My After Story SNAFU
by GodricDamp
Summary: After ten years apart, Hikigaya Hachiman meets up with Yui and Yukino.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: Yahallo, just a quick explanation of this story, this is an attempt to write an Clannad style 'after story' for Oregairu based on a extrapolation of how things are, after the end of the second season of the Anime and Chapter 11 of the Light Novel. In my version of events, Hikigaya enters a relationship with Iroha, this causes a big rift between him, Yui and Yukino. Now ten years down the line he has not spoken to them since, but is now married to Iroha and has a daughter with her. We join him as he waits for Iroha on the anniversary of their marriage._

 _This is still a bit of an experiment in taking a concept and running with it, rather than a proper story. As I know I've not got the characterisation down right, it's proven harder than I imagined to balance the people they were and the people they would become. It also ended up being much longer than I planned, but I hope you all enjoy it and post any thoughts in your reviews. I might write more if people enjoy it. (Edit: I'll also sort out the names and honourifics.)  
_

* * *

 **My After Story SNAFU**

I sat in the high class restaurant waiting for her, waiting for my wife to show up for our anniversary dinner. I glanced at the clock and saw that it had been already been well over an hour since I'd arrived. The staff looked at me dubiously, probably thinking I was some delinquent as I swirled the ice cubes around my drained glass. I let out a sigh and my phone rang, it's unpleasantly cheerful tone causing the other diners to glare at me and with a blushed fumble I pulled it out of my pocket to answer the call.

"Hi ya darling," came a drunk high pitched voice. "I'm so sorry but I won't be able to make it tonight, the function went on waaay longer than I thought it would. Soooo I'm really sorry but I won't make our dinner, sorry again, love you byeeeee." Her slurring voice and the sound of drunken merriment cut off as she hung up without an answer. I wasn't surprised at this, her work for the local government often kept her out late with long meetings and social events. Events that often seemed to lead to her getting very drunk with her clients and colleagues, then coming home at stupid hours. She'd explained to me these were vital part of modern business, making connections and establishing partnerships. I stared without feeling at the smiling face on my phone, before the phone went on standby and the image of Iroha blinked out.

I looked at the empty place opposite and sighed, there was no point in staying here and places this fancy never served decent filling food. They were more places to be seen eating at, rather than places to sate your hunger, probably why Iroha had chosen it. I paid for my lonely drink and headed out, away from the pitying looks of the staff.

I walked into the cold Chiba night and meandered to a random dive of a bar, ordering something cheap to null any remaining senses. I stared about at the near empty bar, the few other drinkers looking like reflections of myself and the young barman tapping on his phone in boredom. A television silently played the latest sports news and I smiled at the girlish tennis champion as he smiled at the cameras. Looking into the bottom of the glass I contemplated my marriage. I knew I should feel angry at Iroha for this, but her work was important to future of Chiba and as a result, very time consuming. It took a lot out of her and she often came home late and exhausted. We barely spent any free time together these days and I was worried about how little time she spent with our daughter. I had been hoping to use tonight to talk to Iroha about my concerns, try and patch things up a bit before it got any worse. I didn't like looking it the void of the future or dredging up the darkness of the past, preferring to I kept my mind focussed on the present. Focused almost exclusively on my daughter, I refused to be the absent deadbeat dad of so many stories, even if it meant I was a house husband.

The term house husband brought with it the twinge of old wounds, I shrugged away the unpleasant memory, forcing my mind back to the light of the present. At least in the present I had my little Homura, who lit up my life with her bright smile and energetic termination to do whatever crazy thing she could think of. I would say she did nothing wrong, but she was five, she was always up to some kind of mischief. I hoped she wasn't causing auntie Komachi too much trouble tonight, but I still worried that they were up far too late playing games or watching cartoons. The alcohol was making me melancholic, it had been 10 years since school, six years since the wedding and five years since Homura arrived. Time had flown by, I had been too focused on the here and now to notice it flitter away from me.

I downed a few more drinks, but I wasn't really in the mood for drinking, but I thought I should since I was taking up space in the bar. My empty stomach was making the alcohol go to my head and I resolved to go out and find something to eat before I wrecked myself. Leaving the warmth of the bar, I searched for a cheap ramen place and strolled down the road looking at the closed shops. A comic book shop was announcing a signing event by some local authors, the authors faces grinned on the poster as they struck poses, making the camera flash reflect off their glasses. I amused myself with the thought of their rival shounen and boy love fan bases, jostling for space within the small shop. Carrying on, my feet sluggish as I rounded a corner to the sound of raised voices. In distance wrapped in shadow, two people were arguing, a bar woman standing firm and a drunk stumbling hard.

"Sir, would you please leave, we're just about to close and honestly you've had more than enough for tonight." She said in an exasperated voice.

"I'll decide when I've had enough," He slurred and pushed her aside. But she quickly moved to block his path, sending him reeling as he lost his balance. "Get the fuck out my way, bitch," he growled as he righted himself ready to charge forward.

"Oi," I yelled, summoning all my drunken bravado. "She said leave," but he ignored me and stuck his hand out to push her away again, which landed on her sizeable left breast.

"Let, go of me, sir" she bristled, using every last bit of restraint.

"Hoho, hello," he grinned, his bloodshot eyes wide with lust.

"Get your fucking hand off her," I yelled even louder, stumbling forward to stop him. But my moment of knightly chivalry was cut short as the woman yelled and the drunk groaned, crumbling downward as her fist slammed into his stomach.

"Thanks," she said as I staggered up to her, she flexed her fingers as she looked down with disgust at the human wreckage groaning on the floor.

"I didn't do anything," I laughed, "You look like you have the situation well under control." Looking at the prostrate figure on the ground as it tried to stand and failed.

She laughed coldly, "still it was nice to know I had some..." She suddenly stopped her voice quivering on the last word as she took a step backwards.

"Hik-ki?" She stammered in a barely audible whisper. I looked up puzzled as my drink dulled brain started to recognise the voice, moving out of the shadows, the neon light from the bar highlighted an exceptionally pretty face with garish colours. My brain crashed with thoughts banging into each other, searching for the right thing to say as I looked into her large glistening eyes. Eventually I managed to stutter out her name, "Y...Yui?"

Her smile cut into me as she raised her hand to my cheek, stroking my stubble as if checking I was really there. The warmth of her soft hand was intoxicating against my cold skin and I had to fight to keep my mind clear.

"Yui!" A harsh voice hurtled out of the bar door, ripping us out of the moment. "Where the hell are you?"

"Uhh ahh," Yui's head snapped to the door and back to me in panic. "I'll be there in a minute," she yelled.

"Hurry up, these tables need cleared and the chairs stacked," came the voice again cutting the night air. Yui's head snapped between the door and me, looking with pleading, tear filled eyes, searching for a solution.

I was so shocked at the look of desperation in her eyes that I had to look away, unsure of what to do or say. I glanced up the street and saw the lights of Ramen shop steaming in the cold, my stomach growled at the sight and I stammered to Yui. "Tell you what, I'll err, wait for you to finish your shift, find me up at that Ramen place."

Her eyes followed my outstretched hand and lit up like a pinball machine. That old sweet smile returned to her tired face and she clasped my hands together in hers. "Please wait for me Hikki, I'll try not to be too long."

"Don't worry I'll wait," I said with what I hoped was a reassuring smile and she smiled back mouthing a thank you, then turned and disappeared inside. I watched her wiggling bottom go inside, then with a sigh, turned and tripped over the fallen drunk.

I sat eating my Ramen without really noticing it, my brain was whirring with thoughts about Yui and what I was going to do once she arrived. Ancient rusted emotions and feelings ground into motion in my mind, trying to decide how to be with her. I thought about being smooth, shy, casual or cold, though I realised I knew I'd just end up looking like an arsehole. I was the one who made a big fuss about being 'genuine' all those years ago, so putting on an act was stupid and she'd probably be hurt by the fact that I'd even tried. I downed a cup of black coffee and ordered another, I needed to be sober for this and I was grateful for the feeling of caffeine cutting through into my clouded brain.

A sudden waft of freshly applied perfume momentarily overtook the smells of ramen and coffee. I could feel her standing behind me as she took a deep breath as a hand gingerly touched my shoulder. Yui swung onto the stool next to me, she adjusted her big white coat and straightened her short black skirt. I was surprised how little she had changed to be honest, her figure was a little fuller maybe and the barman's waistcoat accentuated her bosom. But she was still very much the Yui, I remembered. The main difference was in her eyes, though sparkling with happiness at the moment, she looked very tired and from more than just the late shift at work. I could tell she'd neatened up her hair and hurriedly applied some make up before coming here, though I didn't think she'd needed to.

Yui blushed as she saw me checking her out and said, "Thank you so much for waiting Hikki. I was so scared that you'd be gone by the time my boss let me go."

"I said I would wait," I smiled trying to be more relaxed than I felt.

"It's, good to see you." She said awkwardly, stammering her order of coffee, as I searched for a neutral topic of conversation to start our unexpected reunion off.

"So was everything okay at work, you didn't get in trouble for punching that guy?" I chuckled. She blushed brightly, "its fine, he's a regular and is always like that. The manager just threw him in taxi and sent him home, but he always comes back the following night."

"I'll be surprised if he comes back after that whack you gave him, where did learn a move like that?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"From Shizuki Sensei," she grinned as my stomach muscles clenched involuntarily at the memory. "She taught me how to do it on our last day of school, ordering me to use it on you if I ever saw you again." She said casually before looking straight at me with an evil grin, her fist slowly closing as it readied to strike. My eyes went wide and I shifted away from her on my stool. She held the manic grin for a moment, before breaking into a burst of laughter saying, "oh, I'm just kidding, Hikki," then tapped me playfully on shoulder.

Sensei's ordered hit on me didn't surprise me, she had taken the collapse of the Service Club probably harder than anyone. The third year had been tough as she became increasingly ill-tempered and once we left Komachi said she had become the most feared teacher in school. My personal theory was that she had been living a manga inspired high school romantic dream through us and I had destroyed it. She probably still cursed my name and I still got jumpy at the sound of speeding sports cars.

"I probably deserve it after the shit I pulled." I laughed hollowly.

Yui looked at me sadly, "Still playing the bad guy Hikki, I'm as much to blame as you. I was the one that forced everything into motion because of... because I was only thinking of myself."

"We all messed up Yui, we all could have fixed things if we'd just talked, you, me," I sighed, "and Yukino." Yui flinched at the sound of Yukino's name, I could see tears glistening on her eyes as she looked away from me.

"I guess, but it still hurts," She said quietly. "I lie awake at night thinking about how things could have been, how it could so easily have been better if I just said or done something."

I put a hand on her shoulder in a pathetic attempt to comfort her. "I have those thoughts all the time, but then I look at my daughter Homura and know I have to keep moving forward day by day."

Yui muttered with a sad laugh, "and I thought your sister complex was bad."

"Hey, I was being serious," I cried with mock astonishment.

"I know, sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood. I'd promised myself if I ever met you again I wouldn't dwell on the past, but here I am dragging us back into it." She smiled sadly and added quietly. "You're lucky to have someone like Homura to keep you going."

It hurt to see that once joyful face, wrecked by the pain that I had caused, as we looked at our hands the conversation faltered. I finished my now cold coffee, stood up and stretched. "Would you like me to walk you home?" I offered holding out a hand.

She dried her eyes and forced a smile, "Why Hikigaya," she cried in a mock high class voice. "You're a married man, what would people think seeing you be so bold as walk a young lady home?"

"They would think that maybe she'd prefer to walk home by herself?" I snapped back, a little harsher than I intended.

"No, no Hikki," she exclaimed in panic. "You can you know, walk me home if you want, it'd be nice." She looked down mumbling, her cheeks flushing as she fidgeted with embarrassment.

We left the warmth of the ramen shop and Yui led the way, pulling her coat tight. The silence became increasingly awkward as you wandered through the cold streets, searching for something to talk about. I asked her how the bar work was going in hope of dragging any conversation away from the past.

"It's okay," she sighed quietly, "I'm only doing it to get some extra money together to go to an adult education college. You know the community centre, I help out there and I was thinking of getting some qualifications to do it professionally. I was, going through a bad patch and Saki suggested it to help get me going again." Seeing her tired eyes it worried me to hear that this was her on the way back up. The guilt of knowing it should have been me helping her instead of Saki, as well as knowledge that it was probably me that caused it, burned inside. But to hear her sounding progressive made me glad, hopefully this college would help her move forward.

"That's good to hear, going to college sounds like a great idea," I smiled encouragingly.

The talk of the Community Centre caused an image of Yui to pop into my memory. "Hey," I said brightly trying to keep the mood light. "I remember seeing a picture in the Community Newsletter of you recently." Her face lit up and she opened her bag and frantically rummaged around inside, eventually pulling out a dog eared booklet. She opened it straight on to a page with a photograph of a grinning Yui, surrounded by a mob of children. Looking slightly awkward amongst them was the tall thin figure of Saki, though I couldn't remember her surname, something to with motorbikes I think.

"Yeah I've been helping out there quite a bit recently, it feels good to be helping people again, really helped pick me up a bit. Though I noticed you've been helping out with the newsletter, writing articles and stuff." She smiled happily pointing at the opposite page, where an article on Chiba's eccentric history lay along with a dubious picture of me. I'd tried to look a mysterious rakish author, but I thought I just looked seedy. "It's nice to see you doing more than just being a house husband." She chuckled.

"Don't look down on my house husbandry, I'm very proud of my skills at maintaining a smart home and making sure Homura is growing up to be a proper young lady." I said with my head held high, which only made Yui laugh harder. Actually I was bored most of the time now that Homura was growing up and becoming more independent. I had recently realised that I'd need to do more with my life, especially since Homura would be starting school soon. After seeing an advertisement for writers in an old copy of the Community Newsletter, I had started penning articles on my beloved Chiba and they had happily published them. Not long after, my old school colleague Zaimokusa had contacted me asking for help with his work. So I'd ended up at first proof reading, then editing and now pretty much ghost writing his ridiculous stories. But his sales had increased not long after and he paid me a percentage in gratitude, it wasn't much but it kept Homura stocked with sweets. Before then I hadn't thought much about the future beyond the day to day chores, maybe it was time to look further forward, get some progression in my own life, even if it meant having to look back on it.

"I thought maybe it was time to loosen the apron strings a bit, it has felt good to be writing and as you said helping the community out." I told Yui. "I have felt like I could go further though, maybe I'll go to college myself, though I'm not sure what I'd study."

Yui's eyes sparkled with excitement, "Oh that would be great Hikki, let me know what you decide and we can arrange to go to the same place. Even if we're on different courses we can still hanging out at lunch and afterwards, it would be just like old times!"

The sheer enthusiasm of her response took me aback, but at the same time it was great to see her so happy about something again. Though I wondered whether going back to 'old times' would be good for her and good for me as well.

"Well I can't guarantee it'll happen, it was just a thought, I don't want you messing up your course because you're waiting for me." I quickly added, trying to calm her before she got her hopes up too high.

"I know, I won't, it's just, it would be nice." She said quietly, not meeting my eye.

"It would," I admitted with a smile, "I'll let you know what I come up with."

She smiled warmly and her mood in general seemed lighter, I felt I probably would end up going to college, if only to keep that smile on her lips. The general mood brighter we chatted amiably as we walked, most of my side of the conversation was about Homura, who was pretty much my entire life these days, so the only thing I could talk about. Being far more social, Yui's topics were on a far wider range, from her jobs and some of our old comrades from school, though noticeably avoiding any mention of Yukino or Iroha.

My feet were starting to ache and the cold was getting into my bones, how long had we been walking? "Hey, how much further is it to your place?" I asked whilst rubbing my hands together.

"Erm, ahh," Yui blushed and looked at her feet. "We kind of past it a while ago, but I was enjoying talking to you so much, that I kind of forgot to mention it." Her voice trailed off and I couldn't help but smile at her how cute she looked when embarrassed.

"Some lady you are, taking advantage of one's chivalrous nature," I said in a knightly tone.

"Oh I'm so sorry Sir Hikki, please forgive this foolish lady." She said with a laugh and stuck her tongue out.

"I will if you tell me where the hell are we?" I said looking about.

"You tell me, you're Mister Chiba." Yui replied with mock exaggeration as her eyes snapped to something behind me, before carrying on their search. I turned to see what she had seen and froze at the sight of a familiar large luxurious apartment building further down the street. Yui looked at me with a nervous expression and followed my gaze to the top floor apartment.

"Do you know if she still lives there?" I asked without looking away.

"Last time I saw her she was, but that was quite some time ago," Yui replied sadly.

"We could see if she's in, I suppose?" I said, trying to sound casual to cover my nerves. "You know since we're in the neighbourhood."

"I don't know," Yui shook her head. "We didn't exactly separate on the best of terms and I've no idea how she'll react to you." I looked up again at her apartment, the lights were on but from this angle I couldn't see inside. But as we walked closer, as if summoned a figure walked out on to the balcony. Even from this distance her tall slender figure cut a striking figure in the dark, a white dress augmented her pale skin to contrast sharply with her long black hair that whipped about in the cold north wind. Yui made a small gasp as Yukino leaned against the rail starring into the night sky, looking so alone that it made me nervous. I think Yui had the same thought as she looked at me with worried eyes, in a whisper she said. "We could at least try, you never know she might answer."

I pondered our options, looking up at the distant figure as she put her fingers through her hair. "Well it won't hurt to try," I sighed and mustering my strength, took a hard step towards the building. Yui took a quick step to catch up with me and I was startled to find her hand slipping into mine, her grip tightened as if trying to draw on my strength. I tried not to lose myself in the sweet warmth of her small hand and pushed myself forwards towards the ground floor entrance. With a deep breath I pressed the intercom buzzer for Yukino's apartment, it beeped loudly in the still night air, but there was no answer. My heart was hammering and Yui was shaking, ready to bolt at any second. I pressed it again and we both leaned forward towards the receiver, this time there was a click followed by a tired voice that said, "What is it?"

Yui spoke timidly, "Hi, Yukino, it's Yui, I was..."

I thought I heard a faint startled 'Yui?' Followed by a click as the intercom hung up.

"She, she hung up!" stammered Yui as tears started to form in the corners of her eyes.

"Let me try," I insisted with a tone that I hoped sounded authoritative and slammed the button again.

"Look Yui, I..." came the tinny voice.

"Yukino listen its Hikigaya." My name was echoed on the other end in a frightened tone, but I charged on regardless, "Yui and I, we were passing and saw you up on your balcony. We were worried if you were okay, is it alright if we can come up?" There was agonisingly long silence, then a faint muttering before Yukino forced out, "okay, I'll open the door." The door buzzed open and we headed into the lift, riding swiftly up to Yukino's floor. I tried to give Yui a supportive smile, but her nerves were in tatters and her smile back looked more like a grimace.

The door opened as we approached and Yukino stood there straightening out her rumpled evening dress, trying to compose herself.

"Please come in," she said formally and we thanked her, apologising for the intrusion as we removed our shoes and entered the spacious apartment. Yukino motioned us to sit stiffly and we awkwardly sat down on a black leather couch not knowing what else to do. Yukino moved gracefully into the kitchen to make some tea, but her nervousness showed as the sounds of clattering crockery and dropped cutlery came through the door. I was thinking of checking on her, when she emerged with forced steadiness, carrying a tray of two mugs, a cup and a teapot. She filled the mugs and passed them to us before sipping from her own cup. I looked at the familiar black Pan-San mug wondering if it was my old one, though I suspected Yukino probably had a cupboard full of Pan-San merchandise. She saw me analysing the mug, "It is yours Hikigaya, I thought I'd hold on to them." She said in a cool voice before adding, "Just in case," in a whisper that brought a tinge to her cheeks. Yui looked at her mug in surprise, the faded picture of a dog still pointing its nose at her, "I had wondered what happened to these, I even went looking but they were gone."

Yukino smiled, the familiar blue and white tea cup shaking slightly in her long fingers. She stood looking down at us, swaying as if she was too nervous to sit down and politely engaged in small talk. I was more than a little unnerved by Yukino asking me in a friendly fashion about Homura and what Yui had been up to. Yui was clearly unsettled by Yukino's tone as well, but managed to form answers and ask some polite ones about her in return. Though we found it almost impossible to find out anything about what she'd been doing for the last ten years, the only answers Yukino would give in any detail were about her plans for the future. Also Yukino was much more interested in our plans for the future and she seemed less than impressed by the vagueness of our answers. Yui struggling for things to say started talking excitedly about her plans to go college. Though Yukino was initially supportive, when Yui mentioned that I might be joining her, Yukino became noticeably upset, even though she was trying to hide it.

Yukino switched track and started asking me about my plans for Homura's future, I discussed the schools I had visited and which I thought would be best for her. Yukino seemed pleased with my thoroughness, but less so when she asked about Iroha's views on her daughter's education and the general lack of involvement that she had. She then asked in detail about what Iroha was up to these days, Yui though interested as well, seemed very unnerved by Yukino's interrogative tone. In fact it was beginning to irritate me and I was about to call her out on it, when Yukino got the point in a sharp tone.

"So can you two tell me, how come you are out this late at night, together?" Yukino said in an imperious tone with a threatening emphasis on the word 'together'. Before either of us could reply she rapidly continued, "I was very surprised to see you two, together, especially you Hikigaya. I'd thought you'd have more important things to be doing today with," she paused to steady her increasingly quavering voice, "your wife." The venom in the last line hit me hard and Yui looked at me with wide scared eyes, suddenly wondering the same thing.

Yukino's eyes turned on Yui, who shrank back clutching her mug for support. "I am just as shocked at you Yui," Yukino spat. "I didn't think you were that kind of woman, I thought you were better than that, even if it was with him."

"I've never done anything like that!" Screamed Yui so suddenly that even Yukino seemed slightly taken a back. "I swear I hadn't even remembered it was their anniversary until literally just now. I swore to myself I'd never do that kind of thing, if that's what you think of me. Also I'm sure Hikki had no intentions towards me, at least I don't think he did, did you Hikki?" Yui looked at me with angry tears, her face contorting with conflicting emotions. Her question hanging in the air above me, as I struggled to contain my own anger as I glared at Yukino.

"Yukino," I said with growl as I struggled to stop myself from yelling, "I thought, you were above these kind of vindictive baseless accusations, for your information I was to meet Iroha tonight, but she couldn't make it. I bumped into Yui and we talked for a bit, before coming here, that is all." My voice snapping with finality of my points. "I've never seen either of you as that kind of women, heck I drank enough black coffee tonight to sober up a baseball team, to make sure I didn't do anything like that with Yui. When things have been bad recently, I've been wanting to talk to you two so bad, but I was worried I would be weak enough to let things go that way. You two are both far better than some bit on the side, especially to an idiot like me."

There was a long silence and I realised I'd probably said way too much, even if I had no idea what to say next. Yui's knees were under her chin as she looked down into her empty mug, trying to stop me from seeing the expression in her with red rimmed eyes. Yukino was shaking, her face hidden behind her long hair, as sobs began to emerge from her throat. There was so much anger bottled up in her, she was clearly unable to stop her rage.

"Explain to me Hikigaya, why Iroha isn't with you, right now. Why aren't you having a romantic dinner for two, why isn't she by your side, why is she acting like a complete drunken slut at the Chiba Business Partnership Community Dinner?" Yukino screamed, her eyes wild and red with anger.

"Yukino," I cut in as I controlled myself with heavy breathing, "Iroha works very hard with many late nights, it's okay for her to let her hair down once in a while. Also it's not her fault that an important business function happened to be on our anniversary."

"Ha," Yukino laughed blackly, "Yes she works very hard late at nights, I'm sure."

"Yukino!" Yui shouted as my fist clenched, "You can't say that about someone, even her!"

"Don't defend that, that harlot, Yui," screamed Yukino back. "You haven't seen her so drunk she barely stand, flirting with her clients, laughing at..."

"Yukino!" I said, standing so I could bring myself face to face. "Iroha is just using her charm to broker deals and establish business connections. You know how it works, you're in same busine..."

She moved so fast I felt the slap before I heard it. My vision swam as stars exploded in my eyes, the pain seared up my face as I heard Yui whimper. Through heavy breaths Yukino spat, "I am not like, her," as she towered over me with eyes ablaze. I was too stunned to say anything and the only sound came from Yui curled in a distressingly tight ball muttering, "Please don't," over and over. Yukino turned her head slowly to look at the sound and all the anger went out of her in a second. She looked from Yui, to me, to her reddening hand in shock and then dashed into the kitchen her face in her hands.

I stood for there for what felt like an eternity, eventually I came to my senses walked stiffly over to Yui. Who was still hugging her knees, her face hidden in shadow, as uncontrollable sobs rocked her. She flinched as I lightly touched her back. "It'll be okay, Yui," I said in a shaken voice. "I'll sort things out." She uncurled and looked at me with eyes like a frightened child. Her tear filled gaze pierced my heart, before she wordlessly curled back again and carried on crying.

I entered the kitchen to find Yukino robotically trying to make some tea, but she was shaking far too hard to do it. She was about to spill boiling water over her hands, when I placed my hand on the kettle's handle to steady it. She didn't protest as gently took it away and started making the tea myself, while she stood there locked in position.

"Yukino," I said in a calm voice. "I'm sorry for what I said, I didn't mean to imply that you were like that, I'd never in a million years think you were."

"I know," she said with a deflated sigh, "I know, you didn't, I just, oh god I'm so sorry for, for..." She turned away to hide her face.

"It's okay Yukino, I've had far worse. Look is clearly been a bad day for you. If you want I'll leave and we can talk about this another day, you know with clearer heads."

"No!" She shouted in panic, before calming herself to continue, "If you leave now with things like this, I'll never have the strength to talk to you again. I shouldn't have said those things about Iroha, you won't understand what it's like seeing her like that, I couldn't tell if she was laughing at me or that I was going crazy."

I was wondering how best to respond when a small voice said, "Yukino?" Yui was peering around the door her red eyes made Yukino gulp. "I kind of understand how you feel, a while back Iroha, came into my bar with some colleagues. She was laughing and having fun, but it felt like she was laughing at me, even though I'm sure she wasn't."

Yukino smiled weakly and Yui looked at me asking. "Hikki, could you give me and Yukino a minute, I want to talk to her, in private?"

"Of course," I said uncertainty, "I'll wait out there." Yui smiled with thanks, touching my shoulder as I walked out of the kitchen.

I stood there on my own feeling awkward and felt way too jumpy to just sit down. It wasn't like I was oblivious to how Iroha was and Yukino's claims had certainly crossed my mind on more than one occasion. Though Iroha could be incredibly charming towards men, she also had uncanny ability to rub other women up the wrong way. At family based work events I wasn't blind to the envious looks from her male colleagues and the pitying looks from her female ones. I wasn't sure if Iroha had been mocking Yukino and Yui, I couldn't say that she definitely hadn't. She had liked to parade our relationship during the third year at school and was a major factor in things falling apart in Service Club, even though I tried my hardest to convince Iroha to stop it.

I slowly looked around the room, though still spartan, there were a few more pictures and other homey touches. Most of them featured cats in some way, including a picture of my old cat Kamakura, though I'd no idea where had she got it from. I smiled at picture of me, Yui and Yukino, which stood proud on the mantelpiece. A duplicate of one I also had at home on my desk and no doubt sat somewhere at Yui's as well. I picked it up for a closer look, Yui's big smile grinned out from those happier times, whilst Yukino smiled awkwardly and I just looked like a creep that had wandered into frame. Alongside were a few pictures of Yukino and her family, the older ones looked more sombre, but I was glad to see her looking happier in more recent photos. I hoped that meant things were better between them, I thought of asking, but I felt Yukino had been through enough today to risk dragging up anything else.

I noticed the community newsletter lying on the table and casually flicked through it, amusing myself at the strange world of Chiba. I could hear heated whispers coming from the kitchen, from the hissed mentions of mine and Iroha's names I could guess the context, but couldn't understand the words as they seemed to settle on something and head into the front room.

"I'm glad at least someone reads that," said Yukino with a smile. She looked calmer now and it was nice to see that smile again, even it was as fragile as bone china.

"Well it does have the best writers," I joked back trying to force a friendly mood. The atmosphere in the room was so delicate, one wrong word might destroy our bond forever. I just hoped by acting the fool I could hold us together, if you could even me being a fool acting.

"Yeah ones that barely meet their deadlines." She snapped back lightly.

"I didn't know you helped with the newsletter too, Yukino" said Yui trying her best to be happy, though her voice cracked and her red eyes were surrounded by a ruin of makeup.

"Well I help out with administrative work when I can, though it would be easier if certain staff kept to their schedules." Yukino said with a theatrical glare.

"Hey, if I had known it was you cracking the whip, I'd have double timed it." I said back with a laugh.

"Well you can start by double timing that article due by the end of the week, Hikigaya." Yukino said authoritatively as Yui stuck her tongue out at me. "As for you Yui, can I finally have the details and permission slips for the outing you've insisted on, I've been waiting on them all week."

"Yes mam," I dramatically saluted, with Yui following suit whilst still sticking her tongue out. Yukino put her head in her palm and shook her head. "Come along children," she sighed, "sit down and have some tea before it gets cold."

We sat on the couches, the mood was definitely lighter, but it felt forced and strained as the small talk petered out.

"Look," said Yukino gazing down at her fidgeting hands. "I need to ask you two something and I don't want anyone to get upset, I just, need to know for sure. Just what were you two doing out so late?" Yukino said it in a calm voice, but her face was scared of the answer, "I'm not saying you two are doing anything untoward. Just how long have you been regularly meeting up, even if it's just for friendly chat about things, like we used to, only without..." Her voice started to croak as she cut herself short.

"No Yukino, this is the first time I've met Yui since leaving school," I said blunty trying to keep things straight and concise.

"Really?" She said hopefully.

"Really" said Yui, stilling Yukino's hands with her own. "I've seen Hikki at a distance once or twice, but today was the first time I've spoken to him since school too."

I wondered when Yui had seen me, but shook it away. "Let me explain the whole night, just to clear up any confusion. I was waiting for Iroha at a restaurant when she phoned to say she, as you know, was at that function. I then had a few drinks and ran into Yui beating up a drunk."

Yukino glared at me thinking I was mocking her.

"I was not beating up a drunk," proclaimed Yui aghast, her face bright red. "I only hit him once because he groped me and it was Sensei Punch so it wouldn't have hurt him, much."

Yukino stared at Yui incredulously, then suddenly she burst out laughing. Yui and I looked at each other, slightly scared to see Yukino laughing so hard that she doubled over. Yukino calmed herself and said through breaths, "Yui, you know full well that punch is only for use on Hikigaya." She raised an eyebrow at me with a smile that looked a little too much like our old sensei's for comfort.

Blushing Yui said, "I know, but when I came to do it, Hikki looked so sad and pathetic I couldn't, it'd been like kicking a puppy."

"Okay I forgive you, Yui," said Yukino looking at me with a sympathetic sigh, "but I don't think Sensei will accept that as an excuse." They both looked at me with mock sympathy as I mouthed protests and shook their heads.

We drank more tea and nibbled on some cookies as they made more jibes at my masculinity.

"I hope the cookies are okay, if I'd known you were coming I would have baked something, so I'm afraid these are store brought." Yukino apologised a little flustered as I studied one of the treats in my fingers.

"I wondered why they didn't taste as good as I remembered." I laughed causing Yukino to blush. "Though they're still better than Yui's."

Yui stuck her tongue out and retorted. "I'll have you know the children at the centre love my cookies and cakes, I dread to think of what you cook for poor little Homura."

"Homura loves my cooking and she gets plenty of healthy vegetables, with treats only when she's good." I said with a hand on my chest with pride at my house husbandry.

"I bet you spoil her rotten," replied Yui whilst mouthing 'daughter complex' to Yukino, who chuckled.

The mention of Homura made me check the time and I was shocked to see it was almost one in the morning. I downed the last of my tea and looked at the two women, worried about them taking my desire to leave the wrong way. They must have seen it on my face as they both stopped at looked at me with concern.

"I'm sorry," I started with a sigh. "But it's nearly one, you see Homura doesn't sleep well when I'm not there and Komachi will be wanting to sleep herself." Both women looked disappointed, but said that it was okay and they completely understood.

"But before I go can I," I paused wondering how to put it. "Can I have both your numbers, so I can get a hold of you so we can err, meet up again." I could feel my cheeks flush worried they would refuse, but both girls frantically searched for their phones before I'd even finished asking. We swapped numbers with each other and Yui commented, "You're so scandalous Hikki, asking not one, but two young ladies for their numbers." I rolled my eyes at her whilst Yukino chuckled.

Heading for the door, I slipped on my shoes and coat. Yui was deep in thought, then yawned dramatically and said, "I should probably head home too, I've got an early start at the centre. A certain someone has suddenly given me a lot of paperwork to do," trying to put some cheer on Yukino's distressed features.

Yukino looked down fidgeting, then straightened up to say. "If you don't mind, I could really do with some fresh air, would it be okay if I walked with you two a little way?"

"Of course Yukino," Yui said smiling and I added, "the more the merrier."

"Just hold on a second," Yukino stammered and dashed into her bedroom to change into something warmer. As Yui glanced in the mirror by the door, she saw the streaked remains of her makeup and shrieked, "Yukino, do you mind if I use your bathroom?" Before disappearing even before Yukino had given her consent. They both reappeared a few minutes later looking fresher and warmer, though the lack of makeup made Yui's eyes look more lined and tired, it was a lot better than the trails of tears. We headed out all wrapped up, heading down to the ground floor, into the chill of the Chiba night.

As we walked out the glass double doors, the wind hit us, followed by the sounds of the city's twilight hours. As we heard the roar of distant street race Yukino added, "Yes it's probably best we walk Hikigaya home. I've heard rumours that Sensei prowls the streets at night, I dread to think what she'd do if she caught him." Yukino gave me a look that belonged at campfire horror story and Yui giggled.

"I have a five year old, no woman is scarier than her." I said resolutely.

They both laughed, "I dunno you didn't see her," said Yui, "Sensei was terrifying on that last day."

"Oh I saw her," I replied with a fearful look, "I just made damn sure she didn't see me."

We all chuckled and talked about the lighter times of our lives at school. Before we knew it we were all standing outside my house, the front room light was still on and gave a welcoming glow. We looked awkwardly at each other again, not knowing how to say goodbye.

"Hey why don't you come in and warm up a bit, have some more tea." I offered as watched them rub their hands and chatter their teeth.

"I'm not sure," mumbled Yui, "I doubt Iroha will be happy to see us on the doorstep."

"She won't be back yet," I reassured Yui. "Homura should be asleep and I'm sure Komachi will be happy to see you."

They looked unsure, but followed anyway when I headed towards the front door. I eased the door open and peered inside, there was the quiet murmuring of the TV, but otherwise the house was silent. Slipping out of my shoes and coat I wandered into the front room, after taking off their shoes they followed nervously, eyes wide. In the front room amongst strewn toys, Komachi was dozing beneath a blanket, I walked over and casually flicked her forehead.

"Eh, ah, what." She stammered sleepily, waving away my finger. "Oh there you are brother, have a nice night?" She looked at me upside down then saw Yui and Yukino. Her eyes went wide and she span around, crashing to the floor in a tangle.

"Yui, Yukino?" She cried and shot forwards like a torpedo, grabbing them both into a big hug. They stood there squeezed together, looking more than little scared, but warmed as my sister squeezed. Letting them go she let loose a string of puzzled expressions before turning to me with a more serious look and asked where Iroha was.

"She is out at work function," I said simply and then gave a quick rundown of the night.

"We felt it best to walk him home," added Yukino. "In case it got into any more adventures."

"You don't half know how to make things exciting, brother, though it is great to see you two again." Sighed Komachi, before giving them another hug.

I cleared some toys away and motioned them to sit down, whilst Komachi made some drinks. Yui and Yukino sat there looking a little awkward, peering at the various photographs of Homura that I had covered the walls with. Just as we settled down a small sleepy voice, came from the door. "Daddy?" said a little face, which then yelled, "Daddy!" As Homura hurtled across the room and into my arms for a big hug. Yui's eyes were shinning and Yukino smiled with amusement, whilst Komachi rolled her eyes with a groan at the sight.

"What are you doing up so late, Auntie Komachi should have put you to bed hours ago?" I asked Homura whilst raising an eyebrow at my sister.

"I was, but I heard daddy and wanted a hug." Homura said methodically with a determined expression. She looked critically at Yui and Yukino, "who are you?" She asked bluntly.

"Now be polite Homura" said Komachi critically, "introduce yourself properly."

With a sigh Homura slid down my knee and stood in front of Yui and Yukino like she was at the front of class.

"Hello, my name is, Homura, I pleased to meet you." She clumsily pronounced.

Yukino clapped and hid her laughter behind her hand, whilst Yui's eyes shone so bright I'm amazed she could even see as she lifted Homura into her lap. Yui ruffled Homura's messy black hair and commented that you could tell she is a Hachiman, whilst flicking the ahoge that we shared.

"At least she didn't get her daddy's eyes," laughed Yukino as she peer closely at my daughter.

"My daddy has lovely eyes," said Homura beaming with pride.

"Oh, does he now," said Yukino failing to stifle a laugh. "I wonder how long he spent teaching you to say that."

"Nooo, she says all by herself." I lied with false innocence, to which Komachi barked a sarcastic laugh.

"Actually" said Yui assertively, "Hikki's eyes do seem different, definitely less, rotten as you liked to call it."

Yukino looked critically at my face, "Maybe you're right, I wonder what could have caused it?" She pondered looking at Homura with a smile.

Regardless of whether my eyes were still rotten or not, I was thankful that Homura had inherited her mother's big brown doe eyes, which cast a spell on everyone who looked into them. Yukino picked up a Pan-San doll that was lying on the floor, then began to talk with Yui and Homura about Pan-San, dancing the doll on her knee. Yui played with Homura's hair, trying different braids and bunches with a strangely melancholic smile.

"Great she's already got them enraptured," said Komachi, eyeing them reproachfully.

"You're just jealous that she has more Homura Points aleady, than you ever got in Komachi Points." I jibed, sending Komachi into deeper sulk muttering about daughter complexes. It was then someone's phone rang.

Yukino blushed as the Pan-San theme chimed from her handbag and pulled the phone out with a puzzled expression.

"Sis?" She asked with a frown. I could hear unintelligible babble on the other end, but Yukino answered, "No, the function was a bit much for me, so I went home. You know I'm not good at those things."

I could hear more babble before she responded with, "No, I'm fine now you don't need to come see me, I'm not home anyway."

Yukino's sister presumably asked where she was, to which she responded with trepidation. "I'm err, at Hikigaya's."

The cry of 'What!' was audible from here. Looking flustered, Yukino continued, "I'm at Hikigaya's with Yui, his sister..."

"And me!" Interjected Homura with glee.

"... and his daughter Homura," smiled Yukino ruffling Homura's hair. I heard some garbled shouting from Haruno and Yukino started fiddling with her phone, then pointed the screen at Homura. Haruno's flushed face flicked onto the screen and her eyes went wide as she looked at Homura through the camera.

"Oh my god, she's so cute," came a tinny voice as Homura blushed shyly and hid behind her Pan-San doll.

"Oh no Yukino," exclaimed Haruno, "You've already indoctrinated her into the Pan-San fan club."

"She was already a member," said Yukino stiffly as Homura made the doll wave.

Haruno looked behind her at the debris of the function, staff were clearing the tables whilst a few drunks lazed sleepily. She made a concerned face and asked if the phone could be handed to me. I took the phone and Haruno showed me a dozing Iroha, her dress askew as drool hung from her red lips. I sighed and asked Haruno, "Could you do me a huge favour and put her in a taxi, I'll pay him when they get here."

"Wow look how grown up and responsible you are, Hikigaya," said Haruno, which was retorted with a snort from Komachi. "Tell you what, I'll do one better," smiled Haruno, "my driver's coming to pick me up, I'll bring her over."

"Thanks so much," I said relieved and told her my address.

"Okay see you soon, Yukino and Yui stay there I'll give you a lift home." Haruno then waved and hung up.

"Right," I said standing up, "Haruno and Iroha are on their way, so does anyone want another tea or coffee while we wait?" There was general agreement and I put some drinks together, along with a cup of warm milk for Homura. I didn't expect her to sleep till her mother was home, but after all this excitement she would need help dozing off. The others chatted quietly and after a while Yukino wandered about looking at the photos on the walls, she looked down at my cluttered desk, nodding with approval at the notes for the article I was working on. Then smiled at the framed photograph of the three of us, which was identical to hers except for a long crack in the glass, caused by Iroha hurling it at me during an argument. She showed it to Yui who smiled fondly at it, before Homura distracted her back. I gave everyone their drinks and sipped mine until the lights of an approaching car lit up the room, heading outside to large black Mercedes that rumbled to a stop at the curb.

"Yahallo Hikki," came a drunken cry that split the night as Haruno clambered out unsteadily. "There is your bride," waving a hand Iroha who was spread out in ungainly fashion across the rear seat. The driver frowned at me as I slid Iroha out and carried her towards the front door.

"I hope she wasn't too much trouble, I sighed at Haruno as my wife murmured a slurred hello.

"Don't worry, my driver's used to it." Haruno laughed before crying, "Oh hello everyone," with a wave as she saw the others peering around the door. I carried Iroha inside and straight upstairs to general looks of disapproval from the three women and an excited 'mummy' from Homura who was being fussed over by Haruno. I heard the patter of tiny feet on the stairs as Homura followed me up, as she often liked to help me tuck her mother into bed. I brushed Iroha's hair off her face and with a smile kissed her forehead, before lifting up Homura to kiss her too.

It then time for Homura's bed time again, she waved goodnight to the assembled ladies and jumped into her little bed. She snuggled down as I kissed her on the forehead as well and wished her goodnight.

Returning downstairs I found them already outside waiting by the car which was idling, its lights glaring. Yui was whispering something to Yukino and though she looked unsure she agreed. They approached me as one in a movement that made me slightly nervous, it must have showed because they both grinned.

"Don't worry Hikigaya, we won't fulfil Sensei's request quite yet." Laughed Yukino as my stomach muscles relaxed. She took a deep breath and said, "I really am sorry for what I said earlier, I don't know what came over me, I hope you can forgive me."

"Its fine Yukino," I said with a friendly smile. "I think you needed to say it, the problems of the past were caused by us not talking. So don't feel bad about letting it out."

Yui nodded and followed with, "we've still got lots to talk about, so we will meet up again soon to talk it all over, right?"

"A joint Service Club request to sort this mess out?" I asked with a grin.

"Yes," they both laughed and with a glance at each other the both grabbed me in a big hug. I was very aware of their warm feminine bodies pressed up against me, especially when they both kissed me on the cheek. By the time we separated, we were all bright red and feeling very awkward. They got in the car still blushing and waving goodbyes, whilst Haruno laughed her arse off at us, I waved them goodbye as the car sped off into the night and went back inside.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Asked Komachi with worried expression.

"Do I ever?" I shrugged as we headed back inside.

"No and that's what worries me," sighed Komachi." You know how she feels about those two," glancing at the picture with the cracked glass.

"I'll try to make her understand," I said with a forlorn sigh. "The simple fact is they need me and quite frankly, I need them. If she can't accept that, then well I don't know." Komachi smiled grimly and I shook my head, "I'm too tired to be dealing with something of this level, so I'm heading to bed."

"Yeah, let's deal with this in the morning," Komachi sighed stretching her arms.

"Goodnight Sis," I smiled and ruffled her hair. She fought me off and flopped on to the sofa, yanking the blanket up.

"Night night bro, sweet dreams." She murmured sleepily. I laughed hollowly and headed upstairs. I lay there staring at the ceiling, it was going to take more than some magical lights to sort this mess out.


	2. Chapter 2

**My After Story SNAFU**

 **Chapter 2**

"Nyanpasu!" came the yell, as something flumped on to the bed, forcing me to open my eyes into the cold glare of morning sunlight. For the first time I almost regretted teaching her that greeting, as Homura's grinning face came into view.

"Wake up, Daddy," She yelled jumping on my chest as I groaned in protest, a groan echoed by Iroha next to me as she pulled the blanket over her head.

"Come on dad," Homura bounced, she may have been up half the night, but she was full of beans as usual. A muffled whimper came from beneath the blankets and to spare Iroha's hangover anymore of Homura's enthusiasm, I took our daughter downstairs in search of breakfast.

Komachi was still asleep on the couch in an ungraceful tangle of limbs and blankets, I was going to leave her, but Homura had other ideas.

"Auntie, wakey wakey," she yelled as she shoved Komachi repeatedly until my sister groaned a good morning.

"You'd better be making me coffee brother, you owe me one after last night" she croaked as she hauled herself upwards and then smiled at Homura. "Morning little one."

I passed my sister a cup of coffee and glugged mine down in one go, before dishing up a simple breakfast. Komachi wolfed it down before heading to bathroom. "Mind if I use your shower bro, I've got to head off to work and I smell worse than you."

Ignoring the jibe I waved her upstairs and soon heard the distant roar of the shower. I encouraged Homura to eat her breakfast as she stared slack jawed at the morning's cartoons and started tidying up the front room. Mostly it was toys, paper and crayons, all the usual mess that Homura produced with astonishing speed. I paused as I held the mugs I had given to Yui and Yukino last night, pondering what in the hell I was going to do. There was a temptation just to delete their numbers and pretend like last night never happened, but I knew I couldn't. It wasn't fair on them if I just ran away after barging back into their lives and resurrecting so much heartache. I wondered what they were doing right now and my gut said they were doing the same as me, thinking about this damn mess.

"Nice mugs, bro," said Komachi suddenly, snapping me out my thoughts. Blinking I put the down in the sink, turning to see the now washed and groomed Komachi, looking smart in her work clothes. "Right I'm off to work now, see you guys later."

Homura kept up and barrelled into her aunt, giving her legs a hug that almost knocked her to the ground. "Bye bye, Auntie," Homura said as she squeezed tighter.

"Bye sweetie," said Komachi affectionately and ruffled her hair.

"Hope you have a good day Sis," I said to which she grimaced.

"Same to you bro," she sighed and then quietly said, "Good luck with Iroha today."

It was my turn to grimace as I replied, "Don't worry I'm sure it'll be fine." Reaching forward to button her shirt up to a more modest level.

She looked doubtful, "just don't do anything too stupid," she said as she slid on her shoes and slung on her coat. A blast of cold morning air rushed in as Komachi stepped out, she waved goodbye as Homura and I waved back with a final bye.

Closing the door I looked down at my scruffy daughter, her over ruffled hair now a tangled mess and decided it was time to get her washed and dressed for the day. After a lot of chasing around and splashed water I managed to get us both looking respectable. I sat back on the sofa struggling to get a comb through Homura's wet hair when I heard the shuffling of tired footsteps followed by the shower coming into life again.

Once Homura's hair was as neat as I could get it, I started up the coffee machine and began to rummage around in the cupboards for some painkillers. By the time Iroha came trudging downstairs towelling her hair, I was ready first with the pills and a glass of water, which she accepted gratefully. Then swapping the empty glass for a large steaming coffee she smiled bleary-eyed as she sipped it slowly, savouring every drop.

"Thanks Darling," she purred with a sleepy sigh, "with all this pampering I might start thinking you're hitting on me." She took a long gulp of the coffee and let a deep moan, then started to apologise, but my mind was distracted by the way her bath robe had fallen open.

Iroha coughed to get my attention, "Ahem, Sorry for last night, I will make it up to you, I promise." She smiled seductively before leaning forward and kissing me lightly on the lips, though the sudden movement made her look a little queasy. She stood unsteadily and went a collapsed on the couch, cuddling up with Homura as they watched whatever insanity passed for children's TV these days. I made Iroha some breakfast to settle her stomach and she ate it gingerly at first before devouring the rest.

"So err, what did you do last night?" Iroha asked casually.

I'd been mentally practising my response to this all morning, but I still felt nervous as she looked over at me. "Not much, had a few drinks, bumped into some friends and chatted for a bit, then came home." I said as casually as I could, telling myself I wasn't technically lying to my wife, just omitting certain truths.

"Friends?" muttered Iroha puzzled before shrugging. "Well at least you remember last night, I might have had a little too much and I can't even remember how I got home." She blushed before asking awkwardly, "how did I get home?"

I'd prepped for this answer too and took a deep breath, "Yukinoshita Haruno gave you a lift home, I imagine you remember her?"

She groaned and put her head in hands, "It had to be the Yukinoshitas, I wasn't sick or anything was I?"

"Not that I'm aware of," I said trying to hide a smile. "Though you were completely out for the count, when I carried you in."

She groaned again and Homura chimed in, "Yeah, Daddy looked like a superhero," with a big grin as she did a dramatic shoulder swinging walk.

Iroha laughed at me puffing my chest out, then winced through the pulse of her hangover. "So Haruno saw all this?" She said gloomily then asked, "Was Yukino there?

It took me a little too long to concoct a reply and Iroha was starting to gauge my expression, so I quickly said, "Haruno thought it was hilarious, but she was pretty drunk herself. Yukino..." I paused again trying to decide how to put it, "...disapproved, but she often disapproves of things, so I wouldn't take it to heart."

I gave a weak encouraging smile whilst Iroha laughed bitterly, "I have no doubt she'll hold that against me."

I knew full well how Yukino felt about Iroha's drunken behaviour, my cheek still felt stiff from the force of it, but I wasn't about to let Iroha know about that.

"You really should try not to drink as much at these things, you're lucky that Haruno brought you home. I mean anything could have happened to you in that state." I said with genuine concern.

"I was fine thank you," snapped Iroha, "I don't need the help of the likes of the Yukinoshitas or your nannying to keep me safe."

Homura slipped from her mother's lap to her toy chest in the corner and began quietly playing with her Pan-San doll as Iroha scowled at me.

"Sorry," I said with a sigh of exasperation as I tried to yank the conversation elsewhere before her mood got any blacker. I closed my eyes, feeling the morning light on my eyelids and with as much enthusiasm as I could muster said. "Say it's a nice day, why don't we go out and have a day out together?"

She looked at my exaggerated smile dubiously and then grimaced as she looked at the brightness of the morning sunlight streaming through the window. But before Iroha could refuse, Homura leapt on the idea excitedly, "park, park, park!" She sang as she ran around stuffing random toys and crayons into her Pan-San backpack.

"I guess we're going to the park," I said with a smile as I went to prepare a picnic lunch.

"I suppose I'd better get some warm clothes on," groaned Iroha and slunk upstairs.

Not long later as Homura bounced with excitement on the doormat, we walked out into the sunlight pulling our coats tight. Iroha flicked a pair of sunglasses on against the glare and rubbed her gloved hands together grumbling, "You sure about this, it's absolutely freezing."

"The fresh air will help clear your head." I said as cheerfully as I could, be she looked away stiffly. It was hard work trying to force myself into being upbeat for her when she got in these moods, especially when she was hungover to boot. But it was worth it for when she came out into cheerful and cute self, even though they seemed rarer these days.

We arrived at the park and Homura shot off towards the playground, whilst Iroha and I sat on a nearby bench. I tried to engage Iroha in conversation, but she being stubbornly quiet, though as she watched Homura I saw the hints of a smile return. There were quite a few other kids playing, all waddling around in multiple layers of warm clothes and accessories. Homura never seemed bothered by the cold, so soon her hat, gloves and scarf were strewn about the playground as she hurtled around.

The other parents eyed me with suspicion as I wandered about the playground picking up the abandoned items, only slightly relaxing when Homura came up screaming 'Daddy' and demanded to be pushed on the swings. As I rhythmically pushed Homura, I lost myself in thoughts of how to improve Iroha's mood. This was more than just the hangover, it felt like something else was bothering her. Did she know about Yui and Yukino, had something happened at the party?

I needed to find out, but I'd have to be careful with my investigations as she could get very spiteful in her dark moods and I didn't want her to turn it on Yui or Yukino. Maybe we'd hit the shops, seeing Homura so excited about the festive season always cheered me up and usually had the same effect on Iroha. I looked towards Iroha confident that I had a solution and froze as I saw the couple talking to her. Of all the times, of all the people, it had to be them and in my panic I completely forgot about Homura as she swung back towards me.

My grunt of pain made them turn around, as Homura bounced off my stomach and in a flurry of arms I grabbed her just before she flew off the swing. Homura protested as led her over to them and was greeted by the perfect smiles of Hayato and his wife Yumiko. Looking for all the world like they'd stepped out of one of the fashion posters that Hayato modelled for. Iroha's eyes had a misty quality as they gazed fixedly on Hayato, though her smile that looked so forced I thought her teeth would crack. With them was a very expensive looking pram that contained a gurgling cherub that could only be their baby boy.

"Hi there Hachiman," said Hayato jovially, "suffering the trials of parenthood?"

I forced a laugh at his irritatingly smug features and rubbed my stomach, "You'll be dealing with all this soon."

"Oh I already am trust me," he yawned stretching, the shadows on his eyes the only imperfection on his ruggedly handsome face.

There was a snort from both of the women simultaneously, which was followed by a joint glower at their shared derision. "You men have no concept of what we women go through when becoming a mother," sniffed Yumiko. "Not just the physical trials, but everything we have to give up. The high life and parties, everything in order to be a good mother, isn't that right Iroha?"

Iroha's smile twitched as her fingers flexed, Hayato's usual smirk became distressed and I raced for a way to stop either of them saying anything stupider.

"Indeed, especially when you'd rather not use a nanny to do all the rearing for you," replied Iroha her voice ice cold.

But Yumiko had a retort ready before either Hayato or I could cut in, with an icy laugh she said with a glance at me, "Oh I assure you I deal with all that myself, I don't really on anyone to do the hard work for me. In fact that reminds me, I'm sorry we couldn't stay long at that little soiree last night Iroha, but I had to get 'my' men to bed. Though it sounded like it was quite a wild night, from what I heard."

Yumiko was lucky Iroha was still wearing her sunglasses as the glare she gave, would have vaporised Yumiko on the spot. "It's good to have a break once in a while," Iroha said stiffly.

"To true," sneered Yumiko, "once in a while."

"Now ladies..." Interjected Hayato as he searched about for some way to change the conversation. "Err... Hey look, seems our boy has already found himself a girlfriend." He laughed nervously, pointing at Homura who was peering into the pram at the boy. She batted the chiming mobile and pulled faces, making the baby burble with joy.

"Ha, over my dead body," I laughed half-jokingly seizing the chance to change the subject, "Tell your son to get his mittens off my daughter." The baby swung his tiny mittened hands at Homura's small palms, much too both their enjoyment. But the adorable show had no effect on their mothers, who continued to give each other looks that turned the world dark.

As the uncomfortable silence grew, I knew it was time to get Iroha out of this poisonous environment, before her mood became permanent. Wittering on about needing to do some shopping I grabbed Homura and Iroha's hands a dragged them away. Ignoring their protests as I left a haughty Yumiko and a bemused Hayato in our wake. We headed towards Chiba's shopping district, Iroha setting a furious pace as she muttered curses that I hoped Homura couldn't hear. Homura was struggling to keep up and soon I had to hoist her into a piggyback, she sang bits of a theme song as I tried to get a handle on what had just happened.

Hayato and Yumiko were the current celebrity couple of the Chiba area, seeming to be famous for no particular reason other than simply looking good. Which seemed to be the only requirement for being a celebrity these days, with their faces adorning many magazines and fashion advertisements. Their marriage and recent child had been the talk of the town, much to Iroha's increasing displeasure. I'd thought she would be over her feud with Yumiko after all these years, but Iroha held on to grudges like a dog with a bone. As proved with her continued animosity towards Yui and Yukino, even though I thought we'd all moved on before yesterday. I was getting the feeling something more had happened at that party beyond Iroha having a few drinks and I wasn't relishing asking her about it.

When we arrived in the city centre, I found a quiet coffee shop and walked into its blessed warmth. I picked a table that overlooked the shop's small creche were Homura quietly played with the worn out toys, lost in her own little world. I passed Iroha her coffee and she quietly drank it, her hands still tense with anger. Though as she took her sunglasses off, I could see she emotionally worn out and looked like she could fall asleep.

"Are you okay?" I asked, taking her hands in mine. "What happened back there, Yumiko can be a bitch, but I've never seen her that bad."

"I've no idea, she's just up her own arse as usual," Iroha growled.

I battened down the hatches and ploughed on, "So what happened at the party, I got the impression you saw them there?" I asked as lightly as I could.

"Nothing," she exclaimed her eyes flaring darkly, "Yumiko was flouncing about with her baby, saying how amazing she is, like she was the only working mother in the room. I was just chatting with Hayato when she storms over and drags him away making a big scene about going home."

"That's all?" I asked.

"That was all." She stated bluntly, "Yeah I was angry at them and probably drank a bit more than I should afterwards, but she had no right to say those things." She paused for breath, before turning on me, "You know you could be more supportive, they're the ones that were being rude, yet I'm the one feeling like I'm under interrogation."

"I just wanted to get the facts straight," I tried to assure her. There was something in her story that didn't fit, but I wasn't sure what.

"Facts, what are you, some great detective!" She yelled far too loudly for the quiet shop, "You should be on my side regardless. I bet Hayato would have jumped to Yumiko's side if I'd said things like that to her and trust me I wanted to. But you had to drag us away, running away like cowards."

Actually Hayato would have probably wedeled his way to some middle ground, trying to keep both sides happy. But there was no use in pointing out Hayato's flaws to Iroha, it never ended well. She must have sensed my line of thought as she continued, "At least he'd done something, rather than standing there like an idiot."

She thumped the table sending drops of coffee flying, "Dammit Hachiman, you used to be full of fire and rage against the world, I thought it was those stupid girls and their ridiculous club that changed you. Though maybe this is just how you really are, another weak goody two shoes scared of doing wrong, what in the hell happened to that guy I feel in love with?"

"He grew up." I snapped back, Homura's frightened gaze forced me to hold back my own anger, if only by a thread. I was tired of this crap, every time some bit of the past cropped up.

Iroha blinked at my harsh tone and rubbed her temples. Closing her eyes with a sigh she stammered quietly, "Sorry darling, I'm still not feeling well. I think I'll head home for some quiet time, you and Homura go shopping, buy her something nice."

"Hey, wait Iroha" I started, rising to follow her out.

"No, I need to have a bit of rest, by the time you're home, I'll be fine," She smiled weakly.

"Mummy," Homura yelled excitedly running over, making her mother flinch. "Are we going to the shops now?"

"You and daddy are sweet pea," rubbing her daughters hair. "Mummy needs to go home and have a rest."

"But mom," Homura whined, tears welling in her eyes, "I wanted to go with you."

"I know," Iroha sighed, "we will soon I promise." Then before either of us could stop her she walked out of the door and disappeared into the crowd of shoppers. We watched her go and Homura started to sniff, before screaming the place down.

Taking Homura away from the stares of the other coffee drinkers, she nuzzled her tears into my shoulder and shook as we aimlessly wandered. Iroha had become increasingly hard to talk to about serious issues, she usually took it as a personal attack and lashed out. Then dodged the main issue by focusing on something relatively minor, until the original purpose was forgotten. I'd made no progress at my promise to sort out our problems and I had no idea how to proceed without making things worse.

But for the moment I needed to focus on cheering Homura up, she'd stopped crying, but clung to me like a limpet. I took her to her usual favourite shops, but neither toys nor sweets had any effect on her mood. Her pout was cute, but I hated seeing it on her little face and not even the Pan-San shop raised a smile. At a loss I searched for somewhere to go, I really didn't want to head home and face Iroha yet. Turning in a circle looking for an idea, I saw a small notice board with hand drawn cats in Santa hats.

The sign advertised a Christmas fair at the Community Centre with stalls selling local crafts and various children's activities. It sounded like it might have potential, but I knew there was a good chance Yui would be there, possibly Yukino as well. I hadn't wanted to see either of them quite so soon, worried that they might read too much into it. But maybe there was something there that would cheer Homura up, I doubted it would make her any worse.

After a short walk we entered the centre, it wasn't too busy with the majority of the customers being elderly folk seeking a respite from the cold. I didn't immediately see Yui or Yukino, but a tall familiar looking woman with a long blue ponytail eyed me critically. Eventually in a corner I spied Yui running a face painting stall, where she was blackening the nose of a small boy so he looked like a dog. As she saw us approaching her eyes widened, there was a yelp as her brush drew a long whisker across the boy's cheek. In a fluster Yui panicked and hurriedly tried to correct her mistake, blushing as she glanced sidelong at me. Once the boy's transformation was complete, he ran off to his smiling mother and Yui turned to greet us properly. But her smile turned to concern as she saw Homura's downcast expression.

She searched for something to say before leaning forward to look into Homura eyes, smiling Yui asked, "Hey Homura, do you want your face painted, what would you like to be?"

Homura was silent, still looking down, I knelt and asked her gently, "Come on Homura, don't be rude, what would you like Auntie Yui to turn you into?"

Homura looked thoughtful then grumpily announced, "A tiger raarrr," roaring with a fierce determination.

"A tiger!" exclaimed Yui, trying not to laugh. "Why of course, take a seat and we can get started."

Homura sat down and Yui laboriously started painting, chatting with my daughter constantly, Yui's infectious smile slowly spreading to Homura. Yui was making a great deal of effort on the face paint, certainly taking more time than on the dog boy before her. By the time my own little palm top tiger had gained her stripes, Homura was back to normal as she jumped up and roared at me. There was no way anyone couldn't smile at that, I ruffled Homura's hair careful not to smudge the paint and smiled warmly at her. I brought some tea to thank Yui with, sitting and watching Homura run around the hall roaring at the elderly clientele.

"So I'm guessing by your faces earlier, things aren't well Iroha?" Yui asked with a worried expression. "She took hearing about me and Yukino that badly?"

I gave a hollow laugh, "I haven't even told her about that, this is because we ran into Hayato and Yumiko earlier." Following with a quick rundown of today's events.

Yui sighed, "Yumiko never was one for guarding her tongue, is that exactly how Iroha described things at the party?"

"Yeah," I replied, "they were just chatting and Yumiko freaked out, why do you ask?"

Yui looked at her paint splattered fingers, deep in thought. "It's nothing, just wanted to double check." She said with a forced smile before rapidly changing the subject. "Anyway, have you had any thoughts on that college course?"

Her eyes looked at me brightly as I looked down apologetically, "sorry I've been so busy this morning that it slipped my mind."

"It's okay, you've had a crazy day, by the sound of it," She said trying not to look forlorn. "I err, have a prospectus in my bag if you want to sit together and have a look."

I still wasn't sure this college thing was a good idea, I searched for a polite way out and fortunately saw the couple who were politely waiting for Yui to paint their excited daughter's face.

"I would but it looks like you've got another customer," I said standing to let the little girl sit down. Yui quickly hid her exasperation with a friendly smile, "just don't forget it completely or you'll miss the application date."

"I won't," I waved casually with a smile as Homura ran up to me, "Now say thank you to Yui for her amazing face painting, Homura."

"Thank you," said Homura. Her stripes spreading with her grin as she ran up to the blushing Yui and gave her a hug, leaving a splodge of orange on Yui's nose.

I began to walk away then remembered something, "Yui, is Yukino around, I wanted to ask her something?"

Yui's eyes looked upwards, then she quickly said, "No, she was here, but had to go do business stuff, you know Yukino." Before rapidly busying herself with painting butterflies on the new child.

I shrugged, "No problem, I'll ask her another time." Then Homura and I walked way giving a brief wave that Yui vaguely returned. We walked out of the hall and as we stepped through a cloud of cigarette smoke.

"Hikigaya, may I have a word please?" Said a voice to my left. Puzzled I turned to meet my addressee and faced the tall blue haired woman I saw earlier. She seemed very familiar, but I couldn't mesh the vague concepts of sake and black lace into a coherent name.

"Oh err, hi." I said vaguely hoping to bluff my way through.

"I just want to say be careful with Yui, she's been through a lot and is…" the woman paused searching for the right word, "…delicate right now. I don't want her getting hurt again, especially by you."

A part of me wanted to ask more about what had happened to Yui, but I didn't think she'd be too happy about me learning it from another person. Though this woman didn't strike me as the gossiping kind, so she probably wouldn't have told me anyway.

"I have no intention of messing her around if that's what you're thinking." I snapped back, tired of being talked to like I was clueless of Yui's mental state, which worried me deeply.

"Good," she smiled with a hint of warmth, "sorry I just wanted to be sure."

"Its fine, I'm glad you've been looking out for her..." I paused struggling to remember this woman's name, Honda? I was sure Yui had mentioned her, sake again? That was it "Saki!" I said her name out loud with a little too much triumph and she smiled with amusement.

"As long as you look out for her too, Hachiman," she said giving my name an equally dramatic flourish. "Sorry for taking up your time, I'll let you and your little tiger go." She smiled as Homura roared at her, then Saki stubbed out her cigarette and walked back into centre, her pony tail swishing side to side.

Homura and I then headed for home, she ran about at limits of our held hands. Happily roaring at confused dogs, amazed children and amused adults. Saki's warning had struck a chord, whatever had happened with Yui, she seemed to clinging a lot too strongly the idea of being around me. As much as I liked the idea of going into adult education, I worried that it would reinforce the ideas in Yui's head. On the other hand not going would hurt her as well, in the end I'd probably hurt her regardless, I just had to let her down gently. An intrusive thought pondered not letting her down, but I quickly buried it before it could germinate.

I sighed and shook my head, whatever I did I'd need to do it soon before things got out of hand. But I needed to deal with the much greater problem of Iroha, I was not looking forward to dealing with what waited for me at home. Not long later I was standing outside my house where, I took a deep breath, braced myself and slowly opened the door.

"Evening Darling," came a cheerful voice from the kitchen. "Perfect timing, dinner is just about ready."

I was partly relieved and mostly unnerved by her tone and even Homura looked at me a little warily. But as we entered the kitchen, Iroha beamed at us, as the smells of cooking came from boiling pots and searing pans. She tightened the strings of the cute apron she wore and raised an eyebrow.

"Err, Hachiman, where's our daughter?" My heart jumped for a second before Iroha continued, "Because it seems like you've brought home a tiger instead."

"It's me Mummy," yelled Homura before running up to her mother and roaring once more.

"My, my Homura you do look ferocious, I see you had fun this afternoon."

"Yeah, daddy's friend turned me into a tiger," said Homura, whilst I quickly tried to keep my face neutral against the curse words boiling inside of me.

"Daddy's friend, eh?" She queried raising an eyebrow at me. "Well I hope you were good for them and said thank you?"

I was saved from further interrogation by the buzz of a cooking timer and Iroha began serving up. As Homura and I set the table, I tried to repress the feeling of unease with Iroha's sudden change in temperament. Though such mood swings weren't uncommon with her, in fact they were fairly normal, it was important to find the root cause before the situation went bad again. At the moment I was just relieved just to see that cute smile back on her lips and the light shining once again her eyes, I just hoped they weren't the eyes of the storm. Granted one explanation was evident in the half drunk bottle that I cleared off the table, tucking it away and hoping she wouldn't want more. Soon Iroha emerged with dinner, looking a little unsteady as she balanced the plates and bowls. We sat down to eat and as usual Iroha's cooking was great, though it took some convincing to get Homura to eat her greens. Her claims that tigers only eat meat fell on deaf ears and she grudgingly ate them after we pointed out that tigers don't eat pudding either.

Once dinner was eaten and cleaned away, we relaxed in front of the television, doing the usual normal boring family thing that most normal boring families do. It was so nice to have us all together and in good spirits, I certainly had no desire to break it. But soon I could see Homura starting to nod and with a degree of sulking I took her upstairs to bed. But first there was the challenge of getting the face paint off, Homura fought and cried at even the suggestion. Insisting that she could sleep with it on and that it wouldn't get all over her bed. After some running, yelling and a lot of scrubbing, a red faced Homura was grumpily put to bed. The faint lines of the stripes were still evident as I kissed her goodnight and tucked her in, heading downstairs to re-join Iroha as she lazed on the couch. We cuddled up together chatting lightly and watching whatever came on television. A cooking show, a celebrity quiz and the adventures of a naturally wavy haired samurai flashed in the background. But the gnawing feeling that I should be using our time alone together to talk about more serious matters came back, but I really was loath to break this mood. Then any thoughts on the matter vanished as Iroha turned to me with her eyes glittering with a mischievous grin.

"Now Senpai, how about I make up for missing our anniversary yesterday?" My initial confusion at hearing that old pet name vanishing as her fingers deftly unfastened my belt.

Quite some time later, we lay in bed basking in the afterglow, Iroha rested her head on me as I ran my fingers through her tousled hair. She turned and looked up at me, a warm smile on her lips as she lightly ran a fingernail up and down my chest.

"So Senpai," she said as her smile took on a sinister air. "Tell me about this 'friend' of yours."

* * *

[ _Author's note: Yahallo everyone, thanks for all the reviews both positive and critical, this ended up being more popular than I ever thought it would be. So here's chapter 2, I hope you all enjoy this one, Iroha was a challenge to write and I'm still not sure I've taken her down the right route. I'm trying not to go too NTR, but it can tricky with it being both SNAFU and an After Story. Anyway_ _let me know what you think and if you want more. Also I will one day sort out the names, honourifics and whatnot, but it's probably not going to be until the release of the officially translated light novels._

 _Godric.]_


	3. Chapter 3

**My After Story SNAFU**

 **Chapter 3**

"Tell me about this 'friend' of yours?"

My blood ran cold as she said these words, my brain screamed 'Fuck!' so loud it would have woken every telepath in Japan. The shock blasting away my warm, happy feeling like ice cold shower. I grasped for a meaningful reply, but Iroha continued with an unsettling smile.

"You see," she pondered tapping a manicured nail against her chin. "I'm having trouble thinking of anyone that could even vaguely be considered a friend of yours, which would be around for a late night chat, let alone be into face painting. Because I really hope you didn't let that creep Zaimokusa near our daughter, though I doubt he'd be into face painting. Totsuka is playing tennis overseas, you'd never consider Hayato or his pals as any friends of yours..."

Iroha toyed like a cat with a mouse, thinking through my admittedly short list of acquaintances. House husbandry didn't really lend itself to meeting new people and Iroha could very funny about me making friends, especially female ones. So the amount of people I met anywhere outside of the Internet, was depressingly small. I gave Iroha a look that told her to get to the point and she smiled triumphantly, her eyes twinkling in the darkness.

"So that only leaves good old Yui and Yukino. Which surprises me as I was sure you had promised me not to have anything to do with them. Now Yukino is enough of a crazy cat lady to want to turn Homura into a tiger," said Iroha flicking her hair and looking down at me with an imperious expression which bore a passable resemblance to Yukino. "But I can't imagine her dirtying herself with face paints or wandering the streets at night. So that can only mean it..."

"Yui," I butted in bluntly, "It was Yui that painted Homura's face and it was her I talked to last night, though later we ran into Yukino. Nothing untoward happened, we just talked." Iroha's face darkened with rage, though I couldn't tell what Iroha was angrier about, that I'd seen them or that I'd ruined her stupid game of deduction.

"Do you honestly expect me to believe that," Iroha snapped, "That you just happened to bump into those two on our anniversary and just happened to go strolling down to where Yui was this afternoon?"

"Well if you hadn't been so plastered you couldn't even make our anniversary and then so hungover you had to head home leaving our daughter bawling her eyes out," I snapped back. "Then maybe I wouldn't have had to."

"Oh so it's my fault, that the minute I'm out of the way, you go wandering back to those two bitches," she shouted, pointing a sharp finger nail at my face.

"Ha, hardly," I snorted, before slowly stating like as if to a child. "There is nothing going on between me, Yui and Yukino."

"Do they know that, I bet Yui would love her brave Sir Hikki to come rescue her from a mediocre life working in bars and babysitting brats?" Sneered Iroha, clasping her hands together with wide adoring eyes, in mockery of a maiden. "Oh and I'm sure that bitch queen Yukino would love to have her little errant boy back, maybe to help her fish that fat head out of her skinny backside."

"I made it quite clear to them that nothing was going to happen." I growled with impatience, struggling to keep my voice level. "Which is more than you do, it is quite clear you tried to do way more than just chat with Hayato."

"Nothing happened with Hayato, trust me," She snarled looking like I'd just punched her in the gut.

"Oh I'm quite sure he never did anything with you," I smiled back spitefully. "But it makes me wonder what else you've been up to at these parties?"

"Really is that the kind of bullshit Yukino was spilling to you," screamed Iroha. "That woman is just jealous that she's too much of frigid bitch for the guys to even bother with, but as always you fall for her sweet on the inside crap."

"I didn't need Yukino to tell me anything. Do you seriously think I've never wondered what you get up to?" I stated without remorse.

"I've never been unfaithful to you, ever," shrieked Iroha with a face that looked monstrous in the dark.

"How would you know?" I laughed darkly as I leaned in close, "you were so wasted anything could have happened to you."

"Nothing happened to me, I would know." Iroha snarled stating each word like a bullet. "If something like that did, I would like to think I have support from my husband, not fucking accusations!"

I blinked, my rage suddenly cooling as I realised the full implications of what I'd said. Taking a deep breath as I acknowledged that I had crossed the line, I raised by hands in front of me and said. "Okay, I'm sorry you're right, I was just worried about your safety."

Iroha snorted, "Of course you were, worried that I might run off with a real man like Hayato, more like."

"No," I dismissed, "I have no fears of Hayato stealing you away." While I'd never been his biggest fan, he did have an admirably strong sense of honour and I didn't believe for a second that he'd ever cheat on Yumiko. Even if he did consider it, he'd be more interested in pursuing Yukino than Iroha, not the Yukino would ever agree to such a thing.

"What even you think that Yumiko is better than me, do I hear my own husband drooling after that stuck up blonde bitch?" Iroha seethed.

"No," I laughed incredulously, what little time I'd spent in Yumiko's company had been spent looking into her upturned nostrils. I had no envy for Hayato, no matter how good she looked, "I don't know why you're getting so upset. It's a bit rich you accusing me of being jealous of Hayato, when you freak out at me having anything to with Yukino or Yui, heck you only grudgingly accept Komachi and she's my sister."

"That's different," cried Iroha, "things between Hayato and I are nothing like that weird club you three belonged too, not to mention your fucked up sister complex."

I rolled my eyes as our argument started to loop like an endless summer, "I don't have a sister complex and for the fifteen thousandth time, there's nothing going on with Yui or Yukino."

"I don't care how many times you say it, I don't want you seeing those two again," stated Iroha in tone that booked no argument.

But I was too angry to listen to that tone and my own turned sardonic as I said, "Any chance you could give me an actual reason why?"

"Because I, your wife, said so!" she screamed so loud the windows rattled.

I was about to retort with something that I'm sure would have been witty and devastating, when a second scream echoed from the next room. I instinctively jumped up and made a move for the door, as Iroha glared at me. "She'll be fine, just leave her be and she'll be asleep again in a minute."

I returned her glare to say 'seriously' and dashed out of the room. As I entered her bedroom, Homura sat bolt upright with her blanket wrapped around her, staring at me with wide terrified eyes that glittered in the dark. I sat on the bed next to her and she mumbled something about roaring tigers as she cuddled against me, her tears wet against my chest. I stroked her hair as I tried to sooth her and eventually I felt her become heavy as she fell back to sleep. Gently tucking Homura back in, I slipped out of the her room and flinched as I felt Iroha's beam like glare burning into me, as I tried to sneak past our bedroom.

"Don't think this is over Hachiman," she yelled. Her shout of, "yeah that's right run away as always," following me as I made my tactical retreat downstairs. I told myself that there was nothing to be gained by going back and facing her. That argument could only go downhill, the only hope was by the morning she'd cooled down and we'd be able to talk about things normally.

I stood in the living room searching for something to do, the argument had got my adrenaline pumping and there was no way I was going back to sleep. I powered up my archaic computer and made a coffee whilst it whirred into life. I sat staring at the screen, drumming my fingers on the mouse, when a small surge of rebellion coursed through me. I decided screw Iroha's demands, I was going to join Yui and go to college, it didn't matter what course it was as long as I was going. As petty as it was I began to search for courses that interested me, making a point to cross reference for anything that Yui might like. My sleep deprived brain laughed at how pathetic I was as I bookmarked the course details, then started to manically search for something else that might piss Iroha off. I then saw my article notes and decided it was time to finish it, I'd then hand it to Yukino personally just to piss off Iroha that little bit more. Sure I could email it to her in seconds, but I revelled in the idea of defiance as I would stroll up to Yukino, memory stick in hand. My fingers hammered the ancient keyboard, sure it was work, but it felt like play and for the first time in ages I didn't feel like a dull boy.

"Daddy?" came a puzzled voice as something poked my side. I tottered on the chair in surprise as the keyboard became unstuck from my face and clattered to desk. I stretched my cheek feeling the grooves left by the keys and blinked at Homura.

"Morning sweetie," I smiled with bleary eyes, "you okay?"

She frowned, "What you doing here?"

I glanced at the computer screen, the gibberish typed by my face filling the page, taking a second to remember. "I was just doing some writing and must have fallen asleep." I said with a reassuring smile.

"Has Mommy gone to work?" Homura said with concern. I wasn't sure what she'd heard or understood from last night, but it had clearly unnerved her. I quickly hid my own concern as I glanced upstairs and quickly said, "Yeah she had to rush off to work." I hoped my smile would cover my own nervousness as my heart thumped in my chest. Homura seemed unsure, so I tried to distract her with breakfast and television, but she was still wary.

I nipped upstairs and I was relieved to see Iroha's makeup still spread over the dressing table. The old hold-all bags were still gathering dust on top of the wardrobe and her clothes still hung inside. I breathed a sigh of relief as I absent-mindedly straightened the bed. While things between us were hardly peachy, I wasn't exactly ready for her to walk out on me. The thought of her grabbing Homura and storming out of my life, sent a chill right through me. The shudder was joined by a vibration as my phone buzzed in my pocket, expecting it to be Iroha, I quickly fished it out and was surprised to see Yukino's name on the screen.

The message read, 'Hello Hikigaya it's Yukino, can you give me ETA on that article. The next newsletter needs to go to print in next few days.'

I blinked at my phone in confusion as my brain took a moment to catch up. I wasn't sure what state the article was in downstairs, but I was sure I could hammer something out in a day or so. I sent a message back that I'd have it done by tomorrow and after a pause asked if it was okay if I brought it to her in person as I wanted to talk to her about something. There wasn't an immediate reply so I headed back down and plonked myself in front of the computer as looked at the mess of an article I'd written.

There was about five pages of gibberish typed by my sleeping face, but once I'd cleared it out I found I'd written a fair amount. It was still a mess with wild tangents, bad grammar and spelling mistakes everywhere. I knew that Yukino would go through it and correct everything herself, but my writer's pride meant I wanted to make sure I made it as good as it could possibly be. The article wasn't particularly long or in depth, it was more designed to install pride in Chiba's people, than be an accurate analysis of Chiba's role in history. So as I flicked through a few library books I'd borrowed, searching for positive facts to add.

As I typed Homura hopped between playing and watching TV, she seemed unsettled though with nothing really holding her attention for long. She'd regularly wander over to see what I was doing, before listlessly wandering back. Eventually I let her sit on my lap and she'd watch as I typed, my arms awkwardly wrapped around her. As I typed she'd try to read my writing out loud, most of it was way beyond her ability, especially the old terminology and names, but I still proud that she was trying. Occasionally she's flick through the history books in front of me hunting for the few pictures, but since they were often portrayed some of the less pleasant aspects of Japan's history, I often had to pull them away from her. As I dramatically typed the last sentence I stretched, feeling my joints pop and click with the sudden change of position.

A rumble of my stomach indicated it must be lunch time, the empty fridge meant a quick trip to the supermarket where I was glad to see there was a sale. The quick trip turned into a long jaunt to the park as I let Homura run around with the other children and the winter sky began to darken. As the street lamps blinked on, a chill wind sent parents dashing to wrap their children up and take them home. I was no exception as I stuffed the grumbling Homura back into her coat and led her back home.

Back at home Homura and I idled, it wasn't much different to what we did normally, but today I felt particularly restless. I edited the article for a bit, then tapped a few words for the next one before giving up and roaming the internet. Homura worked at an educational children's magazine I'd brought from the shops, but her heart was clearly not in it. I guess we were both waiting for Iroha to get home, but the afternoon dragged into the evening and there was still no sign of her. Then suddenly my phone buzzed and we both jumped excitedly, but it was Yukino. In my increasing disquiet over Iroha, I'd completely forgotten about messaging her, Yukino's message read.

'Okay, I should be free at lunch time tomorrow, there's a café just outside our offices, it shouldn't be hard for you to find. I'm sorry for taking so long to answer, but I needed to think about it.'

I replied quickly say that it would be fine and that I knew the café she was talking about. Tomorrow lunch time was fine, Homura was at her play group till three in the afternoon so I'd have plenty of time to talk with Yukino. But that for the me of tomorrow to worry about, now I just had to worry about Iroha, who had still not arrived. I sent a message to Iroha asking when she'd be home, I pondered calling, but Iroha hated me phoning her at work as I had a knack of interrupting meetings. Homura whimpered as she cuddled up to me on the sofa, she was starting to fall asleep, but was determined to stay awake till her mother came home. I had wanted to wait for Iroha before doing dinner, but Homura would probably be asleep by then so I cooked something quick. Homura fussed about me trying to help, as she offered me random utensils and ingredients, but I was more concerned with keeping her away from hot pans and sharp knives.

After we'd eaten I was just placing Iroha's dinner into the fridge, when a blur suddenly shot towards the door and yelled for her mother just as the door opened and a tired Iroha sighed in.

"Sorry I'm late," she muttered as Homura latched on to her in big hug.

"We've literally just had dinner, yours is here if you want it." I said as I slid the warm plate on to the counter. She thanked me in a tone that was a little terse, but was clearly thankful and rapidly ate, choking slightly on the rice. Homura was chatting randomly about her day, whilst Iroha nodded and smiled at her, too tired to really listen. Once Iroha had finished she insisted that it was time for Homura to go to bed, Homura feebly protested, but Iroha was having none of it. I listened to the sounds of Iroha talking upstairs with smile as Homura was tucked in and wished a good night. Soon Iroha returned, collapsed on to the sofa and said, "I guess we need to talk."

I sat down on the armchair opposite with some trepidation and an uncomfortable silence swept the room as we both struggled to find somewhere to start.

"So," said Iroha conversationally, "What was that thing you were working on late last night, I saw you dozing at the screen as I left this morning?"

"Oh, just a new article for the newsletter," I said a little surprised that shed noticed. Iroha looked puzzled so I continued irritably, "the Community Newsletter. I mentioned I was writing for it a while ago."

"Oh that rag, they're constantly bothering us to get 'governmental support,'" dismissed Iroha in a sarcastic tone that suddenly darkened. "Wait isn't Yukino involved in that?"

Whilst my work was never going to win a Pulitzer Prize, hearing it being called a 'rag' galled me a little and then having Yukino dragged into things again made me roll my eyes.

"She does admin stuff I believe," I said with exasperation, "though I didn't know she had anything to with it when I signed up for the gig." As Iroha looked at me cynically, I added. "If I do have to deal with her, it'll be strictly business."

"Strictly business?" She asked with a doubting tone.

"Strictly business." I confirmed bluntly, narrowing my eyes against Iroha's cynical ones.

Iroha rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed, "Fine, though if you're going to be working till the early hours, you could at least be getting paid for it. It wouldn't hurt for you to get a job, especially once Homura starts school. I'm not working my arse off so that you can laze around on yours."

I had been looking forward to lazing around all day once school started, but Iroha was right, so I reluctantly agreed. "I'll look into it, though I can't guarantee any success in the current climate, though I had been thinking of going to an adult education college."

Iroha narrowed her eyes, "and you were going to tell me this when?"

"When I had a better idea of if I was going to do it and what I was going to do," I snapped.

"Well do you?" She snapped back.

"Something involving writing, I'm not sure what exactly," I replied irritably, trying to stop myself from turning this into a full on argument.

Iroha sighed again, "You could at least pick something that would lead to steady employment and regular pay. But I admit at the moment, I can't think of anything else you're even vaguely good at."

"Gee, thanks for the encouragement," I said sarcastically.

"There's no need to be like that Hachiman, I just want you to do something worthwhile, not just coast along with whatever easiest." Iroha said with an attempt at an encouraging smile. "Sometimes you need a kick up the butt to get you moving."

"You're starting to sound like my old teacher," I said darkly. "Though she was more literal."

"I hope not, that woman was scary,' laughed Iroha with forced joviality, "but maybe she had a point."

I kept my own thoughts on whom was scarier to myself and sighed. "You're right, you're right, I'll start looking in the morning."

Iroha smiled faintly, "I wish I could help you, but they're laying off rather than hiring at the moment and accusations of nepotism will do me no favours."

"I wasn't expecting you to, I shouldn't lean on you anymore, I can't be a house husband forever," I replied with a slight smile.

"See it as new start for you, Homura will be starting a new chapter and so can you Hachiman. You don't need the help of Yui and Yukino, I'll support you through this." Iroha said in light tone, though it still felt like an ultimatum.

"I wasn't planning on asking them, but if they ask, I won't say no. Just like I won't say no if they ask me to help them." I said with tired exasperation.

"But you don't need them and they don't need you. I'm all the support you need and I'm sure they have people to support them." She said with exasperation, her eyes glittering slightly.

I knew they did, but I'd never been able to get Iroha to understand the bond the Yukino, Yui and I shared. Not at school and certainly not now, it was something that just ours, that had never been hers. Heck, I didn't understand to be honest, it sounded like some stupid fairy tale mumbo jumbo and probably was. But since seeing them again, for the first time in years I felt whole again, I still wondered if they felt the same or if it was only me going crazy?

Iroha looked like she was readying for another fight, but I didn't have the energy to go through another loop of that argument. So I just smiled an agreement and steered the conversation into the vagaries of small talk. But that slowly petered out, the uncomfortable silence filled by the occasional noises from Iroha's phone and the background murmur of the television. Though my armchair and her sofa were only a few feet apart, it felt suddenly like a few miles. I knew I should reach out and pull her back or jump up and go to her. But right then I didn't want to, it wasn't like I hated her, I just felt like I didn't care enough to call her back. We sat there for a while on our own in the same room, until some unknown calling took us up to bed. I went through the motions of kissing her goodnight, but soon we sleeping with our backs to each other, a great chasm forming between us.

I awoke to the confusing sight of Homura's face dozing on the other pillow. Iroha it seemed had already left and a glance at the alarm clock said I was already late getting Homura ready for playgroup. After a rushed wash, change and breakfast, we were out the door. Homura was giggling with excitement as we hurtled through the streets, dodging past the slow to meet the irritated old woman that ran the group.

A while later I was home again, with Homura hopefully happily playing I decided it was best to get ready for meeting with Yukino later. I took a long shower, followed by careful shave and fussy comb. I had just finished donning something smart and was reaching for a little used bottle of aftershave when I realised what I was doing. Iroha's words of 'strictly business' echoed in my head as I put the bottle down unused, tweaking my clothes and hair to look a little more casual. I headed downstairs and gave my article one final check through before uploading to a memory stick.

A walk and a train ride later I was approaching the café where we had arranged to meet, when my phoned buzzed in a message. I worried it was Iroha, coming home early to wonder where I was, but it was Yukino saying that she was under a deluge of work and if I could come up to her office. Approaching the office building's grand entrance an enormous security guard blocked my path, I explained that I was here to see Yukinoshita Yukino and he looked at me with a disbelieving smile. I insisted and with a sigh he went to his desk and phoned her office, his smile turned to fear as he shrank from the phone. It seemed Yukino wasn't pleased at the interruption and the guard hurriedly led me to the elevator, glancing at me with a puzzled look. Once I'd reached the top floor a harassed looking secretary met me and led me past curious employees to the door to Yukino's office.

As I entered the temperature seemed to drop a few degrees, behind her desk Yukino sat like an ice queen on her throne. A terrified intern glanced at me with wide eyes, hurriedly taking notes as Yukino gave commands. Yukino gave me a slight smile and with a flick of her long fingers, Yukino sent the intern scurrying out the door. As she watched the door close with a smooth click, Yukino melted into her grand leather office chair with a relieved sigh.

"Sorry about that Hikigaya, I swear my sister hires the most incompetent of staff just to test me." Yukino said with a weary smile as she stretched with cat like grace. My eyes rapidly scanned the grey winter sky outside the massive window, trying not to notice Yukino's long legs as she stretched them out alongside her desk. The words 'strictly business' echoing again as I tried my hardest not to look at the way her silky black stockings sculpted her leg muscles as kicked off her shoes. Obviously I hadn't been as surreptitious as I thought, as spots of red appeared on Yukino's cheeks as she coughed politely and she smoothly stood up.

"Would you like some tea Hikigaya?" Yukino asked with a friendly smile as she walked over to a fancy looking tea set. As she straightened out her sleek business suit and brushed her knee length skirt, I gave a flustered "yes" and watched her delicately brew some tea. As the water boiled she reached inside her expensive looking leather handbag and pulled out a small battered Tupperware container. Inside was a thin chocolate coated cookies, she arranged them with considerable care onto a small plate in a spiral pattern. I sat down on the chair in front of her desk, gingerly accepting the delicate china teacup and politely taking a couple of the cookies. As Yukino smiled warmly, I struggled not to laugh at the contrast between the Queen of the North of a few minutes ago and the maid of the summer in front of me. It would have blown the minds of her staff to see her like this, but for me it was nice to see a glimpse of the real Yukino again.

The office phone rang and irritably Yukino answered it, barking some orders to some poor peon and with another sigh dropped it back its cradle and sipping her tea. As watched this I nibbled the cookies and a wave of nostalgia hit me as the sweet taste of Yukino's home cooking filled my mouth. I opened my eyes from the blissful memory and had to laugh at the nervously expectant look in her eyes. "They're delicious Yukino, you can relax now it's not like it's Valentine's Day."

Her expression turned to mortification as she hid her red face in her hands, "Oh god, of all things you had to remember that."

"It's alright," I said with a laugh through crunching cookies, "you gave them to me in the end and these are even tastier anyway."

"I'd like to think I'd improved over the last few years," said Yukino with pride as her blush faded, then suddenly a mischievous edge came to her smile. I immediately went on high alert as she continued in a sadistic tone her wide eyes fixed on me. "But the question is Hikigaya, can you search deep down into that twisted heart of yours and tell me are they, 'genuine?' You know really truly, and utterly 'genuine'?"

I flinched as that word bore into me, hearing it always made me cringe no matter the context and Yukino knew it. I tried to think of a retort or counter, but I had nothing as Yukino looked at me her malevolent smile making her look like she was about to laugh like a anime villainess. Instead her laugh had a melancholy edge as she looked at a cookie that she spun through her fingers, "its funny how those things that seemed so important back then, seem so silly now. Here we remembering almost fondly times that were filled with pain and hardship."

"I guess it is just part of growing up," I said with a philosophical shrug. "We were still very much children back then, even though we thought we were adults."

"Sometimes it feels like we're still running around pretending to be adults now," Yukino said staring out at the rain flecked glass. "Dodging our responsibilities, taking an easy route rather than facing it head on." There was a knock at the door and a timid face, peered in and asked her boss about the location of some reports. Without pausing to think, Yukino answered with exasperated tone and the worker shot off with a frantic apology.

"Yukino," I said sympathetically once they had gone, "You already deal with so much between this place and all your charity stuff, no one expects any more out of you. It's quite clear you do more than your fair share here and I'm sure it's even worse at the Community Centre."

"That's not the point, Hikigaya!" she shouted suddenly with frustration, "All this is just irritating. There are things that are far more important, that I should be dealing with, that I should have dealt with long ago. But I keep putting them off because..." The phone rang again and I jumped back as Yukino slammed her delicate fist on to the 'hold' button.

Yukino used the moment to calm herself, looking a little embarrassed at the outburst. "Sorry, about that Hikigaya," She said taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. "Look it can't have escaped even your notice that Yui is in a bad way. She pretends to be happy with the children, but there's this look in her eyes so empty it's heart-breaking." I nodded in agreement, when Yui was with Homura there was a melancholy about her, even though she tried to hide it. I'd wanted to ask if she was okay, but I felt sure she'd deny it or brush it off as something trivial.

"The worst part about it is that I've ignored it," continued Yukino with a slight quaver. I have been practically in the next room to her every time I go to the Community Centre and yet I did nothing. I know she's hurting and every time I see her I think I going to ask her, but every time I get scared. I don't know what I'm scared of; that she'll blank me, that she'll be angry or that she'll burst into tears. There's so much I've wanted to talk to her about, yet I'm so scared of everything exploding out of me. That I've run away and left her to suffer." Yukino made a choked cough and I realised that behind the shield of her long black hair, she was crying.

I reached out my hand to her across the desk, but she pulled hers away and looked directly at me with red eyes, "Then there's you too, I'm sorry to say this but the other night is not the first time I've seen Iroha, seen her…" Yukino's stuttered as she searched for the right phrase. "…Acting like that and I never did anything to stop her or to tell you about it. All because I was too scared to face what might happen." She buried her face in her hands and started to shake as emotions poured out of her.

As tenderly as I could I said, "Don't think I don't feel the same, It's not like I don't feel guilty about abandoning you two myself. When I heard about your mother, I was desperate to make sure you were all right, but I was worried that coming back into your life right then would only make things worse."

Yukino looked up with a slight smile, her eyes still filled with tears. "Thank you for thinking of me, it wasn't easy when mother, retired. Though you're probably right, having you there would have been too much for me. I'd just ended up screaming at you or doing something else that we'd both ended up regretting."

"You see, there's no reason to beat yourself up about this I'm sure Yui was just as scared as you are," I said in attempt to reassure her. "As for me, most likely I would have told you that you were mistaken and Iroha would have shouted at you to mind your own business." I took a deep breath as I realised this was about the best time to ask what I had come here to ask. Yukino looked up at me, concerned at the serious look on my face as I said. "Okay I know this isn't going to pleasant, but can you tell me exactly what happened between Iroha and Hayato the other night?"

Yukino's face looked stricken and she stammered, "I'm not sure I am the best person to ask. I had a few drinks myself and I was really upset at it all, so I can't really give you the clear account that you want."

"It's alright, I wasn't expecting you to, but according to Iroha. On that night Hayato and her were just chatting, when Yumiko saw them and went crazy," I said with a sigh, "but it's clear that's not what happened."

Yukino pondered her answer for a while staring at her empty tea cup, then said, "Okay, though don't get angry if you don't like what you hear." I nodded in agreement as Yukino took a deep breath and answered. "The party was starting to get a bit rowdy, led by Iroha who already had a few too many drinks. At some point she managed to corner Hayato and was well, flirting with him so hard that she was practically on top of him. I was livid and I was about to storm over, when Yumiko got there first. I've never seen her so angry before, she was screaming at the pair of them and dragged Iroha off him by her hair, before slapping her so hard that the whole place heard it."

"How was Hayato with all this?" I asked in a low calm voice.

"He was terrified to be honest, he had been trying his best to politely escape from Iroha, but she had him trapped like a frightened animal." Yukino said trying to keep her voice level, "if anything he seemed relieved when Yumiko arrived and pulled him out of the room. Look you don't worry Hikigaya, you've nothing to fear from him."

"I'm not afraid of Hayato," I said with a dry laugh, "I've known for a long time he has little to no interest in Iroha, but she has never accepted it." Frankly Hayato had my sympathies, Iroha could get very aggressive when she was in the mood, her passion could be both scary and exciting in equal measure.

"Dare I ask, but how are things between you and Iroha at the moment?" Asked Yukino with trepidation.

"They're a bit strained," I sighed with understatement, "though she's more concerned about me seeing you and Yui, than Hayato."

"And your response was to come here and see me," Yukino said with a laugh as she rolled her eyes. "You're not getting any smarter are you, Hikigaya."

I sighed and said, "Well I needed to ask you about Iroha in person, I needed to get things straight in my head about the whole issue. Also I…" Yukino's cell phone rang and she glared at her handbag until it stopped. "I never get a moments peace," she said with tired eyes, "please continue Hikigaya."

"Well I'm also worried about Yui." I said cautiously worried that Yukino would start crying again.

Yukino gritted her teeth, trying to keep herself calm and asked, "In what way?"

I took a moment to phrase it right and said, "I'm worried she maybe reading too much into us going to college together." I said with a furrowed brow.

"You're definitely going?" Yukino asked with an air that demanded I was.

"Yes, it feels like the right thing to do for me right now, though Iroha would rather I went and got a job, so I'd have to see how can balance the time." I said, feeling uncomfortable under the gaze of woman that fielded an international company and two charities with relative ease.

"I'm glad you're serious about college and as much as hate to agree with her, Iroha is right about you working." Said Yukino with an authoritative air. "You know I could probably pull some strings here and find you work, it would be nice to have someone here I know can get a job done."

"I appreciate the offer," I said gratefully, "but somehow I don't think Iroha would like the idea of me working for you, I'm not sure any wage would beat her grudge."

"That's true," siad Yukino dryly, though her eyes had a hint of disappointment. "Still consider the offer always open."

I thanked her again and Yukino idly considered the rain before continuing with a sigh. "As for Yui, I think she's nervous about taking this step in her life. I am hoping college is a sign of her emerging out from the dark place she's been lost in. It's possible that she's looking to you for courage, I know it's a lot to ask, but please don't fail her."

"I don't plan too" I said with sigh as the seriousness of her gaze made looking at floor, "I just don't want to end up hurting her or you for that matter, ever again."

Yukino smiled warmly, the hint of tears again on her eyes, "I'm glad to hear you say that, but we aren't delicate flowers Hikigaya, we'll be fine."

"I wasn't saying you were," I said with some irritation. "It's just from what Saki said the other day, it seems like Yui has been through hell and I so wanted to help her without making it worse."

"I think we all have to learn that we have to take that risk of hurting one another, if we are to stand a chance of fixing the bond between us." Yukino said fidgeting with her fingers, "Which includes you, Hikigaya. I know it's difficult, but you have to tell me and Yui if you're okay too, there's no need for you to be the lone hero swooping in to save the day."

I met Yukino's smile, but I wasn't sure there was any way that her or Yui could help me with Iroha. Telling them the full extent of how I felt about Iroha would be too much of a burden on them and I wasn't sure I knew how I felt about her anyway. An awkward silence descended and Yukino looked worried, scared she had said the wrong thing. She searched the room looking for a change in subject and asked uncertainly "So you saw Saki?"

A little taken aback at the change I stammered, "Yeah, Homura and I went to the fair at the Community Centre the other day, Yui painted Homura's face and Saki pulled me aside to have a word with me about Yui."

"Oh," said Yukino surprised, "I was only upstairs dealing with paperwork, if I had known I would have come down."

"Yui thought you'd gone home, so I didn't check," I replied with a shrug as another awkward silence started to fall. To jump in the void I quickly took my phone out, opening up some pictures of Homura as a tiger. "Yui did an amazingly job with Homura, she absolutely loved having her face painted and it really cheered her up."

Yukino peered in closely at a picture a roaring Homura and suddenly burst out laughing. I was stunned by the how loudly she laughed, like a whole load of pent up energy burst out of her at once. Even in the good times it was rare to hear her laugh like that and it was so long that it was joy to hear.

"It's probably a good thing I didn't see her," she said wiping away a tear. "I might have had to steal her away and put her in my cat sanctuary." Boyed by good spirits, she excitedly grabbed her own cell phone and opened up some pictures, flicking through them rapidly. I couldn't help but laugh at the pictures of a grinning Yukino with a wide variety of cats. Though her happy expression stayed the same, the expressions on the various cats varied from contentment, to indifference to outright alarm.

"Do you have a cat Hikigaya, my sanctuary has plenty that would love your home?" She asked cheerfully.

I was amused at how Yukino referred to long standing Chiba Cat Sanctuary as 'her sanctuary.' Though I wondered if it was now a sanctuary for her, as much as it was for the unwanted felines of Chiba. I had to decline though, "No, Iroha's not keen on cats," I said as Yukino gave me look that spelled her displeasure. "Mainly after Kamakura stole her chicken one Christmas at my parent's house."

Yukino burst out laughing again at the mental image, which was probably only half as funny as it was at the time. The sight of an outraged Iroha hurling curses at the elderly cat trotting off with his tail held high, had nearly burst the guts of the entire Hikigaya household.

The mood was broken by the office phone ringing again, with a sigh Yukino answered it. After a brief conversation, she put the phone with a bigger sigh. "Looks like it's time to get back to work."

I glanced at the time, realising we had talked well beyond her lunch break and I was going to have to rush to pick up Homura. I stood and thanked Yukino.

"No, it's me who should be thanking you," Yukino said with a slight flush to her cheeks, "I guess I needed this talk even more than I thought."

I smiled back, "I want to have a proper talk with Yui, and it would mean a lot to me, if you could be there to support her."

"It'll be fine Hikigaya," she said reassuringly, "I'll try and talk with her, see if she wants to arrange something, then let you know."

I started to leave, then as I put my phone in my coat pocket I heard it clatter against something. With sudden recollection I fished out the memory stick and handed it to a puzzled Yukino trying to hide my embarrassment. "There's the article for you, sorry I almost forgot it."

She'd clearly forgotten about it too as the purpose of my visit suddenly popped back in her head, "thanks Hikigaya," she laughed. "Just don't take so long on the next one, I've got some ideas for some other features for you to write about."

I gave her look that didn't look enthralled at the thought of more work, but thanked her again anyway. Heading for the door, I looked back to see her wave with a shy smile and I walked straight into a person crouched with their ear against the door.

"Sorry," I grunted as Yukino's sister Haruno straightened herself up, trying to look nonchalant as she put her fingers through her hair with a movie star smile.

"Ah ha," she laughed poking me in the chest. "I thought it was your voice Hikigaya. I was a little worried about reports of a sinister looking man in my sister's office, then even more worried to hear her laughing in there, I think she's scared the staff half to death."

As I looked out at the sea of faces looking up from their desks, I could see a mixture of curiosity, concern and fear as they whispered to each other. Behind me I heard Yukino say in a cool tone. "Do you actually want something sister or are you just here to spread gossip?"

"Ahh there's the sister I know," Haruno laughed and slid past me, touched my shoulder as she went. Ever so quietly she whispered, "Thank you for doing that Hikigaya," with a tiny heart felt smile that vanished as soon as appeared. The office door closed behind me and I could hear their muffled voices as the huge security guard glared at me to hurry up and leave.

Leaving the offices, I headed straight to Homura's playgroup only arriving a little late to an irate teacher and a distraught daughter. I apologised profusely to both of them and Homura sulked most of the way home, until I bought her some sweets which reduced her sulk to a pout. It was another late night for Iroha, Homura was already fast asleep by the time she got in and it wasn't long till the exhausted Iroha was asleep too.

The days turned to weeks as Christmas came and went. The traditional bucket of chicken over at my parents was a jovial affair for us, but Iroha seemed tired and subdued. Not caring when the now nearly blind and toothless Kamakura limped off with a drumstick. It wasn't until the following week that I saw any sort of life in her as we visited a shrine to welcome in the New Year.

Wrapped up against the bitter early morning air, Homura and I were stood with Iroha and her parents watching the sun rise. Homura was leaning heavily against me half asleep as Iroha clung to my other arm, but there was no warmth to her embrace and it felt more like a formality to please her parents. As we wandered about the site, I saw Yui in the distance trying to herd a bunch of tired children around with the aid Saki and a few other volunteers from the Community Centre. I admired the way the pale morning sunlight lit her big smile as we drew closer, Yui must have sensed my gaze as she turned the smile on me and gave a little wave. The wave froze in mid sweep as I suddenly felt Iroha pull my arm tight as if laying claim, I glanced to my side and saw a grim snarl on Iroha's face. Her expression turned to a look a triumph as Yui's smile faded and she turned around to pretend to fuss over another child.

Annoyed I started to walk over to Yui, but Iroha glared at me and yanked me hard to the side, forcing me down a different path, trying to look casual in front of her confused parents. She suddenly picked up Homura, saying something vague to them about Homura being tired and needing to go to home. I glanced back at Yui, who was watching us with an anxious expression, but I chose to follow Iroha. Homura's frightened face looking back over her mother's shoulder, making the decision for me.

Iroha's mood didn't improve when we got home and she flicked through a couple of New Year's cards that had come in the post. I never had the chance to read them, but the rage on Iroha's face told me everything as she ripped them to shreds. Homura, terrified by the almost demonic look on her mother's face shot upstairs and hid in her bedroom, a distressing whimpering sound coming from beneath her blankets. Iroha, tears of rage in her eyes, stamped up the stairs and stormed into our bedroom, slamming the door behind her with a crash. I stood there in a daze trying to wrap my head around what had just happened, I picked up a few pieces of the ripped cards, but they were too far gone to be legible. With heavy feet I too headed upstairs, but left our door closed and went into Homura's room to cuddle her till she fell into a fitful sleep.

Over the next few weeks Iroha's mood failed to improve, despite any reassurances I gave, she either blanked me, was short or glared at me with what I nicknamed the 'Iroha Beam.' The few times she did try to talk to me, seemed to always coincide with when I was in the middle of writing. Then any response I gave was irritable from the break in my concentration and would usually lead to more arguments or even longer silences.

The problems weren't just between Iroha and I, Homura's mood and behaviour worsened as ours did. She was regularly wakened by nightmares and occasional lead to her wetting the bed. She often had tantrums at the slightest upset and had taken to drawing on the walls of her bedroom. Every time I tried to talk to Iroha about it, she'd be too tired or would write it off as just a phase. Blaming me, the television or the upcoming start of school.

Time flicked past quicker than I realised as the days began to blur into each other, the plan for Yui, Yukino and I to meet up seemed to be long forgotten as I heard nothing from them. I sent off the application for the college course without much enthusiasm, but felt I should if only for Yui's sake. The April that had seemed so far away, suddenly bore down on me like an express train as struggled to get things ready with little help from Iroha. As the first day of school approached, Homura became increasingly unsettled as she switched between fear and excitement at moment's notice. I knew the only way for her to have a good start was to sort things out between Iroha and I, but that proved easier said than done. In the end it took arranging for Homura to be at Iroha's parents on one of Iroha's rare free days, where I locked us in the bedroom one morning and said to my still sleepy wife.

"We need to talk."

 _[Author's Note: Hello everyone, I hope you had a better Christmas and New Years than these guys. Hope are all looking forward to 2016 and any sign of Oregairu/SNAFU Chapter 12 or Season 3 it brings. As always thank you for the reviews and don't hesitate to post your thoughts on this chapter, positive or negative. I do take them on board and they should hopefully lead to a better story overall. Thanks again and have a genuine 2016.]_


	4. Chapter 4

**My After Story SNAFU**

 **Chapter 4**

"We need to talk."

There was silence as Iroha looked at me with a confused expression on her cutely sleepy features. That moment was broken as a mocking smile split her face and she started to laugh.

"You want to talk, now you want to talk," sneered Iroha. "This kind of affirmative action is totally unlike you Hachiman, are you trying to turn me on?" She flung back the blanket revealing her naked form, still sensuous despite my increasing irritation. As my chain of thought broke, Iroha laughed again, "I swear that's the only part of your brain that works."

Trying to wrestle back control of the situation, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and growled. "Well if you weren't so busy laughing your arse off, you might have noticed our marriage is a bit fucked."

"Our marriage?" said Iroha incredulously. "Our marriage is the joke I'm laughing at; I was just waiting to see if ever cared enough to notice."

"Waiting, I've been trying to get through to for ages," I snapped. "But you're always busy, too tired or not in the mood."

"Well I see your view of the quality of our marriage doesn't extend beyond the bedroom, I'm surprised you aren't complaining that I always have a headache too," she scowled rubbing her temples, "because trust me you give me plenty."

"Ha ha," I sneered, "you know I was talking about you always being too tired to discuss it.

"Well forgive me if my work leaves me shattered at the end of the day," cried Iroha. "It's not like I haven't tried to talk to you about this myself, but your always too busy working on tripe for your precious Yukino."

"Don't drag her in to this," I snapped, "neither her or Yui have anything to with our marriage."

"Really Hachiman," she said with astonishment. "They have everything to with this mess, we were fine until you brought that idiotic pair back into our lives."

"I don't see why you have such an issue with me having them as friends, because that's all they are?" I demanded.

"But they're not just friends are they, all they have to say is, 'jump' and you say, 'how high?" Iroha said with a sigh. "I have spent years pulling my hair out, trying to get you to sort your life out. Then suddenly they come along and you're writing again or going to college, why wouldn't you do that for me?"

"Maybe because they to motivate me in a positive way, rather just constantly nagging." I said with a roll of my eyes.

"Nagging!" Iroha screeched, "is that how you see our marriage?" She clutched her hands together and made puppy eyes before sneering, "oh poor Hachiman the hen pecked husband, I bet those two fools absolutely lapped up that sob story. Really I don't think I ask much of you considering the long hours I work, so that you can laze around here."

"Yeah long hours throwing yourself over Hayato and fuck knows who else." I said with a glare.

She returned the glare and snarled at me like an angry tiger, before slowly saying, "Nothing happened."

"Well if getting drunk and pinning Hayato to the wall till Yumiko ripped you off is nothing. Then I don't see why you get so worked up about me talking with Yui and Yukino," I spat back.

Iroha blazed with fury, "Really, I'm meant to believe you and Yukino just had a nice chat in her office or that you're just going to college with Yui to learn?" She caught the confused look on my face, grabbed my phone off the bedside table and hurled it at me saying. "You know Hachiman, if you're going to cheat, at least have the intelligence to delete the messages from your damn phone."

I caught my phone and slammed it into my pocket it as I proffered, "because I didn't have anything to hide. I guess that's what you do or will I find a load of messages from you 'colleagues' or 'clients?"

Iroha was silent for second, her heavy breathing the only sound in the room as her eyes glistened with angry tears. "I have never slept with anyone but you, ever!" She growled, "I had hoped you'd forgive for getting drunk with Hayato. That you'd forgive me for getting a little weak at the knees with someone who is twice the man you'll ever be."

She was across the room and up in my face spitting, "but no instead I get called a slut, a bitch by my own damn husband. You know Hachiman you want to see a real slut; you should see what you're pretty pink princess has been up to?" She grabbed her phone and started tapping before stopping at the anger in my face. "Or maybe you'd like know about how that stuck up bitch, leads guys on then cast them aside when she's bored of them."

I looked straight into her spite filled eyes, hating the glee I saw as she spun her tales. I didn't care if they were true or not. I just hated that look as I shoved her back, knocking her phone out of her hand and yelled. "Will you just fucking leave them alone. I wanted to talk about us, our marriage and especially Homura. But no all you want to is bitch about those two and spread your jealous bullshit, that I'm so fed up of fucking hearing!"

Iroha laughed menacingly, "Oh now you're angry, no we see some passion from the great Hachiman. But it's not for me, no it's never for me. People can say all they want to me and you won't give a shit, but the minute I say something bad about them, oh then you do. I stood by you through thick and thin, even after all the horrible things they said about us back at school."

"It's not like I didn't say nasty things about them." I pointed out.

Iroha screamed with frustration, "stop fucking defending them. After all I've done for you, I'd thought you'd love me enough to get your respect. But no you don't and I don't think you ever will, sometimes I wonder if you ever did."

"Of course I do," I pleaded. "I've told you a thousand times you're more important than them."

"Really," she snapped, "because your actions say otherwise. I'm fed up with your pathetic excuses and vague promises, you really are not going to let them go are you?"

"I'll let them go, the same time you do," I growled. "You're the one that always makes a big deal out it, all because you can't get over your petty school girl jealousies."

"Oh fuck you, Hachiman. I don't see why I..." She paused in mid scream, her tear streaked eyes wide and blindly looked about the room. "Actually, you know what, I'm not going to."

Iroha moved stiffly her eyes staring blankly ahead as she wrenched a hold all bag down and began to shove her clothes into it.

"Hey, Iroha wait," I said in a panic. "We can still sort this out, there's no reason for you to leave."

She suddenly froze and turned her head slowly towards me with mad eyes. "For once you're right Hachiman, I have no reason to leave." She laughed manically and growled two inches from my face, "You do!"

She tipped her clothes out of the bag, then randomly tore mine out of drawers and cupboards, not caring what they were. I watched her bewildered, any attempt to stop her was ignored or shoved aside. Apparently satisfied, she wrenched the door open with enough force to rip the small bolt lock from its mounts and shoved me out onto the landing. She used the bulging bag as a buffer, forcing me back with hard shoves as I feebly protested.

"Why should I leave?" she screeched as her eyes blazed with insane fury. "This is my house, I paid for it, I pay the bills. You're just some arsehole who slouches on the couch all day, fails at the cleaning and cooks crap food."

I grabbed the bannister to stop myself from nearly tumbled backwards, as the murderous look in her eyes forced me down the stairs.

She shoved the bag into my arms and yanked open the front door. "There you go Hachiman, I'll send you the rest of your crap later," she snarled, "unless there's anything else you can't be without?"

My eyes glanced towards the computer, thinking of the work saved on it. Iroha's head snapped to where I'd looked and stormed over to my desk.

"Oh of course, there's no way you could leave without this." She laughed as she snatched up the photo of Yukino, Yui and I, then hurled it at me. There was a jab of pain as the corner of the frame struck my forehead, with clink of fracturing glass, which then clattered into the bag in my arms.

"Is that it, I think you've got everything that's important to you." She taunted as she got back in my face.

"For how long this be for?" I asked stupidly.

"How long, how long?" Iroha screamed at the top of her lungs. "Forever Hachiman, this is it, I've had enough of your shit. Go see those two fuckwits will put up with you now."

"What?" I blinked without comprehension.

"Divorce," she said sardonically. "Can you get that through your thick skull, I'm divorcing you Hachiman. Now get the fuck out of my house!"

She slammed the door, but I put my foot in the way and winced with pain as realised I had no shoes on. Still I demanded to know, "What about Homura?"

"Oh now you think of Homura," she laughed through the crack in door. "It's a little late to be thinking of how your actions might affect her. Don't you worry, I will look after her and do a far better job than you ever did. Now get out or I'll have the police drag you out!"

With an animal like yell, she opened the door then shoved me hard in the chest and I staggered backwards. The heavy bag messed up my balance and I tripped over the doorstep and landed hard on my arse with a jar of pain that shot up my spine. I caught a glimpse of a satisfied smile and the front door slammed shut to me forever.

I lay dazed on the front path, still trying to comprehend what had just happened to me. It was over, I knew deep down that there was no reconciling from this, even if I went on my knees and begged for forgiveness, there was no going back. I could feel tears welling up inside me, but they weren't for Iroha, they were from growing fear that she would take Homura away from me. I sat up, hugging my knees as I fought to control the emotions inside of me, anger and despair wanting to erupt like a volcano. Glancing up at the house, I saw a curtain flicker and decided there was no way in hell I was going to let Iroha see me sitting here crying like a frightened child. So I staggered to my feet with a much dignity as I could muster, took one last look at the house and walked away, feeling the intrusive eyes of my neighbours watching me go.

It was a beautiful clear morning for such grim events, but it was still bitterly cold and I hadn't had a chance to put my shoes or coat on before I left. Though at the moment I didn't care, the rage inside me was keeping me warm like internal reactor. I wandered aimlessly through the streets of Chiba, trying to decide what to do, thoughts and emotions bouncing around in my head like pachinko balls.

My first thought was to get Homura, but she was at Iroha's parents miles from here and there was no way I could get there before Iroha could call them to block my path. I could try to force my way in, but Iroha would definitely get the police involved and I could just kiss any chance of seeing my daughter again goodbye. The little boy inside me wanted to run back to my parents, to hear my mother comfort me and my father raise hell, but I was too ashamed to face them right now. I knew Yui or Yukino would put me up in a flash, but it felt like I'd only be proving Iroha right if I got them any more involved and that just angered me even more. That only really left my sister, she and her boyfriend wouldn't be happy about it, but I knew I wouldn't be turned away at least.

So I walked towards hers as stared at the blankly at the pavement each step in front of me. My mood turned darker as I thought about Iroha's words, picking at any holes or hypocrisies that I could find. I was sure she'd hardly mentioned me working before now, maybe every now and again, but nothing to say she was serious. I often got that as a house husband though, people never realised how much work went into looking after children and keeping a home. They always assumed that being at home, meant just lazing about all day watching TV. But even in my own head, my stupid whining was irritating. I could feel the eyes of millions of downtrodden housewives watching me and laughing at my pathetic complaints.

I'm sure Iroha's dream husband Hayato could have done all she asked. Held a job, cleaned the house and cared for the kids all on his own, without a twitch to that perfect smile. The laughter in my head came back as millions more single working mothers laughed in unison at my useless excuses. Well I guess Iroha would find out how hard it is without me, maybe it'd be her crawling back begging for forgiveness the stupid bitch.

I laughed at my own foolishness, she was way too proud to do that and face it Hayato was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to her office antics. She claimed she'd never been with anyone else, but could I believe her when she'd gone gaga so easily over that smug blonde moron. She had always been prepared to use whatever means necessary to get what she wanted, so it wasn't a stretch to think of her sleeping her way to the top. I could see them all, from young slick upstarts, to fat middle age men and wizened old codgers. All lining up to take their turn on my wife, so she could get that one promotion, the fucking slut. All of them, all sluts, using our weakness to sex to get their own way.

I groaned out loud and clutched at my skull, trying to shake the thoughts away. I hated thinking like this, I'd worked so hard to rid my mind of my misanthropic younger self and I wasn't going to let Iroha set me back now. I just had to keep my mind set on Homura, I couldn't let her lose her father, the image of her crying when I didn't come home was a spear to my heart. Iroha said she was going to be there for her, but could I rely on her to be there to cuddle her daughter when she'd hurt herself or had a nightmare. No I couldn't, Iroha would probably be too busy fu... No, not that again, I needed to stay focused.

My head was thumping with tension and a slow trickle of blood ran from the cut caused by the flying picture frame and a deep shudder went through me. I leant on a wall taking some deep breaths to clear my head and get my bearings. It was so cold, I could feel my bones icing up and my feet were sticking to the frosty concrete. I pulled a thick pair of socks from the bag and put them on, but I think I was too cold to properly warm back up. There was nothing warm amongst the other clothes, so I put on another t-shirt and hoped it would help. My teeth chattered noisily, as I rubbed my arms and I was damn glad my sister's place wasn't much further.

I tried to keep my mind on the future, in a few days Homura would be starting school, I had to be there. I'd gone over the plan for that day a thousand times in my head over the last few months, making sure we were all ready. Obviously those plans had been based on me being at home that morning, but at least I knew the time and place off by heart. If I kept myself focused on that I sure I could get through the next few days as I put together a plan of action.

I walked up to Komachi's small apartment, feeling far more tired than I should be and knocked on the door. There wasn't an immediate answer, I began to worry she was at work, but I heard muffled voices coming from within and soon enough the door opened. A guy in his mid-twenties answered the door, handsome in a casual way, I recognised him as my sister's current boyfriend, Takeo. I hid my dislike for the man, since I knew it was rather unjustified even if I thought he smiled too much. He wasn't smiling now though as the look of irritation quickly vanished as he asked, "Hachiman?" In a puzzled voice.

Who else did he think I was I thought, as I mentally added, 'being an idiot' to the reasons he wasn't good enough for Komachi. I was about to ask after, when she peeked around Takeo, hurriedly knotting her dressing gown.

"Hi bro, what are you doing here?" She asked with growing concern as she looked at my sorry state. Then she yelled, "Holy shit, she's kicked you out!" so suddenly that I flinched from the noise. I gave a mournful nod and my sister put a hand on my shoulder in comfort, then quickly snatched it back with a cry. "Wow, you are freezing, Hachiman, get inside."

Pulling me in, my sister ordered me under the kotatsu table in a bossy tone that sounded eerily like our mother. Drowning in the blessed warmth, I tried to get as much of me under the kotatsu's filament heater as possible, letting the heat seep into my bones like an old man.

Handing me some coffee, Komachi asked with a sigh, "Okay which one was it?"

"Which who?" I answered in confusion.

"Yui or Yukino, which one did you sleep with?" Komachi groaned pinching the bridge of her nose. "Please don't tell me it me it was both."

"I didn't sleep with either of them or anyone else," I pleaded. "Heck I'm not that stupid."

Komachi gave me a look that suspected I was, but breathed a sigh of relief, "Okay so what the hell did you do brother?"

I gave my sister a quick rundown of this morning, admittedly tweaking the truth to make me sound better, though from her expression Komachi read right through it.

"You don't half know how to fuck up brother," she sighed shaking her head.

"Hey, a little bit of sympathy please Sis," I sighed. " My marriage has ended, I've just been kicked out of my home and I bet she's dead set on taking Homura away from me."

My voice began to shake at the thought and Komachi's expression became more sympathetic. "I can't help you with Iroha or the house," she said tenderly before becoming determined and saying. "But I'll do everything I can to get you custody of Homura, there's no way she'll stop me from seeing my niece."

I smiled sincerely and thanked her as she asked, "have you spoken to mom and dad?"

"No," I replied shaking my head, "I wanted to have a proper grasp of the situation and some sort of plan, before breaking it to them."

"Okay, just don't wait too long," She said with concern. "Look we've got to go to work and won't be back till late, try and use the time to decide what you're going to do."

"Don't worry I will," I mumbled without much enthusiasm.

"I'm serious Hachiman," my sister said angrily. "I know you, you'll just mope around feeling sorry for yourself, otherwise. At least decide whether you're going to attempt to win Iroha back or focus on custody of Homura."

"I am serious," I snapped back, "This isn't exactly an easy decision."

"Just don't take too long," Komachi sighed, "the faster you act the better things will be for you."

"Trust me I know; you don't need to remind me." I growled.

"Good," Komachi said with a sympathetic smile. "Look there's coffee and food in the kitchen, you look like you could do with both."

I smiled back as best as I could, "Thanks for all this, I owe you big time."

"What's family for?" She shrugged with a smile.

I gave a cynical laugh, watching as she headed to the door with a wave.

Looking a little lost amongst the family drama Takeo gave me a big smile and said. "Don't worry mate, it'll be alright." I gave him a weak smile back and decided out of respect for my sister, not to punch the grin off his face.

With a final 'bye' they closed the front door and left me alone to be tormented by my thoughts. I felt so worn out, even at this early hour and it was so tempting to just fall asleep. Hoping that I would wake again to find it was all just a dream or that magical lights had made everything better. It was even more tempting to hunt around for a bottle of sake and drink myself into a stupor, never to return. But I refused to the guy who abandoned his daughter for the short lived comfort of bottle and pachinko machine. So I forced myself to my feet and gave into another vice, a fresh cup of coffee. Downing it with a light breakfast, I felt a bit more invigorated and sat down to ponder my lot.

I slipped out my phone, half hoping for a missed call, but there was nothing. Heading into the contacts my finger hovered over the option of calling Iroha, but I decided against it. Even if she did pick up, I was sure it would just lead straight into another argument. Komachi had asked me whether I wanted to reconcile with Iroha and as I sat there looking at her grinning photo in on my phone, I realised the answer was no.

It was strange, I felt like I should be feeling remorse or anger right now, but I didn't. If I thought about being without Homura, my insides twisted like they were being pierced by a drill, but for Iroha I didn't feel a thing. There was only the vague numbness of hollow void in my heart, like the residual love that another me had once felt. Maybe I could reconcile with Iroha for Homura's sake, pretend I still felt something for my wife to keep my daughter happy. But how long could I keep that up, for how many years could I perform the role of dutiful husband to keep everyone happy?

Presuming that Iroha wouldn't be doing the same, perhaps already had been for years and still Homura would no doubt know that something wasn't right. Arguments and long silences would only increase until we reached a point where we strangers, sleeping in the same bed. Homura had already been acting up in response to her parent's marital strife and that was unlikely to improve. The initial divorce period would be hard on Homura, there was no doubting that. I could try and soften the blow as much as I could, but it would leave a scar that Homura would always carry. I just hoped I could convince Iroha to handle this in way that was best for Homura, not what would hurt me the most.

I bounced smaller excuses to stay together, like how I would cope without a house or money, but I was sure I would find a way. Material issues felt so minor right now, I felt like I should be more concerned about them, but compared to my worries about Homura they were nothing. Granted I might have to swallow my pride and call in a few favours, but I would manage somehow, I'd have to if was to stand a chance of any kind of custody rights over Homura.

I sat staring out the window at the clouds drifting by, lost in constantly changing shapes, rethinking things over and over. But there was no escaping it, I had decided to agree to the divorce, possibly had before Iroha had even announced it. Part of me felt like I had made the decision too lightly, but I just couldn't find a good reason to stay together. Iroha had no reason to take me back, I had no desire to have her back and I was sure that eventually Homura would be better off with us apart eventually. Though it was going to be hard to deal with her tears while it happened, since I had always been a soft touch to my daughter's tears, which was probably why Iroha considered me a bad father.

Thinking about Homura made me sullen again, it was going to be a rough few days till she started school and I quickly checked their website to make sure I had the details right. I idly flicked through my phone, I wanted to talk to my mom, hear her maternal voice along with some stern advice from my father. But their health wasn't that great and I was worried that the possibility of not seeing their beloved granddaughter, would send them over the edge. Though not telling them would have the same effect, I just wanted to be able to assure them that they'd be able to see Homura first, before breaking the news.

I looked at Yui and Yukino's names on my phone, this was exactly the kind of situation we had talked about, when we had discussed being there for each other. I knew that they'd be over in a flash, no doubt with a ton of cookies. Yui with supportive words and bright smiles, whilst Yukino would immediately come up with some grand plan of action. But for the sake of Homura and the sake of my waistline I had to keep them out of this. I was worried that Iroha might use them against me if things got ugly in court, use any more contact with them as evidence of infidelity. No this why my mess and I had to man the fuck up and clean it up myself. I had a few days to get things in motion, so I could rise to the occasion and do my best.

A few hours later I had managed to have a few more cups of coffee, done the washing up and cleaned my sister's apartment up a bit. I looked at cat videos on my phone, stared out the window, then clutched my head and screamed. This was what Iroha had been talking about, I had a load of important stuff to get on with, but I was sitting here procrastinating away the time. With a deep breath I started researching divorce law and custody rights, but even the basic guides were mind boggling and my spirit crashed through the floor.

This is what I got for not paying attention and assuming that Iroha would just put up with my crap indefinitely. I'm sure that she'd given signs, big neon signs the size of buildings that flashed clues to my oblivious brain. The very brain that was now torturing me with the other signs I'd missed, that I'd been too far up my own arse wallowing in self-pity and misanthropy to see over the years. The image of Yui, looking so pretty in a yukata, a slight smile on her lips as fireworks bloomed around her. Then Yukino, an inch from my face, her breath on my lips as I looked into her deep dark eyes. Then so many others time after time, heck it had taken Iroha practically jumping on me, for me to get the hint. I wanted to curl up and die as images of my idiocy raced through my mind, but I had to get a grip, deal with now, before the chance was gone.

Right, first off I needed money. I felt I had to prove as much to myself as to Iroha or anyone else that I wasn't the waste of space she claimed. I sent off resumes and applications to a thousand companies and waited for the replies that never came. Yukino's offer rang in my mind, but I wanted to keep that till I had exhausted all other options, not that I had many. My meagre savings, wouldn't last long, so I'd probably end up borrowing from my parents no matter how much I hated the idea. It might also be worth checking in with Zamiokuza, he still owed me for the last bit of work, even if it wasn't much it could make a world of difference.

Feeling a little better with the beginnings of a plan, next step somewhere to live, I couldn't stay here for long. I could go back to my parents, but the very thought made my skin crawl, like I'd be somehow regressing back to child. Also my father had long ago turned my room into a study and there was no way he'd let me befoul the shrine that was Komachi's old room, only Homura had the privilege of sleeping there. I searched the property pages for the cheapest apartments that were vaguely near Homura's new school, there weren't many, but I bookmarked the potentials. Now that I felt like I had accomplished I sat fidgeting waiting for emails, constantly checking for any new jobs or homes, then fiddling with the wasteland that was my résumé _._ I'd find myself staring into nothing every now and again, then my bored mind would find a new way to put me down, so I strove to keep busy.

The days leading up to Homura's first day at school passed with agonising slowness, I wandered aimlessly around the streets of Chiba, handing in resumes to various bars and shops. But the staff looked unimpressed, I imagine they were wanting pretty young things, not a despondent looking man with rotten eyes. It was not going to be easy finding work, though my qualifications were fine, my recent experience was decidedly lacking since I couldn't really put house husband on my résumé and expect to be taken seriously.

Searching the street for any more potentials, I saw a shop of dubious repute, with a quick glance to check no one saw me, I entered the manga shop and slipped through the shelves to the counter. A huge mass of a man was leaning over the counter scribbling on a pile of notes with furious intensity, occasionally he'd make little laughs and self-congratulatory comments as he pondered the no doubt ridiculous plot he was creating. I watched him for a while and he eventually clocked my presence, leaning back in his creaking chair with stretch that made his belly pop out.

"Ahh my Lord Hachiman, what brings you to this fine establishment my good man," Zaimokuza chuckled as he stroked his sparse beard.

I sighed at his ridiculous pantomime and cut to the chase, "Look Zaimokuza, I'm in a bit of bind, so I was wondering if you could pay me for that last bit of editing I did for you. Also if you have any more work you could pay me for it would be really great."

Zaimokuza's smile faltered as a bead of sweat ran down his brow and his tone became more normal. "Now Hachiman, as you can see business exactly booming," he said sweeping his hand in the direction of the shelves where a few customers flicked through the stock. Before shouting, "especially when people use it as a library!"

The customers scuttled off like cockroaches towards the door, but cowered back in fear when a woman burst through it with an unsettling grin on her face.

"Argh 'tis mine nemesis," cried Zaimokuza over dramatically as he saw her. "Be gone foul demon, need I remind you are barred from this business."

The woman ignored him and surged up to me, her pale anaemic skin contrasted by the bright red of her glasses, as she drew an inch from my face. It took me a moment to recognise her, but the sound of that slightly crazed voice confirmed my suspicions.

"I thought it was you Hikigaya," said Ebina Hina, her eyes twitching excitedly at mine. "So is it true, are you and Iroha getting a divorce?"

"Madame Ebina, kindly lea..." started Zaimokuza, "...wait what, you're getting a divorce Hachiman, why in the hells didn't you say so?"

I ignored him and asked her in a slow irritated voice, "where did you hear that?"

My tone made her nervous and she stammered, "Iroha posted something about it online and you know, the gossip spread like wildfire."

I sighed, that was just like Iroha. Posting dramatic stuff like that online, so she could sit back to drink in all the sympathy and support she could. While making sure any possible allies I had would soon turn against me. To be honest, I'd much rather have kept it all quiet until things were official, but Iroha always liked to make the big statement and cause the most drama.

"So which one was it, which one spurred your passions so, to lure you away from your beloved wife?" Ebina asked as the energy came back into her voice, along with a bit of drool.

"Neither of them lured me away," I snarled, "It was nothing like that."

Ebina looked disappointed, "Oh really, I was so hoping for some tragic heart rending story of two husbands being caught together in passionate affair by Iroha and Yumiko." She started sniffing as her cheeks flushed and her eyes glittering. "Maybe that wasn't it, maybe Iroha found about a secret long distance affair with your favourite little tennis star. The tragic love of you two pining away from opposite sides of the Earth, longing for the day when you can be reunited."

Her eyes glazed over, lost in her fevered imaginings as mine rolled in their sockets, as I realised that once again I was surrounded by idiots.

"Damn it woman," cried Zaimokuza suddenly reaching for a box of tissues, "Don't start getting blood on my first editions again."

"No," I said through slow angry breaths as I glared through narrowed eyes to Ebina, "It was definitely nothing like that."

"Okay," she chuckled whilst dabbing at her nose with a tissue. "Sorry I got a little carried away, but just to sure, you and Iroha are getting divorced?"

"Yes" I sighed with exasperation, rolling my eyes at the trivialities of her gossip mongering. No doubt this conversation would soon be joining the online chatter as soon as Ebina got her phone out, probably with the spice of her own preferences added to it.

"See this is why I stick to 2D girls," said Zaimokuza with way too much pride as he pointed at Ebina. "These 3D girls are far too much trouble."

"That's only because you could never handle a three dimensional woman," Ebina sneered hands on hips.

"Not that there's much 3D about you Ebina," Zaimokuza smiled looking at her small chest with hungry eyes.

"Well you're getting way too 3D," she snapped back with a slight flush in her cheeks as she poked his gut with a thin finger.

"Oh get a room you two," I sighed wearily, as they both made disgusted faces and hopped away from each other. "Look is there anything you can give me, Zaimokuza?"

"As I am now helping out a fellow bachelor I guess I could delve into my private funds, as for work you can get started on this if you want." Zaimokuza handed me the big stack of paper the I assumed was a manuscript and I tucked it reluctantly into my bag. He then rummaged around in a small tin and pulled out a small roll of money and handed it to me with a smile. It was smaller than I'd hoped, but I didn't have the luxury of being picky.

"What's all this, for what services are you being paid for Hikigaya?" asked Ebina with a mischievous snigger.

"He does a little editing and proof reading for my magnum opus," said Zaimokuza with pompous dignity. Though I wouldn't call his tale of buxom, scantily clad warrior maidens a magnum opus by a long shot, but it still had enough boobs and implied yuri to make a small profit.

"Is that so," Ebina snorted in derision before becoming thoughtful. "Actually Hachiman, could you have a look through mine, my fans are hungry for next issue and I haven't the time to check it through. Don't worry I'd pay you too of course, more than him as well, since I have a much bigger readership."

She gave a superior smile to Zamiokuza, who scowled back. But my heart only sank, I knew full well what kind of stuff she wrote, but I had no choice but to agree. "Okay," I groaned, "though I sometimes feel like I should be getting royalties too." Glancing at one of her works that was propped up in the local authors section, one of the boys kissing on the cover looking very familiar.

Ebina laughed and we swapped email addresses, "I'll send you something when I get home, I'm so happy with it, it's full of passion, romance and tragedy..." She trailed off into her rotten imagination as a drop of blood splattered on the counter, Zaimokuza shrieked at her and they started arguing again. Desperate to get out of that madhouse, I quickly thanked them both and left them to it, glad to be outside in the fresh air again.

I headed back to my sister's apartment, passing what I guess was now Iroha's house, hoping to catch a glimpse of Homura, but there was no one home. This had been the longest I had been away from her since she was born and it was harder than I could have possibly imagined. I knew deep down that Iroha was a very competent mother, but that didn't help my sanity in the slightest. My imagination would run wild, thinking of every conceivable accident, illness or crime that could befall her in my absence. I consoled myself in the knowledge that tomorrow was Homura's first day at school, I planned to be there bright and early to make sure I was there to greet her. It was risky, but there was no way I was going to miss it, plus I wanted to at least try and talk to Iroha about what she planned to do. I went to sleep early on my sister's floor, as always wrapping my head in pillow against the chance of the kind of noises that no brother should ever hear.

After a fitful sleep my alarm woke me early, with bleary eyes I showered and shaved, trying to make myself as presentable as possible. My clothing choice was limited, but I found the smartest items that I had, combined with Takeo's old jacket and a spare pair of his shoes. My heart felt heavy, as I knew that at home, Iroha was probably the finishing touches to Homura's uniform, making her look as adorable as possible and I was missing all of it. I wondered if I was even more scared of today than Homura as a sleepy Komachi gave me a hug for luck, trying to hide her amusement at my nervousness.

I waved goodbye and walked through the streets of Chiba, mentally rehearsing everything into a plan that would not doubt fall apart instantly. It felt much warmer today, as the cherry blossom announced that spring was in full swing. People marvelled at the trees, but I was to lost in my thoughts to really appreciate them. If anything I had always seen them as a melancholy sight, filled with memories and the pain of loss, even if I couldn't remember why.

Eventually I arrived at the school, more cherry trees screened a fairly ordinary school building with parents, children and staff milling about outside waiting for the chimes. I searched around, but couldn't see Homura, Iroha or her parents. Panic started to set in as my heart raced, crazy thoughts filling my mind. Had I got the school wrong, had Iroha changed things to mess with me or had some disaster befallen them.

I searched around again and glanced at my watch, they should be here by now. The other parents were starting to give me uncomfortable looks, keeping their children at a safe distance. While a muscular gym teacher watched the rotten eyed, crazy looking lonesome man with suspicion. I was really starting to freak out, with sweat pouring down and the urge to bolt increasing, when I saw them.

Homura marched ahead with determined face, looking insanely adorable in her little sailor style uniform. Behind her Iroha followed at a trot, glancing about warily and her parents struggling to keep up at the rear. They saw me and Iroha tried to grab Homura, but she was too slow. The cry of "Daddy" echoed across the school yard and filled my heart with joy as my daughter hurtled towards me.

I swept her into my arms and hugged her tight, tears filling my eyes, feeling like they could wash all the rottenness away. I was so lost in the moment, that I didn't even feel the first strikes, as tiny jabs of pain blossomed all over me. It was Homura, her face screwed up in rage as she punched my chest and head so rapidly, I wondered if I'd sired a Stand user. As she swayed violently with each hit, I struggled to stop her from falling from my arms. Enduring the battering as long as could until she eventually tired, each fist slowing, till she eventually collapsed against my chest. I held her close as she breathed heavily against me and sobbed. I looked about my head feeling a little woozy and saw Iroha covering her mouth to hide her laughter, whilst everyone else looked on in puzzled horror.

"Why won't you come home daddy," she forced out angrily between sobs.

I was at a loss for words and couldn't think of a way to explain it that she would understand. With a sigh I pulled the first bit of crap out of my head and said softly, "things have happened between mommy and daddy that are very complicated. Just know that we both love you dearly and that you haven't done anything wrong." It sounded so cheesy and pathetic in my ears and Homura did not look happy with my answer.

"Mommy said you are a bad man and called you bad words," Homura mumbled grumpily.

"I imagine she did and I guess I deserve them," I sighed with a glance at Iroha who was watching intently. I certainly didn't feel like a good guy after seeing how much I had upset my cherished daughter. "I sorry Homura, I promise I'll try to be good guy from now on."

"Will you come home?" she asked quietly.

"I'm sorry, I can't," I said, "but soon you'll have two homes, two bedrooms and two loads of toys." My upbeat words felt as empty as they no doubt sounded and Homura wasn't impressed.

"But I don't want that, I want you to come home," she shouted and thumped my chest.

"I know you do, but some things just can't happen. I promise I will come to see you every day before and after school until I can find a new for the two of us." I said, trying to cheer her up as the school chimes sounded and parents began to wave tearful goodbyes to their children.

"Homura, it's time for you to start school," I tried to say cheerfully. "So dry your tears, you don't want your classmates to see you've been crying." She sniffed as I wiped her eyes and nose on my sleeve, grumbling as I tried to tidy her up. With a final hug, I lowered her to the ground and said. "Now give me a big smile, then go say goodbye to mommy, grandpa and grandma."

She gave me a half-hearted smile and reluctantly ran off to them. Iroha glared at me whilst she straightened out Homura's uniform as well and gave her a wipe down with a tissue. After a round of hugs, Iroha gave our daughter a light push in the direction of the school doors. Homura waved back at us she scampered in and the teachers ushered her through the dark doors, to start her new school life.

I watched the doors for a while for any further sign of her, then eventually turned to address Iroha. Her father's eyes narrowed as he moved in front to protect her, but she waved him away with hand and readied herself. After seeing Homura so upset, I wanted to just drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness, but I was dead sure it would not make things any better for any of us. Iroha looked ready to launch into a tirade, but I cut her off before she could speak. "Iroha, if you're serious about this divorce, for Homura's sake can you get things sorted as soon as possible." My voice was flat and dead, as I looked without feeling at Iroha.

Her face seemed to struggling with what emotion it wanted to show and eventually she looked away, saying in an equally flat tone. "Very well Hachiman, I've already been working on the proceedings and I'll have them with you soon."

"Good" I said with a nod and walked away, leaving her to think whatever she wanted of me. I walked around a few corners until I was truly alone and collapsed into a pile of misery.

She hated me, my own daughter despised me, I sat with my head between my knees, staring at the cracked tarmac as that fact sunk in. She had been cross before, gotten grumpy and had many a tantrum. But she'd never struck me before and certainly never raged like a wild animal in my arms. Homura hated me for abandoning her, for putting my own petty desires ahead of her and now I had to accept my punishment.

It would be easy to blame Iroha for it, claim she'd turned my daughter against me, by making me the 'bad man.' But as spiteful and misogynistic thoughts rattled around my mind, I knew I had only myself to blame for hurting Homura. I had started the next chapter of her life, a day that should have been one of the happiest and most exciting days so far, with tears. All because I was selfish enough to but my own desires for a happy reunion, ahead of the confusion and pain she must have been going through.

I shook my head, watching a drop of water hit the floor as I realised it was a bad day for rain. I tried to think of how to make it up to Homura, I could shower her with toys and sweets, but even at her age she would find that demeaning. I knew what she really wanted, could I give it to her?

I sighed, no it was too late for that. Any relationship between Iroha and I now would be so big a joke that Iroha would probably die from laughing. I was convinced it would only exist in an attempt to keep Homura happy and it wouldn't. What she needed right now was for me to get my sorry arse up and start being a proper father. I tried to get up but everything felt too heavy, part of me wanted to stay here in this dirty side street and bury myself in my despair amongst the trash cans. But I had to convince myself to push forward and hope that one day Homura would forgive me for hurting her. With a pathetic attempt at a manly yell, I dragged myself to my feet, scaring an old man further down the street. I bowed an apology and shuffled off like a zombie, heading for an apartment I had hoped would be good for the two of us, though it looked like it would only be for one.

Looking around the place despondently, all I could think about was whether Homura would like it or not. I was determined to make sure that she'd have her own bedroom, preferably a large one to fill with toys and that she'd have somewhere safe to play outside. Most of these features were way outside my price bracket and this place was no good, as the one small bedroom was dark and damp. I thanked the sour faced landlady anyway and headed out for the next place, which wasn't any better.

My day carried on like this as I became more and more depressed by the apartments I saw, only one was half decent and that was little too far from Homura's school. A voice inside me told me not to bother, that Homura would never want to see my new home, let alone stay there. That I might as well give up and crawl into the nearest rat hole, along with all the other deadbeat dads. My phone beeped an alarm telling me it was nearly time for Homura to finish, I wasn't sure if I should go wait for her, but I still felt like I needed to see her.

I waited outside the school, watching the doors desperately for a sign of my daughter, jumping at any movement. Iroha watched me intently, then started as the children began to file out, hopping from foot to foot in order to try and spot her first. Homura eventually showed, with a cheerful smile that soon vanished as she saw her parents. She ran towards her mother and my heart sank, I was about to turn away, when Homura also turned. With eyes shut she dashed over to me, dithered for an agonising second, gave my knees a perfunctory hug and shot off. Iroha looked back at me as she walked off with Homura in her arms, my daughter's little face hidden against her mother's shoulder. As I watched them disappear into the distance, the world seemed greyer as her colours seeped out of my world and Homura's hatred was confirmed.

As walked blindly back to my sister's wanting just to sleep, but as I approached her front door I could hear voices on the other side and I groaned as recognised the voice complaining to my sister. I had specifically asked Komachi not to talk to her, but it seemed like she hadn't listened and was now under a ferocious verbal attack. I could deal with my mother right now, I couldn't deal with anyone right now, so I turned a walked off into the pointless world.

The next couple of days drifted past in a fog as the world I knew was lost to silence and despair. Every morning and afternoon I would see my daughter at school, she would give me a quick hug or a kiss and then vanish again. I'd tell myself each time would be the last time, but like an addict I would come back for more, unable to live without these two lights in my day. I ignored my phone, often turning it off for long stretches as there was no one I wanted to talk to, apart from my daughter. I stayed out late and woke early, to avoid talking to my sister, who would badger me about crap that I didn't listen to if she got the chance.

On a day that was apparently a Monday, a welcome email reminded me that course started later that day and I didn't care, only deciding to go out something to do. But before that was my ritual of seeing my little girl as she left school. So I sat in the school yard, feeling like a monster in Tokyo on the child sized bench. My heart was feeling empty now and I hung my head, watching ants work their way through the fallen blossom. Around me I could hear the murmur of parents and the shouts of excited children, but I ignored them as I cleared a path for the ants with the toe of my shoe.

A small shadow fell across them as a quiet voice said, "Daddy?"

I quickly put on a smile and looked up at nervous face and replied quietly "Hi sweet pea," I said quietly, "how was your day?"

Looking at first a little unsure Homura suddenly announced proudly, "We painted pictures!" As she waved some crumpled sheets of paper in front of my face with glee. The paper was splattered with paint in the modern style, I could only just about work out that it was Pan-San from the fact that it was black and white. The next picture showed a cartoony face, with a wonky smile and a splodge of black hair. It was the eyes that caught your attention though, Yukino would have bust a gut to see a portrait with such rotten eyes, that I had to laugh myself.

"It's for you Daddy." Homura pointed out with unnecessary exasperation.

"Thank you, Homura, I shall treasure it always." I said with a genuine smile this time as I ruffled her hair.

I could feel Iroha edging closer, she was probably worried I might try to run off with Homura and I had to admit it was tempting. Knowing time was short there was one thing that I had wanted to do all week, but it had never felt right. So now I popped out my phone and snapped a few pictures of Homura with her paintings, trying to capture the best of her smile. I chuckled inwardly as I noticed the paint splattered up the sleeves of her brand new uniform and did not envy Iroha having to scrub that out tonight. With a final hug and a kiss to the forehead I stood up with a slight wobble from the little bench.

"Are you coming home today?" Homura asked sadly as she always did, no doubt already knowing the answer.

I sighed, I knew she would ask this and would continue to ask this until things were settled. "I'm sorry, but I can't," I said with a sad smile, "it's the way it has to be. Soon I'll arrange with mommy for you to come over and see me for longer, then I'll make sure we have lots of fun." Homura seemed a little happier at that and I ruffled her hair again for good luck, then with leaden feet started to walk away, passing the concerned face of what should now be calling my ex-wife.

"Hachiman look…" Iroha started, but I ignored her. I was riding high on Homura's smile and I wasn't going to let some bitchy comment or complaint from Iroha spoil the moment. The bliss of my daughter's happiness at painting the picture I held tightly in my hand, could not be sullied right now. I turned and gave a wave as Homura waved back, I was amused to see Iroha start to wave automatically, before stopping herself. Feeling a bit more upbeat I headed off into town and too the college where my course was held, might as well go, I mean Iroha's money had paid for it.

The sun felt nice as it blazed through the window, freed from the chill of the Chiba wind. I had decided on a whim to sit in near the back on the window side of the college classroom, at least if the course was rubbish I could spend the time watching the world outside. I wasn't particularly enthused by the course in 'Modern Japanese for Writers' anymore, but it might keep my brain occupied. Already as the glow from seeing Homura faded, my mind was trying to convince me I had made it sound happier than it really was or that it was all some cruel trick of Iroha's. So I tried to focus on the joy of the window seat that I'd always shunned at school. I was enjoying watching the Chiba world go by outside, when a distinctive voice brought my reverie crashing down as a chill went up my spine.

The owner of the voice slid open the door as she continued to talk, I groaned at the sight of the back of a long white coat and equally long black hair. I had slim chance of escape before she turned around, but to my dismay a group of chatting students blocked my path to the rear door. I cursed my idiocy, if I'd sat in my old place nearer the door I would have made it, but here trapped in this stupid seat, I was doomed. I quickly arranged my bag and leant on my palm in such a way that hopefully disguised me a little. Though it was too little, too late as my old teacher, Hiratsuka Shizuka entered the room with a dramatically flourish of her coat.

She stood with hands on hips as she surveyed her domain, whilst I prayed to all the gods as I peered at her hands, hoping that I'd see a wedding band on her ring finger. But against all sense, the men of Chiba had failed me yet again, as the only thing I saw on her long fingers, was the yellow stain of thousands of cigarettes. I just didn't understand it, even at an age that I didn't dare risk thinking about, she still had an amazing figure. Sure things looked a little softer and there were a few more lines on her face, but still someone must have taken her by now. I mean I'd take her if I wasn't already mar... okay I had to scrub that line of thinking, before I regretted it. She must have noticed my gaze tracing her tall body, as her eyes went towards me along with a smug edge to her smile. I quickly went back to staring fixedly out the window as I saw her reflection chuckle and she started the lesson.

"Right, welcome everyone to, Modern Japanese for Writers!" Announced Hiratsuka with a dramatic pose more suited to mad scientist than a teacher. "For all of you thinking this is going to be an easy ticket to a qualification, get out. You are mistaken if you think you can relax your way through my lessons, handing in half arsed work and spending your time staring out the window."

She seemed satisfied as my chin slid off my hand and I snapped to attention, this really was a cursed seat. I tried to look like I was paying attention without looking directly at her and bringing her unnerving gaze on me again. But fortunately the rest of the lesson she paid no more heed to me, not even emphasising my name as she checked the roll call and I thought I might have gotten away with it. She droned on about the course with dramatic phrases and flourishes that kept my class mates enraptured. But I'd heard a lot of it before at school during class and homeroom to the point where I was starting to get _déjà vu._

After what seemed like an age the class ended, I quickly grabbed my bag and made for the door. But the class swarmed around me, pushing me back as a struggled for the door. Eventually and with a sigh of relief I made it through the door only to be met by a very angry face, that glowered at me as it prepared to shout. Yui's normally cute features were so twisted with rage that it took me a second to recognise her. Only for her expression to suddenly change to shock and then terror as she looked over my shoulder.

"Hikigaya Hachiman," came Hiratsuka's voice in the manner of a tyrannical villain, "we meet again."

Her hand grabbed my shoulder like a talon and spun me around, bringing me face to face with my teacher's manic grin. Up close you could see her wrinkles more clearly and they gave her twitching eyes a terrifying aspect and I was scared for my personal safety as my old teacher readied herself for another speech.

Then something smashed hard into my side and I briefly saw Hiratsuka's surprised face vanish from view as I crashed to the floor, smacking my head on the tiles. My vision swam as I rolled on to my back and looked up to see Yui astride me. Now normally I would have considered this a rather pleasant place to find myself, but the intense rage on Yui's face said clearly otherwise.

"Why didn't you tell me!" She screamed, thumping her fists on my chest. "I've been beside myself with worry, did it never cross your mind to me a call, an email, even a text message would have been enough. You promised me and Yukino that we'd be together again, yet you shut us out of something this important!"

Yui sat astride me breathing heavily as Hiratsuka laughed her arse off in distance, I was just about to try moving when Yui started up again. "Seriously Hachiman, I only knew about it from seeing Iroha declaring it all over the Internet. I can't believe after everything that I had to hear Iroha, that you're getting, a fucking divorce!"

Hiratsuka's laughter stopped instantly at that, as I looked up at Yui's tear streaked face, with my heart wrenching in my chest.

"Yui I..." my voice stammering as tried to get my words in a coherent order, "I've been in no fit state to talk to anyone recently, you are better off staying out of my shit excuse for a life. Also I didn't want you or Yukino catching any flak from Iroha, by getting too caught in this mess. "

"What do mean no fit state, if anything that's even more reason to talk to us and as for Iroha can take whatever that bitch can throw at me," stated Yui defiantly. But I shook my head, I'd already got a hint of the kind of slander Iroha could vomit forth and there was no way I'd let her spread that to the wider world. I tried to move again, but Yui was too distraught to move, I went to stroke her face, but the sound of high heeled boots distracted me.

"Come on Yuigahama, get off Hikigaya before you give him ideas." Said Hiratsuka with a sigh as she lifted Yui off me by the scruff of her neck like a limp kitten. She sat Yui on a table and put a tender arm around the younger woman's shoulder, making soothing noises as Yui stared blankly into space.

"I'm sorry for interrupting you Sensei," Yui murmured quietly.

"It's fine Yuigahama, trust me it was worth it." Hiratsuka chuckled before looking at me incredulously, "Now did I hear that right Hikigaya, you're seriously getting a divorce?"

I dragged myself up off the floor, plonked myself at a table and began telling my sorry tale. Hiratsuka didn't seem that interested at first, as she looked past me at the window, running her fingers through her long hair and twitching her features as if adjusting her smile. But as the story progressed she became more serious, watching my every expression, making me sweat like I was under interrogation. I kept my story reasonably truthful only making the odd tweak to make any part Yui or Yukino played less important, whilst Yui just sat there looking glum.

As my sorry state of affairs came to end Hiratsuka shook her head, "You crash and burn like a falling colony Hikigaya. I told you becoming a House Husband was a bad idea and now you see the truth of it, if only too late. Still I admit I'm glad you three are talking again, even it isn't always on friendly terms." She looked at Yui with a sad smile, "It hurt me a lot to see you three break apart like that, it messed me up way more than you could believe. " She looked introspectively at the world outside and then asked whilst waving a finger, "Though can I just double check, nothing actually happened between you two, I just want to be sure that part of the story is true?"

Yui and I both said "no" simultaneously whilst vehemently shaking our heads, to which Hiratsuka nodded approvingly and added, "… and Yukinoshita?" with a raised eyebrow.

Yui's red rimmed eyes snapped up, watching me intensely as I insisted repeatedly that nothing had happened between me and Yukino. They both seemed relieved and Hiratsuka smiled, "At least there is some sense in that tiny brain of yours, Hikigaya." She slid from the desk with a sigh and said, "Shall we head out, I really need a cigarette."

So we headed out the classroom, all three of us deep in thought, even if Hiratsuka seemed to have slight spring in her step. Leaving our old teacher at the door, struggling with her lighter in the wind. I walked towards the gate of the college and stopped dead when I saw someone waiting for me in the distance.

Iroha sat on a bench in a business suit, muttering to a large brown envelope as if in prayer to some god of the postal service. She looked up and with a deep breath, walked quickly straight up to me, her hands gripping the envelope tightly. I stood my ground, preparing a serious expression as I readied myself for what Iroha had to say.

"Hachiman," She started with determined tone that mostly hid her nerves. Her eyes darted about refusing to meet mine, until suddenly they froze on something behind me. Her expression instantly stiffening into anger as she snarled. "Well, that was quick Yui, did you even wait for my side of the bed to get cold before jumping in?"

Yui jumped, startled out of her contemplation as she looked for her addresser. Saw Iroha and desperately sought a way to vanish into thin air as she began to stammer an answer. Then with a wild yell something with long black hair shot past me, nearly sending me and Yui flying.

"You," growled Hiratsuka as she grabbed Iroha by the lapels, bringing their faces inches apart. Iroha's eyes went wide with terror as Hiratsuka's looked insane with malice a she growled again. "You, you ruined everything you stuck up prissy little bitch. You tore them apart, drove them away from me, but now I'm going..."

"Get off her" I yelled and yanked Hiratsuka backwards. Rage filled me as I flung my mad bag of a teacher behind me, this was just the kind of stupid shit I'd being trying to avoid. But now it seemed to be tsundere season and now Iroha was angry, she would use every last bit of spite in her dark heart to keep Homura from me.

Iroha fell to the ground and looked up in shock at my angry face as she wiped Hiratsuka's spittle from her face. "Another one Hachiman?" Iroha laughed blackly. "I always thought you went for younger women, but this one is probably old enough to be your mo..."

"What do you want Iroha?" I cut in harshly, before she got herself killed. Hiratsuka raged against my back as Iroha picked herself up and dusted her skirt, shoving the now crumpled envelope towards me.

"There you go Hachiman, the divorce papers you asked for." Iroha said dramatically, "I hope you enjoy me taking everything you own."

I snatched the envelope out of hands, fighting the urge to spit as I watched Iroha turn smoothly, her cute nose in the air and start to strut away.

"How you can just throw everything away?" screamed Yui suddenly, taking me by surprise. "You had everything, the house, the husband, the beautiful daughter. How can you just cast it all aside like that?"

Iroha turned slowly around to face Yui, "I'm not casting it aside, he is," Iroha stated flourishing a hand at me. "But don't you worry I'm keeping the house and Homura. Though if you really want a husband that badly your welcome to this piece of trash or are you worried he won't want you, if he finds out about your slutty little secret?"

Iroha smiled maliciously and Yui looked nervously at me before exclaiming, "he won't care, I'm sure of it."

"If you say so Yui." Iroha smiled wickedly as she strutted away. "Good luck fighting Yukino for him," then laughed back at Hiratsuka, "oh and old Sensei too of course."

"We're not..." started Yui with a shaken voice, but I cut in irritably, "leave it Yui."

Though I was fully aware that Yui wasn't the 'nice girl' I once thought she was, she stood no chance against Iroha, while my now ex-wife was so filled with so much spite. We watched Iroha swagger off, glancing back to check on her effect and smiling. Hiratsuka made a final lunge, but Iroha just scoffed and carried on, though her pace was a little faster.

I was so angry, I wanted to smash up the world. I was angry at Iroha, at Hiratsuka, at Yui and at Yukino for good measure. I really needed some coffee right now and stormed off in the direction of the college cafeteria, leaving the others behind. I paced forward in a storm cloud, glaring at the ground for daring to exist. Everything was fucked, I'd been trying to keep Iroha as sweet as possible in the circumstances, but that dance of bitches had wrecked it all.

Yui was struggling to keep up with me, constantly trying to get my attention, but I ignored her pleas. With a desperate lunge she grabbed my wrist and swung me about, wrapping her arms around me.

"I'm so sorry Hikki," Yui sobbed her muffled voice against my shoulder. "If I hadn't been there, Iroha wouldn't have gotten mad, if I hadn't asked you to wait..." The rest of her apologies became unintelligible between her sobs and my coat, but I got the gist easily enough as my struggles to break free became weaker.

I wanted to stay mad at Yui, I really did. Part of wanted to rant and rave at that whimpering little face, but in reality I knew she had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was sure if she'd known Iroha would be there, she'd made herself scarce. As much as I wanted to shift blame on to everyone else, I had to take on the responsibility for this myself, even the blame I piled on Iroha. I tenderly stroked Yui's hair, making an even bigger mess of her bun as she still mumbled incoherently against my coat. I fought it, but I could feel the anger ebbing out of me, it was simply impossible to stay mad at Yui for long. Mainly because it felt like hating a puppy and admittedly also due to the pleasant way her sizable chest was currently squeezed against my own.

Feeling rather guilty for thinking that way, while she cried her heart out, I said kindly. "Yui, none of this was your fault, this was going to happen eventually." There probably was some blame I could dumped on her shoulders, heck I could dumped it all, but the only thing I would have got out of that was confirmation that I was an arsehole.

Yui looked up through what seemed to eternally red rimmed eyes and stammered, "but if I hadn't..."

"Again if you hadn't done this or had done that or brought a decent lead for Sable." I said with a tender smile, "You can't blame yourself for the fact that I've made a complete mess of my life, Yui."

In cloud of cigarette smoke, Hiratsuka appeared and pulled Yui around to face her with more force than was really necessary. Shaking her head Hiratsuka said, "If you learnt one thing at school, Yui. It is that Hikigaya is a hopeless screw up and quite frankly it's a miracle that he's even got this far. You might as well blame yourself for the sun rising, if want to feel guilt for something as inevitable as him screwing up."

Even though it was my expense it was nice to hear Yui giggle, as they looked at me and shook their heads in unison.

"Just don't be blaming me or Iroha for that matter for your problems, like certain people here." I told Yui whilst glaring dead at Hiratsuka, who proceeded to blush like a schoolgirl.

"Sorry about that," Hiratsuka said awkwardly. "I was stressed out already with the first day on the job, not having a cigarette for hours, dealing with you two again and then my lighter not working. I don't know, I just saw Iroha doing her 'poor me' act and I just lost it. Though it was worth it to see the look on her face, I thought she'd wet herself." Hiratsuka grinned with pride at her bravado, ignoring the fact that to everyone else she looked like a lunatic.

"You really need to quit those cigarettes, no offense, but you shouldn't be going all tsundere at your age." I sighed.

"What, how the hell am I a tsundere?" exclaimed Hiratsuka waving her fist at my face, "it's not like I wanted to get dragged back into your crazy life or anything, you damn idiot."

I looked at her fist, then her face and raised an eyebrow at her choice of words. Hiratsuka looked her fist, which dropped at the same time as face, making her suddenly look her age, as her eyes trembled. "I'm not," she mumbled to herself, "idiot."

Yui looked at us with a mixture of fear and confusion, "What did you just do to her, Hikki?"

"Err, I may have just broken her." I said with some concern, I was starting to feel a bit guilty for my jibe. "Sorry Sensei, I was just joking, of course you're not a tsundere. Come on, let's go get a coffee and you can have fun seeing how much Iroha has taken from me." I waved the envelope with a hopeful smile at Hiratsuka, but it didn't have much effect as she continued to mutter, "Idiot."

We eventually made it to the cafeteria, I tried to centre myself as the warmth and caffeine seeped into me. Yui was taking delicate sips of hers, though it wasn't having much effect as she looked exhausted. Hiratsuka just stared at her cup, watching the steam dejectedly, I really was good at completely wrecking the women around me, maybe it'd be best if became a monk before I destroyed Homura too.

"Look Sensei, I really am sorry." I said putting a gentle hand on hers, she made a strange croak of surprise, but didn't pull hers away. "As you can imagine, I was a bit wound up from dealing with Iroha and I lashed out. I assure you, you're not a tsundere." After giving her hand a reassuring pat and an attempt at a friendly smile, Hiratsuka finally looked at me.

"Okay Hikigaya," she said with a tired smile placing her other hand on top of mine. "It really has been a rough day for all of us." She then looked a little awkward and added, "though do mind calling me Shizuka, Sensei really does make feel old?"

I chuckled and agreed, though it felt really weird to think of calling her by her first name. Yui also looked a little weirded out by it too, but kept quiet. We sat drinking in silence for a while, just enjoying the calm as the nearly empty cafeteria echoed around us with the sound of distant conversation and clinking cups.

Yui jumped a little as her phone rang in her handbag, pulling it out she seemed even more surprised by the name on the screen and nervously answered. She listened for a while and seemed to confirm that I was there, where we were, then informed the caller that 'Sensei' was with us. This was meant with a surprised, "Sensei!" That I heard from across the table and Yui explained roughly what had happened. Yui took the phone from her ear and said. "It's Yukino, she's wondering if it's okay to come and meet us?"

Hiratsuka and I murmured agreements with a joint shrug, as if Yukino even needed to ask. Yui passed that along and after another brief exchange, said bye and hung up.

"She's on her way now, should be a few minutes," explained Yui, still looking a little nervous. Yui looked at me, then at the long mirror behind the bar and rose from her seat. "I'm err, just going to go to the bathroom." She said, to which Hiratsuka answered after glancing at the mirror, "I think I'll join you."

I shrugged and waved a hand, wondering why they telling me, along with the age old question of why women always went to the bathroom in groups?

Sitting alone, I downed the last of my coffee and looked at the divorce papers. My heart sank as looked at the pages upon pages of lawyer speak, the words blurred as my tired eyes looked for understandable words amongst the gibberish. I glanced up to see Hiratsuka and Yui returning, looking much fresher, with neater hair and cleaner make up.

"Let's see those papers then," said Hiratsuka cheerfully sitting next to me and shuffling over a little too closely. Yui pulled a chair to my other side and peered over with interest, though soon gave up as she failed to make any sense of it either.

"Good luck with it," I said with a sigh and leaned back feeling the need for another coffee. Hiratsuka pulled the papers closer, making little laughs and snorts as she read. I went to get more coffee to keep us going and returned to find Yui asking questions as Hiratsuka shook her head.

Just as I was sitting back down on a seat with more personal space, when the door clattered and Yukino peered in cautiously. I gave a casual wave and she walked over, the dignified cut of her suit ruined by the nervous scurry of her feet. She stammered a "hello" and Yui jumped up, giving her a tight hug, which Yukino returned awkwardly. Hiratsuka gave her a nod with a slightly menacing smile, things had been particularly nasty between them at school and I could understand Yukino's nerves now.

"How are you, Sensei?" Yukino said quietly, with a worried smile that amused Hiratsuka.

"I'm fine, thank you Yukinoshita," she said. "Though can you girls call me Hiratsuka; I swear I feel my crow's feet getting longer every time one of you three calls me Sensei." Her wincing smile made the wrinkles around her eyes apparent even across the table. Yui and Yukino nodded their agreement, though Yui frowned at me.

"Are these the divorce papers?" Yukino asked me with interest, "Do you mind if I take a look?"

I signalled my uncaring consent, so Hiratsuka slid them over as Yukino sat down and put on pair of reading glasses. I watched her concerned reaction as she quickly scanned through the first couple of pages, waiting for a response.

"From what I could tell she's going take everything," said Hiratsuka with the authoritative air of someone who hopes that they're right. Yukino nodded in agreement as she continued to read, but didn't say anything more.

"I don't care about all that, what does it say about Homura," I said with growing irritation as my heart started to thump anxiously. Yukino flicked through pages rapidly, muttering their contents, until eventually she found the relevant section.

"Custody of the child hereby known as Hikigaya Homura, to be shared between the party known as Hikigaya Hachiman and the party known as Isshiki Iroha. Details of which to be decided between the aforementioned parties at a later date..." Yukino said slowly, rambling on into details as I stopped listening, leaning back with a sigh of relief.

"You can stop now Yukino, that was all I needed to hear," I said with a dismissing wave.

She blinked at me as she came out of her reading zone and asked with concern, "Are you sure, Hikigaya. It looks like Iroha really is going to take everything, money, house, the lot."

"I don't care Yukino," I said irritably. "As long as she doesn't stop me from seeing Homura, Iroha can choke on the lot of it."

"That's all very well Hikigaya," said Hiratsuka seriously. "But if you don't have a home or money, you can't exactly look after your daughter."

"I know that," I snapped back angrily, then explained the full situation and specifically my now rather vague sounding plan for the future. It was mainly for Yukino's benefit and quite frankly I was sick to the teeth of telling people my sorry story.

Yukino looked at me with pleading smile, "Why didn't you tell us, when Yui told me I was so worried..."

"That's what I told him," insisted Yui.

"Yes, but you were a lot more direct," I said to Yui causing her to blush. "As I said to Yui, I wanted to keep you two out of this in case Iroha used it against me or against you two, though it was pointless in end thanks to these two." I waved a hand at Yui, who looked downcast and Hiratsuka, who snorted derisively.

"Hikigaya, I have an entire company of lawyers at my disposal," said Yukino with a smile that belonged to her sister. "If Iroha tried anything she'd regret it. If you want, I can have Hayato's family look over these papers and you'll get everything."

"I don't want everything," I shouted angrily, causing the cafeteria to go quiet. I was fed up of having to repeat something so simple. "All I care about is Homura, I've already hurt her enough already and I just want this over with. You don't get it, none of you are parents, you wouldn't understand how important my daughter's happiness is to me!"

There was silence at the table and then suddenly Yui exploded, "We're only trying to help Hikki. You always do this, the 'I have got to take on everything alone,' thing and all it does it hurt everyone that cares about you!"

"Do you think I want hurt everyone?" I shouted back at her, "I don't mean to, but that doesn't stop me from being fucking good at it."

"That's Iroha talking," cut in Hiratsuka harshly, "don't let that bitch get to you."

"No, it's me talking," I snarled at Hiratsuka. "Homura was my one shot to not be a screw up, as you so delightfully put it and I blew it. I've dug this hole for myself and I have to get myself out, if I can't then well, I don't deserve to be her father!"

Hiratsuka's mouth opened and closed as she tried to think of some asinine reply. So with blurry eyes I downed the dregs of my cold coffee and made to leave, sick of this bunch of interfering old fishwives.

"No!" Yui and Yukino both yelled, reaching out as I stormed away. The sound of scraping chairs echoed across the near empty cafeteria as I strode forth, determined to get out of their suffocating chatter. Yui grabbed my wrist and skidded around me as I tried to wrench free with an irritated snarl. I glared at her to get out my way, but she held her ground, determined to get one last word in.

"Please don't think like that Hikki," she squealed. "I've seen you with her, you're the best father a girl could ask for."

"Really," I roared at her, "If I'm such a great father, then why am I here looking at divorce papers, instead of at home with her and her mother?"

Yui stuttered searching for any reply and I was about to push past when she found an answer, "because you weren't happy. The minute I saw you again I could tell how unhappy you were. It was obvious to me, to Yukino and I'm sure it was obvious to Homura. She may not be able to express it or even understand it, but deep down she knows when you're unhappy."

"But my happiness doesn't matter," I said with a voice that I struggled to keep steady. "Only hers, I forgot that and paid the price."

"Shut up and actually listen to me Hikki," Yui screamed so loud it made me step back. "When you are unhappy, she'll be unhappy. Believe me, I'm sure she'd be better seeing you and Iroha happy, but apart. Than together and arguing constantly over every little thing."

"Are you sure of that, do you want to how Homura reacted to not seeing me for a week?" I snapped at Yui, my finger pointing at her face. "She hit me and demanded that I coming home. Every time I see her she asks the same thing and it is so hard to say no." I could barely see Yui, through the tears in my eyes, but I kept right on. "Does that sound like a child that is happy to have a parents apart, because at the moment she hates me?"

"There's no way in hell she hates you," implored Yui, "I'll prove it, now give me your phone and I will make Iroha put your daughter on the line!"

I blinked at her outstretched hand and said "No," with a disgusted shake of my head. But before I could stop it, I felt my phone sliding out my jeans pocket, as Hiratsuka snatched my phone and handed it to Yui. With a determined expression she brought it out of standby and then froze. A croak escaped her as she stood staring at the picture of Homura in her school uniform that I had already made my background. Yui's stillness was unsettling, she moved her finger in a slow zombie like taps, as she looked through the gallery at my other pictures of Homura.

"Yui?" I said quietly as I tried to ease the phone out of her fingers, before she stayed like that forever. Then she slowly turned the screen to me showing me Homura grinning with her painting of me and pleaded, "does that look like someone who hates their father?"

I stammered a feeble attempt at a reply and hung my head with shame.

"Does it Yukino?" Yui stated showing the phone to Yukino, who stood next to us, white as a sheet as if she'd been trying to get between us. Nervous at being suddenly at the centre of attention, she took the phone with shaking hands and looked at the photo. She smiled and zoomed in on the painting in Homura's hands, "there's no way she can hate you, not when she paints such a great likeness."

Hiratsuka leaned over curiously and barked a laugh, while Yui smiled with affirmation of her argument. I couldn't look directly at them or at the picture of Homura, I'd let myself get lost in despair and lashed out. Ignoring the evidence of Homura's love to wallow in the luxury of my own cynicism and negativity.

"Please sit down, Hikigaya," said Yukino gently. Her delicate fingers brushing mine as she slid my phone back into my hand. The strength went out of me and I collapsed into the nearest chair, slumping onto the table, unable to muster the energy to sit up. My phone clattered onto the plastic surface and the zoomed in painting of me spun around to mock me with its rotten eyed half smile.

"Sen... Hiratsuka, would you mind getting Hikigaya another coffee," asked Yukino politely. "Actually get everyone a drink, including yourself." Hiratsuka blinked in surprise at the order, but calmly waved away the money Yukino offered and walked towards the confused cafeteria staff.

Yui and Yukino sat down opposite, looking at me with concern. I couldn't meet their eyes so I spoke to their hands that nervously rested on the table. "I'm sorry for being such an unbelievable arsehole, I know you're just want to help but I'm just..." I searched around for a manlier word and failed... " So scared of losing her that I forget everything else and just want to get angry at everyone."

"Hikki there's nothing wrong with being scared or angry, anyone else would be, heck I was just now." Yui spoke kindly and I looked at her sad smile, wishing deeply that I could get through one conversation with her without making her cry.

"You need to get through this quickly for your sake as much as Homura's," said Yukino calmly. "I wasn't meaning to pressure you earlier, I just wanted to know if there was any way we could help you through this."

"I appreciate that, Yukino," I sighed rubbing my tired eyes with my forefinger. "I'd hoped not to have to ask you such a big favour, but I don't really have a choice. Is that job offer still open?"

Yui looked surprised and turned her head quizzically at Yukino who became a little flustered and stammered, "Err, yes, if you want it. I took the liberty of checking with my family and they seemed fine with it, but there is one issue." Yukino looked down apologetically and searched for the right words, "I couldn't employ you in my office. There are people who fought tooth and nail to get their positions, so if I just employ you above them as a personal favour, it could cause, problems. So I'm afraid it would..."

Yukino drifted off into an awkward silence and I smiled at her, "Whatever you can give me will be fine, Yukino and greatly appreciated."

"If that doesn't work out, I might be able to get you something at the bar," chipped in Yui quickly.

"I could always use a teaching assistant, Hikigaya," chimed in Hiratsuka with a smile as she returned with the coffee. "I'm sure I can find something fun for you to do."

Their enthusiasm was a little unnerving, so I quickly tried to curb it. "Let's see how things work out at Yukino's place, then I'll see about being a barman or an assistant. Believe me, I appreciate the offers, but working nights at a bar might prove difficult with Homura and I'll probably need more pay than you can afford Hiratsuka."

They hid their disappointment behind understanding nods and we all quietly sipped our coffees. Hiratsuka sighed and went out for what she claimed was a well-earned cigarette, but I could see her watching us intently, through the window.

"Have you found somewhere to live?" Yui asked quietly and I shook my head.

"Not yet, but I think I'm almost there, the job offer will help a lot," I said with a nod of thanks to Yukino.

"You know I..." started Yukino with a nervous glance at Yui.

"I know you would, as would you Yui and no doubt Hiratsuka too" I said with a roll of my eyes." I appreciate it, but Homura needs her own room to fill with toys and I need my own place to start afresh. Don't worry I want to get it sorted as soon as possible."

Yui looked like she was going to reply, then simply nodded again as I struggled with the temptation. It wasn't like I didn't like the idea of living with either of them, it would solve so many of my problems. But my willpower was way too weak at the moment, to risk being with them in such close quarters and I just couldn't deal with the fallout of anything like that, so it was best for me not to take chances.

It went quiet again and I suddenly noticed the cafeteria staff member hovering near us, desperate to shut up shop. "We'd better get moving," I said with a sigh and Yui checked the time, commenting that she needed to get to work. Yukino nodded agreed she needed to get things rolling on this job for me.

So we headed for the door, but Yui hung back. "Say if you want to," Yui started nervously as Yukino and I turned expectantly. "I was thinking I have next Saturday free, would you two like to come over. Hopefully Hikki will be a bit more sorted and we can have a proper talk about everything in a bit more private." She quickly glanced at Hiratsuka who was pretending to be absorbed in a cigarette and then looked hopefully at us.

With a bemused glance at each other we both agreed with a smile and Yui jumped forwards and crashed us together in an awkward group hug. Trying my best not to think about how nice they both felt against me, we separated looking a little embarrassed and headed outside. Hiratsuka joined us, giving both Yui and Yukino a quick hug, she made them promise to keep in touch with her. They nervously agreed and our old teacher rounded on me, crushing me in rib cracking embrace.

I felt a hand slip something into the back pocket of my jeans and she whispered, "Don't think all this gets you out of the assignment I set you." She then sauntered off, waving back at us with a slight flush in her lined cheeks as she disappeared towards the car park.

I turned back towards the other two with a shake of my head, as they both looked at me a little worried. Yui checked the time and looked stricken, giving me another quick hug as I thanked her. Yui surprisingly pecked me on the cheek, then shot off to work. Yukino stood looking a little awkward, pulling her coat tight against the cold and rubbed her arms.

"Thank you so much for the job, Yukino," I said with a bow. "I've no idea how I'll ever pay you back, but I'll try."

"Honestly It's fine Hikigaya, give me a day or so and I'll let you know when you can start" She smiled.

"Well still thank you again, please pass on my thanks to your parents and sister." I said, trying to convey the humbleness I felt.

"Haruno is going to love this," Yukino said with a sigh, "she's going to make your life hell you know that?"

"I would be more surprised if she didn't," I said with a laugh and Yukino chuckled too. There was an awkward silence and I said that, "I'd better get going." She nodded in agreement then after an indecisive moment, gave me a quick light hug. Then not to be outdone by Yui she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek too and scurried off like a shy school girl.

I shook my head and thought that these girls would be the death of me. Purposefully turning the other way, I trudged off dog tired as the emotions of the day caught up with me. Looking forward to getting back to my sister's and the chance to sleep.

[ _Authors Note: Hi everyone, thanks for you thoughts on the last chapter, don't be afraid to post them on this one. Hope it wasn't too melodramatic, I might have gone overboard in places, but at least I hope you all enjoyed having everyone's favourite Christmas Cake Sensei back.]_


	5. Chapter 5

**My After Story SNAFU**

 **Chapter 5**

The sunlight glinted off the scarred surface of my wedding ring as I pondered what to do with it. Should I keep it, throw it away with the tin cans, cast it into the fires of Mount Fuji? I rolled the ring through my fingers, watching the metal shine as it passed the scar it had left on my finger. I then put it in front of a dinted framed photograph of Iroha and myself on our wedding day, that stood on a shelf amongst other family photos. I clearly wasn't quite ready yet to cast my ring completely aside, somehow deep down that band of metal was still precious to me.

I stood in sweaty, paint splattered clothes, looking around my new home, a pretty ordinary place in the kind of small apartment building that could be found anywhere in Japan. I'd spent a hard few days getting the place ready for my daughter, with her room being the first to be cleaned up and filled with Komachi's old bedroom furniture. It had taken all of my sister's persuasive cuteness to convince our father to part with it, but since it was for his granddaughter, he had grudgingly brought it all over. The other furniture was junk that had been unceremoniously tossed on to the front lawn of the old house by Iroha or had been acquired second hand off from all over Chiba.

The smell of paint was still in the air as I fussed over the grimy bathroom fittings, trying to get them hygienic for my Homura's little hands. I could feel my own hands shaking from nerves as a message from my now ex-wife pinged into my phone telling me they were on their way. This would the first time Homura would be with me for longer than a day since I'd been unceremoniously booted out and I was worrying about everything. I straightened her room again and knew I should have tried to remove the stickers of long forgotten idols that covered my sister's old furniture. But I realised it was too late as heard the doorbell buzz and with quite a lot of trepidation, I opened the front door.

"Daddy!" I heard the shout before I saw her and Homura charged into me, wrapping her arms around my legs as her head smacked my groin. I grunted as my vision swam, my time away from her causing me to forget her head height. I could see Iroha grinning with amusement as Homura let go and shot past with a cry of excitement to explore her new home.

"Morning," I said with a formal cough and Iroha returned the greeting as she shook her head into seriousness.

"I've packed a bag of Homura's clothes including her uniforms, they're all clean, but I want them back in the same state." Iroha said as she dropped a huge hold-all bag with a relieved sigh, then slung bulky rucksack at my feet as she added. "Here are the toys she 'couldn't be without' apparently, hopefully they can stay here, since my parents are spoiling her rotten at the moment."

I nodded in serious yet silent agreement, my parents had been just as bad and Homura's new room already had a plethora of toys in it, as judging by the noise she had just discovered. Iroha peered past me, curious about my new place and I frowned, moving to block the doorway, causing Iroha to pull a childish pout.

"I've also packed a lunch and some sweets, there's also her crayons..." Iroha rambled uncertainly.

"I know what I'm doing Iroha," I snapped. "I'm not some teenage babysitter."

"I know that, Hachiman," Iroha snapped back defensively. "I wasn't sure what you had so I packed extra, you know, just in case."

"She'll be fine," I said with a roll of my eyes as I grew tired of Iroha's hen pecking. So I shouted back into the apartment. "Come on Homura, come say goodbye to your mother."

Homura hurtled out and buried herself against her mother, mumbling goodbyes into Iroha's sweater. Iroha's eyelashes flickered as she ruffled her daughter's hair and whispered reassuring platitudes. I was beginning to get impatient, wanting my ex-wife to hurry up and leave, so I could get on with actually spending time with my daughter. Iroha saw my impatience and glowered at me, before giving Homura one final very long squeeze.

"Come on now, go to Daddy," Iroha said with a sad smile, as she gave our daughter a light push towards me. Homura slunk towards me and clung to my leg, as Iroha asked, "you will call me if anything happens?"

"Yes!" I sighed with exasperation, "but stop worrying because nothing will."

"I just wanted to be clear," Iroha pleaded. "I'll call tonight when it's her bedtime.

"Fine," I sighed, "just don't leave it too late, I won't wake her if she falls asleep."

"I won't, don't worry." Iroha said dithering on the doorstep. She crouched and gave Homura's forehead a kiss. "I'll talk to you later sweetie, you be naughty for Daddy."

Homura giggled as her mother winked and they hugged again. I frowned at Iroha and she in an angry fluster, "Okay, okay I'm going Hachiman, don't get your panties in a twist."

I picked up Homura and Iroha forced her feet to walk away, waving as she went. Homua yelled, "bye Mummy," as her hand waved into a blur. I gave a vague half wave and Iroha smiled as she disappeared hesitantly around the corner.

As we went inside Homura broke free and went to the window, trying to see her mother outside anxiously, while I dragged in the overburdened bags. After a laborious unpacking, I sat and played with my daughter, acting adventures and scribbling doodles, in an effort to bring some cheer to her little face. As we played together she seemed to get a little happier, though she'd still check out any noise outside the window with expectant eyes. It felt weird, almost like we were having to learn how to be father and daughter again, I just hoped it was short phase for her as things got settled.

Seeing the bright spring day outside I suggested we head to the park, which as I hoped immediately cheered Homura up, getting herself in a muddle as she tried to get ready too quickly. Once at the park, though she was having plenty of fun, I couldn't relax for a second as I watched Homura's every movement. Our time apart had made me especially paranoid, as my eyes narrowed on every stranger and every possible risk became a death sentence. I stuck to my daughter's side like glue, even in the relative safety of the park I was terrified of her falling off something or tripping over as she ran.

Homura was starting to get frustrated with me hovering over her, my daughter's short time at school had already made her a lot more independent and it was a bit of a shock to my system. She became upset, when I couldn't take it any more and decided leave the park, to head into the city centre. Homura whined and pouted as I carried her tightly along the streets, not feeling comfortable with her walking so close to Chiba's busy roads until we were well inside the shopping district.

We looked in shops, where I brought Homura a new pair of hooded cat pyjamas that I'd set aside money for, because they were simply too cute not to buy. But my main purpose was further into the centre, inside the big mall where a large crowd had developed. Normally I would avoid a crowd of this size like the plague, especially with Homura in my arms, but this was a special occasion.

His message saying he'd be in town had surprised me earlier in the week, but it hadn't mentioned the legion of over excited fan girls and guys that queued ahead of us. Above us huge screens displayed his greatest moments and held Homura absolutely entranced. The line was moving slowly, but eventually we got to the signing table and the sight that met my eyes still smashed through my masculinity.

Behind a long table with several other sports stars he looked up and smiled with an unadulterated happiness that lit up the world around him like a sun. I was fighting the blush in my cheeks as his effeminate face looked up at me, striking me with its almost elven-like beauty, that made him seem out of place amongst us mere mortals.

"Hachiman!" Totsuka cried, jumping up in a move that spooked his security. "I was hoping you'd make it and wow, if it isn't little Homura?"

Vaulting the table, he crossed the distance between with ease and stood a little too closely to me, peering up at the daughter in my arms. "She's grown up so fast, Hachiman," Totsuka said cheerfully, "seems like she was only a baby yesterday and now she's a proper little lady." He smiled his brilliant smile and Homura giggled shyly, burying her bright red face against my shoulder.

"Yeah, I swear she's taller every time I look at her," I smiled and ruffled Homura's hair. "I still can't get my head around her being in school either."

"Seriously school already," said Totsuka with surprise, "time really has flown. She'll be ready for the Service Club duties in no time."

"Don't let Yukino hear you say that," I laughed a little hollowly, "You'll give her ideas."

At the mention of her name Totsuka's expression instantly grew concerned. "So you are talking to her again, I heard about you and..." He stalled with a glance at Homura, unsure of what he could say.

"We've been talking a little bit, but it's nothing like that," I said sternly. "But yes, Iroha and I are no longer together." Totsuka looked a little relieved, though the worry showed through as he asked how we'd been.

"It's been tough, but we're pulling through." I said with a smile as a stroked Homura's cheek. Wanting to change the subject, I grinned and looked around at the crowd. "There's no need to ask how you've been, congratulations on that win by the way, it was incredible."

Totsuka blushed so cutely that I felt a little light headed and Homura giggled again. "It was a tough match," he sighed, "though I wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for you, Hachiman." I chuckled and shook my head, my influence in Totsuka's tennis career had been minimal at best. Though after a few drinks I would often brag that I'd made him the man he was today, but few ever believed me and it had been a source of many an eye roll from Iroha.

"Don't be modest, Totsuka," I said, gesturing at the crowd and displayed trophies. "You've done all this yourself and I'm sure there's plenty more where that came from."

"I wouldn't so sure about that." grimaced Totsuka as he rolled his right shoulder. "I'm not as young as I used to be and all this isn't as fun as it looks."

I was about to disagree with the man with the impossibly youthful features, when an aide tapped him on the shoulder and reminded us of the enormous queue of fans waiting. Totsuka blushed again and apologised to her, nearly making her faint. Then clapped me on my free shoulder and said, "It was great to see you Hachiman, if you want to talk you know how to get in touch." He then bowed to Homura and added. "It's lovely to meet you again milady, make sure you look after your Daddy."

She went red again and I told her to say goodbye, but she was too shy for that and just waved over my shoulder as we walked away. The crowd was glaring at us with a mixture of hatred and envy, though I thought I saw the hungry eyes of Ebina as she hurriedly scribbled onto a notepad.

We left the crowd behind, Homura squirming on my shoulder as she tried to keep sight of Totsuka, until he was well out of sight. Heading for the exit, Homura suddenly wriggled free, making excited squeaks as she clambered down me and shot away. In panic I tore after her and arrived at the window of a sports shop, where a display of tennis equipment was surrounding a smiling cardboard cut-out of Totsuka. Homura was pointing at the cut-out and then a pair of bright pink plastic child's tennis racquets with a sponge ball.

I looked at the price tag and gulped, thinking I'd have to have a word with Totsuka about the price of his merchandise. Homura looked at me pleadingly and I winced as I thought about my meagre finances, crouching down to force myself to say, "I sorry sweetie, I don't have enough money for it."

I gritted my teeth for her response as her eyes seemed to grow and her lip quivered. I steeled my soul as those eyes began to fill with tears and her whimper became heart-breaking. I knew I shouldn't give in to such behaviour and you'd thought my will would be stronger against eyes that looked so much like her mother's. But as my daughter tore through my defences, my determination crumbled and I found myself leading her inside, my shoulders heavy with the weight of defeat.

A short while later Homua was marching ahead of me on our way home, waving her new racquet like club while making dramatic swooshing sounds. I sighed as a rolled the sponge tennis ball between my fingers, pondering how to tweak my finances cover the cost. It should be all right if I cut a few more corners and it was so worth it to see my daughter dancing down the street ahead of me. Once home, Homura was enjoying sending the ball flying about the apartment, while I took dramatic action photos of her serve. There weren't enough ornaments in the place for her to break, but a few unfortunate dolls had been struck down by her meteoric strikes. I had to wait quite some time until Homura had practically exhausted herself, before I could get her to sit down and eat her dinner, watching intently to make sure she ate all her vegetables.

Once she was finished, it became clear that Homura would soon be ready for bed as she yawned sleepily and cuddled up to me in front of the television. Every time she'd start to doze Homura would snap herself awake and look at my phone resting on the table, clearly waiting for her mother to call. I was starting to get impatient with Iroha, it was already past Homura's normal bed time and she'd never sleep until the call came. We both jumped when a short while later my phone buzzed its way across the table top and Homura jumped forward. But I had a longer reach and swiftly answered with an irritated, "Hello."

Iroha's voice seemed a little nervous and my irritation grew at the sounds of a party in the background. "Hi Hachiman, sorry for calling so late, is Homura still awake?"

"Yes she's been waiting patiently for you to call," I jabbed, "wait a second I'll put you on speaker."

With a tap to the screen, I placed the phone on the table and listened to Homura tell her mother about her day in stream of semi comprehensible dialogue. To my ex-wife's credit, despite the vague babble of drunks around her, she sounded quite sober for a change as she laughed and commented on Homura's tale.

"Well it sounds like you had quite a day sweetie, I guess there's worse friends of Daddy's you could meet than Totsuka," Iroha sighed. "But now I think it's time for little tennis stars to go to sleep."

I took the phone with us as Homura climbed into her new cat pyjamas and dove under her blankets. I tucked her in along with her squad of stuffed toys, while Iroha said her goodnights and blew kisses from the phone. Homura was already starting to doze as I turned the light out and quietly left her in peace. Iroha's voice asked a question, but I was too tired for small talk and just hung up without a word. I sat and twiddled my thumbs, unnerved by how quiet the place suddenly felt. Staring blankly at the TV, I soon fell asleep myself as boredom and tiredness suddenly swept over me.

After a blissful few days with Homura, enjoying the simple things like the journey to school and watching her eat breakfast. It was time for Iroha to have her turn with our daughter. I reluctantly watched her go as a blissfully happy Iroha took her away from me and the apartment felt as empty as when I'd first moved in.

But I had places to be and things to do, so I had no time to wallow in my wretchedness. I laughed inwardly as I spent far too much time getting ready for today. Taking my time showering, shaving and donning one of the few sets of good clothes I still owned. Quite a while later I headed out the door and walked across town to Yui's place.

Checking her address on my phone, I rounded the corner and looked at the apartment building that was practically a carbon copy of my own. As I looked along the identical doors searching for the right number, I heard a car door click shut and looked to see Yukino emerging from a black Lexus. She walked over gracefully as always and nodded to me with a smile. "Morning Hikigaya," she said formally, "I wasn't sure you would come."

"Of course of I was," I replied with a frown. "I guess you just got here too?"

"Err, Yes," she said a little nervously and quickly added, "shall we go?"

We headed up to the first floor, checking the numbers until we came to Yui's apartment and with a glance at Yukino I rang the bell, but there was no answer. I could hear music playing on the other side, along with the faint sound of Yui singing along, so there was no doubt she was in. I waited a little longer until with nervous impatience Yukino reached past me and rang the bell again. This time the music died and there was a muffled curse, followed by the rustling of plastic.

There was a clicking of latches and the door opened to reveal Yui blinking in the rush of sunlight. Her hair was done up under a white cleaning scarf and the sleeves of her top were rolled up to the elbow as a few beads of sweat hung on her brow. Yui's eyes went wide, darting back and forth between us, "What, why are you here so early?" She stammered in a panic.

"Erm, I thought this was the time you said?" I said puzzled, glancing at Yukino as she nodded in agreement.

"Really," Yui said confused, glancing back at a clock inside and then proceeding to panic as she profusely apologised. "Sorry I was cleaning and stuff, then lost track of time..."

Yukino cut off Yui's fretting by asking, "If you want, we can come back later?"

Yui looked undecided for a moment, then shook her head. "No, no come in you'll have to just excuse the mess, I'm afraid."

Yui lead us inside, apologising again for the obstacle course of recycling and rubbish bags that nearly blocked the hallway. Yui kept picking things up and putting them down, fussed over whether to continue cleaning or welcome us properly. I couldn't take my eyes off Yui's face, trying to figure out what was different and then it hit me, it was the first time I'd seen her without any make up. She blushed slightly as she noticed my gaze and then suddenly clocked the same realisation. With a sudden shriek that nearly gave Yukino a heart attack Yui cried, "Ahh, don't look Hikki," trying to cover her face.

I looked down with embarrassment, then realising that Yui wasn't wearing a bra beneath her stained cleaning top. I quickly tried to keep my rotten eyes away from the twin points poking up through the top's thin material, but Yui noticed and yelled, "Hikki," in an aghast tone. She tried to cover her ample chest with her other arm, then shot off to her bedroom, with a slam of the door.

Yukino looked at me warily as her hands started to automatically rise to her somewhat smaller bosom. "I'd better go see to her," said Yukino with concern and I nodded my agreement, sighing at the great start to my visit.

"Yui, it's Yukino, is it okay if I come in?" Yukino asked politely and Yui reluctantly agreed. I let them talk behind the closed door, as I sighed at the unnecessary fuss, it wasn't like a stranger to world of women's undergarments and make up after being married for so long. I started to look around for something to do that might help me feel less awkward as I stood here alone. I looked at the pile of recycling bags that blocked the hall, noticing that some of the recycling had become mixed up and sorted them out. Order restored to the refuse, I decided I might as well take them out, in a hope that it would make amends for my faux pas. Feeling slightly disappointed that they wouldn't see my manful display, I managed to pick up all the bags in one go and awkwardly crab walked them out.

By the time I returned they were back in the front room, where a more polished and supported Yui, thanked me for helping in cloud of flowery lady's deodorant. I manfully shrugged it off as nothing, trying to ignore the pain in my hands from where the bags had cut in. But Yui insisted on apologising with a flush of embarrassment as she said, "Sorry, for freaking out like that Hikki, you two caught me all unprepared."

"You need not have worried, Yui." I said in a gentlemanly fashion, "you looked fine as you were. You should have seen Iroha without make up, now that was scary sight."

Yui blushed as Yukino rolled her eyes and smiled. It was a slight exaggeration, Iroha generally looked good even without make up, apart from when she'd been pregnant with Homura, then all her overloading hormones had made Iroha look terrifying. Still complementing Yui like that would help smooth things over and hopefully keep her mind off the fact that the lack of bra had caught my attention to a far greater degree.

Yui fussed with some tea while Yukino and I sat awkwardly, trying to make the kind of polite small talk that both us were so bad at. I looked about at Yui's apartment, it wasn't dirty as such just very chaotic, with a lot of things just piled on table tops and shelves, waiting for a proper home. As a man I didn't care about it, but Yukino was sitting very tightly, looking about anxiously at the place, as if expecting something to leap out. She certainly looked like she was itching to sort everything out and bring order to the realm as she peered at a pile of letters. Around us Yui was continuing to rush about trying to tidy this, sort that and not making much progress with either. Even I was starting to feel rather inconsiderate, so I went to Yui and offered to help. Yui of course immediately refused, telling me to sit right back down, but I waved her away and started to work on the huge pile of dirty dishes that lay in the sink.

"I'm sorry Hikki," Yui sighed in defeat, as she dried the plate I just cleaned. "I've been working so much I never get time to do this kind of stuff and it all just piles up."

I waved her apology away with a flick of scrubbing brush that sent bubbles to splat cutely on Yui's cheek. Going back to enjoying the way she'd accidentally brush up against me as she put crockery into cupboards. I was also enjoying the surge of pride at finally getting to show off my house husband skills, relishing in the chance to prove that hadn't just been lazing around over the last few years.

"Don't treat glassware like that Hikigaya, you'll leave streaks," admonished Yukino casually, knocking the wind out of my sails. She'd given into her desires and was sorting through the enormous pile of letters, occasionally scolding Yui for not keeping a better hold on her finances. Yui would assure her that she had it all under control, but it was clear the Yukino had her doubts as she asked why had such an expensive internet package for someone who worked all the time.

With the dishes done I moved on to other bits of cleaning leaving Yui to giving Yukino flustered excuses. I was removing a layer of dust from some shelves in the main room, wondering like a mother-in-law about when they'd last felt the touch of duster. I was being a little nosy as I casually looked at the large number of framed photographs as I cleaned the dust off them. Unsurprisingly there were a number of pictures of us three, I could barely remember now when they had been taken, but I smiled at the sight of us in happier times. Alongside were pictures of Yui with Yumiko's crowd, noting that Yui always seemed on the outside there, where as she was always at the centre of us three. There were more recent pictures of Yui with other friends too and I tried to ignore my heart twinging with the resentment I didn't deserve to feel.

There were larger pictures of Yui and her mother, looking almost like twins at times as their ages changed. Yui's mother was still surprisingly good looking for her age and it seemed that Yui had inherited that trait, though more recent worries showed in both their eyes. I smiled at the next set which were all pictures of Sable, Yui's ever troublesome dog. I wasn't sure if he was still around, there was certainly no sign of him here, but in one photo he was looking very grey furred and dignified.

The last photograph stood out on its own shelf and was unusually the only one spotlessly clean. Though the marks where it had been constantly taken and returned scarred the dust on the shelf in an untidy star. Puzzled I looked at the picture properly and in an instant my hand started to shake, my heart lurching in my chest as I struggled to comprehend what I was seeing.

In a simple frame was a standard sized photograph of a very exhausted looking Yui, wearing a hospital gown and holding a new born baby.

A thousand questions tore through my brain as I studied the photograph for understanding. Yui looked much younger than she did now, probably not much older than when I'd last seen her at school. She smiled at the photographer from a hospital bed with the unfocused look of too much pain and too many painkillers. Yui looked so happy with herself as she cradled the grumpy looking baby in her arms, it's face still red and puffy from being born. In many respects it wasn't that dissimilar from a picture of Iroha holding Homura, that I had in pride of place at home.

I racked my memory for any hint of child living in this apartment, but there had been no sign. Homura left a trail of toys, crayons and socks, everywhere she went, so it was impossible to hide a child. But here there wasn't even a hint of pet or a boyfriend and my heart sank as I reached the inescapable conclusion that Yui lived alone.

I then felt the soft pressure of Yui pressing against my back, her hand sliding around me to try and pull the picture free of my hands. But my grip was too tight and she ended up pulling me around with it, our faces awkwardly close as I looked into her sad eyes as an even sadder smile formed on her lips.

"Yui I..." I stalled, not knowing what to say to her. My brain stumbling over itself with stupidly incoherent sounds, trying to vocalise a million more questions at once.

"Her name is Yume," said Yui quietly, her finger gently stroking the picture as she gazed fondly at the baby. "Though I don't know if she's called that now."

A part of me breathed little easier with relief at Yui's use of the present tense, though I still couldn't get my mouth to say anything. Yukino walked over, curious to see what we were talking about and peered in to see the photograph. Then she yanked the picture free, making a strange little croak as her words caught in her throat too. Yukino stood there staring wild eyed, first at the photograph, then at Yui, then at me, before stumbling backwards in confusion.

"Yukino!" Cried Yui, reaching out to grab Yukino as she flumped stiffly on to the couch. Yukino didn't seem to have notice her fall as she continued to gaze without comprehension at the picture of a baby in her friend's arms.

"What, how, when?" Stammered Yukino, looking at Yui with the beginnings of tears in eyes as her hands began to shake.

"I think you're old enough to not need that talk, Yukino," joked Yui nervously as she vainly attempted to lighten the mood.

"You know what I mean!" Snapped Yukino so angrily that it made Yui step back behind me for protection.

"Yukino please..." I said, waving a hand in an attempt to calm her down, though my mind was going loops just as badly as hers.

"Don't give me that Hikigaya," Yukino snarled. "I saw your face just now; you were just as shocked as me."

I looked away sheepishly as Yui slowly sat next to Yukino, putting an arm around her saying. "It's all okay Yukino, Yume's nearly nine now, I've pretty much come to terms with it all now." If anything Yui saying this was more heart breaking than if she said she wasn't okay, especially since the pain was still visible in her smile.

"Nearly nine?" Exclaimed Yukino. "When did this happen, what happened to her and why in the hell didn't you tell me?" Yukino's voice was rising to a manic pitch as she gripped Yui's hand tightly and shook it to punctuate her words.

Yui slid her hand free, waving both them in the air with a ditzy smile, "You know, the same old story, silly girl drinks too much at a party and gets knocked up by some random guy." Yui's forced laugh as she tapped the side of her head with a tongue out, only serving to make me irritated at her determination to pretend things were okay.

"That's hardly the whole story," I said angrily when the hardship in her eyes was plain for anyone to see, even by me. "Who was this guy, what the hell happened to Yume and yeah, why the fuck didn't you say something to us?"

Yui shrank a little under my barrage and her tone became more introspective, "I don't remember who he was and he certainly never came forward once I found out I was pregnant." Yui said quietly as my fists clenched at this guy's irresponsibility. "Everyone was constantly telling me that I should get rid of it, that I wouldn't be able to raise her on my own and that I was too young to be a mother. But I just, I just simply couldn't do it, though I knew they were right, I wasn't good enough to raise a child. So I decided that the right thing to do was to give her up, you know for adoption."

Yui sighed and gazed at the photo with a smile, "I felt she would be better being raised by some lonely childless couple, providing the life I never could. Maybe one day they'll tell her about me and she might come looking for me, but I know that won't be for a long time. I just hope she won't be angry with me."

"She won't be," I assured Yui as I patted her shoulder. "I'm sure she'll understand you were only doing what you thought was best for her."

"Thank you Hikki," Yui said reaching up to caress my hand on her shoulder. "I wish now I had told you two at the time and you have every right to be angry with me. But after what happened at school, I was determined to make a clean break, start my life anew. That and I was so scared that you'd think I was a slut or a pathetic piece of trash for getting in such a mess."

"We'd never have thought that of you, Yui," said Yukino before I could. "I'm not angry with you, I was just shocked, I'm sorry lashed out. I just feel so ashamed, because I know I should have been there to do something, anything to help you."

"How could you?" Yui said with shrug, "I couldn't have asked you to help me like that, especially not then. Also I think a part of me was scared of what you would do to help me, especially if you sided with my mom and tried to convince me to keep Yume."

"Your mother was against the adoption?" I asked pointlessly, but I felt I needed to say something.

"Yeah," Yui sighed, "she helped me through the pregnancy and was the one who help my hand at the hospital, she was even the one who took this photo. I think mom hoped she could change my mind at the last minute. But seeing the joy on the faces of the couple who adopted Yume, kind of made it worth it and convinced me I was doing the right thing."

"How's your mom now?" I asked, considering how my parents were with Homura. I couldn't comprehend how a kind hearted woman like Yui's mother, had coped at the prospect of possibly never again seeing her own granddaughter.

"We didn't talk for a long time," said Yui with regret. "She took it very hard and has never truly moved on I think. Things are better now, but I know she still looks for Yume whenever we see children of about her age."

"You've not thought about looking for her yourself," asked Yukino anxiously, "You know I've got people who can find out these sort of things?"

Yui smiled and said kindly, "I appreciate that you want to help Yukino, but no. If Yume or whatever they decided to call her, wants to find me when she's older, then she can. I wouldn't want to come crashing into her life now, when she probably has no idea I even exist."

Yukino looked at me imploringly clearly desperate to help Yui in any way, but I shook my head and said. "That's probably for the best, I'm sure you'll meet her one day, just know this time we will be here for you, I promise you that."

"Thanks Hikki," Yui smiled. There was a pause and Yui sighed as she stood up, clearly needing to change the subject as she asked, "Look do you two want some lunch, I brought some stuff for us, just give me a moment to get it ready?"

I was still feeling a bit overwhelmed, but managed to shrug an agreement, whilst Yukino still looked at the photo with a shell-shocked expression. Yui walked up to me to say in an attempt at cheekiness, "Now you know, what it feels like, when people don't tell you important things." Punctuating with finger jabs to my chest and final stuck out tongue, though the humour felt rather hollow.

I hung my head and said, "I must say you've handled all this amazing well, I was without Homura for what, a few days and I went to pieces."

"Well our circumstances are quite different and it hasn't always been this easy, but thank you Hikki, that means a lot." She smiled again and suddenly pulled me into a hug. We stayed like that for what was probably longer than necessary, until she walked off with flushed cheeks to rummage in the refrigerator for some lunch.

There was so many questions I still wanted to ask Yui and from the look her face so did Yukino. I sat next to Yukino awkwardly and asked quietly, "are you okay?"

"You're asking the wrong person, Hikigaya." She gestured with a croaking voice at Yui, who was humming some pop song as she skipped about the kitchen. You'd never have guessed what Yui had been through as she vanished into her light hearted shell, raising a happy go lucky shield to protect her vulnerable heart.

"Yui, has said all she is capable of saying right now," I said with a grimace. "Just give her time."

"I know but..." Yukino murmured her face stricken with powerlessness.

"We're just going to worry her being like this, why don't go help her with lunch and I'll get the table ready," I said tenderly. "I know it isn't easy but I think she wants things to be normal for a while." Yukino looked at my forced smile and took a deep breath as she centred herself. I watched her go as she stood and went to help, gently scolding Yui on her cutting technique.

I placed the picture of Yui and Yume back on it shelf, the scene reminding me of the first time I'd held Homura. Despite being on the large side for a new born girl, she'd seemed so tiny in my arms, that I was terrified of hurting her. I couldn't imagine what Yui had gone through, knowing she'd soon have to let her daughter go.

I tried to clear the melancholy from my mind and instead enjoyed the nostalgia of watching Yukino bossing Yui around the kitchen. The table ready, it wasn't long until lunch appeared, along with a bottle of wine and I suddenly realised just how hungry I was. Thanking them, I tucked in and was surprised at how good it was, Yui's cooking had definitely improved since the old days, though Yukino's touch was still very noticeable on some of the dishes.

I became aware that they were both watching me expectantly and I said "this is really good," through a mouthful of food. Yui beamed with pride and Yukino nodded in agreement as she delicately wielded her chopsticks. Though Yui's smile faded a little as she pushed her somewhat healthier looking lunch around the plate without much enthusiasm.

"Eat your greens young lady or you'll never grow up big and strong," I said to Yui in a fatherly tone. Yui scowled playfully, before stuffing salad into her mouth and pulling a face. "And none that attitude or you'll get no pudding," I added with a stern gaze.

Both of them giggled and Yukino said, "somehow I can't imagine you ever telling your little girl off, Hikigaya. I'm sure you'd let her get away with murder, now she's got you wrapped around her tiny little finger."

I scoffed, "I am perfectly capable of disciplining her if necessary, though she is rarely more than a little monkey." I became suddenly aware of the way Yui was smiling as she gazed at me with her chin rested on cupped hands and a slight sparkle in her eyes.

"Err, I'm sorry Yui," I stammered, "I wasn't thinking and just automatically started rambling on about Homura, without considering..." I trailed off as Yukino also looked distressed and started apologising too.

Yui blinked like she was waking from a dream, "What, no, it's fine Hikki," Yui said with a reassuring smile. "The last thing I want is for you to feel like you can't talk about her, I want to hear about Homura, I love hearing about her day."

"But..." I argued pointlessly, worried that all my prattling on about Homura was like twisting a knife in an old wound.

"Please Hikki," Yui pleaded with a painfully earnest smile.

I reluctantly agreed with her wishes and after some dithering, began to tell them about meeting up with Totsuka. The mood lightened as I told them about Homura's shy blushes and her new obsession with tennis.

"Well I hope she gets over our resident champion, before she's old enough to understand about him," chuckled Yukino.

Yui giggled, "I can just picture you trying to explain that to her Hikki, the poor little girl."

"I think I'll let Aunties Yui and Yukino handle that one," I said sardonically. Though Yui seemed little too pleased at the idea as she clapped, Yukino's smile just looked troubled.

With lunch finished along with my repertoire of Homura stories, the conversation began to lull into an awkward silence. Yui desperate to keep the conversation going, turned to Yukino and asked with a slightly scary smile. "So Yukino, you now know about my sorry life and we both know about Hikki's train wreck, how have things been going with you?"

As much as I disliked idle chatter, I had to admit I was curious myself. Yukino just looked uncomfortable under the spotlight as she said, "oh, I don't get much time anything else other than work, certainly nothing worth talking about."

"Oh come on Yukino, I want some girly gossip." said Yui excitedly. "What about boyfriends, there must be guys practically throwing themselves at an amazing woman like you?"

Yukino blushed, though her smile looked more like a grimace. "I've had," Yukino said haltingly, "offers. But they tend to be more interested in what comes with me, than actually getting to know me."

For a woman as rich, powerful and frankly beautiful as Yukino, I could see how difficult it could be to find love. At first glance she looked the very ideal of a modern Japanese businesswoman, calm and powerful with a great construction company at her command. I doubted many of her suitors had any interest in the shy, cat obsessed, Pan-San fan that hid behind her icy mask.

"You must know some decent guys though, Yukino?" Asked Yui. "You can't just assume they're only interested in your status and money, just because they're businessmen."

"But how can I know for sure, Yui?" Said Yukino with a forlorn shrug. "Being a successful in business is often about how well you can lie to get the deal you want. You'd be surprised at lengths some of these guys will go, especially if they think it'll give them a chance at winning the grand prize."

"Prize?" I asked with concern, imaging the kind of men Iroha used to schmooze with at business functions.

Yukino laugh darkly as she said haltingly, "there is, apparently, a substantial prize amongst the city's upper echelons, for the first guy to bed me."

Yui gasped in horror and my anger must have shown on my face as my eye began to twitch. Yukino sighed with resignation as she answered my growing rage with, "Don't worry Hikigaya, I've already fired and blacklisted everyone I could."

"I'd done worse than that." I growled clenching and unclenching my fists.

Yukino smiled with a hint of gratefulness, "I sure you would and so would have my father, if my mother and sister hadn't managed to calm him down. He wanted to cut a bloody path through Chiba when he found out, it took all my sister's charm to stop him."

I nodded with a proud smile as though this would have been the correct thing to do, while Yui seemed to be puzzling over something as she swished her glass of wine.

"Yukino?" Yui asked with drunken consternation, "When you say 'first to bed,' does that mean you're still..."

Yukino hand shot over Yui's mouth as she cried "Yui!" Yukino looked scandalised as she glanced at me with a rapidly reddening face. She regained her dignity and said formally, "Yui, I'd ask you kindly to not feed that man's perverted imagination, you know how he gets."

I pointlessly tried to cry my innocence while Yui giggled, "sorry Yukino, I forget how careful you have to be with him. As for your love life, try not to worry, I'm sure there must a few decent guys left in this town for us somewhere."

"Like who," Yukino said with dismissive wave, "I'm pretty sure all the gentlemen of Chiba have been taken."

"Well there's," Yui tapped her chin as she tried to think of someone. "There's some okay guys I see at the bar, I think Tobe is still single and I would say Totsuka, but he's more interested in playing with balls these days."

"Yui, don't be crass," scolded Yukino, cuffing the giggling Yui, before turning the conversation on her. "What about you, there's must be a good man around for you?" Yukino sipped at her wine delicately as she pondered the question, before grinning wickedly as she suggested. "What about that, Zaimokuza, he might need some brushing up and probably a good scrubbing down, also you might have to dress up on occasion, but he could be made decent."

Yui looked grossed out at the thought and they glanced at me with mischievous smiles as they began to run through a list of increasing obscure celebrities, acquaintances and distant relatives. The wine sending them into giggles as they scraped the bottom of the barrel of Japan's male population.

"It's no good Yui," said Yukino with a sigh. "All that's left to us is grumpy, rotten eyed old misers."

"Someone must know some decent men, what about Hikki?" Yui said with exasperation as she turned to meet my cynically raised eyebrow with a cheeky smile. "Hikki, do you know any nice guys?"

"I wouldn't know," I said with a dramatic sulk, " I'm a grumpy, rotten eyed old miser."

"Aww poor Hikki," said Yui with mock sympathy. "Maybe us girls are just going to have to face facts and do without men." Yui's face weaved forward as she said this until she was surprisingly close to Yukino. For a second in my mind's rotten eye, it felt like a lead into the two women kissing each other in some dodgy movie.

The wine was clearly stronger than I thought, as I imagined the background falling away to pink. Yui leaning in towards the wide eyed Yukino and gently brushing back her long black hair. Yukino's lips opening slightly as they almost touched Yui's and every other though evacuated my brain, while I was lost to the moment.

That moment broke as if in slow motion, when Yui's head turned to look at me and then suddenly burst into hysterical laughter. "Oh my god, look at his face!" Howled Yui mercilessly, pointing a quivering finger at me as she nearly toppled over.

Yukino blinked and looked confused as her cheeks flushed slightly. "What did I tell you I tell you about feeding Hikigaya's perverted imagination, Yui?" Snapped Yukino, trying to re-establish control of her decorum. "I mean look at that slack jawed gaze, he's completely useless now, you won't get a single intelligent thought out of him."

Yui pouted like a little girl and said, "but it's so fun teasing him."

I clicked my jaw shut my hand and said with a flounce, "you shouldn't imply stuff you don't intend to follow through with."

Yukino sighed even though she still looked a little unnerved. "I think that's quite enough teasing and also quite enough of this." She reached over and plucked the second nearly empty wine bottle away from Yui.

Yui went into an even more dramatic sulk, but her eyes were keeping a close eye on Yukino and I. For all her drunken tomfoolery, throughout the day Yui had been constantly watching the pair of us, assumedly judging our reactions to her and to each other. It reminded me of the few times I'd been invited to corporate events with Iroha and how she'd carefully watch clients whilst simultaneously being a perfect guest. While what Yui was doing didn't feel anywhere near as malicious as that, I had to wonder what she was looking for and whether she found any answers.

"I think it's time to get back to cleaning," said Yukino trying to regain her authority. "Some good hard labour should clear Hikigaya's perverted mind. He can finish out here, while we'll tackle your bedroom Yui."

Both Yui and I protested, so Yukino added. "Well I'd hate to leave this job half done and I do consider this a test of your skills Hikigaya, don't make me regret my generosity." Yui was still against it, so Yukino suggested, "Well if you'd rather Hikigaya cleaned your bedroom Yui, I'm sure he'd be happy to?"

Yui panicked and waved her hands in refusal, before stumbling off into her room, with Yukino sighing as she followed her in. Half listening to them talk as I cleaned, once I heard Yukino exclaim about the immodesty of Yui's underwear, I knew it was time drown them out with the vacuum cleaner.

I kept finding my eyes drifting to the photograph of Yui and her daughter, wondering what I would have done if had known at the time. As much I disliked the idea of being a White Knight, there was a part me that wished I could have ridden in and saved the day.

I'd be lying if the thought of claiming Yume as my own and raising her together with Yui didn't have appeal now. But would the me of yesteryear have done that, I wasn't so sure. It was hard to believe now, but at that time me and Iroha had been very much in love. Even if I had ignored the then fresh scars left by that last year of school, I doubted I would have dropped Iroha like that and the idea of Iroha looking after Yui's child was laughable.

All this pontificating was meaningless though, there was no time machine on the roof, I couldn't change the past out of some childish desire to be a hero. All of my talk of 'being there for her' sounded hollower every time I said it and seemed almost patronising now. She'd clearly been through hell, but had pulled herself out of it on her own without the need for my pathetic aid. Many took one look at Yui and saw her as a light headed bubbly girl, but she had an inner strength greater than mine and at times greater than Yukino's. I suppose the only thing I could do for her now was not to hold her back and give her the push she needed to keep on going forward, even I was left behind in the process.

A vibration in my pocket woke me from my idiotic mental ramblings and saw that it'd be soon time to pick up Homura from school. Crap, I'd lost track of time and it would now be a push to get there on time, I'd never been late yet and wasn't going to start now. I sighed and admired my dubious cleaning skills and knocked on Yui's bedroom door.

Yui answered looking a little uncomfortable as she tried to block the view of the unsurprisingly pink room. I don't know what she was so worried about, I'd spent years washing Iroha's underwear, whether they be skimpy lingerie or sturdy monthlies. I doubted anything would shock me as I glanced around the room where Yukino looked up curiously, though I did wonder what the tripod was for.

"Everything okay Hikki," asked Yui nervously.

"I've got to head off to go and pick up Homura," I answered apologetically. "Otherwise I'll be in big bad trouble."

Yui looked disappointed, but nodded in understanding. "Of course, I'd hate her to be stuck there waiting for you.

"Yeah, so thank you for having me," I said with the awkwardness of goodbyes, "especially that lunch, it was delicious."

"Thanks," Yui blushed, then glanced around the front room with a dramatic gasp. "And thank you for what you've done out here, it feels like a different room."

"It wasn't much," I shrugged even though I enjoyed the praise. I headed for the door and put on my shoes, hearing light footsteps behind me.

Yui pulled me around and hugged me, resting her head on my chest as she said in a quiet voice. "Also thank you for listening to my story earlier, I know it wasn't easy for you to hear, but it felt really good to finally tell you two about Yume."

"I only wish I could have done," I said with a pause as I searched for anything I could have done, "well something."

"I know you do, Hikki," Yui smiled sadly and before I could stop myself, my hand was gently stroking her hair. She rubbed her head against my hand like a cat, smiling wistfully as she did.

"Look Yui," I said softly, "It's not much but I'm probably going to need someone to babysit Homura at some point. If you want, I'd more than happy to have you look after her."

Yui looked up at me with shining eyes and I worried whether this was good idea or not. I hoped it would help her heal, though it could just as easily make her miss her own daughter even more. But it was the only thing I could think of as Yui whispered softly, "I'd like that."

We stayed in that moment until a light cough came from behind Yui and Yukino was standing there, looking awkwardly away as she pretended she hadn't been watching. "Yui," Yukino stammered, "I'm thinking I should probably go too, I've got some stuff to do. I could give you a lift Hikig..."

"Actually Yukino," interrupted Yui quickly brushing away my hand as she turned to her friend. "I was wondering if you would be able to stay a little longer, I was wanting to talk to you about something?"

Yukino looked like she wanted to say no, but reluctantly agreed, nervous about what Yui might want to talk to her about. I went to say I could find a way to stay too, but Yui cut me off with, "No Hikki, this is girl talk, no boys allowed." She gave a cheeky grin as I looked at her puzzled and Yukino looked slightly alarmed.

I shrugged and laughed, "fair enough, I'll be heading off now, see you both later." I waved as went out the door and they waved back, Yukino trying to get past Yui for a moment before giving up. They both ended up yelling to say, 'hi' to Homura for them and then with a final wave, Yui's front door closed. I was surprised at how sad I felt to leave them, but I didn't want to stay for 'girl talk.' I had overheard too much of such talk between Iroha and her friends, so I knew full well that there were some things men, just weren't meant to hear.

The next few days rumbled past without any event as they started to blur together and I would have missed the big day if wasn't for Yukino's near constant reminders. But now it had arrived as I stood outside the Yukinoshita corporate headquarters, staring up at the glass gleaming in the morning sunlight. Around me sharply suited employees streamed into the great glass doors, the thought of joining this daily grind repulsed part of me, but I had no choice. I took another look at the grand edifice, wondering if Yukino was looking down from on high for my arrival. So with a deep breath, I took a big step forward and headed down a side road, then into an unremarkable back door.

Even following the instructions Yukino had sent me, I still became lost amongst the labyrinthine corridors beneath the building. After staring for a while at identical concrete corridors lined with storerooms and ducts, a voice shouted from a side room. "Hey boy, are you this Hikigaya that's been dumped on me?"

A sour faced old man glared at me from a dingy locker room, I'm not sure why he thought I still was a boy, but he looked like anything under sixty was young compared to him. Readying myself to force a polite introduction, I quickly walked up to the man and bowed. "Good Morning, my name's Hikigaya Hachiman," I said in rapid formality. "The Yukinoshitas were kind enough to offer me this job and I hope..."

"Stuff it boy," The old man cut in harshly. "I don't care which of the Yukinoshita's butts you kissed to get here, just do what I tell you and we'll be fine." While I was amused by the thought of trying to kiss Yukino's bottom, the old man scowled as he hurled a brown set of overalls at me and ordered me to put them on. "I hope you at least have a vague idea of how to do this job." He sighed, though I just nodded since he didn't look the sort to be impressed by house husband qualifications.

Once I was suited up the old man, whose name turned out to be Ibuki, led me around the building instructing me on my tasks. Though I was officially a cleaner, it seemed we were used as general dogsbodies by the rest of building. Heavy lifting, minor repairs and just any kind of dirty work that needed doing.

Ikubi scolded my slowness, as I pushed a heavy trolley loaded with equipment after him, pointing out the jobs he wanted me to do as we went. They were all depressingly menial tasks, but I sucked in my pride and got on with them, aware that I was probably being tested. As I was struggling to replace a long fluorescent bulb, I noticed Haruno watching me with amusement. She gave me a little wave as she tried to hold in her laughter, before returning her attention to one of her minions.

Ibuki narrowed his eyes as I climbed back down and snarled, "Remember your place here boy, the Yukinoshitas may be your friends outside, but they're your bosses in here." I humbly agreed with a glance at Haruno, though she gave off her usual impression of friendly openness, there was no doubt of her superiority over those around her.

We left her behind as we went to deal with a problem bathroom on the fifth floor and I realised for all their academic qualifications, some here had little to no toilet training. I saw Ibuki smile for the first time as I got to work, even if it was only a sadistic one as I grimaced at the overflowing toilet bowl. Years of diaper changes had made me used to the worst the human body could throw at you, but this bathroom still was not a pleasant place to be.

As we left I heard a groan from Ibuki and I muttered, "oh god, here comes the circus." As along the corridor came another cleaner bopping his way to music on overly loud headphones, while he pushed a floor polisher. His lanky frame and long pushed back hair seemed familiar, but I couldn't place him, though his presence irritated me for some reason.

"Hi Pops, how's it going, whoa, is this the new guy?" said the newcomer rapidly as he took out a headphone filling the air with tinny music. He peered in to get an uncomfortably close look at my face, then suddenly jumped back to exclaim, "Holy shit, it's erm, Hikitani wasn't it?"

"Hikigaya," I said bluntly through gritted teeth, as my brain regretfully remembered Kakeru Tobe, one of my former classmates from school.

"So the Yukinoshita's got you a job here too?" Tobe asked excitedly before answering himself with, "Well I guess they would. Hayato convinced them to give me this sweet gig, certainly pays off knowing the bosses, right?"

"Indeed," I answered with withering patience.

"Yeah, well," Tobe stammered as he nervously ran out of steam. "Anyway I was just heading to lunch; see you guys later."

Ibuki and myself watched him go, as we both said, "Idiot" in unison. To which Ibuki added, "but at least he knows it's lunch time, see you in half an hour." Ibuki pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and disappeared into the stairwell without a backwards glance. I breathed a sigh of relief as I pushed the cart into a corner and headed up stairs.

Yukino had sent a message earlier requesting my presence in her office for lunch. So after a quick elevator ride, I stood at Yukino's secretary's desk being given suspicious looks by her nearby staff, before being ushered into my new boss's sanctum.

Yukino was behind her desk, pushing her hair behind her ears as she rose to greet me and smiled. As she started to walk towards me the phone rang and she grimaced, her shoulders slumping as she looked at the caller display. Yukino gave me an apologetic look, so I motioned her to take the call and with a sigh she flumped into her chair to answer.

As Yukino's irritated tone filled the room, I looked out at the city from the Yukinoshita's ivory tower. In the distance I could just make out the white concrete of Homura's school and wondered if she was enjoying her lunch break. Outside the city looked quite serene, but in here the black rage was oozing from Yukino as she searched through a pile of papers, for some vital bit of information. Feeling a little awkward just standing there as Yukino argued with the caller and harassed her computer, I brewed some tea which Yukino gratefully accepted without looking away from the screen.

Yukino waved her hand at a small fridge in the bottom of a cupboard and I found two bento boxes neatly placed on a shelf. Pulling them out I was amused to see a cat logo on the lid and placed one next to Yukino, who was really starting to lose patience with the caller. Opening the bento, I was unsurprised to see a cat theme to the layout of the various morsels. I wondered if Yukino was just being courteous or whether her flirting techniques were stuck at middle school, but in the end I was too hungry to care. Rapidly wolfing it down, as Yukino absentmindedly picked at hers, getting rice on her desk and suit. I returned to idling around the office and started randomly cleaning things, until Yukino shooed me away from the chaotic pile of papers on her desk.

My own phone buzzed with an emoji filled message from Yui, asking how my first work day was going. I replied that it was going well and that was just having lunch with Yukino. Yui responded with a suggestion that we come to her bar after we finished. I said I'd see how I was at the end of the day. There was also a stream of ignored messages from Hiratsuka, all roughly stating that just because I was working now, that I wasn't excused from my coursework. I sighed as I saw the time and realised it was time to go back on shift. I silently signalled this to Yukino and she mouthed apologies dejectedly as I left with a whispered thank you for the lunch.

The day continued on much a before and I was surprised how tiring it was, by the time I finished I wasn't up for seeing Yui at the bar and just went straight home. After that I fell into the working pattern, knowing the bosses had the advantage of allowing me to haggle more convenient working hours. Working shorter days when I had Homura and every conceivable hour when I didn't, trying to rack up all the extra pay I could.

As weeks passed I stopped visiting Yukino at lunch, it was pointless as the snow under snow was always snowed under with work. My own wasn't too bad I guess, as the variety in tasks stopped it from being completely soul destroying, not that they were particularly pleasant tasks though. The thing that irked me the most, was Yukino's personal staff. At first I'd thought they only seemed lackadaisical because I only saw them on their lunch break, but as time went on, it became clear that they were always like that. I tried talking to Yukino about it, but she'd always brush it away with talk of that she didn't have time or that human resource issues were more her sister's department. Still it angered me to see her secretary filing her nails as Yukino dealt with another idiot that could have been fobbed off on to anyone in the office.

Though it seemed her staff had noticed my dislike for them, especially the proud looking men in suits, who spent their working hours trying to establish who was the most alpha of alpha males. Strutting about in front of their female co-workers like peacocks on parade, rather than proving their metal through hard work. Heck, even Tobe worked harder as he restocked a water cooler, while casually chatting with one of the office girls. The fact that their boss liked seeing me and that I was able to talk to Yukino without any formalities, seemed to really grate on them. It seemed ridiculous in this day and age to see guys intimidated by having a female boss, but that was the impression I was getting, from their ill-disguised contempt. I didn't particularly care what they thought of me, but I was concerned that my continued visits might widen the void between Yukino and her staff, only increasing the pressure on her.

So I set about a little plan that hopefully wouldn't seem like much, but would ripple through into making her staff close ranks to support their boss. It was an old trick, but as an old dog now, I knew no better ones and I had to something before I lost it with them. The opportunity presented itself a few days later, when I saw Yukino's secretary enter the elevator for another cigarette break. I quickly followed, holding my inactive phone to my ear like a mad man on the run from a mysterious organisation.

I ignored the secretary as she narrowed her eyes at me, pretending to be listening to my imaginary caller. Then a loudly laughed, "Don't worry, they're so lazy and she's so stressed, all it'll take is the right words at the right time, then well, you know." I pretended to laugh at a joke on the other end, before saying goodbye and hanging up.

I'd tried to keep it as vague as possible so to give myself some degree of plausible deniability, I just hoped the secretary was smart enough to catch on. But I needn't have worried, the disgusted glare the secretary gave me as she walked out, told me everything I needed to know. I gave her one of my most disturbing of cheerful smiles and her walk became a trot as she vanished into the lobby.

Even I surprised how quickly my few words took to take effect, the following day my presence was met with dark eyes from her majority of Yukino's staff. Her secretary with ill-concealed contempt barred my entrance to Yukino's office, claiming she was busy and could accept no visitors. I shrugged as if it was no big deal and wandered off, pleased by the overly loud sound of clattering keyboards and business like phone calls.

I hoped they were now taking at least some of the load of Yukino's shoulders, because it was now impossible for me to see her. If the secretary didn't stop me, then her staff would find some excuse or task that I would have to deal with instead. Seeing her outside the office was always a rare sight, with even seasoned employees stopping and staring at her like they'd seen a unicorn. The stares exacerbated Yukino's already unnerved demeanour as she gracefully hurried through the building to some big meeting, blinking like a mole in sunlight. I tended to keep out of sight if I saw her, as she would become flustered as she tried to decide whether to stop and talk to me, making things very awkward for the both of us.

So I just let things be, Yukino sounded a little less stressed, though not that much happier in the few messages we exchanged. Also admittedly lunchtime was a lot less pleasant, now that I spent them listening to Ibuki complain in the musty basement locker room, while Tobe prattled away in his idiotic way of talking. It wasn't until a week or so later that the ripples of my plan reached the wrong ears.

I was cleaning up a meeting room after what seemed to have been a very hectic and cookie filled business exchange. When I heard the door click behind me and turned to see a very angry Haruno bearing down on me. Before I had time to escape, she grabbed me by the collar and brought my terror stricken face an inch from her terrifying own.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing?" Haruno snarled at me. "Why am I hearing rumours about a disreputable looking janitor trying to win that accursed bet on my sister's chastity?"

I swallowed as I tried to formulate my denial, but Haruno had more to say as she spat. "I really hope that's not true Hikigaya, because if you're even thinking of going after that money, I will fire you." She paused for breath and pointed straight at the Chiba skyline, "straight out that fucking window."

There was a long pause as my fear turned to anger, I didn't care what those idiotic peons thought of me. But I thought someone who knew me a little better, would never believe I was that kind of man. I pulled myself up to my full height, that wasn't that much taller than her and looked straight into her eyes. "I would never touch that money even if it was thrown at me," I spat. "When Yukino mentioned that shit, I wanted to find them and throw them out of windows. I know I don't have much of your respect, but think I deserve to be thought of higher than that."

Haruno blinked in surprise, but relaxed a little as she sat back awkwardly on a table. "Then why am I hearing talk of you bragging about it then?" Haruno said with exasperation. I explained what I'd done and Haruno shook her head, her perfectly styled hair loosening slightly. "Hikigaya," she sighed, "do not try play the gossip game around here, you will lose."

"Well, I wouldn't have to, if you hired competent staff for Yukino," I snapped back.

"I do," bristled Haruno as I clearly hit a nerve, "you wouldn't believe the time I put in searching the country for the best of the best to help her."

"Then why can't these 'best' be bothered to do any work?" I asked with a jab of my finger.

"Because, Yukino won't let them," hissed Haruno with a roll of her eyes." She gets paranoid about everything being perfect and double checks everything they do, refusing to delegate in case they screw up. So they stopped bothering and just hand everything straight to her, I mean why do it, if she's going to do it again anyway."

I sighed as I knew Haruno was right, the workaholic Yukino would take on everything in the quest for perfection, especially with the pressure from her family on top. "They could still do something, "I snapped, "even those idiots can't be blind to how close she is to meltdown?"

"I'm glad to hear you speak so loyally Hikigaya, I wish I could put you by Yukino's side." Haruno smiled at an amusing thought, then sighed as she brushed my uniform, "but we have to go through this farce."

"It's not my loyalty that's the problem, it's her staff's," I pointed out with irritation. "At least my plan had them unite..."

"Yes, against the dastardly villain Hikigaya Hachiman, I know," cut in Haruno with a laugh. "Your plans don't get any more original do they?"

"Well it works doesn't it?" I said with an insolent shrug.

Yes, I suppose it does," Haruno sighed through gritted teeth, closing her eyes for a moment. "But at what cost?"

"Cost?" I said dismissively, "So some people think I'm an arsehole, what else is new."

Haruno seemed to be losing her patience as she barked, "but it's not about just you Hikigaya is it, how do you think my sister would feel if she thought for even a second that you were interested in that money?"

"Yukino knows I'm not like that and I'd tell her what I did if she had any doubts," I proclaimed. "

"I don't think that would make things any better," Haruno sighed with frustration. "You know how she hates you doing your villain shtick, not to mention how it looks to her employees."

"I doubt they care about what I do with Yukino, it's just the latest bit of gossip," I sneered. "They'll get tired of it soon, once they realise nothing juicy is going on."

Haruno was uncomfortably close to me, her eyes looking at little wild as she tapped my chest with a manicured nail. "This isn't school anymore Hikigaya, 'gossip' as you call it doesn't just go away and did you really think no one knows who are?"

"The minute the now ex-husband of a high ranking government employee stepped into my sister's office the rumour mills started turning," Haruno said with a roll of her eyes." Yukino's love life or more correctly the lack of it, is always a hot topic thanks to that stupid bet. I'd been expecting to deal with some bullshit about you two, but I wasn't expecting you to stick your foot in it quite this bad."

"If you were that worried about a few nattering busybodies, why in the hell did you agree to give me this job?" I pointed out.

Haruno sighed and looked out the window as she said, "I admit, I had my reservations, as did mother. But I hadn't seen Yukino this enthused, about well anything that wasn't cat related in a long time. Father gave in on the spot after seeing that and it'd didn't take long for him to convince the rest of us. Having you here means a lot to Yukino, but if this crap gets out of control I will have to fire you to protect her."

I felt troubled by what Haruno told me and said in calmer tone. "Okay, look I'll keep my distance from Yukino and try to dispel any rumours from my end."

"Thank you Hikigaya," Haruno smiled. "I'm just asking you to be careful, but please don't be too distant from her, that would do more harm than good. I mean will you at least think about how it would look if anything did happen between you, because if that's never going to happen, I need to know now."

"I… err… well," I stammered as I caught off guard by Haruno's directness." I'm not sure I'm up to anything like that right now, not to mention that I don't think Yukino has the time for that kind of thing these days.

Haruno chuckled, "Fair enough, sorry that was a bit blunt, but I needed to know for her sake. Though you are right about Yukino being overworked, I'll try talking to her and our parents, see if we can sort something out. I need her to be in tip top shape, since there's going to be some changes soon and I need to know she can cope."

I studied Haruno carefully and asked with a nod towards her slightly rotund belly, "is it anything to do with that?"

Haruno's chuckled, "you certainly quicker on the uptake than my sister, though I guess you do have some experience in such matters."

Which was true, it had been a strange yet wonderful experience watching Homura grow inside Iroha. Iroha had enjoyed it for the most part, though when she got to the last month or so, she was sick of it and just wanted to hurry up to the birth. Haruno was nowhere near that far along, I tried to mentally guess, but have up and just asked.

"Still a good five or so months to go," Haruno sighed, patting the bulge in her suit jacket. "I'd wanted to work up until the last minute, but father will have none of it and insists I stay at home, away from any additional stress."

"That's probably wise," I agreed sagely. "We had a nasty scare after a particularly bad day at work nearly sent Iroha into early labour and this place is far worse for the nerves than hers."

Haruno shook her head and sighed, "you fathers are such worry warts."

"We wouldn't need to be if it weren't for daughters being such bundles of trouble." I said and checked the time. "Speaking of which I need to get going a pick up mine."

Haruno nodded with a smile, "of course, thank you for being understanding about this idiotic mess. Just keep your head down and keep to your job. Though please don't cut off all contact with Yukino, I need you to be still there for her, just keep it low key."

"Thank you for not firing me on the spot and for I guess giving me this job for that matter in the first place," I said gratefully. "I will find a way to repay all your generosity somehow."

"If things work out the way I want them, you will," she said enigmatically. "But in the meantime I do have a little favour to ask of you."

"What do you want me to do?" I asked apprehensively and Haruno laughed.

"Not much, I just need you to follow me out looking very penitent," Haruno said with an amused smile. "As if I've given you a right drubbing down.

"Seriously," I said incredulously.

"It's the best way I can repair the immediate situation without firing you," Haruno stated. "Just be good little boy and play along."

I reluctantly agreed and followed her out with my head bowed, I could feel the amused eyes of gawking employees watching me as I slunk behind Haruno like a naughty child. I gritted my teeth until we reached the elevator and let out a long sigh as the doors closed.

"Good boy," Haruno laughed as she patted me on the head. I scowled at her and stepped out of hands reach, as the elevator descended. "See you later Hikigaya," Haruno smiled as we reached her floor. "I hope Homura is enjoying school, I will be very pleased if this one turns out half as cute as she is." She gave her bump a tender rub and disappeared off with a smile, whilst I headed off to collect my daughter.

It turned out she hadn't had a good day, as I was lead into the classroom to see my daughter sulking in front of the teacher's desk, glaring at the world with narrow dark eyes. The teacher explained that Homura had been fighting with another girl, leading to this girl being sent to the nurse's office. I asked Homura if this was true with a serious tone, watching her reaction closely.

Homura nodded guiltily, but then went into a long-winded if determined explanation of how this girl had been calling her names and so forth until they'd both ended fighting. Homura was very insistent that it was the other girl that had started it, with nothing in her tone or the fierce look in her eyes saying otherwise.

Whilst I was happy with Homura's version of events, the teacher was less convinced, so I gave Homura some tripe about telling the teacher rather than fighting. While I didn't want my daughter getting into fights, I also wanted her to stand her ground and yeah, I admit I was secretly proud that Homura had won.

I explained to the teacher that since I was sure that the other girl was to blame, Homura didn't deserve any punishment and led my daughter out before the teacher could argue otherwise. Once we were out of sight of the school, I knelt down a turned Homura around so that I could have a proper look at her. Her eyes were red from tears, behind her bedraggled hair, numerous scrapes on her arms and knees marked that must have been a ferocious battle. I pulled at the torn uniform as a sucked at my teeth and Homura looked guilty.

"How you doing slugger?" I asked her with kind smile and Homura tried to hold on to a brave face. But it broke as she burst into tears and I gathered my daughter into my arms, carrying her home crying against my shoulder. At home I gave Homura a bath and worried as she winced at the hot water touching her grazes. Wondering if she'd get any bruises and whether to find that girl's father, so that I give him a few.

She seemed in better spirits after the bath and dinner, half dozing under the kotatsu as she watched magical girls save the world on TV. Yukino was sending me messages asking if Homura would want to go to Destinyland, since Yukino could get us all in on her ViP pass and there was some new Pan-San ride opening soon or something. I agreed easily since there was no way I could afford to take Homura myself. Though I didn't dare tell my daughter right now or she'd want to go immediately and certainly wouldn't go to bed.

Speaking of bedtime, it was nearly hers and like clockwork my phone rang with Iroha's name flashing on the screen. A sleepy voice murmured "mummy" and dragged itself over to me, grasping for the phone. I let Homura talk to her mother as she got into bed and goodnights were wished, before I took the phone back.

Iroha was surprised to hear my voice as walked into the other room and told her about Homura's fight, thinking she'd want to know. Iroha thanked me and seemed relieved that it wasn't Homura that started it, though she still thought I'd been too soft on our daughter. I scoffed at such a notion and Iroha laughed, before asking how I was. But I wasn't in the mood for small talk so I said goodnight and hung up.

Some days later I tore through the streets of Chiba in desperation, I'd just finished work, but Yukino had been insistent that I help her with a request and I was now late for college. I managed to arrive only ten minutes late and made a big show of being out of breath, but her frown, Hiratsuka wasn't appeased.

"Sorry I'm late, Service Club duties," I said automatically between breaths, before remembering that I wasn't in school anymore.

Hiratsuka blinked in surprised confusion and said, "just get to your seat Hikigaya, with a wave towards my old desk position. I walked to my new desk and sat down as Hiratsuka continued with her lesson.

I tried to pay attention, but I was tired from work and my enthusiasm for the course had waned. I mainly stayed because of how insistent Hiratsuka was about my attendance and how scared I was of her reaction if I quit. Hiratsuka's voice went on and I found myself starting to doze as I looked towards the evening sun, the pink sky reminding me of my daydream of Yukino and Yui almost kissing. I was so lost to this nirvana, that I barely noticed the lesson end and only vaguely registered someone standing in front of me.

"You're thinking of something perverted aren't you Hikigaya?" Whispered a seductive voice in my ear. I turned my head towards the speaker and if I hadn't been thinking perverted thoughts before, I would have now, as I got a face full of Hiratsuka's illustrious cleavage. I watched her chest flush red at the same time as my face and Hiratsuka stood up looking pleased with herself.

"Since not only were you late, but also spent the entire lesson daydreaming, I think you should stay behind and help me clean up," said Hiratsuka with a smile.

"Fine," I sighed since I'd been expecting this, "What do you want me to do?"

Hiratsuka enjoyed herself as she ordered me around the room, relishing the sight of me straightening chairs and sweeping the floor. "You really have mastered the whole house husband thing, haven't you Hikigaya?" Said Hiratsuka with amusement, "maybe I'll have to take you home and have you clear out a few of my cobwebs."

"I gave Yui's a good going over the other day and I was fiddling with something for Yukino earlier," I said irritably as I cleaned. "I suppose it wouldn't be too much a change to do yours to."

Hiratsuka blinked with a worried expression as she tried to puzzle something out. "So you were doing Service Club duties?" She asked hesitantly.

"Well no, I said that out of instinct earlier, sorry," I said with a shrug. "I was over Yui's with Yukino a while back and somehow ended up cleaning the place. Then today Yukino's coffee machine was clogged and she asked me to have a look. I suppose they were duties of a sort, if you want to think of them like that."

"So you three have been having a nice time chatting together like the old days?" Asked Hiratsuka casually, though I thought I caught a hint of a sulk in her voice.

"Well I wouldn't call it a nice chat, but it was good to talk to each other properly." I said hesitantly, not wanting to say anything that they might not want our old teacher to know. I put away the broom and asked Hiratsuka with a reluctant sigh, "is there anything else that needs doing?"

Hiratsuka came out of her thoughts and cheerfully patted a couple of boxes. "You could help me put these boxes away." I sighed as I picked them up followed her to the storeroom, whilst she made platitudes about 'having a strong man around' and the like. She seemed jittery and unusually nervous as she opened the door for me, watching me go in to deposit the boxes. Then I heard the door close and the sudden click of the lock.

The sound put me on alert as I turned around to see Hiratsuka, mere inches from me, as she purred, "hello Hachiman."

My shock at hearing my first name, was nothing to the surprise at how open her shirt was. Her bosom, lovingly cupped in ornate black bra with deep purple ribbon highlighting the edges, filling my vision.

"Do you like what you see?" She murmured and I gave a nervous laugh as I forced myself to look up into her surprisingly anxious eyes.

"Shizuka please," I forced out in a hoarse whisper, struggling to not lose myself in the moment. Hiratsuka shushed me and then leant forward and kissed me. In that moment I realised just how long it had been since I'd been this intimate with anyone and as I kissed her back, for some reason I was surprised how soft her lips were.

Deep down I knew how wrong this was, that this would only end up being a mistake, but it was hard to think past the animal within. Hiratsuka made a guttural giggle as she pressed herself against me and I struggled to maintain any kind of conscious thought. We kissed for what seemed like hours, but as I focusing every last bit of willpower I had, I placed my hand firmly on the centre of her chest and slowly pushed Hiratsuka away.

She pushed back with a dismayed whimper and I said firmly, "No Shizuka, not like this."

Hiratsuka made a final half-hearted lunge, before accepting defeat and collapsing back onto a pile of boxes. She slumped there like a broken marionette, everything about her seeming to age in an instant, as her face lay hidden behind her long dark hair.

"Am I really that horrible?" She asked in a choked whisper. "Am I such a repulsive old hag, that you can't stand being with me?"

"No it's not…" I stammered searching for the words to explain my reasons, even if I wasn't sure what those reasons were.

"If you finish that sentence with 'it isn't you it's me,' I will kill you Hikigaya," Hiratsuka growled. "Do you know how many times I've heard that line?"

I stuttered trying to assemble a more meaningful explanation and with a deep breath I closed my eyes to say haltingly. "What would this have meant to you, Shizuka?" I opened my eyes, looking into the ones that were filled with so much pain and anger. "Because at the moment I can't handle another relationship, anything that happened would just be a rebound fuck or a quick fling. Is that what you want?"

Hiratsuka looked down and laughed bitterly as she sighed, "I suppose I should be used to it by now."

"Well you definitely deserve better than that and you certainly deserve better than a fumble in a cupboard, with some rotten eyed idiot." I said hoping the self-deprecation would bring a little cheer to her.

It failed as she buried her face in her hands and groaned, "I'm such a fuck up. I had this all planned out like some crappy movie, but I hadn't counted on the great Hikigaya Hachiman having a shred of honour."

Her dark laugh was unnerving me in this confined space and I wondered what kind of movies she had been watching to get this idea. I hadn't been aware I still had any honour left either, but somehow Hiratsuka seemed to think so.

"I certainly don't feel like an honourable man right now," I said downcast. "I mean it when I say I can't handle a relationship so soon. I am dealing with too many things right now and it would just end up with you getting hurt."

I gave her what hoped was a positive smile, but Hiratsuka was looking down at her fidgeting fingers. "Do the girls know this or are they exempt and this 'sentiment' is just for me?" She asked with an anger in her voice.

"This isn't an excuse, Shizuka," I said firmly. "It's the same for them as it is for you."

Hiratsuka looked up and her tear stained eyes met mine as she said quietly, "but have you told them this?"

I looked guiltily away and shook my head as I said. "It's not exactly an easy thing to bring up, I don't want to wreck everything, just when we're starting to talk normally again."

"I get that," Hiratsuka said smiling for the first time in what seemed like ages. "But they need to hear that or you know what will happen." I grimaced at the truth as Hiratsuka continued with pleading eyes, "promise me you'll tell them Hikigaya. I don't think I could handle going through that again, let alone what it would do to the three of you."

"Sometimes I think since all I can do is hurt people," I sighed. "Maybe it'd better if I cut you all off now rather than wait for the inevitable."

"Don't be ridiculous, Hikigaya," scolded Hiratsuka angrily.

"Ridiculous?" I snapped suddenly, "This whole thing is ridiculous. Are you seriously trying to tell me that I'm worthy of the attention of you three, because I most certainly am not. I'm not some chump in a harem series with mystical powers of sexual magnetism, heck I can't even claim to be just an ordinary guy. I'm the real fuck up around here and I don't know where you three get the idea I'm anything but that."

Breathing heavily after my tirade, right now I wanted to get out of here, but Hiratsuka still blocked the door. I went to push past, but she put a hand out to stop me, as she came out of her thoughts. "You may be a fuck up Hikigaya, but you're a better man than you know, " she said with a tender smile. "We can all see that and if anything Homura is proof of that, I just wish you'd believe that if only for a moment."

"I think Iroha would disagree with you on that," I said bitterly. "I beginning to think it might be worth you lot talking to her, just so she can break whatever illusions you have of me."

"Iroha," started Hiratsuka with irritation, before calming herself. "I don't think she knew the real you either."

I laughed darkly, "I think after so many years of marriage she'd have a better idea than any of you. Do you think you know the 'real' me after the short time we've known each other. I don't know where you get the impression that I'm anything other than a rotten eyed old arsehole, because that's the real me. This other Hachiman you think you knew, never existed or if he did, died a long time ago."

"You know, I really regret the whole 'rotten eyed' thing," Hiratsuka said quietly, "It's dogged you for far too long."

"It's a little late to regret that," I said nastily and Hiratsuka flinched. Looking down at her long fingers and rubbing the yellow nicotine stains.

"I know, but you're wrong when you think that good man inside you has gone Hikigaya," she said to her fingers. "I see him every time you talk about Homura, every time you worry about the girls. Heck I saw him just now when you turned me down, rather than hurt me. I don't know who Iroha saw, but maybe she sees the truth of it now you're gone."

"You hold me in way too high regard," I laughed, "I think you've forgotten the kind of guy I really am."

"Maybe," Hiratsuka said with smile, "I'd certainly forgotten how frustrating you are to deal with. I also forget that you've been through a lot and that you're not the school boy I once knew."

"Considering what almost happened, you probably shouldn't say that kind of thing." I said with a wry smile.

Hiratsuka buried her face in hands again. "Please don't say it like that, this sounded like such a good idea in my head. Trust me to find the one student that didn't have a thing for teachers."

"I wouldn't say that," I coughed in stage murmur, causing her to blush and shake her silky long black hair. To be honest Hiratsuka was the kind of woman that caused teacher fetishes, rather than just answered them. Back at school there were few guys that hadn't thought about Hiratsuka Sensei that way at some point. The Christmas Cake obsessed Zaimokuza could be barely handle being in her presence and even Hayato's cool could be flustered when she unleashed her charm.

The sound of class ending next door brought both of us back to reality and we both looked awkwardly at each other.

"Well this didn't exactly go how I imagined it would." Hiratsuka said with a sigh. "Though I should I guessed it would, relying on someone as dense as you, Hikigaya."

I'm sorry, Shizuka," I said with remorse. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm sure I'll be kicking myself for the rest of eternity."

"I hate to admit it," Hiratsuka said regretfully, "but you probably did the right thing. Though if you ever do feel like kicking yourself, let me know and I'll do it for you." She gave a menacing grin, then to my alarm rushed forward, but only to give me another lighter kiss on the lips. "At least I know some parts of you like me," Hiratsuka whispered seductively with a wink and I blushed like a guiltily.

Seemingly more buoyant, Hiratsuka turned and went to open the door. Before she could open it I realised something and cried, "Shizuka!"

She turned expectantly and raised an eyebrow, "Yes Hikigaya?"

I blushed again and pointed down as I said simply, "your shirt."

Hiratsuka looked down and blushed in surprise as she realised it was still unbuttoned to the navel. "Thank you Hikigaya, that could have been embarrassing," She chuckled as she did the buttons. She gave her considerable chest a wiggle and muttered to herself with a smile, "this really is an amazing bra."

I couldn't have agreed more as I felt a pang of regret as her bosom disappeared behind her shirt. Hiratsuka coughed and straightened herself out, then eased the door open to check if the coast was clear. Satisfied, she slipped out and waved for me to follow with army style wiggle of her fingers.

We collected our bags and coats, heading down long corridors until we exited the building. My inner demons were already screaming about how big an idiot I was, as I paused outside in the cool evening air, giving Hiratsuka time to light up a cigarette. But she carried on walking with a smug strut towards the car park, shouting hoarsely back, "nope, no more of those for me."

I caught up so I could give my approval and Hiratsuka confessed to thinking that I wouldn't want a smoker around Homura. I affirmed that view and she seemed reinvigorated, though her fingers were constantly twitching with the jitters. Hiratsuka offered me a lift home in her car and I looked at the dented old Aston Martin dubiously. Trying to decide whether skipping the long walk home was worth the risk of Hiratsuka's driving.

Hiratsuka must have seen my reluctance and sighed, "Don't worry I'll keep my hands to myself."

"I'd rather you kept them on the wheel," I said without thinking.

As she cuffed me about the head Hiratsuka said grumpily, "Hikigaya, you don't get to say things like that after turning me down. Now are you getting in or not?"

"Fine," I sighed and climbed into the passenger seat, knocking coffee cups into the foot well. Hiratsuka sat and drank in the smell of stale cigarette smoke, before keying the ignition and tightly gripping the wheel. The car's engine sounded a little unhealthy as Hiratsuka backed out of the parking space dramatically and we sped off into the gathering dusk.

She was delighting in driving recklessly, glancing over with a grin to see how uncomfortable I was. I tried to remain nonchalant and not encourage her childish behaviour, as my fingers dug into the dashboard. Hiratsuka made small talk, but I was too tired and just gave vague answers, only caring about the directions I had to give her. Due to Hiratsuka's driving it didn't take long for us to reach my dark apartment. I was anxious to get inside and phone Homura before she went to bed, so I wasn't impressed when Hiratsuka grabbed my wrist to stop me leaving.

"I suppose I should thank you for not completely freaking out earlier," Hiratsuka said quietly. "I imagine that must have been very awkward for you."

"I know I should thank you for being understanding about my idiocy" I said giving her a half smile. "I think if there's one thing we take from today, is that we are both complete fuck ups."

Hiratsuka laughed, "I never thought I'd meet someone who was more of mess than me until I ran into you again, Hachiman."

"Well I glad I'm at least of some good to you." I said ruefully.

"You're better to me than I deserve," she said patting my arm. "Just promise me you'll tell the girls what you told me, they need to hear it from you."

I gave her a forlorn smile and said, "I will, don't worry."

"Also Hikigaya," Hiratsuka said blushing violently as she looked more awkward than she had for the entire evening. "When you and the girls meet up to do things," She paused again her eyes darting about anxiously, "could I err, come too. It'd be nice to hang out with you guys again and…" She trailed off, while I felt embarrassed for her as she gave a cringing smile.

"If you want to hang out with the cool crew," I said sarcastically, "you're asking the wrong people."

"You do know how to twist the knife, don't you?" She said dejectedly. "I just thought it would be nice, you kn…"

"It's fine with me," I said with a sigh, "though you'll have to ask Yukino and Yui yourself."

"Thanks, Hikigaya," Hiratsuka smiled. "Thanks for giving an old lady a bit your time."

"You're not that old, Shizuka," I said encouragingly, though still had no idea how old she actually was, but I still sane enough never to ask.

She smiled gratefully as I thanked her while climbing out of the car. I shut the door with another thank you, wondering if Hiratsuka knew the contradiction between her desire from friendship and desire for love. By the troubled smile on her face as she waved me away, I think she knew all too well. I sighed as I watched her tail lights disappear amongst the traffic, wondering what I was going to do with yet another woman I'd messed up.

My apartment felt empty as dropped my bag and immediately dialled Iroha's phone. After a few to many rings, Iroha picked saying, "There you are Hachiman, I was just putting her to bed."

The constant background cry of, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy," brought a smile to my face. Iroha made a sigh and handed the phone to our daughter, the sudden change in volume as Homura took the phone, nearly deafening me. Once she calmed down I understood that they'd been singing at school and Homura proceeded to give a cute, if tuneless rendition of one of the songs. I gave her a round of applause and Homura was about to launch into a second number, when a tired sounding Iroha told her no more.

After some grumbling, Iroha got Homura into bed and I wished my daughter many good nights. With a final "night night Daddy" ringing in my ears, I blew a kiss down the phone and hung up. I put the phone down as the silence of my home became deafening, so I too went to bed.

The following day started out as normal until I reached work and then it was pandemonium, as staff members were rushing everywhere. I looked through the glass of the entrance lobby in confusion, only to meet Ibuki's angry face glaring back at me. As I went inside he bore down on me, thrusting the handle of a floor polisher into my hands.

"Where the hell have you been?" Ibuki snapped, "we need this place to fucking sparkle."

I looked across the lobby as cleaners and staff cleaned everything in sight. Security staff stretched their limbs and straightened their uniforms, trying to look as professional as possible as they tried to keep an eye on all the people.

"What the hell is going on?" I said, still trying to wrap my mind around the mayhem, watching Tobe fervently cleaning the windows with a panicked expression.

"Surprise inspection," said Ibuki breathlessly as he pushed a mop, "Mr and Mrs Yukinoshita are on their way."

The colour drained from my face and I pushed the polisher around with greater gusto, dodging between rushing legs as sweat started to pour off me. A couple of minutes later a shout went up and every head turned to see a black Mercedes-Benz pulling up outside. At the same time Yukino and Haruno strode in, flanked by the various heads of department, other staff lining up alongside like a military parade.

There wasn't time to get us cleaners and our equipment clear, so we just lined up at the back trying to look inconspicuous. I certainly had no desire to fall under the chilling gaze of Yukino's mother, she disliked me ten years ago, so I didn't want to know what she thought of me now.

Outside the driver of the Mercedes-Benz emerged from the car and went to open the far passenger door, but was thrown back as Yukino's father shoved the door open himself. The flustered driver hurriedly opening the car's trunk and awkwardly lifting out a wheelchair, unfolding it on the pavement. Meanwhile Yukino's father walked around to the nearside of the car and opened the rear door.

Mr Yukinoshita in contrast to his daughters was a huge man, despite his advancing years, the physique born from literally building this company into the powerhouse it was today, was still in evidence. He tenderly lifted the slim figure of his wife out into the wheelchair, elbowing the driver aside to push the wheelchair himself.

Everyone inside was watching this in apprehensive silence, Yukino was standing ram rod straight, looking the epitome of dignity as she waited for her parents to enter. I wondered if anyone else noticed how tightly she clenched her fists as she fought her nerves into submission. She glanced at me and I gave her little reassuring smile, which seemed to centre her as she gave a slight smile back. This little exchange went unnoticed by everyone but Haruno, who tried to hide her amusement behind her hand.

Two security guards smoothly opened the great glass doors and the Yukinoshita's rolled in, to be greeted by their daughters. They exchanged pleasantries and Yukino's father roughly shook the hand of a sharp suited, if rather nervous man at Haruno's side, who I presumed was Haruno's fiancée. Then the senior Yukinoshitas wheeled around to the centre of the lobby and prepared to give a speech.

Yukino father started with an uplifting talk on profits and pride, his gruff paternal voice carrying easily to lift the spirits of the listeners. He then dropped the first bombshell with the formal announcement of Haruno's pregnancy, he smiled tenderly at his eldest daughter as she rubbed her bump and her fiancée held his head up high. Judging from the quick excited whispers, this was more a confirmation than a surprise, since Haruno hadn't exactly been hiding it. The only person who didn't seem happy was Yukino, who looked down as she became lost in thought. She glanced sidelong at me, perhaps curious to see my reaction, so I gave her another slight smile, but she didn't return it.

Yukino's father then turned to look at his younger daughter as she looked up. He asked his assembled employees to support her while her sister went on leave. His dropped an octave and became more menacing, as he made it quite clear that anyone caught not pulling their weight would be dealt with very harshly. There were nervous glances amongst the crowd and Yukino looked like she was gritting her teeth in preparation against an incoming blow.

Yukino's father reached down and caressed his wife's shoulder, she reached up awkwardly with her right hand, while her left lay motionless on her lap. Mr Yukinoshita then dropped the second bomb shell, when he announced that he and his wife would be temporarily coming out of retirement to support Yukino while Haruno was gone. He said it with pride and enthusiasm, but I as I looked at Yukino, I could see the heartbreak she trying to hide, a look I'd seen on her before and had never wanted to see again.

As gasps and whispers echoed around the lobby, Yukino's mother raised her right hand instantly bringing silence. She gathered herself and spoke in a quiet voice that slurred as the left side of her mouth dragged. No one made any comment as they craned to hear her words, the only other sound being the hum of the air conditioning.

"I do not want anyone here to think that just because we are becoming grandparents, that we are going to go soft," Yukino's mother enunciated carefully. "I intend to make sure this company is running perfectly and if anyone is not prepared to help me with that aim, they can leave, now."

Despite the damage inflicted by the stroke, Mrs Yukinoshita was still a terrifying woman and no one dared breathe, let alone move. She eyed the hall like an empress on a throne, as if already looking for anyone slacking and even Haruno looked unnerved. Yukino was using every bit of energy in her to maintain her composure, but it wasn't going to last long. I wanted to go to her in that moment, but I knew it was absolutely out of the question.

"Right, get out my way," snapped Mrs Yukinoshita. "Let's see what you've done to my company."

The crowd parted to let the Yukinoshitas through and I started to relax as they began to move away, but I spoke too soon as I suddenly realised Yukino's mother was looking directly at me. She smiled at me, the downturn on the left side of her mouth making the smile somewhat macabre and whispered something to her husband, who proceeded to nod a greeting at me. He then also nodded at Ibuki, who just made a grumbling noise with a curt nod back.

Unsure of how to respond, I bowed a quick thank you to the Yukinoshitas, trying to ignore the looks I was getting from the people around me. Haruno gave a knowing smile, but Yukino looked lost in thought as they all disappeared into the building. The collective sigh of relief filled the lobby as the remaining employees chatted to each other, before hurriedly heading back to their jobs.

The cleaning staff went down to their break room, where I treated myself to a coffee and tried to relax a little. But Ibuki burst in angrily, still surrounded by a cloud of cigarette smoke and began with his own speech. "Right, I know some here a too new to remember what is was like before Mrs Yukinoshita retired, but trust me she will accept nothing but perfection from everyone." Ibuki barked like a drill sergeant as the older cleaners gave each other grim looks. "We've already getting a list of tasks that need doing, so get on it or you can throw yourself out."

They took tasks silently and headed off to the sound of squeaking trolley wheels with a sense of foreboding. Ibuki roughly pulled me aside and hissed in my ear, "Hikigaya, don't even begin to think that just because you are friends with the bosses you get a free pass. If anything you'll be under even more scrutiny, trust me." He sighed as he looked around the locker room and continued, "So get moving while I get this place in order."

"They're even coming down here?" I asked in surprise and Ibuki nodded grimly as he tore a poster of a bikini clad supermodel off the wall. I left him to it and headed off to my own tasks, which were many as departments hurriedly tried to get their offices presentable before the Yukinoshitas arrived. Then once they'd been, there would be another load of work based on what Mrs Yukinoshita had not considered up to scratch.

You could tell which places had been visited and which hadn't as sections went from panicked to shell-shocked, as the inspection toured through the building. I kept to my work and out of their way, but it was clear that Mrs Yukinoshita wasn't impressed with anything and the worst part was Yukino, who seemed to be taking everything personally.

It wasn't until very late that evening till I'd finished my allotted tasks and Yukino's parents had long since gone home. Most of the employees had escaped by now and the offices were now unerringly quiet as the few remaining workers struggled to get projects done. I admit I was rather concerned about Yukino after such an intense day, so I headed up to her office, sneaking through to avoid her staff. But they'd already left and I wondered if Yukino had gone with them as I eased the office door open.

The room was dark apart the soft glow of the computer screen, at first I thought the place was empty. But then I made out the long black tendrils of Yukino's hair as she sat slumped forward over her desk. I walked around to her and gently stroked her hair as I softly said her name. Yukino slowly lifted her head and turned to look at me, whispering "Hikigaya" in a confused voice.

Suddenly she launched herself into my arms with a hoarse cry of "Hachiman" and my surprise at her informality sent me crashing to the floor with her on top of me. But this wasn't a time of blushing misunderstandings or some comedy grope, as Yukino collapsed against my shoulder, her breath choked with sobs. I could feel her warmth against me as I tenderly caressed her hair, which still smelled of her citrus scented shampoo.

As Yukino started to cuddle into me and as nice as it felt, I could hear my own words to Hiratsuka echoing in my head. Yukino was so vulnerable right now, letting anything happen would have been more than wrong. That and as much as knew her cool calm was just an exterior, it still really freaked me out when she was so emotionally open like this. So I slowly lifted her off me and propped her up as I sat on the floor opposite her. Yukino slumped forward again, the blue glare of the computer screen making her pale skin glow through her hair like something out of a horror movie.

"Why am I never good enough?" Yukino asked quietly. "I thought I could carry on their legacy, but no matter how hard I work it's never enough and now they're coming to clean up my mess. Not good enough for them, not good enough for here and not good enough for..." She cut her disturbing mantra short, but I could see a red rimmed eye looking at me from between strands of hair.

"Yukino," I said gently reaching out to touch her hand. "Your parents are here to help you, not judge you."

"They wouldn't need to help me if I hadn't screwed up so bad." Yukino said to the floor as she absent-mindedly played with the carpet like a despondent child.

"No one could handle the work load you were dealing with, let alone when your sister goes on leave," I said with calm insistence. I waved my hand towards the door and continued, "It's them out there that should be dealing with it, you need to trust them to do their jobs and help you."

"Do you think it's easy for me to put my trust in people, whether it's my employees, my family?" Yukino said sadly before adding in a quiet voice, "or you, Hachiman?"

I looked away guiltily and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Yukino sighed and brushed back her hair, looking at me properly for the first time. "No, I should be sorry, that was unfair of me," Yukino said regretfully. "I just hate this place so much sometimes, it's so suffocating and all I can think of is all the places I'd rather be."

I joined her in staring out at Chiba's night sky, watching the multi-coloured lights of planes blinking against the dusting of stars. The world was silent for a while as we watched it go by and I felt Yukino's hand inch its way on top of mine. Forcing myself to break the mood, I stood awkwardly, my muscles sore from a long day's work and reached my hand down to Yukino.

"Then let's get out of here," I said with an attempt at a charming smile. "Do you want to go get a drink, I could certainly do with one after today?"

"Yeah a drink would be really nice right now," agreed Yukino and took my hand as I pulled her up. The blush in her cheeks as she held my hand, made me realise how it would look for both of us to leave the building together.

"Look you go on ahead, I've got to sort a few things out downstairs," I said apologetically.

Yukino nodded as she said "of course," with a hint of disappointment. I told her to meet me at the bar Yui worked at, I'd been promising Yui that I'd go see her for weeks so now seem like as good a time as any. Yukino still looked glum, so I told her pointlessly to try and relax, even though I knew she wouldn't, regretfully leaving her to make her own way with an attempt at an encouraging smile.

Down in the cleaners break room I made a call to Iroha's phone, which she only answered after a few too many rings.

"I'm afraid you're too late Hachiman," said my ex-wife in an irritated tone. "She's already asleep."

"Sorry, can you take the phone to her so I can say goodnight anyway," I said awkwardly. I'd found recently that if I couldn't go through the nightly ritual of wishing goodnight to Homura, I would be unable to rest and drive myself mad with worry. Iroha reluctantly agreed and I could hear the muffled thump of feet on stairs as she went to our daughter's room. Iroha never stopped me from performing this rite, as it had become an unspoken agreement that I do the same for her, since not getting to say goodnight seemed to stress her out too.

I could hear Iroha say gently, "Sweetie, it's Daddy on the phone."

There was a slurred, "Hi Daddy," and I wished my daughter sweet dreams. Homura, tried to say, "Night night," but she was already asleep again by the second 'night.'

"I'm afraid that's the best you're going to get," said Iroha with a sigh. "She had busy day at school apparently and is all tuckered out."

"That's fine," I said with a slight chuckle. "Sorry, for calling so late, it's been a bit busy here too."

"Yeah, I heard that something major was going on at Yukinoshita?" Enquired Iroha with a little too much curiosity.

"Everything is fine," I said sternly as I had no patience for her nosiness. "Thank you again and goodnight to you too." I hung up before she could reply, changed out of my uniform and headed out to the bar.

Letting Yukino go on ahead was pointless it seemed as I quickly caught up with her as she listlessly ambled along street. She looked up as I walked alongside with a quiet greeting, looking awkward as she pulled her coat about her.

"Would you rather I walked a little ahead or behind you?" I asked politely. "I don't want to cause you problems if we're seen together."

"No it's fine," Yukino said quickly before adding quietly. "I don't care what they think anymore."

I nodded and matched her slow pace, it was cool clear night and it felt nice to be in the fresh air after being inside all day. Even though it wasn't that cold, Yukino huddled against it, maybe protecting herself against the harsh world around her with the heavy wool of her coat. The uncomfortable silence was broken as Yukino asked, "is that why you've been avoiding me at work?"

"It was more that we've both been so busy," I stammered awkwardly. "But yeah, I heard that people were talking about us and I didn't want to make you look bad."

Yukino's expression became dark as she muttered, "Haruno spoke to you didn't she?" My vague croak was enough confirmation for her as she complained, "I do wish my sister would stay out my private life, just for once."

"Haruno is just looking out for you," I said defensively. "Don't think I'm not aware, how badly being seen with the likes of me would reflect on you."

"She's just worried about how it would reflect on her or the company," Yukino spat dismissively. I wasn't so sure, but there was no point in arguing with Yukino in her current mood, it would never get through to her.

"Still it would be probably better if we kept things to outside work." I said, adding with a hopeful smile, "It's more enjoyable without all that chaos around us."

Yukino said quietly, "but I like it when you come by the office, even when I too busy to properly talk to you, it's nice having you there. The last thing I want is for you to feel like you can't come and visit," her eyes looked at me with worry as she asked, "You do want to come and see me?"

"Of course," I laughed casually as I tried to cover my discomfort caused by the intensity of her gaze. I could now see what Hiratsuka had meant when she had implored me to tell them about my relationship plans, even my rotten eyes had to accept the truth of what I saw in Yukino's blue ones. Even if I couldn't for the life of me comprehend why Yukino, Yui and I guess Hiratsuka too felt that way. I'd have to do something to calm things down until I was in a mind space to even consider what I was going to do about them. It's a horrible feeling when you know your only options are to hurt those you care about.

I lost myself in thought, running pointless ideas of how to tell them through my head for the thousandth time. Extrapolating data and checking probabilities for success on plans that would never succeed. I felt angry at them, the world and as usual the real culprit, myself. I kicked a stone, sending it skittering across the street and only then realised that I was alone.

Looking about it seemed that Yukino had vanished, so with growing concern I retraced my steps back up the street, searching every side road. I almost missed her and if it wasn't for the soft sound of her voice I probably would have missed her in the shadows of a nameless alleyway. As I approached, two pairs of eyes looked up with a glitter of reflected moonlight, one pair belonging to Yukino and the other to a large calico cat in her arms. She was whispering sweet nothings to the cat as she stroked its head, much to the cat's clear enjoyment. I smiled as Yukino looked a little scared, like she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't and cuddled the cat closer.

"Come on," I said gently, "the bar's only just around the corner." Yukino started to move, still holding the purring cat against her chest, so I put on my fatherly telling off voice and added. "You can't take it with you, look it has a collar, so it must belong to someone." But it took a further, "put it down," before Yukino finally relinquished the cat and with a grumpy yowl it disappeared through a fence. I then grabbed Yukino about the wrist and practically dragged her the rest of the way to the bar, starting to really feel the need for that drink.

The garish neon of the sign above the bar's entrance made our faces look ghoulish, as I entered the surprisingly quiet establishment and was greeted instantly by an excited, "Hikki!"

Yui stood behind the bar, smiling as she pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear and straightened her staff waistcoat so that it showed off her curves uncomfortably well. She saw my companion and quickly said "Oh, hi Yukino," in a voice that didn't sound quite as enthusiastic. Yukino and I sat at the bar, I made a point to keep a bar stool between the two us with Yui standing diagonally opposite the pair of us. I ordered a beer, which Yui happily passed me making a show of taking off the cap with a dramatic flourish. She struggled a little with the elaborate cocktail that Yukino ordered, but whether it was any good or not we never knew as Yukino downed it without reaction.

Yui sensed the downcast atmosphere and asked how work had been, Yukino answered with a hollow laugh that only made Yui look even more worried. So I gave Yui a rough overview of the visit by Yukino's parents, accompanied by the occasional snorts, sighs and empty laughs from Yukino. Yui looked at loss for what to say, she'd always been scared of Yukino's family and today's events did not improve that view. The complex world of Chiba business politics was way beyond Yui's understanding, it certainly baffled me most of the time, so Yui latched on to the one topic she could relate to, Haruno's baby.

"It must be exciting to know you're going to be called Auntie Yukino soon?" Yui asked hopefully, but Yukino didn't look as enthused so Yui continued. "You could have so much fun telling them what to do and instructing them on proper behaviour, not to mention taking them to see Pan-San."

Contrary to Yui's hopes, Yukino seemed to flinch at the first two suggestions and only smiled slightly at the final thought of Pan-San. "I'm not very good with children," admitted Yukino, "So I'm not sure I'd make a very good aunt."

But Yui was unrelenting, "I'm sure any kid would love you as an auntie, even more as a mom."

"No Yui, I would not make a good mother," Yukino said stiffly, looking at the rim of her now empty glass sadly. "Motherhood is not something us Yukinoshita's do well and I admit I worry about how my sister is going to be." There was a long pause as we all searched for something to say until Yukino continued with quietly, "I think I'll stick to cats."

I wanted to give her platitudes telling her 'not to be stupid' and that she wasn't 'destined to turn into her mother,' but I knew it would fall on deaf ears. Instead I made a desperate attempt to try a lighten the atmosphere, searching for the short video on my phone that was my current pick me up.

"What you really need Yukino, is cat children," I said dramatically as I pressed play. Yui and Yukino squinted at the small screen as it's glow lit up our three faces. The video showed Homura wearing her cat pyjamas, sitting on her knees making little cat paws with her fists and saying 'nyaa-nyaa' in between girlish giggles. Yui and I were lost to the cuteness as the video looped over endlessly, the spell only broken by Yukino laughing at the pair of us.

It was nice to see a smile on Yukino as she chuckled finally, even if it sounded a little unhinged. She calmed herself and said "That is certainly an option Hikigaya and I must admit I do approve of your daughter's choice of attire."

"I wonder if you'll let your niece or nephew wear anything else?" I asked with raised eyebrow.

Yukino looked a little crest fallen as she said, "oh come on, I'm not bad am I?"

"Of course you're not Yukino," said Yui protectively. "Stop being mean Hikki, you know full well there's also a range of Pan-San outfits to choose from."

Yukino swung a playful clout, but missed as she started, "well you'd be dressing yours in pup…" then faltered as Yukino realised what she was be saying.

"True" said Yui with a slightly sad smile, but quickly rode on over Yukino's attempted apology, as she continued, "I just worry that you'll soon be dressing up your cats in cute little outfits instead, if you haven't started already."

Yukino fervently denied this, though she looked rather guilty at the same time. Though the accusations were a little rich, coming from a someone that used to dress up her old dog Sable in fancy hats and coats.

"Well maybe becoming an auntie will save you from that," added Yui, "You can at least make sure that your sister raises them right."

I nodded in agreement, "If your sister is fine with it, Homura loves bossing smaller kids around, you can leave all that kind of business to her."

"I believe my niece or nephew will be bossed around enough by my mother, but thank you." Said Yukino with a grateful smile.

"Well then you'll just have to be the cool auntie," Said Yui with a cheeky grin. "You know the one takes them fun places and tells them to be naughty."

I felt bad for laughing, but the image of Yukino like that was so bizarre that it almost absurd. Yukino looked like she wasn't sure about Yui's suggestion, but the slight smile on her lips suggested she wasn't against the idea.

"Don't think you two can be like that with Homura, I still haven't got permission from Komachi to make you honorary aunties yet, so don't make me change my mind." I said with mock indignation. "She was not impressed when Homura called one of Iroha's friends 'auntie,' I don't want to incur my sister's wrath without good reason." Yui actually looked worried for a moment so I quickly added reassuringly, "but don't worry, she knows you so it'll be fine."

Yui relaxed as Yukino said sarcastically, "Don't worry Hikigaya, we won't corrupt your little angel."

I snorted at the idea of my mischievous little girl being an angel, Iroha had tried to make her one but had failed spectacularly. With a wry smile I chuckled, "I should probably be more worried about her corrupting the two of you."

The conversation lulled for a moment, so I ordered another beer and for good measure another cocktail for Yukino, I offered Yui one, but she said she wasn't allowed. The whole discussion was starting to feel a little forced, all of us trying are hardest to keep up a good cheer, even if none us was really feeling it.

"Sorry about being such a misery," said Yukino apologetically as she took a sip from her drink. "On top of everything at work, Haruno being pregnant has really got to me, I guess it's another milestone that my big sister has beaten me too. Though it also doesn't help that my parents are now constantly fussing about my relationship status, we can't be in the same room without my mother asking about any men in my life."

Yui nodded in understanding, "my mom is the same, every time I talk to her she's trying to find out about boyfriends. She gets excited every time I mention a guy's name; she nearly went into meltdown when I mentioned Hikki again."

I was a little disturbed about being the centre of gossip with Yui's mother, who loved to jump to conclusions at any opportunity. I hoped Yui had managed to keep any expectations to a minimum, otherwise things were going to get messy again.

"You are lucky Yui," sighed Yukino. "You would think the fate of the world depended on it, the way Mother goes on and on about legacies."

"I'm sure deep down she just wants you to be happy, you shouldn't let that stupid bet thing stop you from finding someone," said Yui in tender yet forceful tone. "You're smart and successful enough to choose a nice honourable guy from the very top of society. There's certainly no need to root around down here for some dreg from the bottom of the gutter." I saw Yui's eyes flick towards me at the end and I wasn't sure I liked being thought of as something found in the gutter.

"Well scum often floats to the top unfortunately," said Yukino with a sigh. She then smiled sweetly at Yui to say, "but you shouldn't settle for some dreg either Yui, you're sweet enough to charm any man, especially when it comes to the things that men like." Yukino eyes glanced at Yui's ample chest and then narrowed at me, checking my eye line. So I made sure that I was looking anywhere, but at Yui and especially not at the way her uniform had mysteriously become unbuttoned to show a little cleavage.

Yui blushed a little as sighed to herself, "Well they aren't as nice as the used to be, guys tend to run a mile when they realise I'm 'damaged goods.' I'm better off with man who's used to all that and will be more understanding of such things." Yui smiled back at Yukino, "You're lucky Yukino, being that slim and pure. Even without money involved, I bet classy guys must bend themselves over backwards for a chance to take your hand."

Yukino's expression darkened as she said seriously, "men who value that aren't the kind of men I want to know. No, I need someone who understands my... "Yukino paused, blushing slightly as she searched for the right word "... my eccentricities. Who won't laugh at my cats and will help others for reasons other than making themselves look good."

"Good luck finding guys like that," I muttered cynically. So suddenly that Yui and Yukino looked confused for a second, probably wondering where I had appeared from.

"Don't be like that, Hikki, " scolded Yui. "Yeah dating isn't easy these days, but I'm sure Yukino will find someone like that. I mean err..." Yui began to stutter nervously "...have you given any thought to getting back in the game, as it were. I'm sure there's some nice girls that would be interested in you." Yui flinched at her own phrasing and looked at me in what she hoped was a casually friendly way, but she was sweating too much for that. I couldn't see Yukino's face, but I could feel her gaze boring into me as she analysed my reactions.

I realised this was the moment, this was the opportunity for me to tell them to give me time. The words I'd promised my old teacher I would tell these two, who were so intently waiting on my response. The conversation between them just now, was only a hint of what would happen between them if I left things as they were. Though Yukino and Yui were trying really hard to be friends like they once were, it was clear there was something rotten between them preventing it from happening. I had to do something to cut that away and I tried to focus my mind on the right words for this right time. I'd spent so much time mentally writing scripts for this moment, but as I tried to remember the words, the pages fluttered away in my mind.

I steeled myself, making sure not to look at either Yui or Yukino, instead focusing on the label of beer bottle in my hand. My eyes traced the strokes of every word as I said in cold seriousness, "I'm in no fit state for that kind of thing at the moment."

The bar seemed to be frozen in time as I continued with, "My life is far too complicated with Homura, work and so many other things. I wouldn't be able to give any woman the attention and love they deserve, so I would only end up hurting them. I don't know how long it'll take, but I need to seriously get my life together first before I can even consider a new relationship, with anyone."

The bar was deadly silent apart from the soft murmur of a baseball game on a distant television and the whir of the ceiling fans. As the two women remained silent I began to worry that I'd been too flippant, so I added quietly with my head bowed, "I'm sorry."

The silence continued and I chanced a quick glance at them, trying to gauge any sort of reaction. Yui had her back to me, polishing a glass over and over again. Yukino's face was hidden behind her hair, as she slowly turned her half empty cocktail glass around and around, the ice cubes softly clinking together.

"That is, probably for the best," Yui forced out slowly. "It would be wrong for you to rush straight into another relationship after everything you've been through. Don't you agree Yukino?"

Yukino took a moment, then agreed in a hoarse whisper. "Yes, it would be wrong for anyone to expect anything from you right now, Hikigaya. You're right in wanting to get your own life in order first, especially with regards to your daughter."

"Yeah, Homura's your number one above all things," said Yui quickly. "Anyone who knows you now can see that and it shouldn't be any other way."

"Thank you," I said quietly, grateful for their understanding, at least I hope they understood.

There was another long silence, then suddenly Yukino stood and said unsteadily, "would you excuse me, I'm just going to the bathroom." She walked away with a slight wobble on her heels and I half expected to turn to head straight out the front door, but no she vanished behind the distant door to the ladies bathroom. Yui watched her go anxiously, looking back and forth from the bathroom to me. I gave Yui a little shooing motion, telling her to go to Yukino, so Yui scampered off, her face still coursed with concern.

I sat alone, idling watching the televised baseball game without any interest, despite the close score line. I kept having to reassure myself I'd done the right thing, because it certainly didn't feel that way. Maybe the timing was wrong, maybe it hadn't been a good idea to use an already hard day to tell Yukino. Then when have next chance presented itself, would leaving it longer have made things any better. I took a swig from the beer bottle, but it was already empty and toyed with grabbing one from behind the bar, but I didn't want to cause Yui any more trouble. The bar was so quiet I could faintly hear Yui and Yukino talking in the lady's bathroom, not well enough to know what they were saying, but at least they were talking.

Well it was done, Hiratsuka could rest easy, even if I wouldn't, as doubts endlessly circulated through my brain. I'd have to show them that I was using the time to get my act together and that I wasn't just fobbing them off with excuses. I could also use the time to help them with their problems, hopefully help them find the peace that eluded them and move on top better lives with better guys. I was under no illusions as to why these amazing women had an interest in a guy like me, because it certainly wasn't my looks, wealth and definitely not my personality. It was clear to me now that in me, they somehow saw a solution to their problems or at least someone to share their burdens with.

For Yukino, I guess I was a known quantity, different from more suitable men with unknown motivations and allegiances. Even after all I'd done to hurt her, she seemed to still trust me for some reasons beyond comprehension, though whether she still would when she returned was another question. Maybe she hoped I could whisk her away to some happy life away from her family, probably on that cat filled island up north somewhere. I couldn't fulfil that dream, I'm not sure anyone could stand against her mother, even if I was a hundred percent sure she was in the wrong and running was not an option with Homura.

For Yui I suppose, it was more Homura she wanted. A relationship with me would mean another chance at being a mother, to make amends for Yume by taking care of Homura. It was a sweet thought, but I hoped that Yui realised that there was no chance of my daughter ever calling her mother. Yui would put on a brave face, but I knew that eventually it would break her in a way that could never be fixed.

Hiratsuka was a little easier, I was simply a last grab at youth. A chance to avoid acting like a woman her age should and live a wild life with a toy boy by her side. Though maybe she saw me as someone who was just broken as her and thought that would somehow lead to healthy relationship, but it wouldn't be.

It wasn't that I didn't want to be with any of these women, I wasn't that crazy. The problem was that from bits and pieces they'd said, it was clear that the Hikigaya Hachiman they desired was not me. I'd no idea where or how they come by this image of me, but one day it would come crashing down, just like it had for Iroha. I don't know how many years it taken for Iroha to realise this, but when she'd seen the kind of man I really was, it was no surprise she wanted a divorce.

A sappy little voice in my head talked of love, well I had been in love with Iroha. Truly, madly, the full head over heels and we knew how that had turned out. No, I was too old and rotten for any of that nonsense, so it was just a case of doing what was best for these three, whilst trying to minimalise the hurt I would cause them. So from here on out I would encourage them to move on with their lives, whilst making it clear that I wasn't the guy they were convinced I was. How I was going to go about this I wasn't sure, but judging from their reactions just now, it was possible I'd already started.

I looked up as I heard the squeak of the bathroom door open, Yukino walked out looking a lot more dignified and self-assured, though her steps were still a little unsteady. Yui followed with a determined smile, that looked a little forced, but at least it was a smile. They bore down on me with surprising speed, which started to make me nervous as they closed in and I braced myself for a slap. But they stopped short and stood in front of me in way that did not settle my nerves. Yukino was also looking a little unsure and turned to look at Yui, who smiled encouragingly and nodded. They then simultaneously took a deep breath and said rapidly, "We're really sorry Hikigaya," with a formal bow.

To say I was weirded out was an understatement, I stared at them with as I tried to get my head around what's was going on. My instincts suspected some kind of trap, trick or joke, but as my confused expression started to unsettle them it was clear it wasn't. "You've got nothing to apologise for," I said with slow awkwardness, turning away to hide my embarrassment. "Now please just sit down and relax, you're freaking me out."

Shaking my head, I ordered another beer from Yui and realised I still had a long way to go with them. I ordered another drink for Yukino and tried again to convince Yui to have one, just to cover my discomfort. I'd no idea what to say to them and neither did they to me and the silence started to grow between us again. Yui would occasionally open her mouth to say something then have second thoughts and stay quiet.

It wasn't like there wasn't anything to say to each other, I was sure they had things to say to me and I to them. But they were too personal to be discussed while the third was here and so silence filled the void. I tried to think of something new to talk about, something other than ourselves to focus on, anything that might unite the three of us again. In the old days we had the Service Club's requests to focus on, to distract us from the problems between the three of us and make us one again for a while. It seemed stupid to drag out that old scheme again, but maybe there was something to it. I just needed a task that would help us all, without focusing too much on any one of us individually. A job that would help someone else in need, that only we could help and that would utilise all of our collective skills. At least it might plaster over the cracks for a while, till I could think of better idea.

Then a thought came to me, it was simple, but would benefit all three of us. It might take some work to convince Yui and Yukino, with a high chance of just blowing up in my face, but at the moment I could think of nothing else. So I cleared my throat to draw their attention as asked eloquently. "Do you mind if make a request of the Service Club?"

I took their silence for assent and continued, "would you help me find a husband for Hiratsuka Shizuka?"

The effect was sudden, violent and split the silence like a cleaver. As Yukino spat a mouthful of cocktail across the bar with a loud raspberry noise and started to choke. Simultaneously Yui dropped the glass she'd been cleaning with a loud yelp, only just saving it from smashing with a complicated juggling fumble. Yui stood their looking at me with an expression that bounced between horror, bewilderment and anger as the glass shook in the tight grip of her hands.

Yukino managed to control her choking enough to hiss between angry breaths, "What, did you do, Hikigaya?"

It seems my fears had been explosively validated, but I managed to stammer in a panic. "I didn't do anything, it's just, you know," I was stumbling over my words so badly that was sure I made no sense, but I soldiered on. "It's about time she found someone her own age to settle down with, before she, gets any more reckless."

Both women had their eyes narrowed on me, watching me sweat under the spotlight as I tried to look innocent. Yukino tapping her chin with a finger as she pondered my words, whilst Yui tilted her head to the side, both women judging me in silence.

I breathed a sigh of relief when Yukino finally spoke in slow careful manner, "You are right Hikigaya. It is about time our old teacher was married and we should definitely help find someone for her, before she ends up being seduced by some disreputable villain." Yukino eyes narrowed again me as she added, "Don't you agree Yui?"

Yui blinked in confusion as she took a second to process what Yukino had said, answering with a vague, "Yes definitely." Yui then put on a slightly evil smile and continued with, "I mean she did so much for us, we're only together because of her. It's only right for us to make sure she doesn't end up with some jerk who'll mess her around."

I could feel their eyes boring into me, but weathered their jibes as I pushed the cause with a sigh, "So is that yes or would you rather I dealt with her?"

"No, no," said Yui quickly, "this is definitely a task that requires a woman's touch, isn't that right Yukino?"

"Indeed," replied Yukino with a nod, "If anything you should take back seat with this and let us ladies handle this."

"That's fine with me," I said with a sarcastic shrug. "I'll let you two, do your best."

They both snorted and nodded in agreement, Yui let out an overly dramatic, "Let's do our best," while Yukino just shook her head with a sigh. I gave a half-hearted cheer, but actually I was rather pleased with the result, as I watched the two women discuss what kind of men would be best for Hiratsuka and who wouldn't.

Most of these suggestions involved more jibes at myself, but I didn't care as long as they were finally chatting cheerfully together. They ignored me now for the most part as I carried on drinking my beer, making the occasional comment and just enjoying watching them talk long into the Chiba night.

Weeks passed and though things seem better, especially between Yui and Yukino, there was still a background awkwardness that would probably truly never go away. We had made no progress with Hiratsuka, since we didn't really know much about her life beyond teaching and it was tricky subject to broach, without her getting the wrong idea.

I sat at a table in the local park watching Homura playing with some school friends, their laughs and cheers filling the air. I closed my eyes for a second, enjoying the feel of the early summer sun on my eye lids, warming my rotten eyes like a basking lizard.

"I surprised you can withstand direct sunlight for that long, Hachiman." Said a light voice that roughly woke me from my bliss.

"It's a good thing it's not raining, otherwise you might melt completely away," I sneered back to my smiling ex-wife.

She laughed sarcastically before shifting tone, " Seriously though Hachiman, you look like hell. I hope you're eating properly and not just living on instant ramen."

I couldn't make a jab at her appearance, because quite frankly Iroha looked great. A clear sign that being rid of me had improved her life both physically and mentally. So I took a different track and laughed in a care free manner as I said, "we're divorced now, you don't get to boss me around about my eating habits any more. But don't worry, Homura gets the best food I can get her, certainly better than the Happy Meals that, 'Mummy says I can have.'"

Iroha scowled at my falsetto impression of our daughter and claimed, "That's only been on rare occasions, I certainly don't let her have sweets after school every day, 'like Daddy gets me.'"

I frowned at Iroha's stuck out tongue and stated, "I am merely rewarding Homura for when she does well at school."

"Yes, but you give her sweets for any achievement going," scolded Iroha, "not just when she does particularly well."

"You should have more faith in our daughter's academic abilities," I rebuked flamboyantly.

"Well you can be the one to dry her tears when she has to go to the dentist." Iroha snapped back dryly.

I was about to fling back something witty when I heard Homura shouting for our attention from the top of the slide. She then went down backwards with an excited cry, as she waved her arms in the air. Both Iroha and I automatically tensed as Homura plonked off the end, but our daughter sprang up with a giggle, running straight back to the slide's ladder. To our joint irritation, Iroha and I both shook our heads, with sigh. "It's nice to see her smiling and laughing again." I said with my own smile, as Homura slid down on her belly.

Iroha nodded as she asked cautiously, "how is she for sleeping at yours?"

"Okay," I said with a shrug, "there's still the occasional nightmare, though she often ends up sleeping next to me regardless."

"Yeah that's pretty much how it is with me, Iroha sighed. "We should probably ween her out of that, though I admit it is nice having her there sometimes."

I nodded in agreement, "It would be best for her to get used to staying in her own bed, so I'll work on it from my end if you do from yours."

Iroha nodded and silence settled between us as a cold wind come off the sea, making Iroha rub her arms against the chill. She seemed to be deep in thought as we idly watched Homura clamber over a climbing frame, trying to tag one of her friends.

"I'm glad she's making friends," said Iroha with the air of forced conversation. "I was worried about all the fights at school, but they seemed to have calmed down now."

I nodded calmly, "she thankfully has your people skills."

Iroha chuckled and the conversation petered out again. I wasn't particularly interested in listening to Iroha's chatter, I was just here to keep an eye on Homura until it was time to take her home.

"How's work?" Iroha asked, trying again in a way that tried my patience.

"It's alright, just same old, same old now," I sighed vaguely.

"It must be a bit more interesting than that." Said Iroha in an exasperated tone.

"Fine," I said irritably. "Yukino and I fuck like rabbits every lunchtime and sometimes Yui joins in too. Is that what you want to hear?"

Iroha looked stung by my sarcasm as she said angrily, "there's no need to be like that, Hachiman. I just wanted to have a friendly chat with you and see how things are, you don't have to throw it back in my face."

"Why bother?" I asked dramatically. "You're free now, you don't have to force yourself to talk to me anymore. You can talk to whomever the hell you like, about whatever the hell you like. Go talk to your friends, that gossip mill probably has better idea of what I'm doing than I do."

Before Iroha could muster her anger into a reply, Homura came hurtling passed us and tried to hide from her friend behind me. The stream of giggles made her easy to find and they both shot off again screaming. I smiled as I watched them weave through the park with the other children, I shouted after Homura to be careful as she nearly ran into a toddler.

I felt a soft hand touch mine and I turned to look at Iroha's irritatingly sweet smile as she said softly, "Hachiman it's you I want to talk to. I like to think we can still do at least that, that our years together still mean something to you?"

I looked at her hand as it rested on mine, tracing the faint scars left by our rings and said quietly, "of course they do."

She smiled with a hint of tears in her eyes, "I happy to hear that. You know I keep thinking whether there really is no going back, is it really out of the question for us to try again?"

I pondered this as Homura was trying to make her swing go the highest, my heart leaping slightly as she hit the apex, fearing that she would go flying off. "Would you really be okay with me working for Yukino, drinking with Yui or being taught by Hiratsuka?" I asked my ex-wife, "Because that's my life now."

Iroha didn't answer, but simply looked down, unable to meet my eyes. So I continued, "Even if you accepted that, all this would hang over our relationship and we'd never get back what we once had. We'd tear each other apart again and there's no way we could put Homura through all that again."

Iroha nodded sadly as she watched Homura skid the swing to a stop. Iroha pulled her hand away from mine and brushed her eyes as she said quietly. "I know Hachiman, I just needed to ask, just to be sure."

I nodded in agreement and the silence emphasised the void between us now. Iroha stretched and flicked her hair with a sigh, then with a lighter tone added, "though I'm not sure what you're going to do about those three. You know I don't care for any of them, but I still don't want to see you getting hurt."

I sighed, "trust me, you are best staying as far away from that mess as possible."

Iroha chuckled and shook her head, "you really have leapt feet first into the fire, haven't you Hachiman. I don't know whether to feel pity for you, them or just laugh at the lot of you."

"Laughter, definitely laughter," I said with smile. "I've never deserved any pity."

Her look was irritatingly full of pity as Iroha said seriously, "just make sure all that doesn't spill out on to Homura. I don't want to do it, but I will take her from you if she gets hurt."

"Don't worry she won't," I said angrily. "They are all fully aware of who the most important girl in my life is."

Iroha nodded with a slightly scary smile, "just so long as Homura never calls any of them Mummy, it'll be fine."

I laughed darkly, "So long as she never calls any man you bring home Daddy, it'll also be fine."

Iroha laughed, "I wouldn't worry about that, unlike you I don't have a crowd of groupies following me about."

With a snort I said, "They would hate to be thought of like that, though I'm sure you'll have no problems finding a new man, a decent one this time."

"I wouldn't know one if I saw one," Iroha said downcast. "But I'm not in rush to get back into all that."

I nodded in agreement, before an idea hit me as I asked my ex-wife, "Speaking of decent men, if you happen to know any older single men, can you let me know?" When her expression became increasingly more puzzled and then alarmed I added, "It's for Hiratsuka, we're trying to get her hitched."

Iroha stared at me incomprehensibly for a moment, then her face cracked and she howled with laughter. Seeing her laugh like that brought a smile to my rotten heart, it seemed like such a long time since I'd heard it last. Iroha wiped a tear away as she gasped for breath, "I take it the other two are involved in this?" Iroha wheezed shaking her head, "talk about the blind, leading the blind to save the blind."

I chuckled as Iroha burst into a second round of laughter. When she subsided I asked, "So will you keep an eye out?"

"Sure thing, Hachiman," Iroha sighed. "Anything to save that crazy old bat from you." I flinched slightly, half expecting Hiratsuka to leap out of nowhere at the mention of her being old, but the park remained teacher free.

"Whatcha laughin' at?" Said a small curious voice at my elbow, as Homura climbed on to the bench next to me.

"Oh nothing sweetie," said Iroha as she tried to compose herself, "just Daddy's silly friends."

"Ahh" said Homura sagely as if she understood, before asking, "Why are they silly?"

"They just are dear," I sighed as I ruffled my daughter's hair and gave her hug.

"Have they been naughty," asked Homura indignantly, "is Daddy going to give them a smacked bum?"

Iroha's eyes bulged as she fought and failed to hold in her laughter, while I struggled to control the blush rushing up my face. Iroha snorted in derision as I tried to calmly inform my daughter that, "No, they had not been naughty." Homura seemed satisfied with this and leant against me, snuggling against my side. I smiled and stroked her hair as I said, "I think it's time we headed home."

Homura made a half-hearted grumble of protest and Iroha made as if to say the same. But when the mother looked at her daughter's half closed eyes and smiled, she said softly, "Yeah, I think she's had enough play time." Iroha walked around and wrapped her Homura in her arms, kissing her deeply on the forehead. I let them stay like that for a while, trying to ignore the slight pang of jealousy, until eventually Iroha let go of her daughter with a sigh.

"Okay I'll let you take her home now," Iroha smiled regretfully, "I'll call later to say goodnight."

"I think she might be fast asleep as soon as we get home," I said whilst lifting Homura into my arms with a grunted, "Woah you're getting heavy."

"I know, I can barely lift her now," chuckled Iroha as I struggled to get our daughter comfortable. A feat made even more difficult when Homura reached out for another hug from her mother. I had no choice but to let them embrace, even though it effectively meant that Iroha was hugging me too. Both Iroha and me were a little flushed with awkwardness once the hug separated, both of us trying to act casual with little success.

"Okay we'll be heading off now," I said before things got any more awkward and started to walk away.

"I'll talk to you guys later," Iroha shouted with a flurry of waves and a few blown kisses.

"Bye Mummy, love you." Shouted Houmra as she nearly fell out of my arms again, waving with all her might.

"Love you too Sweetie," her mother yelled back before adding with a cheeky smile, "though Hachiman, you can get lost."

"Will do," I shouted back with a casual salute.

I saw her now distant figure wipe her eyes and then turn to walk away in the opposite direction, vanishing amongst the crowd of other pedestrians. I adjusted my balance, then my daughter and I walked off into down the street as the light of the evening sun gave way to the first of night's stars.

 _[Author's note: Okay I hope you enjoyed this chapter, might have gone a bit OTT at a few points there. Anyway as always all reviews are appreciated and I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Also OVA hype!]_


	6. Chapter 6

**My After Story SNAFU**

 **Chapter 6**

I wasn't sure who was the most excited, the little girl bouncing on the seat next to me or the much older girl beaming opposite me. It was strange experience to ride in Yukino's chauffeur driven limousine up to the VIP entrance of Destinyland, Chiba's massive amusement park.

The roar of a roller coaster hurtled overhead, as I listened to the over enthusiastic chatter between Yukino and Homura. I looked over my daughter at Yui, who was smiling as she watched them and gave me an amused roll of her eyes. The chauffeur announced our arrival and Hiratsuka leaned in from front passenger seat where she'd been talking cars with the uniformed driver. "Come along children, I hope you're all going to behave yourselves on this excursion," Hiratsuka said in overly formal manner.

The three adults in the back, sighed and shook their heads, but Homura recognising a teacher's authority. Instinctively piped up with a chanted, "Yes, Hiratsuka Sensei," which sent the car reeling with laughter.

Hiratsuka blushed as Homura looked at us with a confused expression, trying to understand the joke. "Well at least someone here has manners and respect," Hiratsuka said stiffly, "I thought I taught you three better."

In sync the three of us rolled our eyes and sang a tired, "Yes, Hiratsuka Sensei." Which was met with nod of approval as the doors of the limousine smoothly swung open.

I felt a little awkward as the smartly dressed park staff met us with bows and welcoming greetings. I wasn't the only one uncomfortable, as Yui and Hiratsuka returned the greetings with politely awkward smiles. Yukino seemed rather embarrassed by the attention, acutely aware of how different her world was from ours. Homura on the other hand was just in awe of everything, bouncing on her toes with excitement, desperate to get started.

The staff were busy making a fuss of Yukino, wanting to make sure she had everything to her liking, though it was clear that Yukino just wanted them to leave her alone. But I had no time to wait for her as Homura grew impatient, saw something and shot off into the park.

Without hesitation I tore off after her, leaving a startled crowd in my wake, as panic started to set in. But fortunately it was short lived, as I found my daughter with her face buried in the furry belly of Pan-San, the park's panda mascot. My heart stopped racing as I let Homura enjoy hugging the huge costumed figure, while the sound of multiple pairs of heels clattering on the paving signalled the arrival of the others. They were also relieved to see Homura safe with her arms around panda, though I thought there was a hint of jealousy from Yukino.

After a round of photos were taken, I knelt down in front of my daughter and gave her a mild telling off. Trying to make her understand that she had to stay with me or her three new aunties at all times, though she was way too excited to take in anything I was saying. So I resorted to gripping her hand tightly and walking off into the park, looking about at the sights. It'd had been a long time since I'd been here and there had been several new rides and attractions added, so my head was spinning just trying to take it all in.

I'd wanted to take a leisurely stroll through the place, but Yukino was desperate to check out the newly refurbished Pan-San Bamboo Safari, which had just reopened. Yui and Hiratsuka gave me slightly weirded out looks, while Yukino began to describe passionately all the upgrades that had been made to anyone that would listen. As we approached the ride and headed to the ViP express queue, I didn't think it looked all that different, but Yukino was happy to point out how wrong I was.

I let Homura sit with Yukino in the front row of the ride's car, my daughter was still a little nervous around the three women, but their joint enthusiasm seemed to bridging the gap. As I watched the tall dignified woman chatting to my little girl, the real reason for Yukino's insistence on taking Homura became obvious. Yukino would have looked absolutely ridiculous riding this thing on her own, but accompanied by Homura, she looked completely normal and no one would bat an eye. I slid in next to Yui on the back row and was squeezed tight as Hiratsuka shoved herself in beside me.

Yui was smiling as she watched the excited Yukino and I had to agree it was nice to see our friend so happy after the particularly trying few weeks. My more pressing problem at the moment was where to put my hands, Hiratsuka seemed to be enjoying the close quarters, while Yui was a little more embarrassed as I firmly gripped my knees when the ride jolted into motion.

The journey into Pan-San's domain was a torment of high pitched singing and retina scaring colours. The back row exchanged grimaces, while the front row sang along, Homura's raucous shout joining Yukino's pitch perfect rendition. Steeling myself for another round through the chorus, the ride passed into a darkened section and our faces were lit by the flashing neon colours. In the darkness I felt two different hands squeeze my own, but by the time we returned into light they were gone, though it wasn't like I had to guess who they'd belonged too.

I made a point not to react to them, I was determined to keep things civil and I considered this a day out with my daughter, not a date with any of them. Once we were free of the ride, I quickly hid my grimace as Homura jumped up and down yelling, "again, again!"

I was readying an excuse, when Yukino said with an embarrassed smile, "I'll take her around again, if that's okay?"

"Okay, sure, we'll wait in the gift shop," I stammered in surprise and relief. But they were already off before I'd even finished, Homura proclaiming her favourite moments as Yukino led her back to the entrance.

Hiratsuka watched Yukino with concern as she asked us slowly, "is she okay?"

I glanced at Yui, who was looking a little worried herself and I said to our former teacher, "I'm sure Yukino's fine, probably just excited at having a fellow Pan-San fan to talk to."

Yui chimed in absent mindedly with, "yeah that and Yukino is probably just enjoying letting off some steam, you know. Her work keeps her very busy, doesn't it Hikki?"

I nodded in agreement and told Hiratsuka not to worry, cutting the line of inquisition off as I headed for the panda filled gift shop. I mooched around looking at the shelves filled with overpriced merchandise, hoping that Homura would want something cheap. Hiratsuka was glowering at the tacky children's books muttering, "this is why my job is so difficult." While Yui looked at a hand puppet with a smile, pondering something before neatly putting it back.

Hiratsuka was glowering at some teenage couples, no doubt on dates as they looked at the cute toys. "Did we really have to come here?" she complained with a scowl.

"Hey you're the one that wanted to join us on our next outing together," I said irritably. "No one forced you to come."

"I know but," Hiratsuka grumbled, muttering curses at the moon eyed teenagers as they left the shop. Coming the other way was a commotion of girls, maybe only a few years older than Homura, accompanied by all the excitement and noise of a birthday outing. They were chatting and giggling at all the toys as they wandered past Yui, who moved aside to let them pass. I could see her eyes surreptitiously searching the faces of the girls for any sign of familiarity, but I couldn't be sure if she was disappointed or relieved when she concluded that none of them were her daughter. I moved over to her and asked, "do you want to go outside, it's getting a bit crowded in here?"

Yui nodded with a thankful smile and we headed out, followed by a puzzled look from Hiratsuka. We'd almost made it to the door, when I was hit full force by my hurtling daughter, she gave me a quick hug and the bounced off giggling around the store. I gave Yui a shrug and went to follow my daughter, as she gazed in awe at all the merchandise.

Yukino was also looking around with shining eyes at the mountain of Pan-San junk, even though she must have tons of the stuff at home. Homura was giving me pleading looks as she eyed a massive stuffed panda, but I sternly shook my head and then glared at Yukino, when I saw her hand edging towards her handbag.

Homura had more stuffed toys that she could ever hope to cuddle and there was no space in that small bedroom for a toy of that size. The last thing I wanted was an arms race between the three women, over who could treat my daughter the most. Yukino taking us here was bad enough, but Yui had already earn some reproachful glances by giving Homura candy on the way to the park. I'd made it clear that my daughter was not to be spoiled and that just going to the park was quite sufficient.

Finally, I convinced Homura to buy a Pan-San themed stationery set for school, while Yukino settled on limited edition Pan-San toy, designed to celebrate the refurbishment. They were smiling as we left the shop and Yui laughed as she said, "It's like you have two daughters."

"More like three daughters," Hiratsuka added with a grin, earning a sour look from Yui.

"Make that four daughters," I corrected with a tired sigh, "Come on let's get going."

"Yes, da-" started Hiratsuka. Before I cut sharply in with, "Don't, it's creepy."

Irritated, I took Homura's hand as we headed further into the park. Yui and Yukino were amused by Hiratsuka's sulk as she trudged along behind muttering under breath.

The next few hours were spent going around the various children's rides, Homura particularly enjoyed the rides she could go on alone, like a big girl. The three women laughed as I squeezed into the tiny train of a child's roller coaster, grimacing while Homura squealed with delight as we rattled along the winding metal track. Yukino had first dibs on taking her on any of the Pan-San rides of course, while Yui preferred the stalls and more sedate rides.

Most of my focus was keeping my daughter happy, while the three women talked amongst themselves. Yui especially was trying her best to casually enquire about Hiratsuka's love life or lack thereof, using her social skills to wheedle out information about the kind of guys that our former teacher liked. But our quest to find Hiratsuka a husband wasn't going well, as she was evasive and would glare at me while muttering things about. "Men not knowing what's good for them, even when it's right in front of them, ready for the taking."

In an irritable mood, Hiratsuka tore up the circuit of the Go-Kart track, encouraging Homura to drive as recklessly as possible. Giving our kart little nudges as my daughter swung the wheel from her seat between my knees. The teacher was far too pleased at winning the race and we all sighed as Hiratsuka tried to rub it in our faces, to a point where even Homura looked unimpressed. Still riding high, Hiratsuka challenged me to take on the massive corkscrewing and looping roller coaster that roared past with unnerving speed.

I wasn't particularly keen, but Homura seemed to be and was very disappointed to learn that she was too small to ride. Even if she had been tall enough, there was no way I'd let her go on something so dangerous looking. So Homura plied her energy into badgering me, because apparently she wanted to see me come off 'all green and blergh.' The other two politely declined, Yukino looking a little faint at the sight of the thing and said they'd look after my daughter while I indulged Hiratsuka.

My heart was thumping as the safety harness clamped down and the floor swung away, leaving our legs dangling in the air. I smiled wanly at Hiratsuka, as she grinned back with manic enthusiasm, desperate to get going. Her excitement made her look surprisingly young, Hiratsuka's eyes bright as the smiled back at me, it was only the odd strands of grey in her hairline that marked her age. She'd been glad to know I only saw them for a second, for then with a snap of g-forces the roller coaster train shot out of the station on its violent, but mercifully short ride.

I felt a little shaky as adrenaline crackled through my system, but fortunately the contents of my stomach stayed down. I couldn't say the same for Hiratsuka, who was looking decidedly grey and wobbly. I put an arm around her and helped her out the station, leading her to the others who were politely hiding their amusement. Homura seemed disappointed that I was okay, but was peering with morbid curiosity at Hiratsuka, as she groaned on a nearby bench.

As we stood around waiting for Hiratsuka to recover, a distant splash seemed to catch Yui and Yukino's attention. Yui started whispering to Yukino trying to encourage her to do something that she wasn't sure about, but eventually Yukino gave in and approached me.

"Hikigaya," Yukino said with an awkward attempt at casualness. "Would you like to ride the log flume, I usually go on it when I come here and thought you might like to?"

"Yui, would probably…" I started, not sure about putting my stomach through the ride's big drop and frankly, I was reluctant to leave Homura with the nauseous Hiratsuka.

"Oh, not for me," said Yui slightly over dramatically, "I'll keep an eye on these two, why don't you go and have some fun."

I sighed an "okay," reluctant to put a downer on Yukino's day, especially one she had paid for. Though Homura wasn't impressed at me going on yet another ride that she was too small for, throwing a big tantrum over the issue. It then took a great deal of promises and candy, before my daughter grudgingly let me leave. Then with Yui and Yukino exchanging cryptic smiles, I headed with Yukino up the path to the Log Flume entrance.

Our log boat began its slow meandering cruise steadily upwards, Yukino and I sitting there glancing at each other with awkward smiles. The silence becoming so uncomfortable, that not even I could stand it much longer. So as the boat clinked up an incline I said clumsily, "It's nice to get out the office, isn't it?"

"We really are terrible at small talk aren't we?" said Yukino with a chuckle. "But yes it is good to take a break once in a while."

I blushed a little as I watched the fake frozen wonderland drift past and suggested, "we should do more things like this, especially as work gets busier. Save you from going mad at the desk once your sister goes on maternity leave."

"I thought you'd given up on trying to save me, Hikigaya?" Yukino said with a raised eyebrow.

From the murky depths of my memory, a fragment rose up of Yukino asking me to save her. Her earnest smile blurring as we went over the log flume's great drop. A request I'd never been able to keep and the guilt at not remembering something so important to her, made me look away.

"I won't swoop in and save you, Yukino," I said seriously, gazing at the artificial icicles on the ceiling. "I will only help you save yourself, you know that?"

"I know," she said looking down guiltily. "After what you said at the bar, I realised that had fallen back into wanting you to rescue me from all my troubles." I could feel the cringe building up inside of me as I remembered my drunken proclamation at the bar. Yukino tapped her fingers on the safety rail in thought, before adding. "Your responsibilities towards your daughter are far more important than me and equally I have my own duties that well, that I really should be capable of dealing with myself."

I'd been thinking on my own words that night as I replied, "But I also have a responsibility to you, to Yui and to Hiratsuka as well. I've dragged us all back together, so I should at least account for turning all your lives upside down again."

Yukino frowned, "don't start trying to turn yourself into the enemy again here, Hikigaya. I think all our lives were in a pretty big mess, even before you came blundering in. Also we played our part in what happened with Iroha, so you're as much our responsibility as we are yours. So please let us help when you need us."

"I hope I never have to ask you lot to save me," I said with a smile. "You especially, have already done way more than I could ever ask of you."

"It's fine, Hikigaya," Yukino said with a slight. "I'll admit my motives haven't been exactly pure and you've already been there when I needed you, more than once." She reached over and squeezed my hand as it gripped the rail with a whispered, "thank you."

We looked at each other smiling and as the roar of water became louder, I looked at her expecting her to say something else dramatic. As we entered the open air at the lip of the falls, Yukino must have recognised my expectation and blushed. We started to laugh at ourselves, but the laughter was driven out of our lungs, as the boat dropped into the abyss.

As we exited the ride the smile from laughing with Yukino vanished, instantly I knew something was very wrong. Yui was standing alone searching left and right, her eyes wild with fear. My heart immediately started pounding as Yui ran up and squealed, "I can't find her!"

I tried to remain calm, fighting the fear and rage that was surging inside me.

I failed.

Immediately screaming at Yui, "What do you mean, you can't find her!"

"We were just waiting over there, I was talking with Hiratsuka and then suddenly Homura was gone." Squeaked Yui amongst a stream of idiotic babble.

"Where the fuck is that pathetic excuse for teacher?" I seethed wanting to throttle something.

Yui was cowering now, in between a mass of fretful gibberish she said, "Hiratsuka went to look for her, I stayed here to wait for you and in case Homura came back."

"Well, she isn't here," I said sardonically.

"Hikigaya, please stay calm, don't worry we'll find her," stuttered Yukino as she moved to protect Yui.

"Calm, you really think I'm going to stay calm!" I shouted back at Yukino as she shrank away from me. "Now get out of my way."

I shoved them both roughly aside and began my search, charging headlong through the crowd. Looking left and right, my rage making it difficult to focus. There were just too many people, too many idiots grinning and laughing, as they filled the streets with their stupidity. Though I took some pleasure in cutting their joy short, when they quickly stepped out of my way, frightened by my no doubt terrifying visage.

Yui was struggling to keep up, making my anger worse with her constant prattle of apologies, reassurances and pleas. If she put half the energy into looking as she did into filling the air with noise, she'd never have lost Homura in the first place. As I stopped at a crossroad trying to figure out which way my daughter might have gone, Yui got up in my face, trying to get my attention and blocking my view of the crowd.

"Get the fuck out my way!" I bellowed and shoved her aside, sending her crashing to the floor.

I left her in my dust and tore towards some of the attractions we had visited previously that day. The Go-Karts, a water gun range, the kid's roller coaster, a candy apple stall, but there was no sign of my daughter. I was forcing my rage to keep me moving, stopping my mind from falling into panic and despair. My head was pounding from the tension and my heart felt like it was going to tear itself from my chest, but I drove myself forwards. I pointlessly screamed her name into the din of the crowd, my throat raw from not being used to shouting so loud. Every horror that could befall Homura was cycling through my brain, tormenting my already strained psyche, as I kept pushing on.

From what seemed like miles away, I could hear one of those three fools shouting my name. But I was too busy checking the faces of the children surrounding a Pan-San performer, to care for their twittering.

"Damn it Hikigaya, stop." Came an angry voice, as a hand grabbed my shoulder.

I span around and screamed, "what!" Into the face of Hiratsuka.

"I've found your daughter, that's what!" She snapped back, wrenching the protesting child in front of her by the wrist.

Homura was whimpering as tears streaked her face and hunched down to look at her. But at that moment my relief at seeing her again was overridden by anger at her scaring me so much. I ignored the sound of the two racing up, with wheezed words of relief, my eyes were too fixed on Homura.

I gripped her small shoulder and demanded, "where the hell have you been?"

But Homura just sobbed and sniffed, rubbing the wrist where Hiratsuka had dragged her. I cleared my throat and said in my sternest tone, "you will tell me right now young lady or I will smack your bottom."

I heard Yui gasp and she stammered, "Hikki, there's no need..." But I glared her into silence and turned my attention back to Homura. I'd never had to physically discipline her before, because usually the threat had been enough. But I was so angry right now I was prepared to go through with it, as much as I knew I'd hate myself afterwards.

Homura sniffed loudly and wailed, "I wanted to go on big splash ride with Daddy. But you'd gone, then I couldn't find Auntie Ui and then, and then..." She burst into tears and anything else was unintelligible amongst the sobs, as Homura threw herself against me.

As she cried against me and as much as I fought it, I could feel my rage ebbing away, until it was just a cold fury. My head ached as the place felt too loud and my throat was hoarse from shouting. Needing a break, I stood and strode towards the nearby American style fast food joint. Dragging Homura behind me as she wailed uncontrollably, leaving the others to their distressed glances.

Inside the restaurant, we sat in a distant corner, away from the noise of the other customers. While I angrily devoured the bland burger, Homura poked at what was supposedly chicken nuggets and fries, without much enthusiasm. Until I snapped, "Eat them," with irritation and she started to slowly nibble at her food.

We sat in silence until a shadow loomed over the table and when it seemed like it wouldn't go away, I looked up to glare at them. Yukino was glaring back, quivering with suppressed rage as I sneered, "what do you want?"

Yukino took a breath to steady herself and said with forced flatness, "I want you, to apologise, to Yui."

Homura made to leave the table until I commanded, "sit right back down Homura," without taking my eyes off Yukino. Homura collapsed back into her seat and looked at her remaining food dejectedly.

"Why the hell should I apologise to her?" I asked Yukino sourly, "she's the one that should be apologising to me."

"I imagine Yui will, but..." said Yukino, her tone going from concern to worry. "Hikigaya, she's really shaken up and I think she'll be too scared to face you now, that's why you'll need to do it first."

"Scared!" I shouted. "My daughter was alone in this place, anything could have happened to her, Yui has no idea about being scared."

Yukino grimaced as the restaurant went silent and said, "I know, none us do. But please, at least talk to her, this can't turn into a battle of silence and anger again. You spoke about responsibilities to me earlier, well this is one of them or was that just talk?"

"Don't throw my words back at me," I snapped. "What about her responsibilities to me or to Homura?"

"Please Hikigaya," Yukino said her voice starting to shake. "I can't bear to see this happen again between us. Don't you think I feel responsible too, I was the one that wanted to go on that stupid ride, just to fulfil a childish desire."

I hated myself for being so weak against upset women, whether it was Yukino, Yui, Iroha or Homura. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, before saying. "Fine, I won't promise to apologise, but I will listen to what she has to say."

Yukino smiled a little as she thanked me and I grudgingly followed her out of the diner, Homura's hand tightly grasped in my own. I told myself I was only doing this because it would be the only way I'd get any peace, though a part of me was starting to feel guilty for being so angry.

Outside the sun was setting, turning the clouds into strokes of yellow and orange, as Yukino led us to a bench, where Hiratsuka had an arm around Yui. Our former teacher glared at me with anger, while Yui was hunched over, shaking as she mumbled incomprehensibly to herself. Part me wanted to still rage at her, drive home my anger by telling her to stop whimpering and beg forgiveness. But I knew I couldn't do it, Yukino had said our friend was shaken, but here she looked broken. Though at the same time I wasn't ready to let everything go, I had too much pent up inside me for that.

Yui looked up and made a frightened squeak as she saw me, huddling against our former teacher. There was a long pause as we both waited for the other to say something, the noise of the oblivious park rudely filling the void. I didn't have the patience for this right now, but as I prepared to say my piece I was suddenly yanked forwards.

"Sorry Auntie Ui," came a slightly muffled cry, when Homura wrenched herself free of my grasp and buried herself in Yui's lap. Both women on the bench were so startled, that they just sat their wide eyed for a moment. Until Yui tentatively stroked my daughter's hair and said quietly, "It's okay sweetheart, I should have been keeping a closer eye on you." Yui smiled down at her, looking like it was taking everything she had, not to burst into tears in front of the little girl.

Right at that moment I was so annoyed by the pair of them, being that sweet there was no way I could rage at Yui now, not without being the biggest arsehole in the park. While such an act certainly wasn't outside my capabilities, I could feel the desire to do slowing fading away, when had I become such a soft touch?

Readying myself, I slowly stepped towards the bench, Hiratsuka tensing as if ready to leap to Yui's defence. Before I could calm her, I heard a hissed "Hiratsuka," and glanced left to see Yukino making beckoning motions. Hiratsuka frowned and glanced at Yui, but after Yukino's continued insistence, the teacher reluctantly left Yui alone. Yukino smiled encouragingly at Yui, who returned it with a nervous nod. I watched Yukino leading the confused Hiratsuka a little way up the path, both of them repeatedly glancing back at me.

I sat down next to Yui and lifted Homura into my lap, my daughter cuddled against my chest as the park milled around us. The park lights dimmed slightly and through the crowd we could see the parade making its way along the street. As the floats passed, Homura made little appreciative gasps, but she was too emotionally worn out to get really excited.

Above the tacky fairy-tale castle, fireworks bloomed, lighting up Yui's face with garish colours. She watched the show blankly for a while and said quietly, as if to herself, "this didn't exactly go how I'd hoped."

"Does anything go how we want?" I asked ruefully, but Yui didn't respond. I was going to have to lead here and if a little girl could apologise, then I should be able to. Sure I could rant and rave about Yui's negligence, but it wouldn't make the situation better beyond the petty satisfaction of venting the last vestiges of my anger. I watched some performers dancing atop a lurid parade float and said, "I'm sorry Yui, I shouldn't have exploded at you like that. Ever since the divorce, I keep freaking out if I'm not one hundred percent sure Homura is safe, you caught the full force of that I'm afraid."

"You had every right to be angry, Hikki," Yui said with a shaking voice. "You trusted me to keep her safe and I failed both of you. I was so determined to be a great..." She paused as she swallowed and steadied herself, "auntie, that to stumble at something so basic is unforgivable."

"Yui, this isn't first time Homura has gotten herself lost," I said while rubbing my daughter's hair and adding affectionately, "isn't it you little toe rag?"

Remembering the countless times, she'd rushed off after cats, friends and ice cream, nearly giving me a heart attack every time. "If it was unforgivable then there wouldn't be many parents that would be fit for the job. I mean, you must have had the odd runaway when you're looking after the kids at the community centre?"

"Occasionally, but they usually don't stray far and we make them wear brightly coloured hats to keep track of them," Yui replied. "But with Homura it was different, I know it sounds horrible, but because she's your daughter, it made it feel a thousand times worse to lose her."

"Well as punishment for running off," I said lightly. "Next time I'll make Homura wear the loudest clothing I can find and then it'll be impossible for anyone to miss her.

"There will be a next time," Yui asked warily, "I wasn't sure you'd trust me around her now?"

"Yui, you made mistake," I said with a sigh. "We all do and I've certainly made far worse ones."

"I know but, you were so angry," Yui said, the quaver returning to her voice and clenched her fists.

"So, I've been cross with you before," I said with a shrug.

"Not," said Yui shaking her head, "not like that. I've never seen you so angry, you were like..." She stalled, looking at me with eyes portraying some of the fear she must have felt. "I don't know how you can forgive me after what I did. Even when we found Homura, I was still terrified you'd never speak to me again."

"Well we're speaking now," I said with a smile. "Yui, Homura's fine, I'm fine, we're fine." I watched the fireworks for a moment and added in serious tone. "Yukino is right, we have a responsibility to each other to not let things fall apart again, we have to keep moving forward."

I was sure about doing this, especially in full view of Hiratsuka and Yukino, but still, I leant back and put an arm around Yui's shoulders. She sighed sadly and leant against me, reaching up to grip my hand with hers.

"I don't know, Hikki," Yui said quietly. "I've always told myself if I became a mother again, however it ended up happening. That I, wouldn't make the mistakes that I see other parents make, yet here I am making one of the most basic ones."

"I promised myself all that and more before Homura was born," I said with a slight chuckle. "I think I broke most of them within the first few months. Children are far too unpredictable for such grandiose plans, you can only do your best by them and hope they turn out alright. Even if it means sometimes having to be cruel, to be kind in the long run."

I stroked Homura's hair, despite all the noise of the park she'd started to fall asleep and grumbled as she rubbed her face against my shirt. Yui smiled as she looked at Homura saying softly, "I guess I'd forgotten the kind of roles a parent has to take on. It was such a shock to see you like that, but I imagine it's just part of being a father."

"Thankfully not too big a part," I said before adding grimly, "though I've still got Homura's teenage years to get through, so I doubt this will the last time I get angry with her. Hopefully at least Homura will learn from this not to run off on her own any more, but I'm not counting on it."

Yui chuckled as she said, "looking back on how we were as teenagers, I'm amazed my mom didn't strangle me. You're in for a rough ride with that little madam I think, maybe I should count myself lucky I avoided all that."

The thought of Yui's and her mom getting angry at anything, was so comical I almost laughed. Though I'm sure there were times when they had been, especially when it came to Yui's own daughter. "Don't speak too soon," I said, "if there's going to be time when Yume seeks you out it will be her teens. So you might still get to experience the joys of teenagers."

"I don't know whether to look forward to that or not," Yui said with a tired sigh. "I'll try to only worry about it, if the time comes." I could feel her becoming heavier against my shoulder as the emotional fatigue started to take her and I looked down at Yui's closed eyes, as a peaceful smile on spread on her lips.

I could feel my own eyelids starting to droop and I shook myself awake, slowly pushed Yui upright with my shoulder. Where she blinked awake with a slightly confused expression and I said with a yawn, "We should get moving, the other two are waiting."

Yui sat upright, straightening her clothes as she agreed with me, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. With a grunt I carried the still dozing Homura over to the others and they stood to meet us, Yui close behind me.

"Is everything, okay now?" Yukino asked with a troubled expression. Like she was having difficulty deciding how she felt about the whole situation.

"I think so," I said with a sigh as I looked at Yui. She agreed simply, though she seemed distracted and wouldn't meet anyone's eyes. So I continued, "I'm sorry about getting so angry with everyone, this little one will be the death of me."

"It's fine," said Yukino smiling at the sleeping Homura. "As long as she's safe."

"Though a little gratitude wouldn't hurt," said Hiratsuka with an exaggerated pout. Though her glare seemed to be aimed at Yui as well as me.

"Thank you Shizuka," I said with a bow, "How in the hell did you find her in this crowd?"

"It was nothing," she said casually with pride. "As a teacher you are privy to certain secret skills, that allow you to spot misbehaving children at seemingly impossible ranges. I simply used those skills and certain logical deductions to trace her route to the entrance of the Log Flume."

"You got lucky didn't you?" I said with laugh.

"No, it just seemed the most likely place for her to go," said Hiratsuka stiffly. "You'd realised that if you actually stopped to think, rather than running around like a psychotic headless chicken."

"Sorry, it's kind of difficult to think straight when your little girl goes missing." I said trying to keep my irritation out of my voice.

"I imagine it is," Hiratsuka said with a sigh. "If you'd been even half as dedicated to your studies, as you are to her, then you'd would have aced every exam you took."

"No offence, but Homura is a lot more important to me than school ever was," I said stiffly.

"Oh, I know," Hiratsuka said, before muttering. "If I'd known fatherhood would be the thing to get you motivated, I'd..." She quickly cut herself short under the aghast looks of Yukino and Yui, as Hiratsuka realised where that train of thought was heading.

As she rambled into denials and apologies, I held in a laugh and said. "Anyway Shizuka, thank you again, just next time stick to roller coasters your stomach can handle."

Hiratsuka was now too embarrassed to talk, so I turned to an awkward looking Yukino to say. "Look, I'm going to take the little lady here home to bed, you three can stay and..."

"Actually I'm going to head home as well," jumped in Yui with a dramatic yawn.

Hiratsuka stretched and added, "me too, why are you three so exhausting to deal with?"

Yukino looked a little disappointed, but quickly suggested, "Let us all go, I will call my driver to pick us up at the gate."

So we headed towards the exit, Homura feeling increasingly heavy in my tired arms and I was glad to avoid carrying her all the way home. I let Yui and Hiratsuka walk ahead as Yukino hung up her phone and looked wistfully back at the park. I wondered to what degree this place was an escape for her, a place where could stop being Yukino the corporate boss, if only for a short while.

I matched her step and said, "thank you again for bringing us. I'm really sorry I ruined everything for you, especially for getting so angry, when you were just trying to help." Yukino was silent, her eyes fixed on the path ahead so I continued, "also thank you for making me talk to Yui. You were right that needed to sorted out before it became any worse, I think I scared the hell out of her."

"It was definitely a shock to system, though it was understandable considering the circumstances," Yukino said looking at me with an anxious expression. "Seeing Yui like that brought back some painful memories, I could see everything happening again if I didn't act to prevent it this time."

"Well I'm glad you did," I said with a sigh as I looked at the back of Yui's drooping shoulders. "Though I think this has freaked her out in ways we could never understand and it'll take more than a quick chat to set things right."

"The idea of being a good mother is very important to her, so this has been a bit of a setback, especially with your anger hammering her guilt home." Yukino said, watching her friend with concern as she continued, "please don't allow this to stop Yui from being around Homura."

"Of course," I said, though at the moment I was feeling wary of Homura being anywhere but in my arms. "I had been thinking of asking Yui to babysit, while I go out for a few drinks with Zaimokuza and Totsuka at some point."

Yukino chuckled, "I imagine that will be an interesting night. But please let her look after Homura, it'd mean a lot to Yui, right now."

"I might have to add a few previsions, as much for Yui's sake, as for Homura's," I considered. "But it should still be fine." As we passed through the gate, a performer in a Pan-San suit was waving us good bye as I added. "Though if anything Pan-San related comes up, I might let you deal, I mean I'll let you take Homura."

Yukino blushed at the mention of her fandom before saying, "I'm not sure I could cope with her after today, but thank you."

I looked at my daughter's sleeping face and said, "despite everything I think she'll have enjoyed today. The two of you were having such a good time on that ride, I'm sure she'll want to go again with you sometime."

Yukino's blush became brighter as she muttered a "maybe."

The car was already waiting along with distant looking Yui and frowning Hiratsuka. The driver helped us climb in, before driving off towards my home, which Yukino had decided would be our first stop. It was a subdued journey back, Homura was still dozing in her seat, while Yui was lost in her thoughts as she stared out the window. Hiratsuka was sulking about something, while critically eyeing the passing cars and Yukino had the look of a host, who knows her party guests aren't having a good time.

It wasn't long till we arrived at my apartment, and as I awkwardly lifted my daughter out, I brushed her cheek, then whispered her name to wake her a little. "Homura, time to say goodbye to everyone and make sure you say thank you."

My daughter squinted and looked about in confusion, grumbling at being rudely awoken from her slumber. She said her byes and thanks to no one in particular, before cuddling up to me again. But the three women smiled back as they waved to us both, so with a final goodbye I closed the car door and waved them off. Yukino already talking to the others as the car disappeared up the street, leaving me and Homura in silence.

By the time we got back to the apartment though, Homura had started to awaken properly and was full of beans by the time I collapsed on the couch in exhaustion. I was too tired to stop her, so I just let her have fun, hoping she would soon tire herself out again. As I was putting together a late snack, my phone rang and judging from Homura's excited answer, it must have been her mother. Homura went off on an overexcited explanation of her day at Destinyland, so I could at least tell the others that she'd enjoyed her day. Though I noticed Homura was avoiding mentioning getting lost or my reaction to it.

After some time Homura handed me the phone and Iroha's voice asked, "She got lost again didn't she?"

My words caught in my throat before I admitted, "Yes, but only for a short while. Hir- I found her quickly, though we had a fright there for a moment."

"I bet," said Iroha with a laugh. "Your three witches must have got quite a shock, after seeing what happens when you lose Homura somewhere. I remember that time when she ran off at the beach looking for ice cream, it looked like a tsunami had struck, the way you went tearing off after her."

"You were just as bad," I snorted back. "Only all your rage was aimed at me."

"True, I guess it was punishment for actually saying no to your daughter," Iroha chuckled with a sigh. "At least Homura had fun and I admit I'm a little jealous of you getting to take her."

"I'm sure she'd love to go again," I said, before adding sarcastically. "You can experience the wonder of the Pan-San Bamboo Safari, over and over again for yourself."

"I think I'll pass," Iroha said, "having to watch the TV show over and over is bad enough."

Homura was still very much awake, so I said to her mother, "She's not going to bed any time soon in this state, so you'd better say goodnight now." Handing the phone back to my daughter, they said their goodnights and Iroha eventually hung up.

After a snack, a bath and some more running around, Homura was eventually ready for bed. Though as I collapsed into my own it was clear she wasn't yet asleep from the babble coming from her room. As she sang the Pan-San theme for the hundredth time, I rolled over and covered my head with my pillow, crashing into dreams of dancing pandas.

 _[Author's Note: Hello everyone, trying a slightly different format with this chapter. That should hopefully be more concise, not to mention a lot shorter than the behemoth that was Chapter 5. As always I look forward to reading your reviews, positive or critical and hope you're keeping things genuine. - Godric.]_


	7. Chapter 7

**My After Story SNAFU**

 **Chapter 7**

 _[Hi everyone, hope you're all having a genuine August. A little change of pace this time with a lad's night out, I hope you enjoy it and as always feel free to leave reviews whether they be positive or critical. - Godric]_

It had been a long time since I'd been out drinking with Zaimokuza and Totsuka, such a social habitat wasn't really the natural place for the likes of me. But the three of us had tried to make it a thing, that we would at least try to meet up once in a while. Usually before Totsuka would disappear off to another tennis tournament or Zaimokuza would bury himself in a new project.

I'd left Homura in the care of Yui as I'd promised, even if I still felt a little apprehensive about it. It wasn't like I didn't trust Yui to take care of my daughter, it was just that when Homura was nervous she had a tendency to misbehave. I'd definitely have to call them later to make sure that the little terror wasn't running rings around her babysitter. Homura had already made enough fuss at the door to make me late and I checked the time once more as I pushed open the door to the coffee shop.

A yell of "Hey Hachiman!" Came instantly from the back of the shop and I looked to see Zaimokuza, waving an arm like some great white haired ape. Totsuka looked around and smiled cheerfully at me, a smile that made me grit my teeth against the onslaught of that cute charm.

I took a deep breath, knowing I was going to have the watch the drink and keep my wits about me, if I didn't want a repeat of what happened that one time. To say it had been embarrassing was an understatement, but that had been nothing compared to Iroha's fury. It had taken a humiliating amount of grovelling to get back in her good books and she certainly hadn't forgotten about it. Even when I mentioned meeting up with them now, she had still brought it up, though thankfully as sarcastic jibes rather than venomous insults.

I grabbed a coffee from the barista and headed over to the others, Totsuka scooting over to make room at the table. We exchanged the usual pleasantries and greetings as we sipped our drinks or nibbled at pastries. I was glad to see that Zaimokuza had dressed well for the occasion, with a shirt and smart trousers. They didn't quite fit his large frame, but it was better than the food stained anime T-shirts he usually wore to our meet ups. Totsuka on the other hand was if anything slightly under dressed, in a grey tracksuit and baseball cap, his silvery hair flowing out the back in a short ponytail. He could get embarrassed by his celebrity status, so would often try to disguise himself a little, though at the moment he just looked like the most adorable delinquent that had ever prowled the streets.

"It's going weird without Iroha here, constantly disapproving of everything and keeping an eye on you," chuckled Zaimokuza. "We'll have to make it a proper lad's night out this time, do all the awesome manly things we've always wanted to do."

This proclamation was met with a weak smile from Totsuka and a hollow laugh from myself. Considering our trio consisted of a cynical loner, a crazed Otaku and the prettiest man in town, we were as far removed from manly as it was possible to be. But yes, this was going to be out first meet up in quite a while without Iroha in tow, watching over us like a hawk. She'd claimed it was because she found the sight of me being social absolutely fascinating, though I knew it was more to keep an eye on me and Totsuka.

"Well what should we do first on this, 'lad's night out?"' I said with a resigned sigh.

"Hit the arcade!" Announced Zaimokuza punching the air with excitement. But after our less than enthusiastic response he said in a pleading tone, "come on guys. Most of my friends barely leave their homes, let alone go out on the town these days. It'll be just like old times and believe me I'm going to make you pay for the drubbing you gave me last time, Hachiman."

With a sigh that usually reserved for dealing with an over excited Homura, I looked at Zaimokuza and said, "I suppose so. If that's alright with you, Saika?"

Totsuka smiled beatifically as he shrugged, "Why not, though I'm a little out of practice with such things, so you'll have to go easy on me." There was no way anyone could not be spellbound by the puppy dog eyes Totsuka gave me. A look that sent blushes straight to the cheeks of me and Zaimokuza, but the spell was instantly broken when Totsuka suddenly burst out with laughter at the pair of us.

Zaimokuza cleared his throat and declared, "Right, let's roll out. He gulped down his coffee dramatically and slammed the cup to table, leaving Totsuka and myself to take a more relaxed stance as casually finished our drinks. Then we headed down the street to a nearby amusement arcade, Zaimokuza leading the way as he hummed a theme song. I was a little apprehensive at Zaimokuza's challenge to be honest, the closest I got to gaming these days was helping Homura when she got stuck on some phone game. So beating Zaimokuza wouldn't be easy, but I certainly wasn't going to just give up, I'll still had some pride left.

The arcade was thankfully relatively quiet as we entered, some teenagers gave us old folks dubious looks as we passed them. Making our way to a depressingly dark and distant corner, where I looked at the now 'classic' arcade machines of our youth with a geriatric sigh. Some of these games were well over 15 years old now and were dinosaurs compared to the latest technology that filled the rest of the arcade.

Zaimokuza didn't seem to care though as he sat down in front of a fighting game with a excited grin, flexing his fingers and cracking his knuckles like a concert pianist. I parked myself next to him and tried to get a feel for the controls, hoping that my muscle memory would recall the special moves of ages past. Totsuka leaned over my shoulder, peering at the screen keenly as his breath blowing a little too hot on my ear for comfort.

But I didn't have time to think of such things as the battle immediately commenced and it was clear in the first few seconds, that Zaimokuza had been practising. A flurry of special moves and combos flew my way, utterly destroying my character before I really had a chance. Zaimokuza was no sportsman and was loving every minute of it as he celebrated every victory. I was getting to the point of storming off, but with Totsuka sweet words of encouragement, I gritted my teeth and started to push back against my foe.

Zaimokuza was beginning to sweat now as the matches became closer, mainly because I'd discovered his weakness. Zaimokuza had a curious habit of shouting out the names of the special moves in time with the character in the game. But sometimes in his excitement, Zaimokuza would get ahead of himself and start saying the move before he actually did it. This momentary mistake was sometimes enough for me to dodge or counter the attack. So with a final, "Hadouk- Oh fuck you Hachiman," from Zaimokuza, I finally beat him.

But the war was far from over as Zaimokuza switched into serious mode. Gritting his teeth, the vocal prompts vanished as his fingers hammered the controls. But his confidence was shaken as my own determination kicked in and the bouts were fought to the last slivers of the heath bars. As Totsuka cheered another one my victories, Zaimokuza slammed his fists against the cabinet and bitterly complained, "I call favouritism," with a sulky face that contrasted my smug one.

Totsuka chuckled, "Sorry, it's just that Hachiman seemed to really need the support."

This wiped the smugness from my lips, especially as Totsuka gave Zaimokuza a tender pat on the head. Making the sulking man go through a complex series of expressions as he tried not to enjoy it. The pout lessening as he said, "Well I suppose that's true, family life has definitely made our dear Hachiman go a bit soft."

I laughed derisively as I suggested that Totsuka should have a go, proffering my seat to him. He shrugged and sat down taking up the controls with the relaxed air of someone who knows that he doesn't stand a chance. But actually he did better than I and especially Zaimokuza expected, though Totsuka's knowledge of the special moves was limited, his speed with the standard moves more than made up for it. As we entered into a loop of 'winner stays on,' the mood relaxed a little and the bouts were more about having fun, than a serious competition. After a few more fights we grew tired, with the old machines started to creak and our fingers starting to ache we realised it was time to take a break.

Looking around at the other machines, I forced a crane game to relinquish a toy for Homura, using all my skills, a strategic punch and a barrage of well-chosen curse words. Meanwhile Totsuka was tearing up the floor of a dancing game, his athletic reflexes allowing him to beat the game with surprising ease. Zaimokuza and myself marvelling at the speed and grace of his rapidly moving feet as without even breaking a sweat he eventually left the game with a staggering high score. Making Totsuka blush like a maiden as he tried to shrug off both of our congratulations, with royal wave.

Then looking passed us, Totsuka noticed a game that particularly perked his interest and set off to investigate. Surprised at seeing Totsuka so intrigued at something in this arcade, we followed with eyebrows raised. Finding him in front of a tennis game, experimentally swinging the plastic racquet like a samurai testing a new sword. Totsuka looked at me with excitement and said, "Fancy a game, Hachiman?"

I looked at the game screen and was slightly perturbed to see Totsuka's smiling face looking right back at me on the character select screen. Totsuka seemed to think it would be funny to play as himself, while I selected another tennis champion, who I knew was usually Totsuka's partner during doubles matches. Totsuka went bright red at my choice and hid his face as he chuckled to himself, but before I could ask why, the match started.

"Now it really is like old times," said Totsuka with happiness and he served the digital tennis ball, with a lazy swing of the plastic racquet. This was especially true for me as I only just managed to return the ball by stretching right out. Since, bar a few gentle matches with Homura in the park, I hadn't played any form of tennis since our school days. After a while I began to feel pleased with myself as I kept up the volleys and even managed to score a few points, but when I glanced at Totsuka, it was clear that he wasn't even trying. His movement was calm, with no effort being put in at all, while I was already sweating and was already trying to hide my unfit gasps.

"Come on, don't hold back," I said encouragingly through a grimace, "give me all you got."

"You sure about that, Hachiman, you want everything I can give you?" Totsuka replied with a raised eyebrow. I nodded with grim determination and he shrugged as he added with a resigned sigh, "as you wish."

I never stood a chance, even with the handicap of it all being digital, Totsuka's speed and accuracy was astonishing to behold. Usually by the time I saw the ball coming my way, it had already scored a point, leaving me rooted to the spot open mouthed. Zaimokuza was also standing there slack jawed and he panicked when I offered him a go, waving his hands as he backed away. Totsuka looked a little forlorn at my lack of challenge, so I quickly suggested he play against the machine on the hardest difficulty setting. He didn't seem that enthused, but agreed anyway as he selected the championship mode.

The first few matches were easy enough for him and Totsuka won without any problems, but as the difficulty ramped up Totsuka became more serious. Soon his digital opponents started scoring against him and gone were the cheerful blushes of old, replaced by a steely determined gaze that sent my heart a flutter. I fought the urge to take pictures of this athlete in his prime and I had to clear my head as the sight started to become too much for me. I was more than little relieved to see it was also too much for Zaimokuza as well, watching him awkwardly sneak glances up from typing on his phone.

I tried to keep my attention on the game screen, away from the real Totsuka and on to his digital counterpart. The digital Totsuka smiled at the camera after a win, patting himself with a towel and drinking some water, as he readied himself for the next match. The graphics were so lifelike it was unsettling, with the doppelganger looking exactly like the man himself from head to foot, to the point of tripping into the realms of the uncanny valley. The only thing the programmers hadn't been able to duplicate was the sheer brilliance of his smile, which I suspected was impossible and I felt a surge of pride to be able experience the real thing. Even so I made a mental note to investigate if this game was available on consoles and how much it would all set me back. Totally so Homura could enjoy it at home, of course.

As Totsuka hit his last match, teeth gritted as he narrowed his eyes at his arch rival, I suddenly realised we had an audience. Behind us a crowd of teenagers had wandered up out of curiosity, whispering to each other as they watched Totsuka play. There was no disguising who he was, even without seeing his skill, simply because Totsuka's portrait was emblazoned on the side panels of the game cabinet. But he was too lost in the game to notice the stares, though the questioning looks Zaimokuza and I were getting were making us both uncomfortable.

But then the awkwardness broke as with a great cheer from us and the crowd, Totsuka won the tournament. He turned and waved the little racquet in the air with astonishingly heart-warming smile, almost completely in sync with his digital counterpart. He then blinked in surprise at the sight of the crowd applauding in front of him and started to look more than a little anxious. Noticing his disquiet, I made a nod towards the door and Totsuka nodded back, glancing at Zaimokuza who thankfully took the hint. I was concerned that the crowd would cause trouble, but as Totsuka smiled down upon them, even the hardened delinquents were defenceless. Stepping aside and allowing him through like a prophet, with Zaimokuza and myself scurrying behind like peons.

We hurriedly left the place, but the crowd of teenagers were still following us like a small zombie horde. Totsuka made like it was nothing, but as I glanced back it was clear that he was more than a little shaken. Zaimokuza seemed to have really taken to the idea of being security for our champion, moving on ahead whilst checking corners and muttering to himself with a finger to his ear. But after a few random turns we thankfully seemed to lose the crowd, following Zaimokuza's lead as he led us to of all places, a karaoke bar.

Once we'd got ourselves a room, we relaxed for a moment on the big couches, laughing at our little rush of excitement. Totsuka immediately began apologising with an awkward smile as he rubbed his neck. "Sorry about that guys, I was so caught up in the game that I hadn't realised I had drawn a crowd."

"It's fine," I said with a shrug, "we probably needed to moving on anyway. It just fun watching you slaughter the computer opponents."

"I sure I made it look easier than it was," Totsuka said humbly. "The only times I've played it was at the launch event and when I was helping make it."

"You helped make it?" Asked Zaimokuza, looking up with sudden interest from the karaoke booth's song selection screen.

"Yeah, that had me and the other guys come in to have weird scans done," said Totsuka. "Then dance about in funny suits with white dots on, so that they could capture the way we move and microphones to capture how we sound, it was all very weird."

Zaimokuza then launched into a torrent of questions about the game's production, many of which Totsuka had no answer for. But Zaimokuza was deeply entrenched in the world of online gaming journalism and took any chance of a scoop he could get. No doubt come the morrow, there would a new video on his popular anime/manga/gaming review channel all about the tennis game. Also no doubt making sure that everyone knew that Totsuka was good friend of his, though I would know the real truth, that I was much more Totsuka's friend than Zaimokuza had ever been.

To give Totsuka a break from this interrogation I cut in with, "well it was worth it, the game looks great." Resolving again to definitely see if there was home version for Homura.

Totsuka shrugged, "That's more the work of the game company, I just messed about in a leotard."

Totsuka mimed dancing about and we all laughed, but it was clear he felt awkward talking about his Tennis career with his old school friends. To fill in the uncomfortable silence that followed, I swiftly ordered some drinks, whilst Zaimokuza selected a song from the enormous karaoke database.

While it took a large amount of alcohol before I'd pick up the microphone, but Zaimokuza held no such qualms towards embarrassment. After downing a beer, he sang happily away and again, I suspected he'd been practicing, even if his deep voice didn't quite fit with the high pitched magical girl theme song.

Zaimokuza sang a few songs until he quickly tired himself out, collapsing back and tossing the microphone to Totsuka. Who had already drunk enough to get him a little giggly and with a rosy face he picked a recent pop song and began to sing. It was then I decided I hated my younger self even more than ever, for the simple act of not encouraging Totsuka towards a career as an idol. He looked so sweet as he sang his heart out to upbeat music, even performing some of the hand movements in time with the girls on the screen. I fought the urge deep inside, that made me want to scream like an over excited fan girl and it looked like Zaimokuza was doing the same, as Totsuka danced to the cheerful love song.

More drinks came in and the microphone was passed around, I steadfastly refused to sing a full song, but joined in on the odd chorus. Enjoying watching the other two, well okay just Totsuka, singing sweetly. I was particularly impressed at how well Totsuka handled western songs, his time overseas making his grasp of English far superior to ours. Which became very apparent as Zaimokuza and I belted out, "Don't lose your waaaaaaay" in appalling English, before falling about with laughter as we fumbled the rest. Then we started to hit the drinks hard, to the point where even I managed a pop song that Homura was always singing. But then after a few complaints from the neighbours, we were politely asked to leave and we stumbled out into the night, Zaimokuza leading the way in his overly dramatic attempt at security.

It was unanimous agreement that we have something to eat, what we couldn't agree on was what we wanted. Zaimokuza was in the mood for some American style junk food, Totsuka wanted some healthy rabbit food, while I wanted a proper man's meal of delicious ramen. This argument wasn't getting any closer to a resolution, until an unnecessarily loud voice split the evening air.

"Holy shit, look who it is!"

I feeling of dread settled into my uncomfortably empty stomach as I turned to look at the source of the noise. My heart sank when I saw Tobe standing there with wild eyes, pointing an over excited finger at us. Behind him the handsome features of Hayama, quickly hid an irritated expression behind his usual relaxed smile.

"Hey, how's it going guys!" Cried Tobe as he waved excitedly at us. They both walked up, with Totsuka greeting them cheerfully, while Zaimokuza and myself merely gave sour grunts of welcome.

Tobe seemed oblivious to our lack of enthusiasm and asked in a tone reserved for long lost friends, "what are you lot doing?"

Before I could stop him, Totsuka piped up, "We're just looking for somewhere to eat, but haven't decided on where yet."

It was hard to get angry at Totsuka when he was being so innocently polite, so I had to force down my groan of dismay as Tobe cheerfully replied, "Same here. Hey let's eat together, the boys of 2-F, back on the town."

There were few times that 2-F had ever gone out together and they hadn't been particularly fun for the likes of me. Certainly the only reason I had usually gone, was because Yui dragged me and her charms were a lot more persuasive than anything Tobe could dish out. But as I was about to make some excuse, I saw how forced Hayama's smile was becoming. His smile was rapidly turning into a grimace as he stood quietly at his friend's shoulder, looking for a way out. It was then an old perverse pleasure in wiping that false smile off that face re-emerged, so I just casually said, "Yeah sure, why not."

Zaimokuza looked at me incredulously, but didn't say anything in protest as Tobe punched the air. Hayama was definitely a grimacing now, but there was no way he'd be discourteous as he kept his voice pleasant and said, "indeed, why not."

With no more argument and we went off to a nearby family restaurant where Tobe claimed, "the waitresses were especially cute." It was only a street or two away and at least should have a wide enough range to keep everyone happy, though I was conscious that we might have had too much to be especially welcome. Taking a tucked away table towards the rear of the place, we tried to keep a low profile for Totsuka's and grudgingly Hayama's sake. With the staff thankfully maintaining a professional demeanour, even if the waitress stared a little at us with wide and admittedly cute eyes.

With food and drinks ordered we settled in, allowing small talk to bounce around the table. Most of it was between Totsuka, Tobe and Hayama, while Zaimiokuza seemed to be sulking slightly at having his night out interrupted. I let them chat as I tried to relax for a bit, enjoying another drink when it quickly arrived, the waitress scurrying a bit from nervousness.

"So what are you two doing out tonight?" asked Totsuka politely, with a smile that seemed to even make Tobe and Hayama slightly uncomfortable.

"Well Hayato was having a argu…" started Tobe before Hayama stopped him with a glance.

"No, what it was," said Hayama in calm yet forceful voice. "Yumiko is having a little get together with some of her friends and thought it would be nicer if I went out with mine."

I don't think anyone at the table believed him fully, but Hayama had always had that impressive ability to silence dissenters without breaking his charming façade. This was particularly effective against Tobe, who was noticeably brought to heel by his master, with even only that slight look. Looking a little flustered at his faux pas, Tobe quickly asked us, "So what are you guys doing out tonight?"

"We were just having some fun before Totsuka heads off for another tournament," said Zaimokuza quickly with a hint of pride. "We just got to see him absolutely annihilate a tennis game at the arcade."

Zaimokuza's constant emphasis on 'we,' was definitely supposed to impress Hamaya with our inclusion into the exclusive Totsuka Club. But Hayama seemed un-phased by our privilege and merely raised a polite eyebrow, that if anything held a hint of pity at Zaimokuza's overly puffed up chest. Which if anything just cemented my view of Hamaya, as being too up his own backside to see how lucky we were and he was right now.

But as always Hayama stayed gracious as he asked Totsuka about his sports career, laughing at their joint problems with being celebrities. All accompanied by rivalling gesticulations of Zaimokuza and Tobe, as the recounted various tennis matches they'd seen, arguing over their favourite. I was content to watch, listen and observe, trying to force back any jealousy I felt towards anyone taking away Totsuka's attention.

This deep conversation was broken by the arrival of our food, that brought a grumble to my excited stomach as it was placed in front of me by a young woman in maybe her late teens or possibly her early 20s. She reminded me of a little of Yukino in her high school years, but was much more fretful as she looked awkwardly at us, then shot away after an overly polite bow.

Tobe raised an eyebrow at her, then looked at me and said with a cheeky food filled grin, "another one of yours, Hachiman?"

"What are you talking about?" I snapped, irritated at the interruption to my dining.

"That waitress was looking at you the whole time she was serving," replied Tobe with a casual wave in her direction.

"Hardly," I said incredulously. "She was probably getting giddy at these two, they are the famous ones here".

I waved a chopstick at Totsuka and Hayama, who both shook their heads as Hayama confirmed in voice of surprising seriousness, "No it was definitely you, Hikigaya."

Tobe nodded and said, "See, I thought she was maybe another one of your girls. Didn't Iroha used to always say that were into younger ones?"

I gave his mischievous grin a sour look and was about to shut him down when Zaimokuza butted in with, "that's not what I heard."

The smugness on his sauce stained face made me want to punch him right there, but Zaimokuza was oblivious to his danger as he rambled straight on. "A friend of mine is on the same college course as our good friend Hachiman here and told me that he seemed on very good terms with the teacher, a certain older woman you might know as Hiratsuka Sensei."

The table froze as they all looked at me open mouthed, food paused on its way up to their slack jaws. While Zaimokuza sat there like a fat toad, looking so pleased with himself, that it took every bit of my willpower, not to drive my chopsticks through his throat.

I took a long deep breath and said slowly, "Shizuka and myself, are just friends, nothing more." I tried to keep my calm and hoped the fool would keep his mouth shut and fill it with food instead.

He didn't and Zaimokuza commented with a wink, "first name terms ehh. Well my source said that she spends most lessons hitting on you."

"She spends most of the lesson hitting me and you can tell your 'source,' to mind their own damn business," I corrected harshly.

Something in my look finally quelled Zaimokuza into silence, so much so that Tobe jumped in with a nervous laugh. Trying to break the tension he said, "I think you should have stuck with Iroha, I mean that girl was seriously cute. But no, she wasn't good for our old pal Hachiman, now he's back living the high life with the rest of us bachelors!"

Tobe said the last part so loud as he slapped me on the back, that the waitress a few tables away dropped her thankfully empty tray with a panicked clatter. I gritted my teeth through Tobe's idiocy, readying a put down, when Totsuka spoke up quietly.

"I think it would be best, if Hachiman was to..." Totsuka paused, looking unsure of what to say as he glanced at the others. He was so nervous that my heart sped up as really began to wonder what he was going to say. Totsuka downed his drink, clearing his throat as he looked at me and said. "I feel that you and Yui would work so well together, especially with Homura too."

The sincerity of Totsuka's tone shocked me into silence, but Hamaya looked at Totsuka respectfully, as he shook his head and said. "You may be right, but still I believe Yukino would benefit the most of Hikigaya's support in her life."

Before I could stop them, they began debating the various women in my life over the years. Discussing their merits and who they thought might 'win' me, if such a thing could ever be considered a positive. Totsuka's and Hayama's talk was more serious, with topics like motherhood and psychological support being key issues. Whereas Tobe and Zaimokuza were somewhat cruder, laughing as they discussed intellectual topics like, relative breast size or best bottom. All of them downing drinks that sent their conversation along routes crasser than anything I could imagined, especially from Totsuka and Hayama.

As I nursed my own drink, I could feel my eye beginning to twitch as I listened to them babble on. Their voices and laughter blurring together as I stewed alone in my anger. Trying to stop myself from losing it, as they made their, oh so funny jokes about the women who were not only my friends, but in some cases theirs as well. Yeah my love life was a fucking joke, but having this lot point it out by laughing at it, was not.

I was pondering their fates, when I was snapped out of the depths of my anger, by a light punch to my upper arm. I glowered at the offender as Zaimokuza said, "Maybe he should take them all and be Hikigaya Hachiman the Harem Ki..."

Zaimokuza's joke was cut off, by my hand shooting out and grabbing his collar. I yanked his eyes to mine, my breath fogging his glasses as he blinked in panic. "Don't you dare finish sentence," I growled at him. "They aren't some two dimensional bimbos from some crappy dating sim, they are real women, not that you would know much about that!" Zaimokuza tried to splutter an apology, but I was too angry to let him, as tightened my grip to say. "If you think Shizuka is so great, take her, please. You know by now she may actually be sad and lonely enough to say yes, to a loser like you."

"Hey, hey, come on Hachiman," said Tobe with a nervous laugh as he tried to put a hand between us. "We were just having a little joke around; you know just having a laugh."

I flung Zaimokuza away and rounded on Tobe, "Really, I'm so glad you found my divorce so fucking funny. Because I know Iroha certainly thought our marriage was one big joke and I tell you what, if you want her so bad, you can have her, you have my blessing. Maybe then you can find out just how cute Iroha can be."

"Hikigaya" said Hayama in a commanding tone. But his frown faltered as my eyes narrowed on him and Totsuka.

"As for you two, as for Yui and Yukino," I said in between angry breaths. Standing there glaring at the pair, feeling a torrent of rage, waiting to explode out at them. But the words, the words, just would not come.

"Yukino and Yui," I said again, gritting my teeth as I slammed my fists against the table in frustration. I swept a quivering finger over the four of them, as I said "Do you think I asked for this, do you think I wanted this. Those two are the best friends a guy could ever have, they took me back even after all the pain I caused and I know now I may have no choice but to hurt them again."

There wasn't a sound from the rest of the table as I glared them down, even the fear in Totsuka's cute eyes did little to calm me. So I forced myself on, "do you think I want to hurt them, hurt them like I did Iroha. They've been through so many hardships over the last few years, things I should have been there for, but I wasn't. Now I'm going to make one or both their lives even worse and you all, all of you, think that's funny?"

They shook their heads in scared silence, as I looked at them through blurred eyes. Cursing internally as I felt a tear on my cheek, I angrily wiped away my shame and said finally. "Actually maybe you're right, maybe I am a joke, maybe I should be laughing." My hard snorting breaths quickened into a harsh nasty laugh as I glared at them. They gave me the awkward, scared look reserved for guys who get emotional in public, so I grabbed my jacket and pushed away from the table.

"Hachiman, wait," said Totsuka quickly.

"I'm just going," I snapped, "to call Yui." Then glaring at the sudden shock on their faces, I added sardonically, "She's babysitting Homura." There was a nervous nod of understanding and I shook my head in irritation, pushing past the confused waitress as I went out the door.

Outside I collapsed onto a bench in the park opposite, breathing in the evening air, trying to cool my mind before I made the call. Trying not to cringe at how badly I'd lost it in there, I had to put it aside for a moment while I checked everything was okay at home. With a sigh I pulled out my phone, flicking through the contacts until I came to Yui's entry. I couldn't remember when I had added the constellation of stars around her name, but it had seemed somehow wrong without them.

It took a worrying number of rings until a slightly out of breath voice answered the phone. "Hi Hikki, sorry about that, I was just giving Homura a bath, one sec." There was a fumbling noise before a more assured voice said, "There, right, sorry my towel was slipping."

I tried to keep my drink addled mind off thoughts of Yui's slipping towel and asked, "How's she been?"

"Yeah, we've been having fun, mainly with glitter," said Yui with a slight sigh. "I'm afraid it's made a bit of mess, hence why I was giving her bath."

I groaned a little as Yui said that, because Homura loved sticking glitter to things. Unfortunately, the glitter got everywhere, you'd find in clothes, all over the bath and even in your food. Sometimes it'd be months later and you'd be miles from home, stick your hand in pocket and pull it out to find it covered in glitter. I sighed and said, "At least Homura's enjoying herself." Then I changed track and added, "what about you, how are you holding up?"

Yui seemed a little surprised to be asked, but stammered, "Yeah I'm fine."

But I caught the hesitation in her voice and asked more seriously, "are you sure, you can say if something is wrong?"

There was a pause and Yui sounded unsure as she said, "I don't know Hikki. Sometimes it feels like Homura's purposefully choosing to do the opposite of what I suggest. I mean, I brought over what I thought would be fun things to do, but she always wants do something else and at dinner she was constantly changing her mind. She's calmed down a bit now, but it was really getting to me for a while."

To be honest I had been expecting this, so I told her, "Homura can be like that, especially around people she doesn't know that well. She's probably just testing you, so you've got to be firm with her, you have my permission to be."

Yui gave an unsure sigh then added, "Considering her parents, I guess I shouldn't be surprised if your daughter is rather headstrong and insists on doing things her own way."

I laughed dryly back and asked, "very true, though can I have a word with her?"

I heard Yui call for Homura as her voice began to echo from the bathroom tiles. I smiled as I heard an excited 'yay,' with accompanying splash and the pat of wet feet.

"Hiya Daddy!" Came the expectedly enthusiastic cry.

"Hi Sweetie," I said clearing my throat in an attempt to try and make sure there was no hint of drunkenness in my voice. "Have you been good for Auntie Yui?"

There was a long pause followed by a drawn out, "yeeeessss," that ended in a giggle.

"I mean it young lady," I said sternly. "You will behave yourself or there will trouble."

I could tell Homura was pouting even over the phone, as she mumbled in a child's attempt at a whisper, "but Mummy said she was a meanie."

"I don't care what Mummy said" I scolded. "Auntie Yui is an adult, which means she is boss and you do as you're told, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Daddy" Homura muttered quietly.

"What was that?" I said tersely.

"Yes Daddy," Homura chanted with hint of obstinacy, that I was just going to have to let slide till I got home.

"Good girl," I said, "Now I'll say goodnight to you now. Then I want you to brush your teeth, get ready for bed and if I hear you've been naughty, I won't be happy."

Sulky goodnights were wished and kisses blown, before my daughter finally gave the phone back to Yui. I heard Homura singing a going to bed song as she put on her pyjamas as Yui said softly, "you didn't have to do that Hikki."

Yui sounded a little shaken, but I assured her, "Homura needs to learn to respect adults, so don't be afraid to put your foot down. I'll also have a word with Iroha about what she's been saying to her."

"Hikki, you certainly don't need to do that, it's fi-" started Yui.

"No," I said in a harder tone than I had intended. "I won't have you or Yukino being bad mouthed by anyone, especially to my daughter."

There was a pause then Yui said with concern, "Is everything okay, you've seemed off this whole time we've been talking?"

I sighed, closing my eyes more moment I said, "I'm fine, just having a crazy night. Look, if Homura isn't going to sleep try a bed time story, she really likes 'A City With No People' for some reason. Then you're free to make yourself at home and relax, don't worry about waiting up from me."

"Okay," said Yui with still some concern in her voice. "Say hi to Saika for me and try not to get in any trouble, I heard about what happened with you two before."

I groaned as Yui giggled lightly and I said, "Don't you worry we'll be fine, I'll see you later."

"Bye Hikki," said Yui cheerfully, "hope you have fun."

I felt something else almost leap off my tongue automatically as I said 'bye.' I quickly ended the call, before it had another chance and leaned back against the bench, taking in a deep breath to clear my head as I stared at the stars.

There was rustle beside me and I grimaced as looked down to see the waitress standing awkwardly in front of me. I sighed with embarrassment and reached for my wallet as I said, "sorry about that, let me sort out the bill."

I watched forlornly as the poor girl, who could barely meet my eye. Blushed and stammered, "It's fine sir, I was just making sure everything was okay."

It was then that Totsuka appeared and patted my shoulder saying, "Don't worry Hachiman, I sorted it out." The angelic nature of his smile, really not helping me feel any better this time.

"I'm sorry," I said to the waitress as I squinted at her name tag, "Rumi. I hope I didn't cause too much bother for you and everyone else in the place." She glanced back at her manager who was watching her from the door, the girl must have been the sacrificial lamb sent out to deal with the crazy guy. So I gave her a commiserating smile and said, "Look, I'm fine, you can get back to work, hopefully the rest of your shift will be quiet."

She dithered, looking like she ought to say something grander, but instead just thanked me and rushed back inside. She took one last look at me and I gave a her an apologetic smile, while her manager glowered at her till the door closed.

"Are you sure you're alright, Hachiman?" Asked Totsuka as he sat down next to me. This time his true angelic nature was proven as he passed a can of Max Coffee to me.

I downed almost all of its wonderfully harsh bitterness in one gulp, feeling the invigorating surge of caffeine as it cut into my stupefied brain. "Yeah and I really am sorry about everything earlier," I told Totsuka. "I just can't seem to get a grip, especially when it comes to anything involving Yui and Yukino."

"It's us that should be sorry," said Hayama suddenly as he sat down on my other side. He glared at Zaimokuza and Tobe as they sat on a bench opposite, before adding, "we were all rather, ungentlemanly back there."

The pair looked away like naughty school boys and said nothing as the drunk their own cans of coffee, adding to our groups overwhelming silence. Totsuka's guilty look didn't suit him, but he pushed the conversation as he asked, "how are Homura and Yui, you seem much better for talking to them?"

"Well Homura, is being Homura, which is stressing Yui out a bit," I said with a light laugh. "But otherwise they're fine and yeah, I think talking to them did level me out a bit."

This seemed to particularly please Totsuka as he finished his can and tossed it expertly into the bin opposite. "I'm really glad you let Yui looked after Homura," he said, "she's been so much happier these days."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," I said forlornly. "She seems to spend most of her time in my presence either stressed or crying her eyes out, the same goes for Yukino."

"For Yukino to even let you see her like that, shows how much you mean to her," said Hayama with a hint of sadness as he looked at the sky. "You're very lucky Hachiman, she is not a forgiving person, believe me."

"I'm not expecting forgiveness," I said bitterly, "I'm just trying to make things better for them, try and be the friend I should have been."

"I respect that," said Hayama firmly, "I don't want to see them hurt either, they're my friends as well."

"And you've been such a great friend to them," I said sarcastically. "That's been quite clear."

The flash of anger in Hayama's eyes was so filled with pain, that I thought he was about to swing the fist he was clenching on his knee. He took a deep breath and said slowly, "Do you think I didn't try to reach out to Yukino. Unlike you, I didn't get a free pass and open arms. So I had to watch her struggle, while she rebuffed any attempt I made to help her. No matter how badly I wanted to or how many times it caused problems between me and Yumiko."

"As for Yui," said Hayama as his face became grim, looking past me at Totsuka's pained expression. "When she cut contact with everyone, it was really hard for all of us, especially Yumiko. She nearly went crazy from worry as she tried to track Yui down and it didn't improve when Yumiko finally found her and…" Hayama broke off, glancing at Tobe and Zaimokuza, reluctant to divulge anymore of Yui's private life in front of them. "Well you know or at least I hope she's told you by now."

I nodded solemnly to answer him and Hayama looked a little relieved. Totsuka rubbed the calluses on his fingers and said, "if I'd known, I would never have taken that sports scholarship overseas. I'm not sure what I could have done, but I wish I could have done something."

"Believe me, Saika," I said patting his shoulder, "I know how that feels. With so much at my feet, I don't where I even start to repay my debt to them, even though I know they'd both claim there isn't one. I just wish everyone would get off my case about this, trying to make me choose one or the other before I've even begun to heal the hurt I've caused."

"I and think all here, are sorry for the jokes we made earlier," said Hayama, before pausing to contemplate his words. "But be aware that there are those who are will be more forceful in making the decision for you."

"Well quite frankly, they can go fuck themselves," I snapped.

Hayama smiled as he gave a bitter laugh, but it quickly vanished as he looked me dead in the eyes. "Some words of advice Hikigaya, be careful when dealing with Haruno. She does not take kindly to people not playing by her rules and going against her plans. I believe for example, that she has invited you to her wedding, has she not?"

"Yes," I said slowly, "she insisted on wanting Homura there. Something about cute little flower girls making a wedding brighter and the like. But don't worry I know why Haruno really wants me there and that's because of Yukino, I'm not stupid enough to take anything Haruno says at face value."

"Good, I'm glad you realise that," said Hayama, his expression still grave. "I just didn't want you…"

Don't worry I'm not going to make a scene at her wedding, for fuck sake," I said incredulously.

"I didn't think you would," replied Hayama. "It's just that Yukino will be feeling under a lot of pressure around her extended family and I don't want you accidentally hurting her or causing more strife with her sister. I think we we're both in agreement that we want to avoid any more of that."

I nodded reluctantly hating to agree with Hayama, but he was right. So I just said, "this is why I get so angry when someone treats all this like it some big game. Heck, I don't know why everyone is so interested in my love life anyway?"

"Because we don't want to see them getting hurt either," said Totsuka kindly, "nor you for that matter. I know the kind of things you're prepared to do and the sacrifices you're willing to make if you think it will help people, but I'm afraid that will no longer be acceptable."

There were too many nods and general voices of agreement for me to counter with anything harsh, especially directed at Totsuka. I sighed, fighting the little warm glow inside, that I really didn't want to feel right now and said, "fine. But can we talk about something other than love life now, it's depressing."

Unfortunately, no one seemed sure what to discuss next and a silence blew between us as we all looked about for something to talk about. The discomfort got to Tobe first, who must have been finding it difficult to not talk for that length of time, so leaning back he sighed dramatically and said, "Yeah Hachiman's love life is bor-ring. So Zaimokuza old buddy, what about yours?"

Zaimokuza spat out his coffee and looked about in panic, probably hoping Tobe was addressing another Zaimokuza that might be casually walking by. He stammered as his cheeks reddened, before attempting to restore his dignity by straightening his coat and coughing dramatically. He looked at me with a disgruntled expression as his puffed himself up and said, "Actually Hachiman I'd wanting to correct your earlier statement."

I looked at him without comprehension, as I had little patience for his bluster and he continued in a lawyer like tone. "You accused me of never experience with real women, that I'd only indulged in the 2nd dimension, when actually, I have had a girlfriend."

"A real one?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow. "Dating games, waifus and pillows don't count." I knew I was being mean to him, but his pompous tone was really grating me right now.

"Yes, a real one!" he shouted a little too loudly. "I also talk to many female manga artists and voice actresses, so in many respects I probably talk to more women than you, Hachiman."

I had to give it to him, Zaimokuza probably did talk to more women than me, his fame online for a long standing channel of passionate news and review videos. Meant he regularly conducted interviews with a variety of names from within the industries and certainly had them within his network of contacts. It was no doubt just business for these women, but Zaimokuza didn't seem to care as long as he could brag about it. Though I admit I was curious who this girlfriend was though, even if I had picked up a hint of the past tense in his tone.

Totsuka seem to have sensed it too, as he asked, "Are you and your girlfriend still together?"

Zaimokuza sighed dramatically as he said, "sadly we are spending time apart at the moment. For our love is like a comet orbiting the sun, when we are close our passion burns too hot and one is forced to spin wildly away. Only to be brought back, crashing together by the fate of the stars." The rest of us looked at him with weirded out expressions until he added quietly, "that and her taste in manga is questionable, to say the least."

"Aww well mate," said Tobe slapping Zaimokuza on the back. "You win some, you lose some, but at least you got some."

Hayama sighed as Tobe laughed at his own wit. Then no doubt wanting to get the subject off a passionate Zaimokuza, Hayama said, "You shouldn't be so carefree with the hearts of women, Tobe. I've had to deal with yet another call from Haruno complaining about you causing problems with her staff."

"I don't know what she's talking about," said Tobe with a shrug. "Am I not supposed to talk to the girls at the office now. It just a bit of banter to break up the day, nothing serious you know."

"That's the problem," said Hayama, "you don't take it seriously. Why can't you just pick one and settle down, before Haruno has to fire you."

Indeed, Tobe had his own infamy within the Yukinoshita headquarters, it seemed like on every floor there would be some office girl that would come up and talk to him as he worked. He saw it as just friendly talk, but there had been a few incidences where these women had crossed paths and horns. Tobe was oblivious to it all, of course and it never seemed to go beyond casual flirting, but it had caused Haruno more than one headache. Thankfully the company's female population gave me a wide berth on the other hand, quite which reputation made them do this, I wasn't sure, but I was glad for it.

Meanwhile Tobe said dismissively, "Nah, they're nice girls and all, but nothing special." He then paused for a moment and much to my surprise an idea popped into Tobe's head. Turning to Zaimokuza he awkwardly asked, "say old pal, you said you know loads of those manga writers. You haven't run into or heard from Ebina at all, hav-"

"She is not for the likes of you!" Exploded Zaimokuza suddenly, pointing a quivering finger between Tobe's eyes. He was so loud that everyone jumped, including a passing couple who quickened their step, whilst giving us nervous glances.

Zaimokuza blinked the wild look away from his eyes and straightened his glasses, coughing as he realised his faux pas. "What I meant to say," Zaimokuza said formally. "Is that Miss Ebina's, eccentricities mean that she is unlikely to find you appealing Sir Tobe. Certainly not unless you started kissing one of our friends over there and then she'd be only interested in that, not you."

Tobe looked at us curiously and Hayama glared back. Tobe then deflated as he muttered, "I'd hoped she might have grown out of that stuff."

Zaimokuza shook his head as he rolled his eyes, but it was Hayama that said, "sadly not."

"Ebina and her," Hayama paused as he searched for the correct term, "publications cause me no end of trouble. In fact, we're lucky she hasn't seen us sitting here, she'd probably have an aneurism seeing the three of us together." He then started glancing around in a nervous way that seemed at odds with his usual cool demeanour and I found myself doing the same, checking the bushes for signs of that blood stained top lip.

Totsuka on the other hand seemed to find the whole thing rather amusing, giggling at our paranoia, while he wiped his eyes and he shook his silvery hair. "They're actually very funny stories, my partner nearly lost his mind when he found out one of the characters was based on me."

"You're lucky," said Hayama. "Yumiko and Hina haven't seen eye to eye in a long time over that, she also blames me for encouraging Hina to write in the first place."

"Yeah, Iroha wasn't a fan of Ebina's work either," I added. "Though I heard she finds it hilarious now."

Totsuka smiled and said, "though I agree it would be best for her, that we weren't seen together. She was found passed out not long after you left that signing event Hachiman, it was quite concerning." As Totsuka's smile faded he looked at Zaimokuza and added, "If you could keep an eye out for her that would be great."

Zaimokuza nodded with a surprisingly serious expression, quickly followed by Tobe who looked he was trying to be even more serious. "I think we should take that as a sign we should move on," said Hayama as he stood and stretched. There were general sighs of agreement as this group of old farts cracked their joints and began to walk away together.

I had planned to head for home about now, but a call of nature took me into the nearest bar to use their facilities. The others seemed to have the same need, so we all piled in there and because it would be rude not to, we stopped for another drink.

To be honest things after that get a little hazy, but I've managed to piece together most of what happened from my scrambled memories and some anecdotal evidence. But I am sure we went to a few more bars and drank a considerable amount of alcohol. By the state of my throat I'm pretty sure singing was involved at some point, but whether we went to another karaoke place is unclear. I remember trying and failing to beat Totsuka at downing shots, for such a slight guy he could seriously put them away, far greater than anyone else there.

Zaimokuza was the first to fall and we ended up having to dragging his sorry arse to his shop a few streets away. It took some time to open the door, until we remembered the keys were in Zaimokuza's pocket, then it took some time to get around the narrow confines of the shop, until we dumped him near the counter. I have strangely vivid image of leaving him on his shop floor, being watched over by a harem of dakimakura pillows, cuddling up to his favourite yandere like a giant baby.

Feeling hungry again we staggered off to eat the best ramen I have ever tasted and which sadly I have never found again. But our delicious meal was interrupted by Hayama receiving a very angry call from Yumiko, demanding to know where he was. Tobe, Totsuka and myself howled with laughter as Hayama held the screaming phone at arm's length, with a bemused smile on his face.

Hayama promised that he was about to head home, though we had a few more drinks anyway as we wolfed down the last of the ramen. Tobe was really starting to flag by this point and was half asleep, muttering a very ill-conceived plan to win Ebina's heart. Hayama shook his head and nearly fell over saying, "give it up Tobe. Hachiman has enough to deal with, without dragging you out of another mess with Hina." This sent Tobe into sulk and it took some convincing until he finally would leave with us, out to find a taxi that might carry us home.

The taxi meandered its way around town as we first dropped Tobe off home, before heading to mine. Hayama patted me on the knee and said in a slurring voice, "I really am sorry for what happened earlier Hachiman. All I want is for Yukino to be happy, you understand that don't you. Regardless of what else happens between you three, I just want her to be happy."

He wiped away a tear and I reassured him saying, "Don't worry mate, that's all I want too."

"Good," Hayama grinned with exaggerated nods. "See, we really are both alike, in the end."

"Fuck off," I replied jovially and laughed at him.

Totsuka wobbled as he tried to focus a pointed finger at me, eventually saying, "Just make sure you keep Yui happy too. She's, an absolute treasure and believe me if I went that way, I'd snap her away from you in a second."

I tried to focus on his snapping fingers and felt rather queasy, managing to sigh a "I'll try" with a dramatic shrug.

"Just remember whatever you decide, Hachiman, I'll support you all the way." Totsuka then gave me smile so beautiful, that I wanted to order the taxi to turn around and head straight to the nearest church.

But before I could act, the car suddenly slowed and Totsuka suddenly leaned towards me. His thin body pressing against my chest, making my heart pound as his blushing cheek brushed mine. Then he reached past me and with click of a door latch, he broke my heart into a thousand pieces.

"This is your stop, Hachiman," said Totsuka with a smile, pushing me out of the car door. I watched aghast as I fell out into the cold dark world in slow motion. The thunk of pain as I hit the concrete, nothing compared to the pain inside, as I watched Totsuka pulled the door shut and wave. The taxi pulled away and I tried to chase after him, put my legs wouldn't work properly, causing me to crash back to the street. I lay on the pavement in despair as the taillights disappeared off into the distance, until I eventually forced myself to crawl like a lame dog back home.

The front door was being troublesome and there was something wrong with my key, but I was saved when an even more beautiful angel opened the door. Light glittered in her hair and on her cheeks as she smiled upon me, her top and jeans fitting her curves perfectly. I stepped inside into her waiting arms and stumbled on the step.

"Steady on Hikki," said Yui awkwardly as she caught me. "What the, how much did you drink, I thought you were only going out for a few?"

"I only had a few," I declared and pushed past her to find some coffee. But I despaired as I couldn't find any in the cupboards or bins or under the sofa cushions.

"You drank the last of the coffee before you left, remember," Yui sighed, turning me towards my bedroom. "Now, I think you should just go straight to bed before you wake Homura up."

At the sound of my daughter's name I fought Yui off and made for Homura's bedroom. I eased open the door and watched here tiny, adorable form as she cuddled up to Pan-San in the midst of a peaceful slumber. "Night, night, sweetie," I whispered.

"Jeez, not so loud," hissed Yui, "it took me ages to get her to sleep." She pulled the door shut and frog marched me to my bedroom, I tried to struggle but my limbs weren't obeying commands. "Come on, get to bed you… Hey none of that, …it's time for old booze hounds, to… go… to… sleep."

Then with a final shove, another person I loved pushed away into the darkness. I flailed at her as my heel caught and I collapsed on to the bed with a grunt. I tried to get up, but my arms wouldn't take the weight and the comfort of the bed was drawing me in whether I liked it or not. Sleep was consuming me and through half closed eyes I saw a shadow move in the darkness, to lean over me. I felt that special warmth of her pushing against me as she kissed me on the cheek. But before I could pull her closer, she stood up and scurried away, her curvaceous silhouette framed in the light of the door as she looked back.

"Night night, Hikki," Yui said softly. I wanted to say something to her, something important, but my mouth wouldn't form the words. I reached out for her, but she simply smiled and walked out, closing the door behind her. I groaned with frustration in darkness and lost the fight against a heavy, uncomfortable sleep.

The next morning was filled with pain, as I desperately wished I could reset to zero or at least the previous morning. My stomach lurched as I struggled to my feet, every joint stiff and uncoordinated. I looked with despair at the beer and ramen stained clothes I still had on, staggered forwards like zombie. Like much of my life, opening the door was a mistake, the brilliant sunlight streaming in to scorch my eyes like a nuclear fire.

"Morning Daddy!" came an impossibly high and loud voice, as something small nearly knocked me over with a hug. Then my daughter jumped back and exclaimed with a giggle, "pee-eww daddy, you stink."

Another laugh sounded across from the kitchenette, as Yui appeared with smile. "Wow, you really do look like hell Hikki," she said, walking towards me like a saint with some pills and a glass of water. "I hope you don't mind me staying overnight, only you looked like you'd need the help in the morning."

"That's fine, you're welcome to stay anytime, especially when you're bearing gifts," I said, taking the proffered painkillers. Adding a grateful, "thank you," I downed them and grimaced at the sensation of the water rolling in my stomach, hoping they painkillers would kick in soon. Staggering to the bathroom, I spent some time trying to get myself back into the realms of being human again. Though my attempt to relax in the bath, was cut brutally short by Homura deciding that she wanted to join me, filling my aching head with shouts and splashes.

Yui chatted with me awkwardly through the half open door, asking how things had gone the night before. I told her bits and pieces that I remembered, keeping only to things that were funny. There were some things I didn't want Yui to hear about, especially as I had promised to try and keep her happy. Though Yui seemed fascinated by us bumping into Hayama and Tobe, asking questions about how they were, to a level of detail that was beyond my drunken memories. Though it did trigger a question in my mind as I asked her, "Did you know about anything going on between Ebina Zaimokuza?"

Yui coughed a laugh when she replied with, "Hina said they'd dated a few times, but I'm not sure about actually going out."

"Ahh, so he was exaggerating it then?" I said back with a chuckle.

Yui pondered for a moment then said slowly, "I'm not so sure, Hina was unusually vague on the subject when we last talked and she quickly changed the subject back to, erm her stories."

I sighed and commented, "well she'd loved last night. Me, Totsuka and Hayama out on the town together, I bet she'll lose her mind when she finds out. Though you'd better warn her that Tobe was asking after her and there's no way I'm sticking my neck out for that lot again."

"Yeah I'll tell her," said Yui with a laugh that sounded a little hollow. Before adding distractedly, "I've been making some, well it's technically lunch now, but if want to call it breakfast you can. Anyway it's nearly ready, so if you two want to finish up in there, it's waiting for you."

I heard Yui's feet pad off and Homura yelled, "yay lunchtime!" Leaping out of the bath so fast, that I had to grab her, before she went running around the apartment naked. After drying and dressing, we stepped back into the front room, the sun thankfully no longer quite so bright.

Homura giggled as my stomach gurgled at the smell of Yui's cooking, as I realised just how hungry I was. Sitting down at the kitchen counter, I helped Homura on to her stall and smiled at Yui as she started to fret at our expectations. Her phone rattled by the chopping board and I saw a message flash on the screen, I couldn't read it, but I could see the distinctive cat picture that meant it was from Yukino. Yui glanced at it and gasped, quickly fishing something out of the oven, sighing slightly at the slightly burnt edges as she began to serve up.

The phone buzzed again and another cat appeared, Yui picked it up, typing a reply as she said. "I asked Yukino for some tips and now she won't stop worrying, I swear she thinks I'm going to burn the house down or something."

"I'm sure we'll both eat it all up," I said supportively. Giving Homura a look as she poked some vegetables dubiously and adding, "won't we."

Homura munched on the greens grumpily and Yui looked like she was about to say something, but I silenced her with the look too. I was quite proud of the power of my look, maybe my rotten eyes amplified its power to some degree, though how long its effectiveness would last I didn't know. I watched Yui as she munched on the left over vegetables with about the same enthusiasm as my daughter, when suddenly the doorbell rang.

"Mummy?" Said Homura excitedly, making my heart jump up my throat as we all looked towards the door.

Yui immediately started to panic, looking about for a place to hide or a means of escape. "Hikki, where should I go?" She squeaked.

"Nowhere," I said firmly. "You've done nothing wrong and have nothing to hide, just stay here while I deal with her." Yui wasn't convinced and muttered to herself in worry. Making me reach out and squeezed her hand as I said, "it'll be fine, I promise."

Yui whimpered a little, but squeezed my hand with her other and smiled weakly. I saw Homura trying to slide off the stool and commanded her to stay and finish her lunch, I didn't need my daughter complicating things before I knew the state of the situation. So I ignored the tongue she stuck out and headed for the door, opening it slowly to be met by a pout that was both adorable and terrible to behold.

"What is the meaning of this brother?" demanded Komachi.

"The meaning of what?" I asked irritably, my brain still not up to dealing with anything this morning.

"You knew," said my sister angrily. "You knew I'd been wanting to spend time with Homura, it's been ages since I've had a chance to have fun with her."

"Yeah and…" I said with a shrug.

"And it never crossed your mind your mind to ask me to babysit, while you went out getting rat arsed," Komachi said. "I mean my brother actually being social for once was a shock in itself, but to realise I'd been passed over was too much. I know for a fact she wasn't with Iroha, nor mum and dad, so I really hope you didn't prioritise Iroha's folks over me."

My sister pushed passed me demanding, "I mean, where is she…" but was cut off by the excited cry of, "Aunty 'Machi" coming the other way. I found them hugging and Komachi scowled at me saying, "See she's desperate to see me."

Then a movement caught my sister's attention and she looked up at Yui, who was cowering in the kitchenette. Komachi's eyes went between me and Yui, her eyebrows raising with each sweep. Yui gave a timid wave and squeaked a, "hi."

Komachi started to slowly say my name, but I cut her off as I said with an exasperated sigh, "Yui was looking after Homura. I promised her quite some time ago and this was the perfect opportunity, don't worry you'll have first dibs next time."

Komachi turned and narrowed her eyes dramatically at Yui, who bowed apologetically. Rapidly adding, "I'm sorry Komachi, I didn't know you wanted to babysit. It's just that I… I…"

Yui was getting redder and redder, as she flustered. Which softened my sister's face into a smile as she said after a deep breath, "Okay Yui, because it's you, I'll let you off. But next time brother, ask me as well and we'll both look after her, I mean who can resist this adorable little thing."

Homura howled and tried to fight off her aunt as she mussed my daughter's hair happily. Yui breathed a visible sigh of relief, leaning back against the kitchen side and downing a cup of tea. I shook my head and asked my sister, "so how did you know I'd been out, I don't remember telling you?"

"No, you never do," Komachi sighed, followed by a nod of agreement from Yui. "If you actually bothered to check online, you'd seen your new pal Tobe has posted a rather amusing picture of you lot last night."

I groaned in despair as Yui suddenly grabbed her phone and started rapidly tapping, before gasping with amusement. "This one?" Yui asked with a grin on her face as she passed her phone to Komachi.

"Yep, that's the one," said Komachi with a mischievous smile as she showed it to me. I grimaced as I tried to keep the phone out of my daughter's hands, as she jumped up and down, desperate to see.

I had zero recollection of this picture been taken, but It showed me squished between Hayama and Totsuka. With Tobe leaning in with his arm outstretched to hold the phone and Zaimokuza pulling an anime pose at the back. I suppose it wasn't terrible and at least I wasn't kissing anyone this time, but I still wasn't happy to see it. Most people would have considered it a nice fun party photo, but I hated photos like this and as my embarrassment over took me, I collapsed back onto the couch.

My heart sank as beneath the picture some comments had already been posted and unsurprisingly Ebina was first. The string on abbreviations, emojis and terminology I did not want to know the meaning of. Led me to hope there was someone with her to take the crazed fujoshi to hospital and she wasn't bleeding out somewhere alone. Also unsurprisingly there was a reply from Tobe, that filled with friendly words, but his intent was subtle as a brick. This had in turn made Zaimokuza post a thinly veiled threat to Tobe and Hayama telling them both to shut up and take the picture down.

I sighed as my sister plonked herself down next to me and hefted Homura on to her lap. Taking the phone, she showed my daughter the picture and though Homura thought, "Daddy looked funny," she seemed far more interested in Totsuka. Komachi chuckled as she played with Homura's hair and listened to her niece babble on about tennis and her favourite tennis star.

A shadow made me look up and Yui was standing awkwardly as she slipped her handbag on to my shoulder. "Okay, I should probably be going now," Yui stammered. "Thank you Hikki, for…"

"Oh no you don't," cried Komachi suddenly and grabbed Yui's hand. My sister then pulled Yui around, sending her stumbling partly into the empty spot on the far side of the couch and partly on to my lap. Yui went bright red and slipped on to the couch proper, with a string of apologies, which I brushed away as tried to hide my own embarrassment.

As Yui collected herself and looked like she was going to make another attempt to leave. Komachi pinned her down with a barrage of questions and soon the two women were chatting away again, mainly about how useless I was. Homura was trying to join in with her own random comments, which usually brought 'awws' and laughs to the conversation, but mostly it was just between the two of them.

I leaned back, trying not to let their nattering get to the remnants of my hangover. Stretching out my arms along the back of the couch, I let the sun warm my closed eyelids and wished above all things, that I had a nice can of Max Coffee in my hand.


	8. Chapter 8

**My After Story SNAFU**

 **Chapter 8**

The bright morning sun sparkled through the stained glass, sending a myriad of garish colours over the pristine white stone walls of the church. To add to the colour scheme, bright bouquets decorated well, pretty much anything you could attach flowers too, making me glad I didn't suffer from allergies. The hubbub of anticipation was growing as the families of Yukinoshita Haruno and her soon to be husband appraised each other, trying to decide how far beneath them the other was.

Behind them, the various friends from different periods of the wedded couple also peered at each other, trying to figure who the other was and their importance. As most of the friends were from various corporate backgrounds, this kind of behaviour was probably normal to them and wouldn't have been any different in the boardroom.

I, on the other hand, was seated near the back, on an out of the way pew, which was perfectly fine with me. The seating was hard and my rarely worn suit itched, making me long for the familiar comfort of my old 'I love Chiba' T-shirt. But I wasn't going to show up Yukino, by looking anything short of perfect. She had enough to worry about today, without my wardrobe being on her mind.

I looked down at my daughter Homura, who sat next to me, surveying the assembled scene with interest. She whined as I fussed with her flowered headband, making a futile attempt to raise her cuteness to even higher levels. Which along with her delicately embroidered dress, made her look so adorable, that I had to grudgingly thank Iroha for picking it out. I had planned to get it myself, so I was surprised when my now ex-wife brought Homura over with a brand-new outfit. Her reasoning being that, while I was free to make a fool of myself, there was no way our daughter would be making a scene.

Despite my efforts, I was still getting a few odd looks, mainly from other employees of the Yukinoshita's who were probably wondering what a lowly cleaner was doing at such an event. Though the Yukinoshita family themselves, seemed far more concerned with the woman sitting next to me, even if she didn't seem fussed in the slightest.

"I just can't get over how cute your daughter is, Hikigaya," said Hiratsuka with a cheery smile. She leant over me and gave Homura's cheek a tweak, making my daughter whine again. While I tried not to pay too much attention to the way Hiratsuka's dress exposed her slender neck and ample bosom as she leant over me. Hiratsuka straightened up and adjusted her dress as she looked about. "Though I'm surprised to not see Yuigahama here," she added with a touch of concern.

"She wasn't invited," I said stiffly. "Apparently, there wasn't enough room for her on the guest list." Looking about, I saw that while the place was close to full, there was still easily enough room for a single Yui.

Hiratsuka chuckled as she said, "The pregnancy and wedding planning must have really got to Haruno, normally she'd never lack that much subtlety when dealing with her sister." As I nodded in agreement, Hiratsuka asked gently, "how did she take it?"

"She was fine," I said with a shrug. "You know how Yui is, even if she was unhappy about it, she wouldn't want to make Yukino feel worse."

Hiratsuka smiled fondly as she said, "I was meaning Yukino. Though I certainly wouldn't expect any less of Yuigahama, even if it would have been nice to have her here."

"Yukino wasn't happy about it obviously, but what could she do?" I said looking towards the doors into the church. For a moment, I saw Yukino's face peer around the door, checking if everything was in order, her eyes locking onto me a moment. I gave her a smile and Homura waved, breaking Yukino's anxiety for a second as she smiled back, before vanishing back behind the door.

"I'm glad you're here for her," said Hiratsuka in my ear. "This is going to be a tough day for Yukino." Hiratsuka dropped her voice to a whisper and added, "though watch how you conduct yourself around her, the Yukinoshita family are on the judgemental side."

I nodded as I looked at the assembled family, many of them glowering at the groom's side with almost the same face Yukino gave me when we first met. With Hayama giving me the same warning a few weeks ago, I knew to take my old teacher seriously. Not that would have done anything to intentionally embarrass Yukino, but Haruno could have other ideas.

I could see Hayama sitting with Yumiko and his family, a few rows away. He looked at me and nodded, before quieting his son, who babbled happily on his knee. There were a few other vaguely familiar faces dotted about and a woman with braids waved at us, but I no idea who she was, with only Hiratsuka waving back.

"It's getting scary, just how many of my former students are married and having kids now," said Hiratsuka with a nervous laugh. "I swear you lot are conspiring to make me feel decrepit."

"Then why did you come?" I asked. "I didn't think you'd want to wish Haruno well that much."

"Me, oh I'm just here for the free booze," said Hiratsuka with a false sounding laugh, that drew glares from the other guests.

The glares were joined by the sound of 'shh', as everyone started looking towards the slowly opening doors. The music started up and the groom took a deep breath, nervously checking his cufflinks. This guy ate high-end corporate meetings for every meal, but right now he was sweating as he waited for his bride.

I hated to, but I couldn't help sympathise with the guy. I'd been even more nervous as I waited for Iroha to walk down the aisle, petrified that she'd come to her senses and run from the small wedding chapel. She no doubt wished she had these days, but Iroha had looked amazing as she slowly walked towards me, her blushing face contrasting with the bright white of her dress.

I shook away the pain of nostalgia, as I joined the rest of the guests in watching Haruno walk down the aisle. Gasps greeted her, as she moved in a dress that spoke of the sleek simplicity and style that only the very rich could afford. The fact that she could look this graceful while still being now heavily pregnant, was a credit to the kind of woman Haruno was and the skill of the seamstresses.

Haruno was one of the lucky women, who carried her baby quite far back, resulting in a smaller bump, that Iroha would have been so envious of. When she was pregnant with Homura, Iroha had waddled around like she'd swallowed a Godzilla egg and could barely move by the time the birth finally came.

Arm in arm with Haruno was her father, whose step was faltering now as tears of pride filled his eyes. I looked down at my own daughter, who was utterly entranced by the scene and smiled. From Homura's expression of wonder, I knew that she would be wanting a wedding as extravagant as this one day. Though it would have to be someone really special, before I'd consent to give my little girl away. Nothing short of a prince, national hero or deity, would be good enough for her. So I certainly wasn't worried about her marrying some hopeless deadbeat, like a light novel author.

I looked to Hiratsuka, expecting to see her scowling or purposefully ignoring this magical moment. But she was crying too, her eyes blinking rapidly as she dabbed at them with a tissue. Hiratsuka blushed when she realised I was looking at her and mouthed, "Don't look." Pushing my jaw around to look at Yukino as she followed her sister, surrounded by her younger cousins.

"Auntie Yuki looks so pretty," whispered Homura with eyes sparkling with awe and well she wasn't lying. Admittedly I'm biased, but I felt Yukino outdid her elder sister in that moment. The elegant bridesmaid's dress, falling gracefully down her slender figure and her long black hair tied into a loose braid by red ribbons. The only thing that ruined Yukino's look, was her painfully empty expression that completely contrasted the proud blush on Haruno's features ahead of her.

In a strange way, the identically dressed younger cousins gave the impression of looking at Yukino at various stages of her life. Though the cousins looked a lot happier about their lot as Yukino walked stiffly down the aisle, her eyes only briefly flicking in my direction. I could see a few guys whispering to each other with sly glances and I gritted my teeth, hoping the circus would be over soon.

Haruno met her groom, both filled with smiles and blushes. Vows and rings were exchanged, to be greeted by the cheers of the now joined families. But there was something off about the sound and I wondered how honest those cheers were, did they honestly want this couple together or were they just going with the flow.

I looked at the happy couple, two people who had made careers by putting on faces to please those they wanted to use. I hoped for their sake, that their relationship was built the on being able to take those masks off with someone. If either of them was still wearing one now, then I feared for this marriage's future, even though it had only just started.

"Don't think thoughts like that Hikigaya or you'll end up like me," whispered Hiratsuka. I looked at her and she added with a smile, "It was written all over your face."

I watched Haruno and her new husband smiling together, as the two fathers in law shared a joke. Even Mrs Yukinoshita managed a smile as she looked at her eldest daughter, listening to another relative's chatter.

"I just can't help but wonder about their future, what with the kind of woman Haruno is," I said with concern.

"They'll be fine," chuckled Hiratsuka. "The only person you need to be worrying about is the only one up there that isn't really smiling."

"I guess I'm worrying about Haruno because I know it'll filter down onto Yukino in some way," I said. Looking at my friend standing awkwardly amongst her family, her discomfort making me uncomfortable.

Fortunately for Yukino, it didn't take long for the party to start heading out. Haruno and her groom leading the way, beneath a flurry of confetti. Yukino looking like she trying to hold back, but was pinned by the crowd and forced forward.

I would have been glad to let everyone go first, but Homura had other ideas. She raced off pushing through the crowd, desperate to find out what was happening next. I tried my best to keep up with her, slipping through the crowd, apologising as I went. I glanced back at Hiratsuka, who was laughing as she gave a wave and was then lost from view.

I caught up with my daughter, who had, in turn, caught up with Yukino, as everyone went outside into the church's ornate garden. Homura was talking excitedly with Yukino and this time her smile seemed a little more real, as my daughter pointed at the various flowers.

"How many times have I told you not to run off," I said to Homura through gritted teeth.

"It is quite alright Hikigaya," said Yukino formally. "I'm glad to see that she's enjoying herself."

"How are you holding up?" I asked.

"I'm fine, thank you," she replied simply, her smile flickering back into artificiality. "Now if you'll excuse me, I believe my sister requires my presence."

Before I could reply Yukino, strode off into the crowd with surprising speed. Making for Haruno who was ordering people around for the photos. There seemed to some disagreement between Haruno and her mother over how everyone should be arranged, Mrs Yukinoshita's wheelchair causing problems with the compositions. Yukino meanwhile seemed to be trying her best to keep in shadows, being the sister of the bride meant that such a feat was impossible.

I hung back in shadows of my own, keeping a grip on Homura's shoulder to stop her running into the shot. But she was twisting in my grip, trying to get a better view and was fascinated by the photographer. Eventually asking "Daddy, can I take pictures too?"

"No," I said, "I don't want you causing problems for the official photographer."

"But I won't, I promise," Homura pleaded. Batting her eyelashes and looking up at me with big puppy dog eyes.

I wasn't sure when Iroha had taught her that skill, but it really was super effective. My hand was in my jacket pocket before I even realised and I reluctantly gave her my phone. Adding, "Fine, just stay out of everyone's way, if you cause trouble I'll take it straight back."

"Thank you," Homura chanted with a beaming smile, that could melt the ice caps. Taking the phone, she ran off, rapidly taking pictures of pretty much anything. The guests, the flowers, a passing butterfly, nothing was safe from her lens. Thankfully she stayed out of the way, but her antics were distracting many of the elderly women in the crowd, who awed and giggled as Homura mimicked the photographer.

"You're such a soft touch, Hikigaya," said Hiratsuka. Smiling as she watched my daughter, who was bossing some other children into formation with waves of her hand.

"To be honest, I was more worried about her being bored today," I said. "Believe me, Homura's a lot more trouble when she has nothing to do."

"Well she certainly knows how to make things exciting, a trait she definitely acquired from her mother," said Hiratsuka. "My only concern now is with your phone, she's going to drop it if she isn't careful."

My heart leapt a little, as Homura's small hands struggled with the phone, but soon she was snapping away again. It never ceased to amaze me how even at her young age, she could use the phone's various apps far better than I could. I'd had to tell her off the previous week for phoning Totsuka, waking him up on the other side of the world with a shy, "hello."

"She'll be fine," I said casually. "Homura's growing up so fast, sometimes I worry that I'll turn around and she'll suddenly be a teenager."

Hiratsuka winced and her shoulders sagged. "Don't say such things so lightly please," she said as she pulled out a compact and checked her reflection. "I swear, you've given me more wrinkles than all my other students combined."

"They make you look dignified," I said with a smile.

Her reaction time must have slackened in her old age as I just managed to dodge the clout. But mine had slowed too as Hiratsuka caught me with the return swing saying, "You're meant to say you can't see them."

"See what?" I retorted.

"Much better," Hiratsuka said with a pleased smile as she aggressively snapped the compact shut.

"Shizuka!" Came a cry from the other side of the garden and we both turned to see Haruno waving. "Shizuka, I need you for some photos."

Hiratsuka seemed to flinch at the mention of her first name, but took a deep breath and smiled. "My time to shine," she said. Then Hiratsuka flicked her hair and adjusted her dress with a little too much bounce, before striding off.

"Hikigaya," came Haruno cry again. "You and your little sweetie too."

With a sigh, I grabbed my daughter and we made our way over to where the photographer was set up. Homura wasn't impressed at me interrupting her photography session but cheered up when she realised it was her turn to have her picture taken.

Haruno was starting to look fatigued, cracking her back against the weight of her bump and the uncomfortable dress. Her mother scolded her unladylike behaviour, but Haruno waved the complaint away. Walking over to Hiratsuka and some of her old high school friends, the fatigue magically vanished from Haruno's face and she smiled for the photo.

Yukino was lingering in the shade of a rose covered trellis looking at her phone, her smile as a message beeped in was tinged with forlornness. I started to move over to her, but before I could get there, we both summoned in front of the camera. I saw Yukino close her eyes and clench her thin hands together for a moment, before silently walking over.

Yukino and I awkwardly stood next to each other, with Hiratsuka behind us and Homura in front. Hiratsuka leant to my ear and whispered, "will you smile properly for once in your life Hikigaya, I'm fed up of looking at your miserable face in my old pictures."

I turned and gave Hiratsuka a particularly idiotic grin, that earned me a painful squeeze to the shoulder. But it was worth it to hear a short chuckle from Yukino, which made Hiratsuka add, "the same goes for you Yukino." I shook myself and tried to remember the muscles needed for my photograph smile. Prior to my own wedding, Iroha had spent quite some time getting me to practice a nice smile, even though I thought it made me look constipated.

My cheeks were starting to hurt as I heard a click of the camera and was relieved to let my mouth relax. But it was short lived as Haruno immeadietly said "Just one more, only this time Shizuka do you mind stepping out for a moment. " Hiratsuka made a disappointed noise, but quickly moved away. Then Haruno crouched a little and said, "Homura darling, do want to take a picture of Daddy?"

Homura immediately scampered over to her and spun around, taking pictures whether we were ready or not. I could feel the tension rippling off Yukino as she looked ready to bolt and I whispered to her, "let's just get this over with."

Yukino sighed and whispered almost to herself, "I wish Yui was here."

I had to admit things would have been a lot less awkward with Yui between us, with a big grin on her face. But the void between us wasn't the worst part, the worst part was all the extended family members looking at us and whispering. A lot of the eyes were on me and felt like some prize cow, being led out to judged worthy by the greater Yukinoshita family. I was tempted to intentionally make a complete fool of myself, just to screw with Haruno's scheme, but I couldn't do that to Yukino. For her, this was utterly humiliating as it was, standing there waiting an agonisingly long time for the photographer to take the shot.

Eventually, I heard the click and I sighed as heard Haruno say, "Jeez, they look like that miserable farming couple in that old American painting."

Before I could give support to Yukino, she had already walked off without a word. I saw her slip through the crowd, leaving me to awkwardly wander back to Homura and Hiratsuka.

"Yukino's taking today even worse than I feared," said Hiratsuka with concern. "You're going to have to keep a close eye on her."

"If she'll let me, since I sure now that Yukino is avoiding me," I said, trying to spot where Yukino had escaped to. "You might have better luck talking to her."

"I doubt it," said Hiratsuka. "Yukino has always seen me as a friend of her sister's, so she's never had much trust in me."

Haruno seemed to have decided that she'd had enough of photography now and headed towards an awaiting car, despite they're clearly being more pictures to take. The hall for the reception was only a few streets away and I carried Homura on my shoulders, while Hiratsuka tagged along. I listened to my old teacher complain about her heels, while I scanned the crowd for Yukino, but there was no sign. I guessed that she would have had to travel with her parents, which I had no doubt she was absolutely loving.

We arrived at the long traditional looking hall, which had been extravagantly decorated for the wedding party's arrival. Homura was amazed, but I thought it was a bit gaudy, to be honest. Our places were thankfully quite a long way from the high table, with Hiratsuka and a few of Haruno's friends from high school.

They chattered amongst themselves, while I made sure that Homura was sitting properly and was behaving herself. I could see Yukino sitting next to her father, he was chatting to her genially as she nodded glumly and gave short answers. I watched him sigh forlornly at her bluntness and her mother snapped something that made Yukino bow her head.

But Yukino's parents were soon distracted, as the newly married couple arrived to rapturous applause, Haruno looking a lot fresher as she walked arm in arm with her husband, smiling and waving like politicians. Then they took their places and the speeches started, which seemed to go on forever. I gave polite applause as first the groom, then Haruno, then the best man and the various parents took their turns. But throughout it all, I could only think about the fear of Yukino being made to do a speech. The very thought brought back stomach-churning memories of making my own speech after marrying Iroha. Which had been without a doubt, one of the most nerve-wracking and cringe-worthy moments in my entire life.

My stomach was also growling from hunger by now as we listened to the groom's father ramble on and on. Homura was clearly bored out of mind, making her origami swan napkin dance quietly with mine. Hiratsuka was gently stroking her toasting cup with her finger, eager for next chance to down some more sake. While I had only drunk enough to be polite and had no intention of having any more, this was not a place for me to relax and I certainly didn't want to make a fool out of myself in front my daughter.

Eventually, the pomposity was done with and the food was finally brought out, to the slightly audible relief of many guests. But I was even less impressed with the offerings, which while no doubt expensive and probably prepared by some top chef trained at Tootsuki Academy. Did little to satisfy my hunger with its sophisticatedly meagre portions, that only a culinary connoisseur could enjoy.

Hiratsuka was munching on hers with an expression that spoke of pretending to enjoy it, no doubt in a dubious attempt at sophistication. So, I leant over and whispered, "you don't fancy popping out for some ramen?"

She chuckled, but her stomach made an audible growl, making her blush with embarrassment. "Don't tempt me Hikigaya," Hiratsuka muttered back. "My delicate sensibilities are not up to the task of this class of dining."

I snorted and then sighed, as I watched my daughter poking her meal like it was a strange insect. I tried my best to separate out the parts Homura would like, from the stuff she didn't and it would have been cruel to make her eat it all when I could barely stomach it myself. Though the rest of the guests seemed to be happily eating away, saying how fabulous it all was, increasing the feeling of being in a different world. Yukino was eating slowly, but politely like she wasn't particularly hungry. I wished she was down here with us if only so she could tell me what this dish actually was and especially how to pronounce the complicated French name.

The food soon vanished and soon people started to wander about in the elaborate social practise known as mingling. Haruno's old school friends quickly made their leave to go and talk to other guests, leaving me with Hiratsuka who was more interested in the bottles at the centre of the table. Homura was getting restless, to the point where she eventually asked to go play with some of the other children, who were already running about the hall. I agreed somewhat reluctantly but hoped at least someone here would be having fun.

I looked at the gathering and wondered how many were really enjoying themselves or at the very least were here to celebrate this union. The crowd was a mixture of relatives exchanging gossip, various circles of friends eyeing each critically and business associates trying to look important. Since a lot of the guests were from various clients and contractors of Yukinoshita Construction, the wedding started to take on the air of boardroom. With the strange babble of business talk filling the room with cries of 'synergy' and 'blue sky thinking,' I pondered how many deals would be brokered here. Was anyone truly here for the married couple or was everyone here for other reasons, like Hiratsuka and her determination to drink the place dry.

While I had always suspected that my parents had just been relieved that I'd married someone, when I tied the knot with Iroha. They had at least enjoyed themselves at the wedding, chatting with Iroha's family or dancing in the way only drunken parents can. Even my dear sister, who had her reservations about Iroha, had put it aside to help organise what had admittedly only been a small wedding, but I thought a decent one. It was certainly warmer than this reception, which for the moment was living up to the Yukinoshita family name.

As I pondered these depressing thoughts, I slowly moved the bottle of sake away from Hiratsuka. Giving her a look as I filled her glass with the sparkling grape juice that had been put out for the children. She gave me a sour look and downed it in one gulp, before reaching for the sake again.

I pulled the bottle further away and said firmly, "you need to pace yourself or..."

"Yes Shizuka, would you kindly not sit there drinking till you're under the table," Said a charming voice. "It would nice for my former teacher to handle herself like one."

"I am merely having a little drink to get myself warmed up," said Hiratsuka with a slight slur.

Haruno leant against the back of the chair with a sigh. "Needing a little Dutch courage before you try and seduce some poor relative of mine?" said Haruno. Before adding in a dramatic whisper, "I suppose you need all the help you can get these days."

"I don't need help or courage," said Hiratsuka stiffly. "I can get a man without them, can't I Hikigaya?" Before I could reply, Hiratsuka grabbed my arm and yanked my head down onto her bosom. I struggled against her iron grip and my own innate nature to free myself, but to no avail.

Haruno narrowed her eyes at Hiratsuka and said coldly, "I think not Shizuka. You're welcome to prostrate yourself before my other guests, but Hikigaya has other business here. I'm sure once they've drunken their way through the bar tab, you'll be able to find someone who'll take you."

Hiratsuka shoved me away, nearly sending me flying off my chair. Rolling her eyes as she said, "Don't worry Haruno, I won't spoil your little scheme."

Clicking her tongue in irritation, Haruno said, "Don't make me out to sound like controlling harpy. I just thought it would cheer my miserable little sister up to have Hikigaya here, if she'd actually go near him."

"Leave Yukino be," I snapped, trying to regain my composure. "If she wants to spend time with me she can, if not she doesn't have to."

"Oh please," snapped Haruno. "If only it was that simple."

"How complicated can leaving your sister alone be?" I snapped back.

Haruno looked like she was about to launch into a tirade, but was suddenly distracted by someone yelling across the room for her. "Just deal with my sister Hikigaya," she said dismissively. "I don't care how, just do it."

Then the bride was storming up the room, to where tables were being cleared and pulled aside. I saw Haruno almost trip over my daughter as she ran passed and I was relieved to see Homura apologise as they stopped to share a joke. Then they both vanished as the guests started to arrange themselves in preparation for the wedding dances, surrounding an open patch of lacquered floor.

"I suppose we should go up and watch," I said to Hiratsuka reluctantly.

"What, just watch, are you not going to dance with me?" said Hiratsuka bitterly, in mock offence.

"I think neither of us wants to anger Haruno that much," I said watching the dance floor as the lights started to dim. There was also Yukino's reaction to consider, even though she was avoiding me I doubted me cavorting with our old teacher would go down well.

"Indeed," said Hiratsuka with a slight growl. She struggled to her feet and I ended up yanking her upright and we walked up to watch the happy couple dance.

The multi-coloured disco lights flickered across the polished floor and the fixed smiles of the guests. Of course, Haruno and her groom moved with perfect precision and skill, with no doubt many hours of dancing lessons going into this moment. I remembered Iroha and I practising a little at home before our wedding, trying to at least get the basics right. Even though I wasn't a complete klutz with my feet, I think my ex-wife had given up out of despair, rather than satisfaction.

The music was gentle as the groom split to dance with his mother and Haruno went to dance with her father. The huge elderly man looked rather ridiculous as he struggled to keep up with his daughter's smooth strides, but he was clearly loving every minute of it. You could see various relatives smiling happily, though Yukino and her mother both looked tinged with sadness. Mrs Yukinoshita's stroke left her confined to a wheelchair and the fact she couldn't join her husband on the dance floor and was clear on her face.

Hiratsuka and I stood at the fringes of the crowd, just watching the spectacle as various couples joined in. It was then I felt a tugging on my jacket and looked down to see Homura's pleading eyes tunnelling into my soul. Over the music, I could just hear her asking excitedly, "Daddy, Daddy, can we dance?"

I looked at her despairingly and said, "No sweetie, Daddy isn't much of a dancer."

"But Daddy," Homura whined.

"Oh, go on Hikigaya," said Hiratsuka, laughing as she gave me nudge in the back.

"You can dance with her if you want!" I said back with a hint of desperation.

Hiratsuka grinned evilly and shook her head, before saying, "no way. I want to stay back here and watch."

I looked down at my daughter as her eyes went wide, the lights reflecting off the water in her eyes and sighed in defeat. "Fine," I said, "just for a little while." Homura cheered and yanked my arm, pulling me into the throng. I looked back forlornly as Hiratsuka gave me an amused wave and I was out on the dance floor.

Dancing with Homura was a simple affair since it basically involved holding on to her hand while she pirouetted and stomped to a beat of her own. I merely had to make sure that we didn't crash into anyone or get in the way too much, as I swung Homura to the side to avoid Yukino and her father dancing past. I knew that one day, there would come a dance with my daughter which I would have to do properly, but for that, I would make sure I took dancing lessons till my feet were raw and I was perfect.

"May I take this dance?" said a voice and Homura was suddenly pulled away from me by Haruno. My daughter didn't seem to mind as she was already lost in the music and motion, but I was stuck like a lemon in the middle of the dance floor. I caught sight of Haruno passing Homura on to her father and taking her sister for a spin. Making a growing dread fill my stomach as I braced myself for what I knew was coming. With perfect precision and a devilish smile, Haruno spun her sister towards me, leaving Yukino dizzy and breathless in front of me.

We stood awkwardly in the centre of the dance floor, people bumping into both of us as we faced each other. Yukino was struggling to stay on her feet as she tried to dodge the dancers blurring around us. I sighed and with a grim determination, stepped forwards and took Yukino in my arms.

"Hikigaya," she cried in protest. The hint of a sob in her voice as she whispered, "please, please don't, it's what she wants."

Yukino struggled a little and I snapped back through gritted teeth, "do you think, I don't know that."

I glared at Haruno as she smiled smugly at me, this time dancing with her new father in law. Then the music changed to a slower number and the pace relaxed to suit the new mood. At the same time the fight seemed to go out of Yukino, her body relaxed as she leant against my shoulder and we slowly danced around the floor.

I could feel the goldfish bowl around us, as various relatives watched and whispered. Yukino shifted her head and I heard her mutter, "I hate it when she does this."

"Is my dancing really that bad?" I said wryly, trying to lighten the mood if only a little.

Yukino looked up at me with a slight smile contrasting the sadness in her eyes and said, "well yes, but that wasn't what I was referring to."

"Look," I said with a sigh. "Let's just give your sister this and hopefully she'll be satisfied and leave us alone."

"I doubt it," Yukino said in a voice so quiet I could barely hear it over the music. She was silent for a while until she added, "I just wish I didn't feel so guilty."

"Guilty?" I asked.

"It's difficult to describe," Yukino said. "I just can't stop feeling like I'm betraying Yui when I'm alone with you, especially like this."

"I'm sure Yui would tell you just to enjoy yourself," I said kindly. Though I knew what Yukino meant.

"She has," said Yukino with a short empty laugh. "I tried to explain it to her, but Yui just smiled and says it's fine. That's why I wish Yui was here, then at least she'd get to do things like this as well and I wouldn't feel so bad."

It didn't feel great to be between these two friends, in fact, I felt wretched. Yeah, sure it was nice to be holding such a beautiful woman in my arms and I'm sure many guys would be envious of my position. But right at this moment, it felt so uncomfortable dancing with someone who would rather be anywhere but here, especially with the gaze of nearly the entire Yukinoshita family upon us. But the main voice in my mind, was that of Yui on the phone this morning, trying to allay my own worries about today.

"Yukino," I said softly. "Yui made me promise that I'd make sure you enjoyed yourself today and honestly, I'm doing a terrible job of it. If it makes it any better, I'm sure there will be other weddings, other events, where I'll dance with Yui till you feel even."

"The thing I hate most is that part of me is enjoying this, has wanted this. But with everything going on, I feel that I can't," Yukino said with a sigh. Then she stumbled and I strained as she started growing heavy in my arms. Her poor stamina was combining with the weight on her slim shoulders, to drag her to the floor. Yukino slumped in my arms as she faintly said, "Yui's going to be so mad at me."

"Yeah," I said with a grunt. "well she's going to be even madder at me."

Her dead weight in my arms, I tried to steer us off the dance floor. But the other guests were making it hard to cut through to safety and I could feel Yukino feet dragging as I fought to keep her upright in the politest way possible.

Then either intentionally or just out of pure luck, Hiratsuka suddenly swooped past. The drunken teacher was leading some poor soul in a looping waltz, sending guests scattering out of the way. Her partner had no doubt thought himself lucky to dance with her, but now he clung on for dear life as Hiratsuka cackled manically.

I charged through the remaining guests and hefted Yukino onto a nearby chair. I searched through the nearby bottles for something non-alcoholic and had to bark an order at a waiter to bring us some water. The terrified young man scuttled off but took far too long in my view to bring the small bottle of mineral water from behind the bar.

I was expecting people to crowd around her, but instead, everyone just gave us a wide berth, looking at me nervously. As Yukino sipped at the water a small amount of colour came back to her pale face. "I'm okay Hikigaya," said Yukino with a smile. "There's no need for you to frighten me with that look on your face."

"Sorry, I've never made a girl swoon before," I said with a smile.

Yukino choked on her water. "Believe me Hikigaya, you'll never make a girl swoon, I was just feeling a little unsteady that's all." She meant it to sound like one of her usual put downs, but Yukino's voice was faint and shook slightly with each syllable. She delicately drank the rest of the bottle and looked towards the doors asking, "do you mind if we go outside, I need to get out of this, this atmosphere."

"Sure," I said with a shrug and offered my hand. Yukino looked at it indecisively but instead tried to stand herself. Before realising she was as weak as a kitten and collapsed back onto the chair with a groan of frustration. I narrowed my eyes and offered my hand again, sighing as I said, "just take it." My patience for all this was starting to dwindle and I was worrying where my daughter had got to. Yukino reluctantly took my hand and hauled her upright, taking her arm in mine we slowly walked towards the door, though I felt more like a butler than a partner.

"I can feel her smirking from here," muttered Yukino, her eyes flicking towards her family. I looked towards them and was far more startled to Yukino's father bearing down on me. Though I was semi-relieved to see Homura in his arms, holding on tight as he rushed forwards.

"Yuki, are you okay?" He said breathlessly, his old face etched with worry.

Yukino stopped and I heard an intake of breath as she readied a reassuring smile. "I'm fine, thank you, Father," she said kindly. "I just need to step out for some air."

The forced nature of Yukino's smile clearly didn't convince her father as he said with an unsure quaver, "are you sure. You know Hayato's mother is a doctor, she can have a quick check if you want."

Yukino's father trailed off as he realised his fretting was pointless. When Yukino reassured him with, "I'm quite alright father, Hikigaya here will keep an eye on me."

He gave me an unsure look, while I felt Yukino tugging lightly on my arm. But I was still concerned about Homura and needed to know she was safe while I looked after Yukino, which I wouldn't be able to do with my daughter demanding my attention.

As much as I knew Homura was fine in Mr Yukinoshita's arms, I still would have felt better to keep my daughter safe with me. I looked at the great man, his eyes jumping between Yukino and me, as his brow furrowed with concern. Which made me realise in a strange little moment of kinship, that both of us were feeling the same thing. What Mr Yukinoshita and myself wanted, above all things, was to keep our little girls safe.

I took a deep breath and said awkwardly, "sir, would it be okay if you looked after Homura a little longer. Just while I make sure Yukino is okay?"

Yukino's father blinked in surprise, then looked at Homura as if he hadn't realised he was holding her. "Oh, of course, erm, Hikigaya," he said clumsily. Before adding with a chuckle, "my sisters are quite entranced with your daughter and seem to have an endless supply of sweets in those huge handbags of theirs."

I forced a good-natured laugh and said, "thank you, sir. Though can you make sure she doesn't have too many and make herself sick." Then looking at my daughter I added sternly, "Did you hear that Homura, not too many or at the very least save some for tomorrow."

Homura gave a sulky nod and said, "Yes Daddy."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she doesn't," said Mr Yukinoshita with a smile. "I remember one time when they were little, Haru took some sweets without asking, then tried to hide the evidence by making Yuki eat them all. The poor little mite was sick for days weren't you…"

But the rest of his reminisce was lost to me as Yukino yanked hard on my arm, pulling me with all her might towards the door. "Don't get sucked into his nostalgia trips," she said angrily, her faced flushed red. "Otherwise we'll be stuck here for days while he prattles on endlessly with rose tinted versions of my childhood."

I looked back at the startled expression on the face of Yukino's father and managed a wave to Homura before the outside world greeted me with a blast of cold air. Yukino seemed intent on getting as far away as possible, but I dug my heels in and we stopped instantly. I didn't want to go out of sight of the windows, where I would be able to see my daughter as she sat at a table with Mr Yukinoshita. He was talking to my daughter, but his eyes kept glancing at us as the rest of the family slowly gathered around him to see what was going on.

I sat on a wall and looked at Yukino as she tried to slink into the shadows, but her pale skin almost glowed in the evening light, making her look more ethereal than ever. She took a few deep breaths and tried to relax, seeking some unattainable spiritual centre.

"Do you feel any better?" I asked.

"Not really," Yukino said with a sigh, looking at her family. Who were all smiling as Homura rambled on about something or another. Yukino's expression was a strange mixture of anger, fatigue and I thought maybe a hint of envy.

"Do you want to go back in?" I suggested with a wave.

"No," Yukino said with a shake of her head. "Do you mind if we go around the corner?"

"Sorry, but I need to be able to keep an eye on Homura," I said flatly.

"Don't worry Hikigaya, she'll be fine with my father for a few minutes," said Yukino with a sigh. But I wasn't budging, so she gave in and sat next to me, shifting slightly so I blocked any view of her from the window.

We sat there in an awkward silence for a while, not knowing quite how to start a conversation. It was at times like this when we really did need Yui around to make sure things weren't quiet forever. Yukino would occasionally start to lean against me, then realise what she was doing and sit bolt upright. She was trying to suppress it, but I could feel her shivering slightly as she gently rubbed her upper arms.

"Look, do you want my jacket?" I snapped in exasperation.

"N-no I'm fine Hik-ki-gaya," Yukino said through chattering teeth.

I rolled my eyes and slung my suit jacket over her thin shoulders, hissing through my teeth as the cold night air rushed into my shirt. Though it had been a bright, clear day for the wedding, but now that sun had gone down the sea breeze was bitterly cold. I was expecting her to fling it back in my face, but Yukino merely sagged and pulled the jacket around her with a defeated sigh.

"Your pride isn't worth catching a cold," I said bluntly. "Let alone what your Dad will do to me if you so much as a sniff."

"This isn't about pride," Yukino said quietly.

"Really," I said. "Then what is it about Yukino, I thought you'd be happy to see your sister married?"

"Happy?" Said Yukino with a puzzled expression.

"Well she has a husband now and that child won't be far behind," I said. "Haruno is soon going to be far too busy to bother you anymore, surely you must be happy about that at least. She's moving on to a new stage in her life and then well, so can you."

Yukino only stared blankly into space, pulling my jacket tighter and looking for all the world like a lost child at a festival. Cautiously I leant towards her and said quietly, "does that scare you or something?"

Her eyes snapped into focus and Yukino glared at me with fury. "Don't be ridiculous," she snapped. "Of course, I'm not afraid."

It took me a moment to recover from such a close-range burst of anger, but I soon have an exasperated reply of, "then what the hell is it then?"

Yukino looked at me disdainfully, like the answer was so obvious, it wasn't even worth uttering. Though I doubt she meant for it, that look caused a great wave of nostalgia to crash over me, it's warmth almost driving out the cold night air. Trying hard not to smile at the memory I said, "look I get that you have issues with your family, but is there even a possibility of putting that behind you?"

Yukino looked away from me staring at her fingers in silence, a silence that felt was holding back a torrent of pent up emotion. So I took a lighter track and said, "I've fought with my sister so my times over the years, it's just part of being siblings. But Komachi being a good little sister that she is, has always forgiven my Hachiman like ways. Likewise, I as the benevolent big brother that I am, forgave her, even when she stole my pudding."

A slight smile crept into the corner of her mouth as Yukino said, "Haruno did a bit more than steal my pudding. Though she did on many occasions, along with most things I liked."

"I know," I said kindly. "But still is it that out of the question to move on from all that. When everything went bad between us three, Komachi took it very badly and rightly, laid the blame squarely at my feet. But eventually she got past it and so did I, it wasn't like I could stay mad at my adorable little sister forever."

"As disturbing as your relationship with your sister is, Hikigaya," said Yukino with a sigh. "I've always admired, maybe even envied it."

"Then isn't it worth putting all that aside, so that you can get a bit of that back," I said. "Maybe not even putting it aside, but just focusing on the happy times you had together, rather than all the hurt they caused you." Yukino was silent again and I added, "you know, birthdays and festivals, that sort of thing."

Yukino was still quiet and as I leant around to see her face, I could see tears teetering on her eyes. "Yukino, just tell me the first happy family memory you…"

"There isn't one!" Yukino suddenly exploded. As she grabbed my shirt and pulled me close. Her eyes quivering with the terrifying sight of sorrow and madness. "I can't remember I single one," she stammered. "All I can remember about my childhood is my sister's mockery and mind games, twinned with my mother's constant look of disappointment."

Yukino pushed me back and hugged herself again, her eyes darting around as she began to rock slowly. I didn't want to, but I knew I had to, Yukino needed to let this out and I cautiously asked, "what about your father?"

"My father?" Yukino croaked with an empty laugh. "My father did nothing."

"Surely that's a good thing, isn't it?" I said, even though I knew deep down it wasn't.

"He," started Yukino, squeezing her eyes shut with the pain in her heart. "He just stood by, constantly pretending that we were all one big happy family. Turning a blind eye to my sister's torments and when Mother dismissed every one of my accomplishments." She paused for breath, before glaring at her family in the window. "He stood by and did nothing."

I looked at her father, who was watching my daughter as she waved a lollipop around like a magical girl's wand. He was smiling, but it had melancholy cast, probably remembering Yukino doing something similar long ago. He glanced out at us and I felt Yukino hide behind me, but even from here you could see the regret in his eyes.

It couldn't have been easy being caught between Yukino, Haruno and their mother. I had no doubt he loved all three of them and had probably tried to be an arbiter when Yukino needed him to be decisive. But then what choice he had really had, he would have to hurt one his family regardless and maybe Yukino had lucked out. Maybe there were consequences at the time that would have been incomprehensible, for the little girl all those years ago.

But there wasn't anything I could do for that little girl, I could only do something for the adult who was sitting next to me. A woman who despite her affluent upbringing, had been slowly crushed under years of pain, often hidden behind her wall of ice. I had been allowed to see beyond that wall, but that brought with it a responsibility for what I saw. But this was a can of worms, that I couldn't just open without care. Yukino may be looking to me to help her, but a wrong move would end up hurting her far worse than anything in our school days.

I watched my friend as she sat there, with the wind tugging at her long black hair. Lost in her own thoughts, like a beautiful heartbroken maiden from some tragic folk tale and I wondered what she truly wanted?

Was it freedom, reconciliation or simply vengeance. Which would help her the most and would finally bring her the peace she craved. I looked at her blue eyes as she watched her fingers and wondered if she even knew.

"Yukino," I said softly. "I look at your father and I see a man who loves you, who'll do anything for you. Doesn't he..."

"Oh yes," Cut in Yukino. "He'll do anything, protect me from unwanted suitors, buy me a thousand useless trinkets, shower me in money. But when it comes to anything that really matters, when it comes to protecting me from my sister and mother, he is useless."

"I get that," I said with a degree of exasperation. "But does that mean there's no chance of burying the hatchet, no chance making peace with your family?"

Yukino's face was hidden in shadow, but slowly she started to laugh. But there was no warmth in that sound, in fact, it carried more pain than a heartrending sob. She turned and looked at me with red-rimmed maddened eyes and said: "how long?"

"How long?" I repeated stupidly, my voice shaking a little.

"How long, have you been, in my sister's pocket?" Said Yukino haltingly, looking at me with eyes the blazing with cold fury.

"What are you talking about," I said in disbelief. "I've never been anything like that."

"Really, then why are you here? She demanded. "Why is someone like you at my sister's wedding, you like this thing even less than I do."

My brain was stumbling with fear, as I tried to articulate my reason. Yukino's face twitching slightly as she flipped between anger and despair, making me stutter as I said, "to make sure you were okay."

"Really, because it sounds more like my sister is using you," Yukino snapped. "Thinking that you can convince me to pretend like none of the past happened. To use my feelings for you against me, to persuade me to go and play at happy families. What did my sweet sister promise you, Hikigaya? Was it money, maybe a promotion or maybe even sex!"

"What?" I said in confusion at the sudden and incomprehensible accusations. "No, no and absolutely not."

"Then was it a threat," said Yukino, her voice still quaking with fury. "Did say she could have Homura taken away from you, give Iroha sole custody. Haruno is certainly not above doing such things if it'll get her what she wants."

A shudder went up my spine at the thought, but I managed to control the sense panic as glanced at my daughter inside. My muscles tensing ready to rush in and grab her if Haruno as much as even considered that. I paused to try and steady myself, Yukino still watching my every movement, scanning for any hint of treachery.

I went to touch Yukino's hand reassuringly, but she pulled it away, glaring at me reproachfully. I took a deep breath and looked her straight in the eyes as I repeated flatly, "I came to make sure you were okay."

Glaring at me, clearly unconvinced, Yukino seemed to scan me for the truth. "How can you be sure, Hikigaya?" She said, her eyes burrowing into me. "My sister has a knack for convincing people that her plans, were their own idea. Making them do what she wants, without them even realising until it's too late."

Yukino's looked at her fidgeting fingers, rocking in a disconcerting way as she began to mutter, half to herself, "she does it to me all the time. Every time I thought I'd come up with something new, something of my own, something well, genuine." Yukino paused, looking at me with eyes pleading for understanding she said that fateful word. Giving an empty chuckle as she added, "my sister would always be there at the end, with that self-satisfied smile on her lips. After a while, I began to doubt myself, were my thoughts mine or hers? Was I doing things because I wanted to or she did? Were my feelings…?

Yukino tapered off as tears began to fill her eyes and I sat there like a fool, with no idea of how to help her. Of course, I knew Yukino had a troubled history, but I don't think I'd ever really grasped the toll her childhood had taken on her psyche. Then there were the ten years or so we had been apart, seemingly trapped alone against her family and her own inner demons.

Again, I really wished Yui was here, she'd known what to do and it was tempting to call her so that she could handle this. But no, I knew I had to deal with this, even as I grasped and discarded ideas of how to help my dear friend.

Yukino just sat there, simply sat there staring at nothing, lost in the nightmarish labyrinth of her own mind. Slowly, gently, I reached out and turned her face to meet mine, her empty eyes staring straight through me.

"Yukino," I said quietly. "I'm fully aware that Haruno originally invited me out some twisted plan for us, but I swear I had no part in it. If anything, I've tried to act against her where I can, but there are limits to what I can do at a place like this."

She didn't respond at first and I began to worry that Yukino was too far gone to hear me. But she eventually said faintly, "Wouldn't it have been better to just not come at all?"

"I considered that," I said, my eyes never leaving hers. "When I heard that Yui wasn't invited, I had planned to not come too, I suppose in an attempt at solidarity. But Yui was insistent that I did since we both knew how tough today would be on you."

There was a long pause as Yukino processed this until her eyes snapped into focus and she asked in a quavering voice, "you don't think Yui...?"

"No" I cut in sternly, trying to cut off the thought before it took root. "Yui could never handle the guilt of working with Haruno."

"True," Yukino said quietly, "Yui really is far too kind for such a thing. Though that she is easily led and would make an easy target for Haruno to…"

"I don't know," I said with a shrug. "It'd be nearly impossible for me or Yui to know if Haruno is capable of doing what you say she does."

"You think I'm making this up too?" exclaimed Yukino suddenly. Making me jump back at the high pitch of her voice as she looked close to breaking point.

"Of course not," I said in exasperation. "I'm just trying to say, there are limits to what we can do without making things worse for you. I can only ask you to trust us, though I understand if things I did in the past make it hard for you to do that."

She seemed to be crumbling as I watched her and I can feel my heart-wrenching at the sight. She had gone back to looking at her hands again and her fingers tapped out a simple rhythm against each other, as thoughts bounced around her mind. "I'm sorry Hikigaya," she said shaking her head in strange sudden jerks. "I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay," I said tenderly unsure of what to do I for her. So, I instinctively pulled Yukino into a hug like I would have done for Homura when she was upset, even if it was nothing like this. I felt Yukino tense up, no doubt still trying to fight any sign of intimacy between us, but she didn't have the strength to push me away.

"It's not okay Hikigaya," Yukino said angrily, her voice muffled against my shoulder. "You're trying to help me and all I do is accuse you of betrayal." Her voice cracking as she continued, "I hate that they've done this to me. Made me so paranoid, that I automatically assume that everyone is a pet of my family, regardless of how they act towards me."

"I always thought you were only initially hostile towards me at school, because you thought like most people, that I was the scum of the earth," I said. It came out a little lighter than I intended, but I was at a loss at what to say to her. I didn't want to say anything that might send Yukino spiralling any deeper, so I tried to add some good old Hachiman brand self-depreciating humour and hope that she didn't think I was being heartless.

"Well I did," Yukino conceded with thankfully a little smile. "But when you were dragged in like a malcontent stray by Hiratsuka Sensei, I automatically assumed she had been forced to. Presumably as part of some grand scheme of my sister's, even if I couldn't quite wrap my head around what it could be."

I cast my mind back, trying to think of the circumstances that led to my internment in the Service Club and found nothing untoward. With a shrug, I said, "I think Hiratsuka was just dumping me on you, simply because she was fed up with dealing with my sorry hide."

"You see," said Yukino with an exasperated sigh. "Looking back on it now, that is clearly the most logical answer. The cold hard truth of the matter, supported by solid facts and the simple knowledge of the kind of man you are"

"Isn't there an old saying that the simplest answers are the ones closest to the truth?" I said philosophically.

"It's called Occam's Razor, Hikigaya" corrected Yukino. In her more usual superior tone, that I found strangely comforting after everything that had just happened. She sighed forlornly as she continued, "But it seems mine has become so blunt that I can't find the truth in anything anymore, even my own heart. I've always regretted the hard times I gave you and Yui when we first met, something I never felt that I've apologised enough for."

"Don't worry about it," I said dismissively. "The guy I was back then deserved all of your scorn."

"What about the man you are now?" Asked Yukino, raising an eyebrow.

"Probably still deserving it," I said with a playful smile. "Only I enjoy it more now."

Yukino gave me a disgusted look, but there was a smile as she shook her head. With a sigh, she said, "How come every time I let myself hope, that you might have finally become a respectable human being. You go and do or say something so repugnant, that I truly despair."

"I'm more surprised that you even considered that I might become respectable," I said back.

"Well I suppose even I must be allowed a few follies," Yukino said. "Though I know Mother certainly wishes you were, especially with the ideas that my sister has been putting in her head."

I grimaced and said cautiously, "I'm guessing you'll be expected to follow in Haruno's footsteps."

Yukino chuckled a little a little as she looked at my awkward expression. She gave me a look of sympathy and said, "don't worry Hikigaya, I won't force you to do anything you don't want to." She shook her head as I made a series of indecisive noises and continued with, "I've tried to make my sister understand. But the way things are between us and Yui, I think they are just beyond her comprehension."

"Sometimes I think it's beyond mine too," I said resignedly. Yukino's tone was relaxed, but it felt like she was forcing it, probably not capable of dealing with any more heartache right now. I didn't think for a minute that it was over, but Yukino could only deal with this on her own terms and when she had the strength to deal with it.

"Yukino smiled but carried on. "My sister has always been surrounded by friends, the assembled guests here is proof of that. But those friendships have always been on her terms and generally lasted as long as they were useful to her. Sometimes I wonder if my sister has ever had a deep and meaningful friendship with anyone."

"Her husband surely?" I asked, even though I had my doubts.

"Despite everything between me and her, I do hope so," Yukino said. "Mother, of course, was very happy with the match, since he is the heir to one of our main suppliers and it'll be good for the business. But while I believe he loves her, I sometimes wonder whether she does or if this was just another business deal. It's funny that I don't even though something so basic about my own sister."

"Well, I don't think she knows you that well either," I said. "Heck, there are things I don't know about Komachi." Then after I shuddered at the mental image of my sister kissing her boyfriend, I muttered darkly, "some things I don't want to know."

"That disturbed brain of yours must accept that Komachi is a grown woman now, just like one day you'll have to accept that Homura is no longer your little girl." Said Yukino, looking past me to where my daughter was sitting amongst her family.

"She won't ever stop being my little girl," I said, following Yukino's gaze. "Even when she brings me, grandchildren."

Yukino sighed as she said, "Yes, that does seem to be the way of fathers. Forever stuck in the beliefs that their babies will always be sweet and innocent."

"I don't see how that's a bad thing," I said with a shrug.

"It is when it stops you from protecting the one you love from another," Yukino bitterly.

"Yukino, sometimes as a father you end up hurting your kids without meaning to," I said with regret. "I was complacent, I assumed that Homura would be unaffected by my deeds, that her love for me would be eternal. Even if my actions were born from wanting to help others, I was still selfish for putting those desires ahead of my daughter's happiness."

"Hikigaya, you've never put anything ahead of her happiness," said Yukino, with her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Really," I said with a hint of incredulity. "You can't think of situation recently where I might have put myself and others, before my little girl?"

"I…" started Yukino and then looked away guiltily. Eventually stammering back with, "that's an entirely different set of circumstances to mine. I'm sure Homura will understand and it certainly won't stop her loving you."

"Can I be, though," I said. "I've no idea how she's interpreted everything that happened, no idea what my daughter will think of me when she's old enough to truly understand what happened between me and her mother. I may end up forever chasing her forgiveness and never receiving it."

Yukino thought for a moment and said in a shaken voice, "do you regret seeing us again?"

"No, but I could have handled it better," I said with exasperation. "What I'm trying to say is that being a father doesn't make you infallible, that you make mistakes and they can cost you dearly."

"No one expects you and especially you to be infallible," said Yukino. "But I think I get what you're trying to say." She looked at her father inside and her jaw tensed, before adding, "it's just difficult to see things clearly sometimes."

"I know, I'm not expecting you to brush it aside," I said placing a hand on her shoulder. "I just wanted you to think about it."

"I try to," said Yukino quietly. "But every time I attempt to look at this logically and methodically, all these emotions rush in till I become overwhelmed."

"I don't think you can deal with this logically, Yukino," I said looking in at the party that seemed so far removed from us right now. "Certainly, not here." Homura was chatting with some aunt, but I could tell she was flagging and she looked out at me beseechingly. I looked at Yukino, who seemed so tired that she was probably now, no much more than a shell. Feeling torn over who I should be with more, I dithered over whether to stay or go. But Yukino didn't look like she was up to talking anymore, so I said gently, "I'm going to head back inside. If you want to slip away into the night, I'll cover for you."

Yukino looked up and I think was tempted by the offer, but instead said, "No I should come in with you. It would be best if I stayed a little longer, at least until you leave."

"Well, I'm pretty much going to say my goodbyes and go," I said, tired of this whole business. "So, that won't be much longer."

I expected Yukino to look disappointed and start bargaining for me to stay, but instead she simply said, "I think I can last that long." We both stood, stiff from the cold and Yukino started slipping off my jacket. I waved at her to keep it, but she insisted and said, "Please take it, Hikigaya. I don't want to see my sister's face if she sees me wearing it."

With a sigh, I slung the jacket back, enjoying the slight warmth that Yukino had left behind. I could see the goose pricks stand up on her arms and she hugged herself again. Looking away she said, "thank you for listening to my mad ramblings, Hikigaya. I do feel a little better for it and I probably should have done it sooner, but I guess I was scared of how you'd react."

"I guess it was what I really came here for," I said. "We've all have inner demons we're scared to face, even me."

"I'm scared of what kind of inner demons you have lurking inside of you, Hikigaya," said Yukino with a wary laugh. "They are probably so terrifying, that they would make Poe and Lovecraft shudder."

"Nonsense," I said with a snort of derision. "My inner demons are; cute, moe and full of mischief."

Walking back inside Yukino sighed and shook her head as she said, "that is somehow even more terrifying."

As we entered, I grimaced as I saw Haruno already smiling at us, in her usual knowing way. With some trepidation, we walked over to the Yukinoshita's table. Where Homura was sleepily sitting on Yukino's father's lap as he talked with the rest of family.

My brain was buzzing with ideas of something I could say or do that might help this family's situation or at least lay a foundation for some later bridge between them. But all of that was blasted from my mind as Yukino's mother looked at her youngest daughter dismissively and said, "is she having one of her 'episodes' again?"

Haruno chuckled, while Yukino and her father both flinched, leaving the rest of the family glancing at each other in a fearful silence. I gritted my teeth, fighting back a wave of abuse that threatened to burst forth. Yukino was looking down meekly, her eyes shimmering as she fought back more tears and I clenched my fists.

I wanted to tell the matriarch of the Yukinoshita family exactly what I thought of her stuck up and cold attitude, but I wrenched it back. Despite the potential for joyous catharsis, if I did I knew that I could kiss everything in my life goodbye. From my job, to Homura, to being allowed anywhere near Yukino ever again. Heck, it wouldn't have surprised me if speaking against Mrs Yukinoshita, was liable to get me tossed in Tokyo Bay with concrete footwear.

I think this inner turmoil must have shown on my face, with Yukino's mother giving me a contemptuous look that showed how little she thought of me. A look that reminded me so much of Yukino on that first day at the Service Club.

Oblivious to all this tension, my daughter slid off the knee of Yukino's father and rushed over to hug my legs with a cry of, "Daddy."

I ruffled her hair and forced out politely, "have you been good for the Yukinoshita's?"

"Yeah," Homura said with a grin that I sure was meant to look innocent. "Look what I got," she added with a dramatic, "tah-dah." As she opened her little handbag to reveal that it was stuffed full of sweets.

Raising an eyebrow, I said, "That's quite the haul. Make sure you say thank you and don't forget to share them." Punctuating the comment by I plucking out a lollipop and sticking it in my mouth. I enjoyed the satisfying crunch as my teeth crushed the sweet, letting out my rage at having to act the fool in front of these people. But it was the only way I could break the horrible tension in the air and the pressure that was crushing Yukino, as she stood there without a word.

The still air made me angry, Yukino's silence, her father's silence, my own pathetic silence. I needed to get out of here quick before I lost it and preferably in a way that wouldn't make things worse for my friend.

I stiffly bowed, my own back fighting the need to bend, saying with a forced smile. "Thank you for looking after Homura for me, I hope she wasn't too much trouble."

Yukino's father gave a relieved chuckle, glad at the chance to break the mood as he said, "It's fine Hikigaya. Your little girl reminds me so much of Yuki when she was that age, always wanting to talk about Pan-San."

"Yukino is still, always going on about that accursed panda," said Yukino's mother flatly. To a nervous round of laughter from the rest of the family, as Yukino stood smiling through gritted teeth as her face went red. "Don't worry Hikigaya, your daughter was as good as gold," added Mrs Yukinoshita. "Honestly, I was surprised how well brought up she is."

I could feel my jaw cracking at the force of still smiling at the backhanded compliment. But I managed to turn to Haruno and say, "anyway, it's high time we were going, so thank you again for inviting us. I hope you enjoy this start to your new life, taking this opportunity to leave the past behind and move on to greener pastures with your new family."

Haruno gave me an amused smile, but simply replied with, "of course Hikigaya."

"Right, I go call a taxi," I said awkwardly to the silence from the family. The silence that filled by a clunk of toppling glass and a stream of drunken cursing from further up the hall. I glanced at my fallen teacher adding, "I'd better take Hiratsuka with me and drop her off home."

"Yes Hikigaya," added Yukino's mother. "Kindly take, 'that' with you."

I took Homura's hand and turned to leave, only for Yukino to suddenly say, "Hikigaya, if you want I could drive you home?"

I was a little taken aback as I stammered, "are you sure. I mean, are you sure you're up to it?"

"I haven't drunk anything tonight, so I'll be fine," Yukino said quickly.

"I was thinking more about you being too tired," I said with concern.

"No, I'm fine now Hikigaya," said in a high voice, her amiable smile not matching the pleading in her eyes.

"Erm, okay, I guess it'll save..." I started.

"Good," Yukino cut in. "I'll go bring the car around."

Before I could say anything more Yukino walked swiftly off, leaving me to receive questioning looks from her family. But before they could ask me anything, I also quickly left the scene and strode up the hall.

I approached my former teacher as she grabbed a half empty bottle and tried to pour it into a glass, only to get most of it on the table. Hiratsuka gave me a little toast of welcome, before downing the glass in one gulp and pouring another.

"I think you've had enough, Shizuka," I said firmly. "Before the Yukinoshita's have you thrown out."

"Screw 'em, screw this whole fucking family," Hiratsuka said far too loudly. "I'm done with them and their judgements, so fuck them all." She raised her glass dramatically, then brought it down and drank what hadn't sloshed over the side. Then leaning in close she said conspiratorially, "apart from Yukino, of course, she's a sweetie."

I pulled Hiratsuka to her feet and wrapped her arm around my shoulder like she was a wounded soldier. Homura tried to lift the teacher's handbag, but it was too full of unopened bottles for her little arms to lift. With a grunt, I took it and slowly dragged Hiratsuka towards the door, my daughter tottering along behind.

The mention of Yukino, formed a question in my head, one that I was confident I already knew the answer to, but I had to be sure. Snapping my fingers to get Hiratsuka's attention I asked, "Quick question Shizuka. When the Service Club was first formed, was it Haruno's idea?"

Hiratsuka blinked in confusion and tried to focus on me. Before saying slowly, "No, it was Yukino's idea, why?"

"It's just some of the stuff that Yukino was saying earlier about her sister made me wonder," I said with a little trepidation.

"Has she really got that bad?" Said Hiratsuka sadly, sagging so much I stumbled. "I warned her mother, so, so, so many, many times. But she was always, 'someone like you doesn't get to tell me how to raise my daughter' and all that. It was why I agreed to Yukino starting up the club in first place."

"So, it definitely wasn't some idea of Haruno's?" I asked again to be sure.

"Oh, God no," Hiratsuka said. "Haruno setting up a club to help people, don't make laugh. Nope, it was totally Yukino's idea and it was so unlike her sister, that I fully supported it. Sadly, Yukino didn't realise that the whole, 'helping others to help themselves' thing, is exactly like her mother."

Again, I had a deeper question that just needed the answer to, that made me ask Hiratsuka, "What about me and Yui. Was our involvement part of a plan or was the club just a convenient dumping ground, for troublesome children?"

Hiratsuka gave me a sad smile and said, "so Yukino doubts even you two." She gave a hollow laugh and added, "The club was only partly a place to rid me of your insolence. You see my little Hikigaya, I had originally hoped that the club would be like a little haven for Yukino, but really it only made her more reclusive. By the time, I brought you along, Yukino had practically retreated from the big wide world entirely and lost herself in the world of books."

"No wonder she was so welcoming," I said. "Even without her believing that I was some agent of her sister, I doubt Yukino liked me breaking her peace and quiet."

"The image of you as some evil underling is so perfect, that Yukino could be forgiven for believing it." Said Hiratsuka, hunching her shoulder up and rolling an eye as she added, "Yeeesh mistresssssh."

As Hiratsuka nearly collapsed to the floor in a fit of giggles, I frowned as I stated, "never. There's no way I would work that hard, in a thankless job under such dangerous work conditions."

Hiratsuka gave an exaggerated nod as she said, "very, very true. I had hoped some of Yukino's, work ethic would rub off on you, but sadly not."

"I think I may have been too far gone, even then," I said. "You might have been better off finding some other peon to do your bidding."

"No, no, nope," Hiratsuka said slowly, shaking her head. "Yukino needed, to be around someone as simple and blunt, as you Hikigaya. To see that not everyone thinks, like her sweet sister or ever loving mother, even if that, unfortunately, had to be your way of thinking."

"I suppose Yukino was fortunate that Yui came along, otherwise god knows what would have happened to her, " I said with a short laugh. "I was never sure if you planned it that way or whether it was an accident."

"I was as surprised as you were when Yui joined your little, brigade," said Hiratsuka. "But I think Yui's, open-heartedness was also what Yukino needed, possibly even more than your cynicism. Though my relief at Yukino's progress, I think made me blind to the toll it took on Yui herself, much to my eternal shame as a teacher."

"It was staring me right in the face, but I didn't realise at the time how much Yui gave to the club," I said regretfully. "No wonder she went off the rails like she did when everything went to pieces."

Hiratsuka nodded sadly to the point where she nearly fell over again. "Hachiman," she said in my ear, bathing me in her alcoholic breath. "Hachiman, I know I've asked you to look after Yukino, but please, please, please, don't forget about Yui. I know it must be hard for you, but she needs you as well and I wish I had the solution that an old, well not too old, wise sensei should have. But instead, you just have the ramblings of a drunken hag."

"Don't worry, I won't allow Yui to fall by the wayside, I said with a hope of reassurance. "I anything, today has proven to me that Yukino, really needs Yui in times like this."

"Don't start putting yourself down again, Hikigaya," said Hiratsuka as she squeezed my hand. "But I am so, so glad that you three are friends again and it brings warmth to this old heart. You're actually very lucky, I wish I could get back with some of my old friends, seeing you and Yukino together today made me really miss them."

I looked at Hiratsuka in surprise, before asking, "Well why haven't you talked to them?"

"You don't get to look at me like you're surprised I had friends," Hiratsuka exclaimed. "Well, I caused a lot of pain and heartache, for someone dear to me, some of which was embroiled in this mess with this accused family. So, I doubt she wants to talk to me anymore, no doubt she's moved on to better things by now."

"Well I used to think the same thing and while it's certainly not been easy, I think it's been worth it." I smiled as Homura as she tottered along beside us and added, "at least I hope it will be."

"Maybe I will," said Hiratsuka after a moment of contemplation. "I guess I'm scared of her saying no, as much as I am of her saying yes."

"At least you'll know for sure either way," I said with shrug.

"That's as scary as not knowing," exclaimed Hiratsuka. "There's a strange comfort in the unknown."

"Well, at least you'd be able to move on then if she says no," I said.

"But what if she says yes?" said Hiratsuka faintly. Before giving a groan of frustration and demanding, "give me my phone before I lose my bottle."

"Your phone is probably under all the bottles you already have," I said with a grimace. Shifting the weight of handbag and making the contraband inside clank together as we finally approached the doors.

My head bowed against Hiratsuka's drunken weight, I didn't see the source of a polite cough before we almost ran into him. I looked up to see Mr Yukinoshita looming over me, swaying slightly as he fidgeted drunkenly. To deal with him properly, I unceremoniously dumped Hiratsuka in a nearby chair, making her curse my name, only to immediately appeased by the half-drunk bottle on the table.

"Look Hikigaya, I wanted, to catch you before, you left," Yukino's father said after a deep breath like was doing a speech. "I know things haven't always been easy between you and Yuki. But I wanted to thank you for all you've done to help her, especially when I couldn't." He grabbed my hands in his and shook them, partly out of gratitude and possibly to stop himself from falling over. "I understand that things are, complicated between Yuki, yourself and the Yuigahama girl. But if you, both of you, are able to continue to support Yuki, then maybe I can work to redeem myself in her eyes as well."

I growing irritation I considered the man, for while I did feel sorry for him, in the end, I was always going to take Yukino's side over her family. With a sigh, I said, "she's a grown woman now. It is up to her how she wants to deal with what troubles her, but Yui and I will support her regardless, even if that means going against her family's wishes. Though, if you're looking to me to magically 'fix' your daughter, you can forget it."

He seemed visibly stung by the last comment and his heart sank as he bowed his head and said, "that's understandable, Hikigaya."

"But, I understand how hard a father's choices can be," I added. "So, if I can help her build bridges with you I will." I paused to look at the rest of the family as the watched us intently, Haruno with a curious smile and Yukino's mother with an irritated frown. "As for Haruno and her mother, I'm not sure what I can do about them, that will be for you and Yukino to deal with."

"Of course," Mr Yukinoshita said, looking grimly at his wife and eldest daughter. "It's funny I can build a bridge over the Arakawa River with my eyes shut, but between my family." He shook his head sadly and looked at me with a forlorn smile and added, "still maybe with your help, it might happen." Then suddenly he lunged forwards and grabbed me into a bear hug, forcing the air from my lungs. As I struggled to breathe, he squeaked, "Thank you for letting me see Yuki smile again."

As he let me go, wiping at his eyes I wondered why it was such a big deal. I mean all you had to do was put a cat in front of Yukino and she'd be grinning like well, a Cheshire Cat. I was about to voice this when someone drunkenly drawled behind us. "Wow Hikigaya, you've got approval from a Yukinoshita," said Hiratsuka nastily. "impressive."

"Ahh Hiratsuka," started Mr Yukinoshita, as if suddenly realising she was there. As her eyes narrowed he hurriedly added, "Sensei. I should also thank for all that you..."

"Oh, stuff it," Hiratsuka cut in, before adding a venomous, "sir."

She stood unsteadily, grabbing her handbag in a dramatic swing that almost made her fall over. I flinched as Hiratsuka grabbed my startled daughter by the hand and tried to stagger off. "Damn it Hikigaya, give me a hand," Hiratsuka cried dramatically. "Let's get the hell out here."

I dashed to grab her arm before she fell on Homura, while Yukino's father offered to help, only to be shot down by a glare from Hiratsuka. Flouncing dramatically, she marched us towards the door, leaving Mr Yukinoshita watching us go, mumbling something to himself.

We emerged into the cold evening to see Yukino waiting by her car, the engine already running. She waved anxiously, bouncing on her toes and glancing about like a getaway driver, waiting for their crew.

"Hello, Yukino!" Shouted Hiratsuka, waving dramatically like Yukino wasn't only a few feet in front of her. Our former teacher tried to hug Yukino as I dragged her past and shoved her roughly into the back seat. I slammed the door on Hiratsuka's drunken complaints and led my daughter around to the other side. Opening the door for Homura, I helped her in and sure the seatbelt was securely fastened.

Hiratsuka was leaning over to me, getting in my face, so I pushed her back and fastened her belt as well. Leaving her giggling, I emerged from the car and was greeted by, "So how many daughters have you got now, Hikigaya?"

"Why, are you wanting to be added to the list of petulant children I have to deal with?" I said to Haruno sourly.

"That's no way to talk to a bride on her wedding day," scolded Haruno. Still with that annoyingly amused smile as she sat on a wall, heedless of what it probably did the horrifically expensive dress.

"What do you want, Haruno?" I said irritably, my patience wearing as thin as rice paper.

"I just wanted to say goodbye to my sister," Haruno replied. "it's not even midnight and she's trying to disappear off like Cinderella."

I looked for Yukino, but she had already jumped back inside the car. I glanced down through the window, where she stared at me with wide eyes, clutching the steering wheel and clearly desperate to get a move on. "Look Haruno," I said bluntly as I straightened up. "I think it should have been apparent by now that Yukino wants you to leave her alone."

Haruno barked a laugh as she stated, "Leave her alone. Hikigaya, if I left her alone she'd be whiling away her life like a hermit. Surrounded by cats and Pan-San, reading her precious books until the end of the world."

"Is that so wrong," I asked. "If Yukino wants to live like that, then so be it."

"Please," said Haruno. "You know as well as I that it wouldn't be good for her. Not to mention my parents would never let me, no matter how tempting it is. Mother would be all, 'it is not proper behaviour for a Yukinoshita' and Father would worry himself into an early grave."

Sure, Haruno was probably right about all that, but I wasn't going to let her know that. So, with an irritated sigh I said, "Haruno, I don't think you're going to get anything more out of your sister tonight, just let it slide for once."

"Anything more?" said Haruno angrily. "All my dear sister has done today is sit there and be miserable. Is it too much to ask for her to at least pretend to be happy at my own damn wedding?"

"If you wanted her to be happy," I snapped back. "You should have invited Yui, as well."

"Well sorry, I don't keep up to date on that weird ménage à trois or whatever it is you three have going on," said Haruno with a roll of her eyes. "Forgive me, if I thought it would be nice for you and Yukino to have time to together. God forbid, that you two might even enjoy a little bit of romance tonight."

"Are our love lives really any of your business now, you've got far bigger things to be worrying about," I said waving a hand at her bump.

"Tell me about it," said Haruno with a grimace as she cracked her back. "But until my family stops nagging me about it, I'm going to keep nagging you guys."

"Well tell them we've got it sorted, tell them it's not your problem," I said. "Tell them to fuck right off."

"If only it was that easy," said Haruno with a laugh. "Though I think meeting you and more importantly that sweet little girl of yours did allay their worries a little bit."

"While I will tolerate your instance on meddling with my life," I said with a snarl. "Would you kindly not involve my daughter in your insipid games."

Haruno paused for a moment and then nodded as she said, "very well Hikigaya. Though to be fair I wasn't expecting Homura to have quite the effect she did, I guess she just got caught up in Father's excitement at becoming a grandfather. As for games, regardless of what my sister thinks, I am not playing games with her life."

"Really, then why even invite me here in first place," I said bluntly. "Because it certainly wasn't for my witty table banter and I'm sure there must have been others higher on your list."

Haruno sighed with a sudden rush of fatigue and said, "Because if you were here, I knew she would stay. If you weren't, I doubt she'd made it past the 'I dos,' before claiming some illness and disappearing. But with you around, well as you can see, she's still here."

Haruno bent down and waved at her sister with a grin. "Though I note you're the one out here arguing her point, while she hides in there," Haruno added. "Even if it doesn't exactly surprise me."

I had to begrudge Haruno the point and quite frankly I was sick of all of this. I wrenched open the car door and leant in where Yukino was looking at me with fearfully. With narrowed eyes, I told her, "Come on Yukino, say goodbye to your sister so we can get out of here."

Yukino shrank back, shaking her head in silent refusal and while I understood her fear. My own experience of weddings had taught me that they were places where grudges were formed or at least cemented in place for eternity. If there was going to be any chance of reconciliation between the two sisters, Yukino needed to go through this formality. So, I tried again with, "Look, just get out here and say something, anything to her."

"I've got something to say to her," yelled Hiratsuka from the back seat with a malevolent grin.

"No, you haven't," I said bluntly, pointing the drunken teacher down.

"Goodbye Haru," said Homura in the sing-song voice of innocence. Waving through the window at Haruno, who returned the gesture with a smile.

"Yukino, even my daughter has..." I started.

"Okay, okay," cried Yukino thumping her hands on the steering wheel. She threw open the car door and swung herself out, using every chance to scowl at me.

The two sisters faced each other, Haruno's face irritatingly lit with such triumph that a lesser man might have it wiped away with a punch. Yukino on the other hand, looked like she was attempting to smile, but her face was twitching so badly that it looked like a snarl.

There was a long pause and eventually Yukino said formally, "Thank you for inviting me to your wedding."

Haruno sighed and rubbed her temples. "You're my sister, of course, I'd invite you to my wedding."

"I know, I mean," started Yukino as she became flustered. "I wish you and your husband all the best, in your new life. That you have a pleasant honeymoon, taking plenty of time to relax and enjoy yourselves." Yukino paused, clearly exhausted even from this short cookie cutter speech. She gathered herself and added, "be sure to take good care of my niece or nephew. I'm assuming you still haven't found out which have you?"

Haruno stroked her bump, saying proudly, "No, we still want it to be a surprise."

Yukino's expression made it clear she didn't approve of such surprises, but she didn't say so. There was another awkward pause until Yukino eventually said haltingly, "please let me know, when the baby, is on its way."

"Aww, you do care," laughed Haruno and pulled her sister into a very uncomfortable looking hug. Yukino's expression started to resemble a cat that didn't like being picked up, as she grimaced against Haruno rubbing her hair. Eventually, the elder Yukinoshita let go and said, "make sure to look after our parents at work. Mother will push herself into another stroke if you let her and Father will put his back out trying to help out on a site, knowing him." Haruno gripped Yukino's shoulders and patted them, trying to look into Yukino's down turned eyes as she said, "it's time for the children to look after the parents. Which I am quite sure you're going to relish."

Yukino was silent, looking blankly at the elaborate stitching on the front of Haruno's dress. Haruno sighed and stroked her sister's hair as she said, "That's all I'm going to get out of you tonight isn't it, Sis?" Haruno hugged Yukino again briefly and continued, "try not to stress yourself. If it all gets too much, dump it on Hikigaya, it's what he's good for."

"Gee thanks," I said with a sour look.

"It's time for you to stop cleaning toilets and become my sister's dogsbody, Hikigaya, "said Haruno dramatically. "Though maybe 'catsbody' would motivate her more, even if it doesn't quite work." Haruno looked at Yukino to see if her joke had cracked a smile, but it hadn't. Clearly, Yukino was too far gone, for even the mention of cats to perk her interest and Haruno seemed to finally give up. Taking a deep breath Haruno said, "okay I'll let you both go. I'd tell you to go and have fun together, but I know the odds of you two getting up to that kind of mischief tonight, are pretty much zero."

I rolled my eyes as Haruno started back towards the hall doors shaking head. As soon as her sister's back was turned, Yukino shot back towards the car, without a sound and slid inside. Hearing the door click, Haruno turned and said, "good luck Hikigaya, you're going to need it." Then as an afterthought, Haruno added, "oh and drive gently, Shizuka is liable to puke when she's this drunk."

I gave the bride a dismissive wave as she laughed and disappeared back inside, then climbed into the car myself, which drove off before I'd even closed the door.

Yukino's silence continued inside the car as we wound our way through the streets, the lights flashing over her stony expression. I was going to leave her to it when Yukino said bitterly, "was that really necessary, Hikigaya?"

"What being polite and saying goodbye to your sister properly?" I said. "Yes, it was necessary."

"Still, you could tell I didn't want to," said Yukino.

"You're the one that's always been a stickler for formalities and manners, don't be using them only when they suit you," I said. "Anyway it's not like I forced you to, you could have refused or driven off at any time if you wanted."

"You know I couldn't," Yukino said tersely.

I groaned, rubbing my tired eyes as I asked, "Yukino, what do you want?"

"Oh, I know what Yukino wants or at least what she needs," Cut in Hiratsuka with a dirty cackle.

"Hiratsuka!" screeched Yukino. Snapping her head around and making the car swerve a little in her indignation.

I reached over and steadied the wheel before saying flatly, "Hiratsuka. Need I remind you that my daughter is sitting next to you, kindly attempt to act like a teacher in front of children."

"Does Auntie Yuki want a sweetie?" Asked Homura in confused innocence. Opening her little handbag and offering the contents as Hiratsuka howled with laughter.

As Yukino started to refuse, I said, "actually yes she does. Grabbing a lollipop and sticking it in Yukino's open mouth. She was surprised but seemed to relax as the sugar started to melt, just like it always did with Homura.

Hiratsuka was still giggling away, mumbling obscene euphemisms that I hoped my daughter couldn't hear or comprehend. But otherwise, the car was quiet until Homura gingerly asked, "is it okay?"

Yukino coughed in surprise and stammered, "Yes dear, thank you." Giving Homura a smile in the rear view mirror. Homura smiled back, but she had that concerned look she wore when she knew something was wrong but was too young to understand it. To distract my daughter from the conversation, I handed her my phone and she happily started tapping away at the tennis game she loved.

Thinking it would be best to distract Hiratsuka as well, I fished out her phone and handed it to her. Adding, "didn't you have a friend to talk to or something?" Hiratsuka's giggles died and she started to clumsily type into her phone, as the soft beeps from Homura's game carried to the front seats.

With them appeased, I tried again to ask, "well, what is it that you want Yukino?"

But her continued silence forced me to add, "because, after today, I'd totally understand if you wanted to leave all this behind and go live in a remote cottage surrounded by cats. If you hate your family that much, then screw them, screw the company, if that's what it takes to make you happy, just go. If you're worried about me and Yui, we'll find some way to make it work, even if we end up visiting you on holidays."

Yukino's distant silence slowly shifted into a sad smile as she said, "that used to be my dream. A house by the sea, where I could be left at peace from the rest of the world and its torments. Though I think that desire sustained me through most of my school life, it's still just the dream of a foolish little girl."

"It's not foolish, I think I might have had a similar dream once," I said. Even though mine had involved a wealthy wife who provided for my every whim as I lived the high life of a house husband. Regardless of how sour the reality of my fantasy had become, it didn't mean Yukino couldn't have hers. So, I added, "You can still have your dream if you want it?"

"But that's it, I don't want it anymore," Yukino replied with exasperation. "Like so many of my dreams, you ruined it Hikigaya."

"Ruined," I asked in confusion. "What the hell did I…" My words fumbled as the obvious answer formed in my mind. "Well, I meant apart from," I stammered awkwardly, trying to cover my mistake.

Yukino chuckled at my embarrassment, before saying, "Well I suppose it's Yui's and Hiratsuka's fault too, but it's strangely more satisfying to blame you."

"Oh, I feel so privileged," I retorted. "But I can't have completely ruined your dreams of being a crazy cat lady on my own."

"You see, once I was in a position to choose that life. The time I'd spent with you and Yui made me realise that well, I didn't want it anymore." Yukino's voice cracked a little as she continued, "but the solitude found me anyway and by then my old dream started to feel like a death sentence. I started rejecting anything that might lead me down that path, like the holiday house Father built for me and refusing to keep a cat at home."

Though it sounded ridiculous, I knew how much that last act must have cost Yukino in her heart, denying herself one of the few things that ever made her happy.

"You could have made new friends at university," I said trying to shift her life story along to hopefully happier times. "It's not like I and Yui are the only friends you're ever allowed to have."

"I couldn't," Yukino stammered. "Even when I did convince myself that the other students weren't anything to do with my sister, I would get scared of getting hurt again and push them all away."

"So yeah," I said with a horrible guilty feeling growing inside. "I can see how I pretty much ruined things."

But Yukino shook her head and gave me a tender smile as she said," I think looking back I was just as scared of hurting them, as of anything they might do to me. Anyway, by the time I'd finished drifting through my university years, Mother fell ill and I buried myself in work."

Yukino was so ghost like already, it was easy to imagine her at university, flitting from lecture to lecture, leaving behind a trail of whispered legends. At work with people who were paid to be her family's pawns, it was easy to understand why Yukino would have considered it a friendless place. "Couldn't you have done anything else, I'm sure you could have convinced your parents to let you somehow," I said. Even though I doubted that Yukino's mother could be convinced of anything.

"They didn't want me to work for the company initially, it was I that actually persuaded them, in the end," said Yukino. Before adding cynically, "Mother didn't believe I was up to the task and Father, well he just didn't want his 'little Yuki' growing up."

"I'm certain it was because he knew that you'd let your work consume you," I said. "Much like it had just done to your mother."

"Don't compare me to my mother!" Shouted Yukino suddenly. Causing Homura to make a little squeak in fright and Hiratsuka to snort in her sleep. Yukino's eyes fixed on me with a blazing glare, before she looked to the road and sighed.

Taking a deep breath Yukino said forlornly, "I'm sorry. This is why talking about is so hard for me, I can barely get started before I get so angry at them I want to scream. If the nagging doubts don't twist my head up into a nightmare of my own making."

"It's fine," I said, trying to calm her down. "Just take your time."

"Auntie Yuki's mom is scary." Piped up Homura suddenly in the lull of conversation.

The car lurched as Yukino tried to suppress her laughter, making me glad for the quiet night road. Gasping for air Yukino spluttered as she said, "Indeed she is."

"Homura, don't be rude about other people's mothers," I intoned solemnly. "The only mother you can say is scary, is your own."

"Hikigaya, you can't tell her that," said Yukino in amused shock. "I certainly have no liking for Iroha, but she still deserves respect from her daughter."

"That's a little rich coming from you, to be honest," I said.

"Oh, I respect my mother," stated Yukino, forcing herself back to formality. "It's about the only thing I do feel for her, but I do respect her."

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not," I said.

"Well she's achieved a great many things in her time, in a world that fought against her at every step," said Yukino with a surprising hint of pride. "I guess it's just ironic that my mother's greatest failing is well, being a mother."

"I guess it depends on what you define as a good mother," I said with a shrug.

"Do you seriously think she is?" Yukino said with alarm.

"No," I said. "But it's not like she's trying to be a bad mother, she just has a very different view of what good parenting is. I mean, what does your sister think of your mother?

"My sister has always sided with Mother, but as for what she actually thinks of her, I've never been certain," said Yukino. "My sister hides much of herself behind that smile, but what's actually there, I actually don't know.

"Maybe there are some things man was never meant to know," I said.

"Which is why us women have such a hard time," replied Yukino with a smile. "Dealing with all the places where you men fear to tread."

"Maybe that's how your mom ended up the way she is?" I said.

"Possibly," said Yukino with a small laugh. "Mother was always the one to make the hard decisions, either with work or family. Father is too soft for such things, there have been a few times he's put his foot down like allowing me to move out and the whole business with that stupid bet. But they've always felt like making amends for past mistakes, rather than tackling the real problem head on."

"I get the impression he's been spending most your life trying to make things up to you," I said.

"I'm never sure if Father wants to fix things or just get his little baby back?" said Yukino. "But the simple truth is that well, that innocent little girl is gone and is never returning."

"I'm sure deep down he knows that," I said.

"Are you sure Hikigaya?" Yukino said. "That little girl behind you will one day be a surly teenager, maybe get married and have children of her own. Are you ready for that?"

"I can't say which one of those scares me the most, but the truth is she will always be my daughter and nothing will change that," I said. "But I get what you're saying, so feel free to give me a kick if I ever get too bad."

"Oh, don't worry I will and believe me, it'll be a hard one," said Yukino with a scary smile.

"Anyway, only her becoming a teenager is inevitable," I said. "The other two may not happen."

Yukino actually looked a little shocked and said, "you'd rather Homura didn't. That your daughter…" Yukino cut herself off, but her eyes looked up at the mirror at Hiratsuka, who was drooling slightly in her sleep.

I looked at our former teacher in her drunken stupor and grimaced. "Okay, I see your point, I wouldn't wish that on her, let alone my own daughter." I smiled at Homura, who looked up from playing with my phone and smiled back, before immediately going back to her game.

My twisted pose made me lurch awkwardly when the car made a sudden sharp turn and pulled up in front of a large, brutally designed apartment block. Yukino cut the engine and stretched out her slender arms in her usual catlike fashion. "I hope this is the place," said Yukino warily. "I managed to get the address out of her, while you were talking to my sister, but Hiratsuka is so drunk we could be anywhere."

"Well, we'll try," I said with a sigh. "If not, then Shizuka can sleep at mine until she's sober enough to tell us where she really lives.

"My apartment would probably better," said Yukino hurriedly. "I have a proper spare room and it'd be far more comfortable for her."

"Fine with me," I said with a shrug. "But first let's see about here. Did you get the number of the apartment?"

"Yes, it was 302," said Yukino looking again at the grim building with concern.

Climbing out of the car, I stretched and yawned at the freedom from being cooped up inside. Walking around to the passenger door on Hiratsuka's side and opened it, only for the sleeping teacher to immediately start slipping out sideways. Quickly I ducked down, catching her before she hit the tarmac, sliding an arm under her knees and back.

I groaned as I straightened up, feeling every vertebrae and limb scream in protest. While Hiratsuka certainly wasn't fat in any way, she was still well built and her drunkenness made her awkward to balance. Hiratsuka opened her eyes briefly as I adjusted her position, murmuring, "hey Hikigaya, not so rough." She giggled softly and looked about, before dreamily adding "oh, I'm home."

I was going to put her down, but instead, Hiratsuka wrapped her arm around my neck and pulled herself into a more comfortable position. As I tried not to choke, Yukino watched the scene with growing discomfort, her cheeks flushing a little as her eyes darted about, focussing on straightening Hiratsuka's dress. I rolled my eyes before saying, "can you get Homura out and then we can head up."

"Actually, wouldn't it be easier if she stayed in the car?" asked Yukino.

I looked at Yukino in disgust as I said, "No, it's not safe to leave her here in the slightest."

Yukino looked at the apartment block and said, "I'm not sure there will be any safer."

"Still," I said.

"Homura will be fine, Hikigaya," said Yukino firmly. "I will make sure the car is locked and secured."

"But?" I started as my breathing became more laboured.

"This is what I talking about earlier," said Yukino. "I'd rather not kick you while you're carrying such a burden."

My knees buckled slightly to press the point and through gritted teeth, I said, "fine, but let's make it quick." I turned to look properly at my daughter, who was looking at us with concern. "Sweetie, we're just going to take Hiratsuka up to bed, then we'll be right back, okay," I said with the most confident voice that I could manage. Homura's face started to look scared, so I quickly added, "I need you to be brave just for a few minutes."

Yukino cleared her throat and made her best attempt at a supportive smile, before saying, "if you get scared, just press the horn and we'll run straight back."

"But only in an emergency," I added quickly before my daughter got any mischievous ideas. "Just sit tight and we won't be long."

"Okay, Daddy," said Homura nervously. Watching us constantly as Yukino closed the door and locked it. We walked towards the entrance, the weight of Hiratsuka in my arms, making my pace achingly slow. I constantly glanced back at Homura in the car, her small face illuminated by the glare from the phone screen.

"She'll be fine I promise," said Yukino as I took a final glance while the elevator doors slammed shut.

I still couldn't relax, even when I leant back against the elevator wall to take some of Hiratsuka's weight off me. She grumbled in her sleep like a baby as I tried to get a better grip, and I wondered how actors managed to lift their leading ladies like this.

Yukino still wasn't comfortable with the situation and kept glancing at us while she nervously played with her hair. I wasn't sure what else I was supposed to do with Hiratsuka, it wasn't like Yukino could carry her and I was truly only feeling a little bit of manly pride at the experience.

The elevator clattered to a halt and we headed over to the apartment, Yukino gingerly searching through Hiratsuka's handbag for the keys, as if she was afraid of what lurked inside. With a jangle, she fished out a mass of key rings and struggled with the assorted anime characters to find the front door key amongst them. Eventually, Yukino got the door open and motioned me to go in ahead, so turning sideward to avoid bumping Hiratsuka's head, I went in.

Hiratsuka stirred in her sleep, lolling her head and looking at the darkened hallway. Gazing up at me with doe like eyes, she smiled and said, "Hey Hikigaya, you're carrying me over the threshold." That was followed by a hollow hopeless laugh that left me to smile back at her weakly.

The way forward became impossible as I bumped against bags, boxes and piles of books. I grimaced as I slowly tipped Hiratsuka back onto her feet and she put her hands against the walls to steady herself. We all blinked as Yukino flicked on the light and I heard her gasp at the sight that greeted us. "Please excuse the mess," said Hiratsuka vaguely and we emerged into the lone main room.

Yukino hugged herself, glancing at the piles of beer cans and takeout boxes as if expecting something to leap out at her. I looked up at the row of dusty Gundam frames that guarded untidy shelves of manga and anime. Then with a shrug, I said lightly, "this is nothing. You should see Zaimokuza's place, there's merchandise in that pit that would terrify the likes of you two ladies."

"I ain't no lady," declared Hiratsuka as she stumbled on the rumpled futon that was still rolled out on the floor. Then as if to prove it, she yanked her dress up over her head, heedless of our presence. Just as the top of her stockings came into view, I forced myself to turn away and tried to focus my mind on the pictures on Hiratsuka's wall.

"Hiratsuka!" Cried Yukino from behind me, in a mixture of anger and panic. "Hikigaya's in the room."

"He can look if he wants," said Hiratsuka with a giggle.

"No, he cannot," said Yukino in a firm voice that was clearly meant for me.

"Pah, lighten up Yukino," scoffed Hiratsuka in a slurred voice.

To try and allay her fears I said as casually as I could, "can we hurry it up. Only I want to get Homura quickly before she gets scared."

But I don't think they were listening, as the sounds of Hiratsuka's giggles and Yukino's complaints came from behind me. I forced myself to stare at the photos, trying not hear Yukino exclaim, "how can wear such things to a wedding?"

Nor Hiratsuka reply, "you never know, I might have gotten lucky."

Anyway, the framed photos that covered most of the wall, seemed to chart most of Hiratsuka's educational career. Mostly scenes of her standing with the various classes and clubs that Hiratsuka had looked after. In older photos, she stood tall and proud but seemed to grow haggard as the years went on, especially after my third year.

There were, of course, pictures featuring me, somehow managing to look miserable regardless of the situation. Even when I was surrounded by beautiful women in wedding dresses, I still had a scowl and I don't think one of them being my sister was a good enough excuse.

Hiratsuka looked incredibly striking in her wedding dress and why no one had caused her to wear it for real was beyond me. I knew in my heart it couldn't be me, regardless of the age gap, which was a bit less meaningful these days. But that didn't stop all the single guys, those without complicated women problems from taking her, so why hadn't was beyond me. Sure, she drank too much and as Yukino was discovering, became very difficult when she did. But under all that was a caring woman, still filled with a surprising amount of energy for a woman of her age and life experiences.

I despaired at the men of Japan and looked with a heavy heart at some of Hiratsuka's older photos. It was strange seeing her as a school girl standing amongst her classmates, though there seemed to be a distance between them and her that reminded me a little of Yukino. Her college photos were a little better, with a focus on a heavy metal band that Hiratsuka seemed to have played bass with. I knew my old teacher could play the guitar, but it was a surprise to see a large photo of her playing on stage. The epic image of Hiratsuka in studded biker leathers, sporting piercings and purple highlights running through her long black hair. Standing back to back with another woman, decked in a skimpy red number, barely hidden by long brown hair, streaked with pink. Both caught in that adrenaline filled moment, screaming the lyrics to some metal anthem with all their might.

"I used to be a bit of wild child in my younger days," said Hiratsuka over my shoulder. "Yukino might vaguely remember."

Believe me, I remember and I'm not sure you ever stopped being one," said Yukino grimly. "Anyway, you can turn around now Hikigaya, she's as decent as I can make her."

I turned around tentatively and was greeted by a rather flustered looking Yukino and a pleased Hiratsuka. Now decked out in pyjama bottoms and a slightly too clingy vest top, Hiratsuka went "tah-dah," then failed to complete a pirouette.

Both Yukino and I sighed, as we watched our former teacher spiral slowly to the floor into an untidy pile. After some curses, that necessitated some help from Yukino, Hiratsuka managed to crawl under the duvet and was soon dozily smiling at us from her pillow. Yukino shook her head in consternation and looked at me with a despairingly as she said, "shall we go?"

"Yes," I said with relief, glad to getting back to my daughter.

"Don't I get a goodnight kiss?" wailed Hiratsuka.

I looked at her incredulously and said dismissively, "Yukino, give her a kiss, so we can get out of here."

Yukino gave me an incredulous look back, but to my surprise actually knelt to kiss Hiratsuka's forehead. Unfortunately for Yukino, the reprobate teacher suddenly tilted her head back and the kiss landed straight on Hiratsuka's lips. Yukino reeled back, wiping her mouth and spluttering, as Hiratsuka roared with laughter. I shook my head and turned to leave, this kiss between women held none of the purity and love, that might exist between two girls in a band club. Instead, Yukino seemed to have received a slobbery taste of middle-aged alcoholism, as she still wiped her mouth clean.

"Thank you for bringing me home," said Hiratsuka with a soft giggle. Before adding fondly for what felt like the hundredth time, "It makes me so glad to see you, two friends, again, promise me you two and Yuigahama will stay together no matter what."

"We will," I said dismissively, just wanting to get out of there. "Goodnight Shizuka."

"Do not underestimate the power of friendship," cried Hiratsuka, punching the air dramatically. "With it, you will never be defeated."

Yukino gave me a confused look and I said more sternly, "good night, Shizuka."

"Hiratsuka made a 'woo' noise, no doubt followed by another air punch as we headed out the door and Yukino gave a final uncertain, "sleep well."

I shook my head again as I closed the door, purposefully ignoring the sound of Hiratsuka's phone ringing and the string of curses she made as she tried to answer it.

Yukino seemed deep in thought as we rode the elevator back down and I left her to it as we walked back to the car, my eyes instead fixed on my daughter inside. My heart started to slow as I saw that Homura was fine, though her head weaved from side to side as she tried to make us out in the gloom.

"See, she's absolutely fine," said Yukino smugly. But I ignored her, rushing around the car, to open the door and give my daughter a hug.

"Have you been okay?" I asked Homura, looking at her critically.

"Yeah, I was brave," Homura replied. But the slight quaver in her voice and the tears at the edge of her eyes told another story.

"Did anything scare you?" I enquired.

"There was a big dog barking," stammered Homura, her lip quivering a little at the memory.

"Yes, dogs are such noisy creatures," confirmed Yukino from the driver's seat, in the superior tone of a cat lover.

"Don't let Yui hear you talking like that," I told Yukino. "You know how she gets upset when you dismiss them."

"Well they are noisy," said Yukino defensively. "Even she must realise that after how loud Sable used to be, especially for such a small animal."

"Well it's gone now," I said. Before bowing my head to Homura and saying, "thank you for being so brave."

I gave her another hug and Homura asked tentatively, "can we going home now?"

"Yes," I said with a sigh, "let's go home."

I checked Homura's seatbelt and gently closed the door, before jumping in the front as Yukino gunned the engine. We drove off again, the car silent as Yukino slipped into thought, as the car slipped through its gears.

I felt myself starting to doze a little to the rhythm of the street lights, as we wound through the city. When Yukino startled me awake by suddenly saying, "I want to help her."

"Huh, who?" I said sleepily, blinking into wakefulness.

"Hiratsuka," snapped Yukino irritably.

"Oh, yeah," I said vaguely. "Help her with what?"

"You know," said Yukino searching for the right words. "I suspect you were joking before or maybe just being evasive when you talked about finding her someone. Well, I think she needs help with much more than that."

"Yukino, it's not our place to tell her how to live her life," I said.

"You're happy at seeing her living like that?" Exclaimed Yukino.

"Not everyone cares about having things neat and tidy," I said with a shrug.

"I know," said Yukino stiffly. "But I wasn't talking about that. Did you look at the piles of books?"

"No, I was too busy trying not to look at Hiratsuka getting undressed," I said.

Yukino sighed with irritation, "they were all old workbooks from school. Hundreds of them, all over the place, I even saw one of yours there."

"You didn't read it, did you?" I said in a panic, might heart lurching into top speed.

"No, I was busy, why?" Said Yukino, puzzled.

"No, no reason," I stammered. Thankful that Yukino hadn't read some essay that I had once believed was the epitome of sophisticated counter-culturalism, though I suppose she could have done with the laugh today. Even if the very thought of anyone seeing those words again, made me want to curl into a ball and die. So, I considered that on this point I at least agreed with Yukino as I added, "Yes, it's about time those books were thrown out." As well as shredded, burnt and the ashes scattered to the four winds.

"You agree with me then?" asked Yukino, still looking confused.

"Okay yes, her place needs a bit of spring clean, but that doesn't mean we should be the ones to do it," I said. "But if you want to stand there till you're blue in the face, trying to instruct Hiratsuka on proper home keeping techniques, then go ahead."

"It's more than just that," Yukino said with increasing exasperation. "I want to help her out of the rut she's in."

"No offence Yukino," I said bluntly. "But you should be more worried about the rut you're in before you start trying to pull other people out."

"I'm not meddling Hikigaya," Yukino stated angrily. "I'm trying to help someone."

"I think I've heard that from your sister," I said harshly.

"Don't compare me to her," said Yukino with an angry growl. "This is completely different."

"Really," I said. "Then why are you actually wanting to do this or are just looking for another to avoid dealing with your own problems?"

"No, it isn't, that's not, why," stammered Yukino, stumbling over her own words as she tried to express herself. "This will help me. By helping her, I think I can help me."

"I don't see how helping a wreck like Hiratsuka, is going to sort your life out," I said.

Yukino groaned in frustration. "Why do you always pick the worst times to be dense?"

"Because they're the times, you're being the most evasive and making the least sense," I snapped back.

"Okay," said Yukino, taking deep breaths to marshal her thoughts. "I feel that Hiratsuka has helped me a lot over the years and I've never been truly grateful."

"I don't think teachers expect much gratitude from their students," I said. "It kind of goes with the job."

"That doesn't make it right," snapped Yukino. "I've caused problems for her and I feel responsible for the way her life is now."

"I am quite sure Hiratsuka doesn't hold you responsible, so there's no need to feel guilty about it," I said firmly.

"Still I feel responsible," said Yukino. "Please Hikigaya, will you just let me do this."

"You can do what you want Yukino, it's not like you need my permission," I said. "I just think you should be focussing on things with your family, before bothering our crazy old teacher."

"I know," said Yukino quietly, her words becoming clumsy again. "But I feel if I can do this with Hiratsuka. Laying to rest my own guilt, then maybe I will feel strong enough to tackle my family." Yukino paused before adding with a small smile. "Also, I thought it'd be nice for you, me and Yui, to work together to help someone. You know, like old times."

"Nostalgia is a dangerous drug and I don't think this will help you as much as you hope," I said with a sigh. But as I rubbed my tired eyes I could see that Yukino was not going to take no for an answer. So, I gave her an exasperated, "but fine, I'll do it."

Yukino's smile broadened and she said, "thank you, Hikigaya."

"Though I'll warn you now, I don't think Hiratsuka will be receptive to the idea," I said. "She'll ask the same questions I did and worse."

"I know," said Yukino. "But I think I can convince her."

"If you say so, though I don't know what I personally can do for Hiratsuka," I said with a shrug. "I mean, what do you expect me to do, marry her?"

"Of course not!" exclaimed Yukino in a much higher voice than she intended. Before coughing and adding quickly, "I would never inflict you on the poor woman, she's suffered enough."

I rolled my eyes at how flustered Yukino was and stated, "Then what do you propose we do?"

Yukino sighed and admitted, "I don't know. I'm going to talk to Yui in the morning and see what she thinks and find out if she's up for it. I need to talk to her anyway, as I want her advice on a few things."

"Yeah, she would have been a big help today," I said.

"Not that you weren't," said Yukino quickly. Before adding quietly, "I really appreciate you listening to all my nonsense, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come today."

"Probably ended up lying drunk in a ditch somewhere with Hiratsuka," I said.

"Though you could still work a little on your empathy," Yukino said with a sigh.

"I am empathic," I proclaimed. "I can sense exactly when a woman is mad at me, grossed out by me and thinks I'm a piece of trash."

"Hikigaya, that's the default setting for all women in your presence, not empathy," said Yukino.

"And I thought you liked me," I said with a dramatic pout.

Yukino shook her head and sighed. "You know there have been many things that have caused me to question my sanity and I think that you, have to be the number one reason."

"So, you do like me?" I said with a grin.

"Oh, Heavens preserve me," said Yukino despairingly. Then she started to laugh and it was good sound after such a long day. I found myself laughing too and soon Homura joined in nervously, even if she didn't get the joke.

Not long after, we pulled up outside my apartment and I helped Homura out of the car, watching as she ran over to the front door. Yukino wound the window down and smiled as I said, "Thank you for driving us home."

"It's fine Hikigaya," Yukino said. "You know I was just using you as an excuse to get away."

"There was me thinking you did it purely out of the goodness of your own heart," I said touching my chest.

"Well I call it more altruism, than pure charity," said Yukino with a sleepy smile.

"Well regardless, thank you anyway," I said with a slight bow.

There was an awkward pause and started to turn, when Yukino said, "I'm happy to drive you two places if you want. Don't be afraid to ask and if I can, I'll come pick you up."

"Yeah, that'll be cool," I said vaguely and tried to walk away again.

"There are loads of places we could all go," said Yukino quickly. "It would be good for Homura to see more of the country."

"It would be," I said. Looking at Yukino as she tried to find something else to say and stretch this goodbye out a little longer. But I was more concerned about how tired she looked, swaying a little with her eyelids droop lower and lower. The day had no doubt exhausted her physically, but mentally it had been devastating and she looked like she could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. With a moment's consideration, I suggested, "do you want to come in for a bit and have a coffee?"

Yukino looked surprised and her cheeks flushed a little as she said, "if that's okay. I wouldn't want to be a bother or anything."

"I wouldn't have asked if it was and it'd be good for you to take a break from driving," I said casually.

"Well it is recommended to take regular breaks when driving at night," said Yukino with exaggerated formality.

"Precisely," I replied with an exasperated sigh. "So come in and relax for a bit."

"Of course," said Yukino quickly as she locked up the car. Her flustered state combining with fatigue to make her clumsy and it took a few attempts before she was satisfied with the car's security.

I was unlocking the front door when Yukino caught up unsteadily and Homura asked, "are you coming in Auntie Yuki?"

"Just for a little bit," Yukino said with a smile. Which stayed as she watched my daughter run inside with a little cheer.

Inside, Yukino sat awkwardly at one end sofa, her arms and legs held close as she glanced about the apartment. I fussed about, trying to get Homura ready for bed, a process hampered by my daughter constantly stopping to show various Pan-San related things to our new guest.

Yukino politely smiled at Homura every time, but the mixture of awkwardness and fatigue made her capable of little else. The only thing that really got her attention was when Homura came to wish her goodnight wearing her hooded cat pyjamas. Yukino spent a little too long stroking my daughter's head, fascinated by the ears sticking up on top of the hood. Eventually, I had to cut in and drag Homura to bed, leaving Yukino looking abashed when she realised what she'd been doing.

Once Homura was tucked in and I'd kissed her goodnight, I returned to the front to find Yukino looking at a photo in its frame. A glance told me it was a picture of Homura as a newborn baby, bundled up in new clothes and with her grumpy face peering out from under a white hat. But Yukino wasn't interested in Homura, instead, her finger was gently stroking the image of Kamakura, the family cat. Who was leaning over Homura, curiously sniffing her new baby smell, trying to establish what she was. I thought of making a comment, but as Yukino made a soft, "nyaa" sound, I decided to leave her alone.

Quietly I walked over to the kitchen and started brewing some coffee for Yukino and me, glorying in the smell of even the rather cheap, instant brand. While I waited, I plugged in my dead phone and turned it on, curious to see the pictures Homura took. They weren't bad, I was proud to say, though she had no idea about the zoom and many were taken at strange angles or of strange subjects.

As I looked various messages beeped in, with the first was a missed call from Iroha. Presuming it was just to say goodnight to our daughter, I sent a quick message back to explain the phone had died and that Homura was already asleep. Then added a photograph that Homura had taken of herself pulling up her nose and sticking her tongue out for good measure.

The other three messages were all from Yui, all roughly asking how things were going. While the text seemed friendly, the increasing number of emoji made it clear she was becoming increasingly worried. I sent a message back apologising for my lack of response and that we were at my place. I put the phone down to carry the coffees through, but almost instantly the phone rang with seemingly deafening loudness.

Hurriedly I swiped to answer without looking and was answered with a cry, "Woah that was quick Hikki." I'd been expecting it to be Iroha and hadn't even realised it was a video call from Yui until her startled face flickered on the screen. I was never a fan of speaking like this, but Yui always preferred to, even though it seemed she hadn't been quite ready.

Yui blushed a little as she pushed her hair behind an ear and peered closely at my face. "Wow you look knackered Hikki," Yui said. "How bad was it?"

"It was a rough day," I said, not really in the mood for any more long conversations.

How is Yukino, was it a nightmare, has she gone home or did you leave her there?" Asked Yui in a rapid barrage of questions. Her brow becoming increasing furrowed in worry, as she searched my face for answers.

"Yukino is…" I started and looked towards the sofa only to get a heart attack as I found my first glance empty.

Startled I stood on tiptoe to get a better look over the kitchen counter and with relief saw Yukino lying on her side. She had slumped sideways on the couch, with her head pillowed on the far armrest. With eyes closed, she slept with her legs curled up in front of her chest, which rose and fell in an unsteady rhythm.

"Yukino is… what?" said Yui sharply, her voice high with concern. "What's going on Hikki?"

I shushed her and turned the phone's front camera to show our sleeping friend. Yui made an 'aww,' sound and said sadly, "the wedding must have been rough on her."

"It was," I said with a weary sigh and gave Yui a brief rundown of what had happened. I left out the details of what Yukino had said because I wasn't sure what she would want Yui to know or what Yui already knew. But I could see Yui putting pieces together in her mind as the concern grew on her face, flickering slightly in the glow of the phone screen.

As I finished, Yui said, "it sounds like I'm going to be having a long talk with her about all this. Hear her side of things, especially on stuff she wouldn't feel comfortable discussing with you and maybe get a few facts straight."

"Facts straight, why would make any of this up?" I said defensively.

"Swooning, seriously," said Yui incredulously. "Trust me Hikki, you'll never make any girl swoon."

"I swear it happened," I said with a mischievous smile.

"Of course it did," replied Yui with a slow disbelieving nod. Irritated in my inability to convince anyone of this, I almost missed her add, "Though I never believed the day would hit her that heavily."

"Yukino has probably told you more about her family than me," I replied. "But dealing with them all day was tough, heck they were pushing my patience as well."

"Do you think there's any hope for them and Yukino?" Yui said.

"I don't know, maybe with her father," I said. "But it depends on what Yukino wants to do and to be honest, I don't think she knows yet."

Yui nodded in agreement. "You might have to push for an answer, though, otherwise she'll continue to dodge around all this."

"I wish you'd been there," I said with a sigh. "You'd have had a much better idea of how to help her then and there. I'm sure no one would have cared I'd you just turned up, there was easily enough room."

Yui gasped as she said, "Hikki, I can't just show up to a wedding, the last thing Yukino needed was a scene like that."

"However bad it was, Hiratsuka would have doubled it," I said with a grimace.

"Sounds like you had your hands full," Yui said with a laugh. Then she sighed and added, "No, I think Yukino needed you there more than me. You're able to give Yukino the harsh truth, whether she wants to hear it or not. I know I'm too soft on her and it's not like she ever listens to me anyway."

"I'm not sure she listens to me either," I said. "Yukino is obsessed now with helping Hiratsuka despite anything I say to talk her out of it."

"I'm not sure anything can be done for that mad old bat now," said Yui. "That and my manager at the bar would be livid if I took away one of our main sources of income."

"Still, Yukino is convinced that helping Hiratsuka out will somehow fix something within herself," I said with a shrug.

Yui looked unsure for a moment, but said, "Well if Yukino thinks it'll make things better, then I'll muck in. But yeah, I don't think it will help her as much as she thinks."

"This is why I needed you with us tonight, Yui," I said. "To back me up with this stuff and help me understand what goes on those crazy brains you girls have."

Yui laughed and blushed a little, but shook her head as she said, "no, it had to be you there for Yukino tonight, you know. I would have just made things even messier and stressed her out even more."

"If you say so," I said with a sigh. "I just wish I knew how to really give Yukino peace, rather than just floundering around until she decides what to do."

"I know what you mean," said Yui, giving me a fond smile. "But from what you've told me, I think Yukino may have finally made some progress. In one night, you may have helped her more than I ever did."

"If Yukino wakes up better tomorrow, I think it may have been the day that did it, rather than me," I said. "So, don't you dare start downplaying yourself, if Yukino doesn't need you, I will help sort out this mess."

"I just complicate things, Hikki," said Yui quietly. Then before I could counter she added, "look we've all had a long day and all this chat is pointless until Yukino decides what she wants to do. Will you make sure she's comfortable, because if one thing is for sure, your couch isn't."

"Yui…" I started.

But she just smiled and said, " Goodnight Hikki, it's time you went to bed too. "

With that, her face vanished and Yui ended the call. The now black screen reflecting the horrific sight of my tired, rotten eyes. With a heavy sigh, I put the phone down and went over to look over the sleeping Yukino, her face screwed up in some tormented dream. I gently slid a pillow under her head, with a ninja like skill that I had attained from years of doing the same to Homura. Then after spreading a blanket over her, I felt a strange impulse, though maybe it was just what a normal person would do, I wasn't sure.

I bent over Yukino and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead.

Yukino made a grumpy 'mewling' sound but didn't wake, a hand brushing the spot like a paw. But her faced relaxed a little and she seemed to rest a tad easier as I tucked the blanket around her for warmth. With a forlorn smile, I watched her as I dimmed the light and slipped into my bedroom.

Where despite my fatigue, I found I could only lay there on my bed in the dim orange glow of the street lights. Staring at the now familiar ceiling, lost in an unending whirlwind of thoughts that tore through my mind.

 _[Author's Note: Well that took far longer and ended up being far longer than I planned, but here it is. I admit I've gone bit off canon with regards to Yukino, her family and their history. When I originally thought up this chapter, I though Watari would have written chapter 12 of Oregairu by now and I would just have to course correct. But, as we all know that's not happened, so I went in my own direction and you're now free to tell me just how wrong I am in the review section._

 _Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter anyhow and have a fun festive season along with a genuine 2017._

 _\- Godric]_


	9. Chapter 9

**My After Story SNAFU**

 **Chapter 9**

It was disgusting, unbearable, like my worst childhood nightmare come true.

I could feel my skin crawling, as if my revulsion at this situation was actually trying to physically expel the grey business suit from my body. But there was no escaping this one harsh truth, I was now a corporate slave. As a cleaner, I had been able to lie, somehow convince myself that I wasn't part of the machine. That not being tied to a desk meant I was somehow above these peons, but now there was no way out.

Thanks to Yukinoshita Haruno's 'benevolence,' I had been fast-tracked faster than anyone could have imagined. Her smug satisfaction icing her tone as she informed me of my promotion, all under the pretext of 'looking after her sister.'

While I certainly appreciated the pay rise, it was about the only good thing to come out of this whole mess. Especially since what seemed like the whole company, had taken rather poorly to being usurped by the likes me. Showing their displeasure by dumping every menial task, every pointless bit of bureaucracy, every bit of business crap, directly on me. I gave the pile of paperwork that slid across the meeting room table a sour look, but as least it signalled that this battle between Yukinoshita Construction and the local government representatives was wrapping up.

Yukino herself, cut an intimidating figure at the head of the table, showing no trace of her inner fragility as she shook hands and bowed politely. Then with only the slightest of glances in my direction, she led the various suited figures from the room, leaving me to clear up.

Trying to organise the mountain of documents into a pile I could carry, I glowered at the clerk who shoved another bunch of files towards me with a sneer. But with the room emptying, I took the chance to catch a quick respite and reached out for one of the few remaining cookies set out for the meeting. A hand reached past me and took the one I was aiming for, making me look up at the familiar smiling face, that was trying not to laugh.

"I never thought I'd see the day when I'd see you working in a suit," said Iroha. "Actually, it kind of looks good on you."

I scowled at my ex-wife's mockery of an appreciative smile. "Is there something you want or are you just here for the cookies?"

Iroha giggled cutely as she bit into the treat. "These are Yukino's aren't they?" she commented before adding, "No I was just going to congratulate you on your promotion, though I suspect you aren't too happy about it."

"What gave you that impression?" I said bitterly.

"Maybe I should be congratulating Yukino instead," said Iroha thoughtfully. "For achieving something that I'd considered impossible, the sight of you as an office salaryman."

"Well in truth this foolishness is more Haruno's idea," I replied.

"Yes, it certainly is her style," Iroha said. "It's actually been nice not having to deal with Haruno now she's on maternity leave. That woman can be scary, though not half as terrifying as her mother. I don't envy you having to deal with that family, I never even considered that Yukino would be the nicer Yukinoshita to deal with."

"They're only a little less intimidating when you get to know them," I said.

"I bet Yukino is enjoying having you around though," said Iroha with a hint curtness. "Having her own personal pet about the place."

"We keep things purely professional," I snapped back bluntly.

"Oh, I'm sure you do," Iroha replied sarcastically. "It's not like her or either of you, to get up to anything remotely scandalous."

"No, it isn't," I said irritably. "Now is there anything else you want, apart from this childish gossip of course."

"Just to check that your parents are picking Homura up from school tonight," said Iroha after a moment's thought. "I don't want a repeat of the other day, our fathers almost came to blows."

"Don't worry I've already checked with them, they'll look after her till I get home," I replied with a sudden feeling of gloom.

Iroha must have picked up on it as she added, "I imagine it must be tough on you. Though I guess you understand now, how hard it is to see her briefly at the beginning and end of the day."

"Yeah," I said with a distant sigh. Though I felt Iroha's slight jab, she was right, it hadn't been easy and I just couldn't get used to it. I didn't resent my parents for the long hours they worked when Komachi and I were young, but I'd always sworn to myself that I would never be like that. Now I'd broken that promise and I felt like crap, even though I knew she was happy in the care of her grandparents or my sister.

"I'm surprised Yui hasn't been looking after her more," said Iroha with the kind of false casual tone that completely failed to mask her intent.

"She's been busy," I said flatly.

"Ahh, it's gone like that has it," said Iroha raising an eyebrow. "I was wondering how she would handle all this.

I frowned as my ex-wife waved a hand at the offices. Making take a menacing tone as I snapped, "stay out of this."

"Don't worry, I'm keeping well clear of that mess," Iroha replied. "Just don't get our daughter caught up in it."

"She won't," I snapped back, bringing my face close to Iroha's irritatingly smug expression. "As long as you don't come butting in and fucking up this situation any more than it already is."

She looked a little afraid now and stammered, "Hachiman wait..."

But I had no patience for her idle gossip mongering, I had too much work to do and even more things to worry about. Picking up the stack of files and heading for the door, ignoring Iroha's voice behind me.

Her prattle was cut short with a squeak as we walked into Yukino's mother and father discussing something in the corridor. Mrs Yukinoshita frowned at the pair of us and Iroha was caught in a trap of forced pleasantries while I made a quick getaway.

Knowing the family only made things slightly better for me, with Mrs Yukinoshita's disapproval only mellowing an infinitesimal amount. Yukino's father, on the other hand, was friendly to the point of being irritating, often stopping by to chat or just slapping me hard on the back. I was thankful to escape them this time and collapsed at my desk staring at the mountain of work in front of me.

It was nice to shut the world away for a while as I toiled, this was hardly anything strenuous, just typing notes up and organising the meeting's minutes. I was so zoned in, that only realised it was lunch time when my phone buzzed across the desk. It was a message from Yukino asking if I wanted to join her in her office for lunch. Stretching, I grabbed my pre-packed lunch and some paperwork that needed signing and headed over. Yukino's secretary giving me her usual scathing look as she glanced up from her phone, but I ignored her.

Dropping the papers on Yukino's desk, she only glanced at their presence before returning to the email she was typing. But her mind clearly wasn't on it, as her eyes kept flicking to the phone lying dormant next to the keyboard. Leaving Yukino to finish I turned to look out of the window at the wonder of the Chiba skyline. The vast urban metropolis stretching out before me with its skyscrapers, shopping malls and thousands of homes. My lofty perch at the top of the office building made me feel like a captain of some great airship, cruising high above the tiny streets below.

"Don't stand like that Hikigaya, you look like my father," said Yukino casually. I turned and watched her make a final dramatic click on her computer then lean back with a sigh. But she didn't relax, immediately picking up her phone and tapping the screen. Failing to find what she was looking for, Yukino tossed the phone back to the desk irritable clatter.

"No word from her?" I asked pointlessly.

Yukino shook her head. "Not really or if I do she just avoids anything but small talk."

"Well, she is busy and they probably aren't allowed their phones while working," I suggested half-heartedly.

"I know that, but you know that's not the reason," Yukino snapped. Then with a sigh asked, "have you been able to contact Hiratsuka. I still want to ask her something and she's not responding either."

I shook my head and said, "Not a word."

This wasn't strictly true, since I had received a reply from our former teacher's phone, though I was confident it wasn't written by Hiratsuka herself. The short message of, "Sorry Shizuka is rather busy right now," was simple enough. But there were far too many winking faces proceeding and following it, for me to feel entirely comfortable with the message's meaning. As such I had neglected to mention it to Yukino, there were some things I felt she was better off not knowing about.

Instead, I watched Yukino pull out a beautifully prepared lunch and begin picking at it with disinterest. I tried not to look enviously at the bento box on the desk, especially compared to the stale prepacked roll in my hand. I knew Yukino would have happily made me something mouth-wateringly delicious, but I'd been insistent on keeping up this formality. Grimacing as I tore into the bread and trying to think of something that would shake away the awkward silence.

"Did you send Yui the message I asked you to?" Yukino asked forlornly.

"Yes," I said with a drawn-out sigh. "But again, Yui only said she'd think about it."

Yukino looked down at her phone and tapped the screen again absent-mindedly. "Do you know how long you should wait before it's okay to send another message?" She said quietly. "I'm never sure what the correct social protocols are with these things."

"To hell if I know," I said with shrug. "That's a big a mystery to me as it is to you."

Yukino smiled a little. "How useless are we, unable to answer such a simple question about modern life," she said. "This is exactly the thing I'd ask Yui, but of course I can't."

She went back to poking at her rice and wished I could do something for her. The situation with Yui had steadily deteriorated over the month or so since Haruno's wedding, in a slow decent of increasing silence. There had been no arguments, just Yui avoiding us and giving insubstantial replies. We all knew why of course, the unspoken subject we all tried to dance around and ignore, but it still sat there, looming over us.

Yui it seemed had made her decision on her own and frankly, it worried me, while also pissing me off. We'd promised each other we'd talk about these things, but here we were again not talking to each other. I felt frustrated with myself for now being able to find a solution that wouldn't end up destroying everything. So I opted for stagnancy, which had only led to things slowly crumbling around me.

I tore at the roll irritably, trying to vent some of my anger into its bland filling, but it didn't help. I looked at Yukino who was listlessly flicking pages back and forth on her phone, she had taken Yui's silence hard. I'd thought her family would be the worst thing I'd have to deal with, but her sister was still enjoying her maternity leave and her mother was begrudgingly letting Yukino take control of the company.

Yukino was actually doing alright, at least on the surface, anyone who didn't know her would think she was the same cold aloof ice queen of old. But those that did know her, noticed how unsettled she was, constantly on edge and jumping every time her phone did anything. Normally Yukino had little care for mobile phones or technology in general, but at the moment she wouldn't leave it alone.

With some effort, she put the phone back down and pushed it away. Then with careful, precise movements put away her half-eaten lunch and began carefully arranging the items on her desk. Pens were carefully lined up and pencils were sharpened to equal length and placed neatly alongside a notepad.

Yukino looked at the untidy pile of paper I'd dumped on her desk and began to methodically sort them, arranging them perfectly on top of the other. I just let Yukino do her thing, silently watching as she came to a sheet with folded corner. Calmly she unfolded it, then squeezed the crease between forefinger and thumb to straighten it out. But as put the next piece of paper on top, the offending corner lifted up, upsetting the perfect order of the pile.

Most wouldn't have cared, but this disturbance troubled Yukino, making her pull the sheet to eye level and carefully try to straighten it again. But to no avail, leaving her to try again and again, until her hands began to shake in anger. Every attempt was now crumpling the paper more and more until with a thin cry of rage she suddenly crushed it into a ball.

Yukino kept on squeezing her hands together, over and over as her face contorted with anger. Tiny hoarse squeaks escaping her throat, until the offending sheet of paper was as small as a pink pong ball. She started to curl herself around the ball of paper, still trying to make it smaller as her breath shuddered. Gingerly, I stepped forward and tried to pull it out of her hands. When one of my fingers touched hers, Yukino suddenly exploded with a cry of, "don't touch me!"

The ball of paper was launched into the air as she threw an arm out to push me away. Where it sailed across the room, bouncing lightly off a glass business trophy, before rolling under thed desk to hide. Yukino continued to curl up, my hand now hovering over her, unsure of what to do.

"Please don't," mumbled Yukino repeatedly, looking at her hands as if they still held something. "I can't, this is why she won't talk to me, to you, why she's keeping away."

I pulled my hand back and sat in the chair opposite Yukino, trying to look at her face. "I don't think Yui is meaning to hurt you," I said gently.

"I know she's not," snapped Yukino. Before sighing as she added, "which only makes things worse. I just wish I could talk to her properly about all this, but Yui is always busy when I call and out if I go to her house."

"Maybe she really is just busy," I said with no real conviction.

"I want to believe that, but you know it's not true," replied Yukino, her sad eyes meeting mine. She flicked at her phone again before saying, "I know she'll be helping out at an event at the Community Centre on Saturday. So I've asked if it's okay if we drop by, but she hasn't responded."

"We?" I asked. "Are you sure Yui wouldn't be more responsive if it was just you?"

"No, it has to the three of us," said Yukino. "I mean, I can't force you to, but we need to talk about this whether we like it or not."

"Sure, I'll come," I said with a sigh. "I just wasn't sure if my presence would make things better or worse."

"Well normally your presence does make situation worse Hikigaya, but there are times when it is necessary," said Yukino as she forced a slight smile. "So yes, I would like you there and Homura too if that is possible. She may help you know, break the ice, if need be."

"I won't have her doing your dirty work," I said with a firmness that startled Yukino.

"No, of course not," replied Yukino nervously. "I just thought your daughter might cheer Yui up, that's all, she is very fond of your little girl."

"Fine, I'll bring her, but…" I started, but I was interrupted by the buzz of Yukino's phone.

Yukino snatched it up and tapped the screen, her relieved smile telling me it was a positive response from Yui. "She says it's fine," said Yukino with a sigh of relief and I nodded in understanding.

Though I thought I saw the edge of tears in Yukino's eyes until she took a deep breath and calmed herself. "Can you make sure you're at the Community Centre bright and early, please Hikigaya," said Yukino with a tone that sounded a lot more like my boss. "I would like to be able to help with setting up and hopefully it give us time to talk to her properly."

"I'll try," I said feeling a little relieved myself. "Though getting Homura anywhere early isn't always easy.

"That is quite alright," said Yukino simply. But this time, she was the one interrupted by her phone, looking at the screen and sighing dispiritedly. "Back to work, it seems," she added and answered the call. Her voice instantly switching to the formal tone of Yukinoshita Yukino, the corporate boss.

I gave her wave and walked out and back to my desk, to return to my role as Hikigaya Hachiman, corporate slave. But if any of my heart was in this work, it certainly wasn't now as I couldn't stop worrying about Yukino's plan. Cornering Yui might make things a whole lot worse, but unless I thought of a better solution, it was the only plan we had.

It was Saturday and it felt good to break free from the chains that held me to my desk throughout the week. Dusting off my hands after placing the last folding table, I looked across the chaotic Community Centre, to where my daughter was playing with some other kids. Smiling at the sound of her laughter as they made stories with the toys and foam shapes, that littered the play area that occupied one corner of the hall.

I saw Yui and Yukino frantically trying to bring perfect order to a cake display as they glanced at the clock, preparing for opening time. We hadn't had a chance to talk, either by choice or accident, all of us too occupied to do anything but give an awkward greeting. While Yukino had been swept up in organising everything, leaving me to be ordered around by the pair of them, as per usual.

Even once the place opened, we had barely a moment to pause in an effort to keep everything running smoothly. Yukino's natural authority making people treat her as the boss, even when she was meant to be only helping out. I wasn't sure if that had earnt her the ire of those actually in charge, but so far I'd not heard any complaints.

Finally catching a break, Yukino and I stood admiring our handy work, when a smiling face appeared in front of us. "Ahh I thought it was you two, Yui said you were coming," said the older woman. Suddenly pulling Yukino into a big hug and wheezing, "it's been far too long."

Yukino, who was flushed with embarrassment at the embrace. Managed to stammer, "Mrs Yuigahama, it's a pleasure to see you again."

"No need to be so formal dear," said Yui's mother with a laugh. But the laughter died as she rounded on me, narrowing her eyes with a menacing air that didn't match the amused smile on her lips. "Well if it isn't Hikigaya," she said dramatically, cracking her knuckles. "You know, I'm not sure if I should hug you or punch you."

"The former please," I replied, trying not to let my laugh sound nervous.

"Yes, I'm afraid it will have to be the former," said Yukino. "I'm sorry Mrs Yuigahama, but we do have to restrict rights to who gets to punch Hikigaya, otherwise he'd spend his life in hospital. Namely to myself, Yui, I suppose Hiratsuka since she's hit him a few times already."

"Hey, I'm not a punchbag." I cut in defensively.

But Yukino ignored me, counting on her fingers as she added, "I guess we should grudgingly allow Iroha and of course little Homura too."

Yui's mother was laughing as her eyes lit up at the sound of my daughter's name. "Oh, is your little girl here, Hikigaya?" She asked excitedly. "You've kept her from me for far too long." I automatically looked towards Yui, who was busy making something out of card with Homura and the other children. "I see Yui's already pinched her," added her mother fondly. "I guess I'll have to go snag your little girl for myself."

Before I could say anything, Yui's mother was already skipping off excitedly to greet her daughter and immediately fussing over mine. Homura looked confused and even a little scared at first, but once she twigged who the smiling woman was, she relaxed. Even so, my daughter still looked to me for a nod of approval, before submitting to Mrs Yuigahama's cheek pulling and hair mussing. I suspected Homura was going to spend the rest of the day being spoilt rotten again, she really had her mother's charm, though hers seemed to only effect doting old ladies at the moment.

Yukino handed me a plastic cup of coffee as we stood there, smiling as we watched the two Yuigahamas being mobbed by Homura and the other children. "It looks so right doesn't it," said Yukino fondly. Seeing Yui laughing as she was bowled over to the sound of childish squealing. "It seems almost cruel that she missed out on all that with her own daughter. Though I suppose there is still time..."

Yukino trailed off as she glanced at me, making my heart sink as the problem loomed between us three again. So I was glad when someone interrupted and asked Yukino about some issue relating to the Community Centre. Making her blink back to reality or at least a different one from our woes and we both lost ourselves in dealing with more immediate issues.

There wasn't much to do but help out where I could, Yukino was distracting herself by going over the Community Centre's finances in a corner with a gloomy air. While Yui was still looking after the children, though she looked distracted as well or maybe just tired by Homura's constant onslaught.

Yui's mother was taking a break on a nearby chair, staring at her phone with an air of utmost intensity. As I wandered closer, I saw how pale she looked, her eyes surreptitiously glancing at Yui. Raising her phone to take her picture, she muttered a curse as her hands violently shook. I glanced at the screen and saw a very blurry picture of Yui, that was replaced by another as Mrs Yuigahama started muttering to herself angrily.

"Are you okay Mrs Yuigahama," I asked tentatively. "Shall I get Yui?"

"No!" Said Mrs Yuigahama a little loud. She suddenly yanked me in front of her as she hissed desperately, "No, I can't have Yui see me like this."

"Is everything okay?" Enquired Yukino, appearing at my shoulder with clear concern.

"Don't crowd me, you'll make Yui worry," implored her mother. Before gathering herself and stammering, "just please Hikigaya, can you take a picture of Yui."

We turned to look at our friend simultaneously and I heard Yukino gasp, a hand going to her mouth to cover the squeak of distressed astonishment. I looked at Yui in confusion, trying to see what was causing so much commotion and then my breath caught as I saw it.

Yui was sitting on the floor next to a table strewn with the crude paintings by the local children. Homura stood behind her, leaning over her shoulder to talk excitedly to a slightly older girl sitting in Yui's lap. I didn't clock it at first, but then my daughter made them both laugh at once.

I pulled my eyes away from the near identical expressions and looked at the similar, but distraught face of Yui's mother. She looked suddenly very old as she held her phone out with shaking hands. "Please Hikigaya," Mrs Yuigahama whispered. "I just want one, just one photo, that's all."

I gently slid the phone from her hands, looking into her tear rimmed eyes. I felt zombified, slowly turning to face Yui, with my mind a million miles away. I called for their attention as I raised the phone, bringing their faces into focus on its screen. As my finger readied to tap the screen, a thought struck me. Did Yui know, had she realised who might be in her arms?

I mean there was no guarantee this girl was Yume, the baby Yui had given up for adoption years ago. But as I saw Yui smile I saw that she believed it, her features somehow portraying absolute happiness and extreme pain. Her smile strained to breaking point, as tears glittered on the edge of her eyes, her body swaying slightly in a state of shocked blissfulness.

I snapped several pictures, not wanting to risk such an important image not being perfect. I just had to hope Yui and her mother didn't mind that Homura and the girl were pulling silly faces in most of them. Once I'd finished, Homura dashed over and immediately wanted to see the photographs, giggling at her own gurning expression. As I automatically stroked my daughter's messy black hair, a thought crept into the back of my mind, 'where were the girl's adoptive parents?'

I began looking through the crowd milling around the centre's main hall, looking for a likely target. I had no idea what they looked like, but I knew the feeling of a parent looking for their child and looked for that. Sure enough, I saw a man with short dark hair, peering through the crowd with narrowed eyes. He spied the play area and immediately started pushing through the crowd with a determined expression.

The sight made my heart jump a little in panic and I looked back at Yui, who was still happily sitting with her daughter in her lap. It hurt to do it, but I had to separate them before the girl's adoptive father arrived. I didn't know if he would recognise the Yui after all these years, but it could get very bad for her if he did. But now I had to communicate Yui's danger, without drawing attention to her.

With a glance at the approaching father, I looked at Yui and narrowed my eyes. At first, she was confused by my glare, so I placed my hands on Homura's shoulders, then dramatically let go. This seemed to get the point across, but it only made my heart sink as Yui shrank back, shaking her head. Her eyes filling with tears as mouthed, "no" over and over, pulling the girl into a hug.

The girl in Yui's lap became increasingly alarmed at this and I snapped my head to check on the father's increasing progress through the throng. Turning back to my friend, my panic turned to anger, as this was no time to be fucking about in a dreamland. I focused this into my expression, eye twitching, voice growling as I said simply, " Yui, no." Taking a step forward, ready to pull the child from her if necessary.

Yui cowered as if I'd struck her, but still held firm, despite the girl starting to struggle. I took another step, raising my hand in readiness to grab the girl away. Yui made an anguished whimper, then closing her eyes to muster all the mental strength she needed to lift her daughter off her lap. Before the girl had even settled, Yui launched herself to her feet and shot forward with her head bowed. I staggered back as she shoved me aside and I watched stunned as Yui disappeared into the crowd, narrowly missing the father coming the other way.

Another sudden movement caught my eye as Yui's mother tore off on the trail of her daughter, leaving Yukino staring after her with a shocked expression. The girl who may or may not have been Yui's daughter looked confused and scared. Leaping up as her father arrived and hugging him with a cry of, "Daddy!"

The man seemed a little surprised at the tightness of the girl's embrace and looked about with concern, gently stroking his daughter's hair. Sensing something was amiss, he looked at me with suspicion, seeing me as a stranger looking awkward near his daughter. In turn, I tried to surreptitiously analyse him, trying to judge his worth and what kind of father he was. My first impression wasn't favourable, he was tall and tough looking, with flinty eyes that gave him the air of a yakuza. Feeling uncomfortable under his intense gaze, I tried to casually look at our reflections in the window instead. Only to sigh inwardly as I realised that I looked just a disreputable, if not more so.

"Daddy are we going now?" The girl asked.

"Yeah," he replied in a gruff, but friendly voice. "Come on, your mother's waiting outside."

"Can we get crepes on the way home?" The girl inquired, before adding in a long whine, "please."

The father sighed, helpless against the puppy dog eyes that were gazing at him. "Sure kiddo," he said with a smile, which broadened as she cheered and they both started to walk off. The girl glanced back at me with a puzzled expression, then looked about for the strange woman that had held her so tightly and they both faded away into the crowd.

Even though the place was noisy, it felt like there was a sphere of silence around me as I watched them go. I was feeling so stunned, that I barely felt Yukino as she pushed up against me. I looked down at her and saw a pair frightened eyes gazing back.

"What, what do we do?" Asked Yukino in a shaken voice as her thin hands squeezed my arm. "I don't... how do... what can we say to her?"

I wasn't sure what to say to Yukino either, I just smiled grimly until I felt a tug on my other sleeve. "What's going on," said Homura nervously. "Where did Auntie Yui go?"

I looked at my daughter, not having even the slightest idea how to explain. Feeling that they were both looking at me for assurance, I forced myself to sound assertive, even if I didn't feel it. "Let us," I said before pausing to steady my voice. "Let's just go see how she is."

We moved into the crowd in an awkward triangle, both Yukino and Homura clinging to me tightly. Only stopping for a moment to buy some drinks, we continued our trek, searching for the two Yuigahamas.

We found them on a bench in a small courtyard beneath the yellow leaves of a ginkgo tree. Yui was lying with her head on her mother's lap, spilling her heart out incoherently through her tears. Mrs Yuigahama murmured reassurances as played with her daughter's hair like she was still a child.

Yukino immediately relinquished her hold on my arm, falling behind me as I gingerly moved forwards. Holding two cups of tea out before me like peace offerings and trying to ignore the heat searing my fingertips, as I waited for them to react. Yui's mother looked up and smiled, though she usually looked young for her age, now her face was drawn and pale. Taking both cups, Mrs Yuigahama gently said, "Yui, your friends are here."

Yui stirred, as if from a trance and slowly sat up, her body moving limply like a puppet with loose strings. Taking the cup from her mother, she watched the dark liquid ripple inside for a moment, before taking a sip. There was silence between us as she drank, the hubbub from inside felt intrusively cheery and at odds with the atmosphere out here in the chilly courtyard.

"Thank you, Hikki," Yui said in a quiet voice. Still staring into her cup and watching the last vestiges of tea slowly swirl around the bottom. She tried to say something else, but her voice kept catching and produced only a hoarse sob. Eventually, Yui forced out, "and thank you, for stopping me."

"It's fine," I said casually, in a vague attempt at reassurance. Though truth be told I considered actions to be far from it, but I knew better that to kick someone when they were down.

"It is not, fine!" Yui snapped suddenly, crushing the plastic cup in her hand. Then she retreated again, terrified of her own outburst and stared blankly at the dribble of tea rolling over her fingers. "I almost took her," Yui stammered. "I was this close to just grabbing that poor little girl and rushing out the door. If you hadn't been there to stop me Hikki, I don't know what I might have..."

The plastic cup fell from hands and she looked at her fingers in horror, as if they were stained in blood rather than tea. Putting her head in her hands, Yui burst into tears, murmuring to herself over and over again. Her mother pulled her close as she said, "but you didn't, that's all that matters."

"No, it's not, Mom," said Yui, pushing her mother's arms away. "I must have rehearsed meeting her a thousand times in my head and I was always calm, always collected. But when it actually happened, I just completely lost it. I almost wrecked yet another family, all because I'm too dumb to do what's right."

"You haven't wrecked anything dear," said her mother firmly.

"Really Mother," exclaimed Yui. "What about you and Dad, that was my fault. What about Hikki and Iroha, I told myself that should have left him alone, but I didn't. I don't deserve to be even near Homura after what I've done."

Yui flinched as she looked my daughter, who peered out from behind Yukino's legs with fear. Yui sagged, bowing her head as she said quietly, "even before then. If I had kept my stupid nose out of the club, if I hadn't been so selfish, then I'm sure Hikki and Yukino would have... would have..."

Yui looked up at me and Yukino, her eyes begging forgiveness for crimes she hadn't committed. Before I could even formulate a reply, something rushed in front of me towards Yui.

In a mass of flowing black hair, Yukino wrapped her arms around her friend. Yui's shocked expression just visible as her face was pressed against Yukino's stomach, unable to move in the tight embrace. Though her own face was hidden, I heard the sound of tears in Yukino's voice as she said, "I never want you to believe that. I never want you to regret becoming part of the club, becoming our friend."

Yukino pulled back and brushed the side of Yui's face with her hand, making her look up. "Despite how things ended, you helped me with so much and without you, I don't..." Yukino gesticulated as she struggled to verbalise her emotions, I saw the strain on her face as she looked at me for aid. "Hikigaya," Yukino said desperately, "what would have happened if Yui hadn't been there?"

My brain struggled to find an answer under the glare of the spotlight, feeling all their eyes on me. "We would have probably ended up killing each other or something," I said with a feeble shrug.

Yukino sighed in defeat, clearly hoping for something more eloquent. She took a deep breath and pointed at me as she said formally, "first off Hikigaya, you would have never had a chance of 'killing' me. Secondly..." Yukino's finger waved uncertainly as her train of thought wavered, with another sigh, she looked back to Yui and added, "you see. This is the kind of foolishness that I would have had to deal with, on top of all the other problems I had back then."

"Not to mention you saving me from dealing with her bitchiness every day," I cut in. Jabbing a thumb at Yukino as I added, "believe me I'm thankful for that."

"Hikigaya, if you have nothing intelligent to say, keep quiet," snapped Yukino. "Now where was I?" She rubbed her temples before continuing as Yukino focussed her attention back on Yui. "Right, I simply refuse to believe these accusations that you place upon yourself Yui, especially when you're taking the blame for our faults. Neither of us blames you for how events turned out, do we, Hikigaya?"

I withered under Yukino's gaze which told me to at least put thought behind my answer. Regardless of how easy it would be to shift blame onto either Yui or Yukino, allowing myself the chance of relaxing in the comfort of nothing being my fault. Alas, I prided myself not being that much of an arsehole anymore, especially when my friend had just had one of the roughest days of her life.

"Yui," I said with a drawn-out sigh. "It should be clear by now that I am perfectly capable of wrecking my own life, so there's no need to claim responsibility for the mess I created." I glanced down at my daughter who was clinging to my leg, shaking slightly at all this raw adult emotion in the air. I would've like to get her out of here, but Yui was far too delicate right now and would have been hurt by such an action.

Yui looked at Homura and I could see her heart sink. "That doesn't change what I could have done, what I almost did to my own daughter," Yui said. "Imagine if I'd taken Homura away from you."

I tried not let the surge of panic at the idea show on my face as I started to say, "But you wouldn't..."

"Don't you dare be nice to me Hikki," Yui suddenly screamed. "I know that's not how you'd feel!"

There was a pause only filled with Yui's heavy breathing where I took a moment to gather my actual thoughts.

"No, you wouldn't Yui, because I would have stopped you," I said bluntly. "If I couldn't do it then and there, I would have chased you down, however far you went. Even if it meant involving the police, even if it meant wrestling you to the floor and pulling your daughter out of your arms, I would have stopped you."

Yukino started to interject, but I stopped her by adding, "then Yukino would have used her connections to make the law and any other issues, go away."

"Hikigaya, how can you suggest such things?" said Yukino aghast.

"You mean you wouldn't?" I replied, giving her a levelled look.

Yukino's words caught and it took a few attempts before she said, "of course I would. I was meaning treating Yui like a fugitive and hunting her down like that."

"It's okay Yukino," said Yui gently. "It's what I wanted to hear." She paused, trying to arrange her thoughts as she added," I needed to know that you two would stop me, no matter what it took. So, thank you, Hikki. Also, don't worry Yukino, I'd never ask you to protect me, I'd take whatever punishment I was due."

"That wasn't what I worried about at all," said Yukino as she became flustered. "I just don't like you thinking it'll ever go that far."

Yui smiled a little as she said, "I know Yukino and I thank you as well for believing in me."

"That goes without saying," said Yukino. "I just wish some here had a little more faith. I resent the implication that I or my family might indulge in such shady operations, Hikigaya."

"My apologies," I said without a great deal of sincerity. "Though you might want to talk to your sister about that."

Yukino might think herself above such things, but Haruno certainly didn't. As far as the elder Yukinoshita was considered, nothing was out of bounds if it secured the deal. At least that's what the rumours that forever rumbled around the company said and Haruno certainly never tried to quash them.

"Well my sister isn't in charge anymore," said Yukino. "So, if you hear of any more impropriety you'll inform me at once."

"Yes Boss," I replied quickly in the tone of Yakuza henchman.

Yukino groaned and turned to appeal to Yui, but she was looking down, her shoulders shaking in fits. Nervously, Yukino reached her hand out and Yui suddenly unleashed a snort of laughter. It turned into a gale of almost delirious giggles, that was actually rather unnerving, making Yukino and I look at each other with scared expressions.

I could hear quiet nervous laughs from Homura behind me, unsure of whether she was supposed to join in or stay quiet. Eventually, Yui calmed herself enough to say through heavy breaths, "I bet, you two, are like that, all day, at work."

"No, we're not," said Yukino.

While I almost simultaneously commented, "Yes she is."

This set Yui giggling again and it was only her mother, gently stroking the tangled mess of pink hair that soothed her. "You see Yui," Mrs Yuigahama said, "your friends are a mess without you, so no more of this talk."

Yui cuddled against her mother before sighing reluctantly as she said, "Yes Mom."

But Mrs Yuigahama wasn't content, pulling her daughter around and cupping her chin. Staring straight into Yui's eyes, her mother said, "For starters, I certainly don't want you blaming yourself for what happened between me and your father. He was the one that couldn't handle is daughter becoming pregnant and I was the one who hurled him out on his sorry butt. Your father was the one who chose to act like a complete idiot and I won't have you believing any of that filth he spouted!"

Mrs Yuigahama was getting really worked up now and the intensity of it made me jump, as her glare bore down on me. "Hikigaya," she demanded. "When the time comes for you to become a grandfather, promise me you'll support and respect your daughter regardless of what she does."

"Of course," I said with a nervous laugh. "But that's still a long time off."

"It'll come around sooner than you think," said Mrs Yuigahama with a sigh. "One day their biggest worry is what's for lunch at school and the next, well, we have all this."

The idea of Homura growing up and having adult troubles loomed over me like a monstrous shadow, sending a chill down my spine. "Don't worry Mrs Yuigahama," said Yukino. We'll keep Hikigaya on the straight and narrow, won't we Yui."

Yui took a long time to respond, eventually only answering with a vague, "yeah I suppose". She looked at Homura for a while and tried to smile, but it only made my daughter shrink back behind me. I tried to push Homura towards her, but Yui waved a hand stop me.

"It's alright Hikki," said Yui, "she has every right to be scared. I'm supposed to calm and reassuring at all times in front of the children, so I've pretty much broken all the rules in one go." Yui dabbed at red-rimmed eyes and sniffed, before adding, "Oh God, I'm such a mess."

She stood up and tried to straighten out her clothes, even though it seemed to be taking all her strength to move at all. Then with a light bow, Yui said, "I can't thank you, all of you enough, for today. But I've got to go home, my head is all over the place and I'm no good for anything right now."

Yui started to walk away, but her mother grabbed her hand. "No dear, please come home, to mine instead," said Mrs Yuigahama. She looked at Yukino and me before continuing, "Actually why don't you all come. You know, for dinner, it'll be nice to have people over, it seems like ages."

Yui's mother was stammering out reasons as she gazed imploringly at her daughter and then at us. Looking at Mrs Yuigahama's own face which had appeared to have aged five years in an hour, I realised just how hard this day must have been on her as well. Still, I wasn't sure about it, being there with Homura almost felt like I was rubbing it and my daughter was clearly unnerved by today's events.

Yukino was looking anxiously at her friend, Yui eyes were vacant and gave no indication whether she liked the idea or not. "I suppose we could come over for a little while," Yukino said tentatively. Her eyes jumping between Yui and I nervously as she added, "it would be nice to spend more time together, wouldn't it Yui?"

Yui's mind was still clearly elsewhere and she only managed a vague, "yeah that'd be nice," before returning to her thoughts.

Yukino took that as best ascension she was going to get and tried to sound assertive as she said, "Okay. I'll go and bring my car to the front of the Centre, if you can meet me there." Yukino gently caressed Yui's shoulder, then briskly walked away, though checking back every few steps.

Yui started to slowly follow Yukino, with Mrs Yuigahama quickly moving to support her, whispering words of encouragement as they went. I looked down at my own daughter who looked back and asked, "are we going home now?"

"No, we're just going to your Auntie Yui's mother's for some dinner," I replied gently. Homura didn't look over impressed, so I added, "just for a short while, so I'll need you to be good, alright."

Homura nodded reluctantly and asked quietly, "What's wrong with Auntie Yui?"

I took a deep breath, unsure of how to answer my daughter. I wasn't sure what she'd understand or what Yui would like her or anyone else to know. While Homura wasn't too prone to gossiping, she could innocently let slip something to her mother or a friend at school, that could easily spread. Eventually, I just said, "Auntie Yui's just had a rough day, so I need you to be brave and not worry too much. It'll only make her more upset if she sees that you are."

I gave my daughter a reassuring smile and ruffled her hair, but Homura only sighed as she said, "Okay."

I took her hand, then quickly caught up with Yui and her mother. Yui was swaying slightly as she waited by the kerb for Yukino's car. As I approached, she leant towards me and I put my hand out to gently steady her. As my fingers brushed the side of her upper arm, Yui suddenly snapped away nearly knocking over her mother.

"No!" cried Yui in alarm. Then apologetically she added, "Sorry Hikki, I can't have, not today."

My confused reply was lost, as Yui looked towards the approaching car and hopped out to make for the rear door on the far side. Yukino slammed on the brakes as Yui placed her hand on the hood and swung clear, climbing inside before anyone could say anything.

Yui's mother anxiously watched her daughter, before opening the nearer rear door and helping Homura inside. Once I was sure my daughter was secured. I sat down in the front passenger seat, where Yukino gave me an enquiring look. But I didn't answer her and with a face filled with concern, Yukino drove away in the direction of Mrs Yuigahama's home.

We were greeted at the apartment door by the sound of over excited barking, which sent a small chill up my spine. But as the door opened, I saw that the dog that leapt happily up at Yui wasn't Sable, but a black and brown dachshund that just as noisy. Yui picked it up hugged the squirming little beast, carrying him inside as Homura tried to pet his glossy fur.

I glanced at Yukino as we went in, she gave me a forced smile, but whether that because of Yui or the dog I wasn't sure. But she visibly flinched as the dog started barking again when Yui gently lowered it to the floor, where Homura pounced on it in a welcoming torrent of giggles. With a faint smile, Yui watched them chase each other, before slowly moving further down the corridor. About half way up she seemed to remember something and said, "I'm just going to have a shower and freshen up, I won't be long." Yui's voice still sounded very distant, her mind still galaxies away as her body moved on autopilot towards the bathroom.

As Yui disappeared from view, Yukino looked anxiously after her friend, dithering as she rocked on her toes. After a short while, we heard the faint roar of the shower and vaguely pointing in the direction of the sound Yukino stammered, "I'm just going to go check on her." She quickly kicked off her shoes and a few moments later I heard Yukino apologising as she entered the bathroom. Part of me wanted to check everything was okay too, even though I knew it was an extremely bad idea to join them.

"She'll be alright Hikigaya," Mrs Yuigahama said tenderly, snapping me out of my thoughts with a jolt. I looked to where she having a last second tidy up, arranging cushions and putting away magazines in a distracted fashion. She paused and looked at the direction of the bathroom with a smile adding, "together we can get her through this. Now can you pop in the kitchen and give me hand chopping the vegetables, frankly you look like you could use the distraction yourself, dear."

It was a welcome one, to be honest, and I methodically started cutting up some onions, trying to lose myself in the task. But it wasn't working, my ears kept trying to listen to their faint conversation and my mind was buzzing as it searched for solutions. But there wasn't any, certainly nothing that would magically turn Yui back into the cheerful, upbeat girl she'd once been. Though I wondered when she'd last been like that, was there anything that'd bring a real smile back to her face.

My presence probably wasn't helping much either, bringing with it the ghosts of our shared past that refused to be exorcised. While I understood Mrs Yuigahama's desire for company, it would probably be best if my daughter and me, only stayed as long as it was polite. Relying on Yukino and Mrs Yuigahama to help Yui through this. It was just frustrating to be so useless and that just made the whole situation feel so hopeless.

"The onions getting to you dear," said Mrs Yuigahama suddenly, nearly causing me to lose a finger. She peered over my shoulder and added, "though I think you can stopping chopping them now."

I looked down and sighed as realised the onion had been utterly pulverised, I thought about throwing it away but Yui's mother refused. She tipped into the pot and gave me some more vegetables to cut up, before fiddling with the rice cooker. She too seemed to be attempting to lose herself, the simple act of cooking keeping us distracted from reality.

There was a series of barks followed by excited shouts, as Homura and the dog ran past the kitchen door. The sound of something being bumped into made me call out, "Homura be careful."

I apologised to Mrs Yuigahama, but she just chuckled to herself and said, "It's fine Hikigaya, this house is too quiet these days anyway." After giving the pot a stir, she looked out to where my daughter was playing before adding, "You've got an adorable little girl there, you must be very proud."

"Oh I am," I said. "But don't let appearances deceive you, Homura can be a terror when it's just me and her."

Mrs Yuigahama chuckled, "aren't they all. Yui used to be a nightmare even at that age, always getting dragged into mischief by the other kids." She paused as she added some meat to the pot, before continuing with a sigh, "I was so glad to see my little girl find herself, once she met you and Yukino."

"Are sure that was such a good thing, it certainly wasn't a happy time for her?" I said regretfully.

"Maybe not at the end," said Yui's mother. "But she was certainly a lot more confident and passionate when she'd come home from school after joining your little club."

"I think that was more Yukino's influence than mine," I pointed out.

"Don't downplay yourself," Mrs Yuigahama scolded. "By the time Yui finished school, she was a far cry from the poor girl who came home in hysterics after that accident with you and Sable. That day I thought you had died, the way she kept going on, so I was rather relieved when I found out you were only injured. Though did I ever thank you for saving Sable, he was a real rascal, but was very precious to me and Yui?"

"I'm not sure, but don't worry about it," I said with a casual shrug as I ignored the bolt of remembered pain that shot up my leg.

"Well if it makes it any better," said Yui's mother with a smile filled with reminiscence. "Sable lived a great many dog years, till he was old and grey, before passing peacefully in his sleep."

"Well, I hope he appreciated it after all the trouble he caused," I said with a light chuckle. "I just hope this new dog has a better lead."

"Oh don't you worry, that one has the best lead I could find," said Mrs Yuigahama. "Not that he isn't just as much trouble." As if on cue the dog ambled into the kitchen, looked at his empty food bowl and then at us with a pathetically pleading expression. Yui's mother gave a sigh and said, "looks like it's time for his dinner too."

"I want to feed him," declared Homura as she bounded into the kitchen. Immediately grabbing the huge bag of dried dog food and hauling it over to the bowl. I tried to stop her as pellets of food spilt out of the hole in the bag, but my daughter had already tipped it over the bowl, heavily overfilling it. The dog immediately plunged his face into the dish, sending more food onto the floor and made Homura giggle as he excitedly tried to eat more food than his mouth could take. I apologised as I hurriedly tried to clean up the mess and lift the bag of dog food back to its corner, but Mrs Yuigahama just laughed, clearly enjoying the little show.

This cheerful moment was broken as a sudden shout echoed from down the hall, making everyone look up, even the dog. Though indistinct, Yui's voice grew loud for a moment as she crossed from bathroom to bedroom, her angry tone punctuated by the banging of the doors. She was immediately followed by the high pitched sound of Yukino's apologies crossing the hallway, the bedroom door opening and closing much more quietly.

I returned Mrs Yuigahama's worried smile, wondering whether I should go and intervene. "They'll be alright," said Yui's mother tenderly. "Yui's going to lash out in the state she's in and I'm sure Yukino understands that." She gave a tired sigh and added, "I'm so glad you two are here, I don't know how I would have coped."

I looked in the direction of the sound with imagined X-ray vision, unsure if Yukino really would be okay being Yui's emotional punching bag. Yukino was a lot more delicate these days and I worried that their strained relationship would snap under this tension. I would just have to hope that I could take some of the flack coming from Yui before Yukino buckled.

But my depressing ruminations were interrupted by a buzz from my pocket, pulling out the phone I was confused for a moment by the bright pink casing. Realising I still had Mrs Yuigahama's phone, I immediately handed it to her where she took it with an equally confused look. Pretty much ignoring the notification that had come in, she went to the photo gallery and looked through the photos with a soft smile.

I leant in to see the photo and asked, "are you really sure it's her, I mean there must be plenty of little girls that look kind of like that?"

"She looks just like Yui at that age," said her mother with a heavy heart. "Believe me, this would be so much easier if I was sure she wasn't." Mrs Yuigahama tried to zoom in on the little girl's face but was struggling with the small phone screen and her ageing fingers. Clicking her tongue with irritation she asked, "Hikigaya do you mind looking in the dresser for my printer. Yui's father left it here and I can never get it working properly, so it usually just sits there collecting dust. But if you could be dear and get it set up, I would love to get these printed off and in a frame."

After a bit of searching, I found the old contraption and set about getting it working. With some fiddling, failures and a couple of muttered curses, it rattled into life as it ever so slowly printed the photos. As I looked at the resulting picture, Mrs Yuigahama and Homura emerged from the kitchen with various dishes ready for dinner. Yui's mother looked at the photo thoughtfully, then reached into the dresser and pulled out a thick photo album. Placing it on the table along with a few framed photographs from around the room.

While this was happening, the others came into the room, Yui looking a tad more refreshed in an old tracksuit that was slightly too small. There was a definite sense of tension between Yui and Yukino, but it broke a little as they peered curiously at us. Mrs Yuigahama narrating Yui's early life as she looked through the album with me and Homura.

"Look, she's got no clothes on," said Homura with a giggle. Looking at a picture of Yui as a toddler, happily sitting naked in the middle of a paddling pool.

"Oh my god Mom, what are you showing him!" cried Yui. Rushing over to place her hands over the pictures in a pointless attempt of censorship. As a father of a little girl, such things didn't make me so much as bat an eyelid and I gave Yui a look that conveyed that. She was still unimpressed and rapidly turned to the next page which showed her messily attempting to eat an ice cream.

The wind from the turning page made the new photos of Yui and her presumed daughter skip across the table, drawing her attention. Yui picked them up and quietly looked through the pictures, a fond smile on her lips. Mrs Yuigahama pulled the album over and began flicking through the pages, the images of Yui rapidly growing up as she went. Eventually with a small cry of triumph Yui's mother found a picture of her and her daughter apparently on holiday by the background. Yui looked about nine or ten and was sitting on a white wooden seat of a ferry along with her mother, both laughing with the joy of summer.

Mrs Yuigahama turned the album towards me and placed one of the new photos next to it, tapping her finger as she said, "what do you think?"

I had to admit the resemblance was remarkable, there were some differences of course like the hair and slightly larger nose. But a casual observer could easily believe that the two girls were one and the same, either that or Yui had somehow become embroiled in some top secret cloning programme.

Yukino came around to look over my shoulder, studying the pictures intently and I looked to her to see what she thought. She looked up at her friend, who was lost in the world of the photograph in her hand. Features wrinkled with concern, Yukino said cautiously, "I won't deny there's a strong resemblance, but…" Lost for words Yukino, searched about for the correct phrasing and looked back to me.

I looked at Yui and considered whether it was good for her to believe that the girl was her daughter. Regardless of the truth, I wondered which option would provide her with the most comfort and what would be the best for her in the long run. After some consideration, I said, "I think we'd all like to believe it was Yume, but realistically well, there's no way to prove it without tests and those aren't happening."

There was a pause as we waited for Yui to react and I began to wonder whether she'd even heard us. But she eventually came out of her trance, blinking as she looked away from the photo and at our worried faces. "I know Hikki," Yui said sadly. "It just so felt right that's all. But you're right, I can't be sure and it's not like this is the first time this kind of thing has happened." Her voice was very quiet as Yui looked at her mother, who gave her a small and worried smile.

Yui was distracted by a tugging on her sleeve and looked down at Homura with a little surprise. "What's wrong, Auntie Yui?" My daughter asked with concern, looking at Yui's watery eyes. "I'm sorry for making faces in your pictures."

Yui looked confused for a second, glancing back the photograph where Homura and the girl who may have been Yume were sticking their tongues out. Then realisation clicked and Yui started waving her hands in denial as she said, "No, that's not it all sweetie. It's fine, if anything it's great, you know, it's fun." Yui stuck her own tongue out and pulled a face in an attempt to assure my daughter, but it had no effect. Yui's swollen eyes made the expression look grotesque rather than humorous and only made Homura even more uncertain.

Realising this, Yui shook her head and wiped at her eyes. "That's enough of that, let's sit down and have some dinner, I don't know about you but I'm starving." Yui was trying to put some levity in her voice as she went about organising places at the table, mumbling to herself while placing various bowls. Yui motioned to a seat and said, "Homura, if you sit here, then Daddy can sit next to you and Yukino, you go next to him."

Homura plonked herself down and I was just about to sit when Yukino said awkwardly. "No Yui, you should sit next to Hikigaya."

The room seemed to freeze as tension crackled in the air and my heart sank. Yui opened her mouth to counter Yukino, but I cut in. Motioning to the other end of the table as I said, "Actually I'll sit here. Homura, you shuffle up next to me and Mrs Yuigahama, if you'd kindly sit here then we're done."

Homura was confused but obeyed as she moved next to me. Yui's mother looked equally unsure for a moment, then seeing the awkward way her daughter and Yukino were looking at each other, silently agreed. Yui watched her mother sit then with a slight sigh sat down, with Yukino quickly following.

The meal was held in an awkward silence that seemed to fill the room, even the dog was quiet as it sat watching us eat with hungry eyes. The stillness got to Mrs Yuigahama first, as looked across to my daughter and asked, "are you enjoying school, Homura dear?"

Homura was unsettled by the tension in the air and the vast number of issues that she couldn't hope to understand, not that I grasped them much better. Feeling the pressure, my daughter eventually said, "It's okay, I guess." There was another long pause until Homura added quietly, "kanji is really hard."

Mrs Yuigahama smiled as she patted my daughter's hand. "Don't worry dear, Yui struggled with it for years."

"Still does," I added with a smirk.

"Hey, my jobs don't exactly require good literacy," snapped Yui grumpily. "So I'm a bit out of practice."

"You're one to talk Hikigaya," said Yukino. "Some of the reports you've handed to me have been utterly appalling."

"Well, I'm out a practice too," I replied defensively.

"Clearly," said Yukino, "though I still don't consider that a good excuse. You're going to have to seriously shape up if you're going to be on my staff permanently."

"Yes Boss," I said sarcastically.

"Stop that," snapped Yukino.

There was a moment of quiet as Yukino glared at me, until Yui said quietly, "how are things at work?"

"Alright," I said quickly with shrug.

Quickly followed by Yukino, rubbing her temple as she said, "tiring."

"Still, it must be nice to work together," said Yui tentatively. "Especially now your sister's has gone."

"Sometimes it feels I've just exchanged one bunch of troubles for another," said Yukino stiffly as she tried to keep the conversation professional. "I still have Mother and Father constantly bothering me, though they are thankfully often away visiting the newest member of the family."

Perhaps sensing the awkward tone of our conversation or maybe just excited about anything related to babies. Mrs Yuigahama said enthusiastically, "Yes, Yui mentioned that your sister had had her baby, what are they like, was it a boy or girl?"

Yukino looked a little taken aback by the excitement in Yui's mother's voice. Yukino stammered, "It's a boy and apparently in perfect health, if rather noisy."

Both Yui's and her mother's eyes seemed to light up at the news and Yukino was starting to look a little scared as they leant in closely. "Why didn't you say," said Yui. "Have you gone to see him, did you take any photos?"

"Yes, I went with Mother and Father as soon as we heard the news," said Yukino uncomfortably. "Everyone insisted that I had to come too, though I was clear I was fine with waiting till everything was settled. Sorry, I didn't take any photos though," Yukino paused as she fished out her phone and typed something into it. She then continued with, "I'll just ask my sister to send me one, so you can see."

Yukino's phone buzzed almost straight away, followed by several more as a series of pictures came in. Nervously she turned it around so that the Yuigahamas could see and both women started cooing incessantly. I wasn't that fussed, the grumpy face of the newborn boy was nowhere near as cute as Homura had been and I just let them get on with it. I was putting a hand up to stop my daughter from climbing on the table to see, when my own phone vibrated in my pocket.

Confused, I pulled it out and groaned inwardly as I saw it was a message from Haruno. The message read, "I'm sure my little sister will somehow neglect to show you these, Hikigaya. So I'm sending them to you instead, isn't Yuki just adorable." Along with the series of mischievous looking emoticons were two pictures, that brought a smile to even my dour face. The first was Yukino holding her nephew with a rather strained smile. Clearly trying to hold him correctly whilst also keeping him as far away as possible, like a bomb that might suddenly go off. The second image was Yukino peering at her nephew in his cot with utterly fascinated expression, her forefinger gently stroking the messy crown of hair on the baby's head.

Homura curiously pushed her head under my arm and giggled at Yukino's expression. The sound made the others look over with a mixture of puzzled and concerned faces, so I turned the phone to show them. The Yuigahamas smiled at the photos and looked at Yukino, who blushed with embarrassment.

"See babies aren't so bad," said Yui, giving her friend a fond smile.

"It's not that," said Yukino defensively. "His hair was so soft, it was like a kitt..." She cut herself off in embarrassment, hanging her head in shame.

I sighed and shook my head, while Yui chuckled, pulling Yukino into a hug. "Oh Yukino, only you would do that," Yui said. "Though I'm glad you went to see your nephew, I'd hate for you to keep a distance just because of your sister." She paused for a moment before tentatively adding, "are your parents enjoying having a grandson?"

"In their way," said Yukino with a sigh. "Father has already brought him more toys than he'll ever need and is really looking forward to playing sports with him. Mother, on the other hand, has already started trying to teach him maths as part of her 'grand plan,' he can barely comprehend that he has fingers let alone how to count them."

"I thought you would like the idea of teaching him yourself," suggested Yui. "Once he's older of course."

"I don't think I have the patience for teaching," said Yukino. "Work can feel enough like a schoolhouse without teaching anyone else."

"Are you sure, what about at least tutoring Homura?" said Yui. "You know I'd be useless at teaching her kanji."

Yukino still didn't look keen, so I quickly said, "Hiratsuka offered to tutor Homura if she ever needed it. Though I'm not sure the offer still stands, she said just to ask, so don't worry."

Her look changed to concern as Yukino replied, "just so you're aware that Hiratsuka's tutoring methods can be slightly, unorthodox."

"Don't worry, I remember them well," I said rubbing my stomach with a grimace.

"I wasn't meaning that, that's just the standard protocol for teaching the likes of you, Hikigaya," said Yukino. She took a deep breath before adding, "In her younger days, our dear former teacher believed deeply in broadening our horizons. Often tutoring my sister and I on subjects that she hadn't been employed to educate us in. Let's just say Mother was somewhat less than impressed when my sister suddenly developed a passion for rock music and more specifically, playing the drums."

"Is that how you learned to play the guitar?" asked Yui.

"Indeed, though I was still very young so I only learned the very basics," said Yukino humbly. "Of course, Mother soon put a stop to all that. Which was a shame, because behind that drum kit was one of the few times Haruno would really let her true self show."

Yui looked with concern at Yukino's almost wistful expression. Trying to lighten the mood Yui said, "I bet Homura would love to play the drums, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah," cried Homura excitedly. Immediately tapping her chopsticks on the table and making the appropriate sound effects.

I glared at my daughter and snatched the chopsticks away. "If Homura wants to take up the drums or anything musical that's fine," I said. "As long as the instruments stay at Iroha's, where Homura can make all the noise she wants."

"I forgot that Hikki can be just as big a party pooper as your mom, Yukino," said Yui. Sporting a pout that almost matched my daughter's.

"Please don't compare Hikigaya with my mother," said Yukino. "It's one of the few times where he comes out better and it's somewhat unsettling."

"Yes Yui," said Mrs Yuigahama. "Please don't compare anyone to that frightful woman. No offense Yukino dear, but your mother is well." She paused searching for the right word, "Well I can't say what I think with Hikigaya's little girl here, but let's just say it isn't polite."

"Is she a bum head?" said Homura with a cheeky grin that was trying to look innocent.

My reprimands were drowned out by the sound of Yui and her mother howling with laughter. While Yukino choked on her drink and needed Yui to smack her on the back until everything grew calm again.

"No offence taken, I assure you," said Yukino, wiping her eyes. "My mother still hasn't forgotten the things you said to her at graduation, Mrs Yuigahama. I don't think I've ever seen her look as affronted as she did that day."

While Yui and I looked at each other with puzzled expressions. Mrs Yuigahama said proudly, "And I'll happily do it again, that woman needs to be taken down a peg more often."

"Indeed," said Yukino with amusement. "Though if you don't mind, can we take a break, I find just talking about her can be so tiring."

Slowly Yukino stood and surveyed the remains of dinner, with a warm if tired smile she said, "thank you for the lovely dinner Mrs Yuigahama. If you don't mind, I'll take care of the washing up, it's the least I can do."

As Yukino picked up some bowls and started walking towards the kitchen, Yui suddenly said emphatically, "no Yukino you're a guest here. You and Hikki relax, while I clean up, it's fine."

"Seriously I don't mind at all," Yukino said, her shoulders slumping a little. "Hikigaya helped cook and you've had well, a rather tumultuous day. I've not really done anything to help today, so please let me do this." She gave Yui a friendly smile as she added, "you and Hikigaya should be the ones to relax."

"No Yukino," said Yui forcefully. "You sit down with Hikki, I'll deal with all that."

Yukino stiffened and the bowls in her hands started to rattle. "Please, just let me do this," she said. "You stay right where you are with Hikigaya."

I was just about to chime in that I would just go and fucking do it, before Yui finished winding up for a harsher response. But just as she opened her mouth angrily, Yui suddenly sagged forlornly. Instead asking quietly, "is this going to keep on happening?"

There was silence again as Yukino and I both struggled to think of something to say. Till Yui added almost angrily, "are we just going to keep on avoiding this again and again?"

Yukino glanced about the room looking for a way out. "I really don't think now is the best time for you, not after today," she said nervously.

"Well, when is there going to be a good time," Yui said with a shrug. Before turning to me and asking, "can you think of one Hikki?"

I certainly didn't have a better answer, but as I looked my daughter's worried face, I knew I didn't want to have this argument in front of her. It was so tempting to use Homura as an excuse to bail, running out the door like a coward and never coming back. But before I could say anything, Yui's mother leant in with a knowing smile and interrupted. Making me hope that she would offer us a solution or at the very least an escape route.

Instead, she said, "Hikigaya, it's probably about time I took the dog for a walk and if it's okay I'd love to take Homura with me. We could drop by the park and she could play for a bit, work off some of that energy." Before I could think of an excuse, Mrs Yuigahama turned my daughter and said to her, "you'd like that wouldn't you dear?"

Homura didn't seem to comprehend the question for a moment, then latched on to the idea enthusiastically. Bouncing up and down as she asked repeatedly, "can I, can I?" Making the dog bark with equal excitement.

Unable to refuse I said with a sigh, "Okay, but be careful..." I stopped myself before saying, 'when crossing the roads.' Correcting it to, "and be good for Mrs Yuigahama."

I glanced at Yui, worried she caught my slip and the tightening of her lips made me think she had. But dodged any comment by focusing on getting my daughter ready to go out, a task made challenging by her excitement. But all too soon Mrs Yuigahama, Homura and the yapping dog were off down the street, leaving me to wave at them reluctantly.

I turned back to face my friends, all of us standing quietly as we waited for the other to say something. Looking at the dirty dishes still sitting on the table, I said, "let us all get those cleaned up, together, then we'll talk."

We operated in near silence, with only quiet requests and thank yous, joining the chink of ceramics. Though the kitchen was cramped, I washed, Yukino dried and Yui put away. We weren't quite a well-oiled machine though, especially after Yukino took over the washing when she was apparently unsatisfied with my work. But all too soon everything was done and we wandered back into the front room like uncertain sheep. Yukino looking at the clutter like she wanted to clean it to delay us some more, but aware of how rude that would be.

Instead, Yukino sat down and absent-mindedly flicked through the photo album, smiling as little at Yui's early years. Yui herself sat next to her but was looking down, deep in concentration as she presumably tried to figure out what she was going to say. Not that I had any clue of what to say to them, at least nothing constructive anyway. Closing the album, Yukino watched her friend for a moment with a look of concern. "Yui, are sure you want to talk about this," Yukino said softly as she placed a hand on Yui's shoulder.

Yui reached up to place her hand on Yukino's. "We kind of have to, don't we," said Yui. "Didn't you say the other day that you wanted to?"

"Yes, but that was before today happened," replied Yukino. "We should be really talking about that."

"It's fine," said Yui in an attempt at nonchalance.

"Fine, how can it be fine," pleaded Yukino. "You just met your daughter for the briefest of moments, I know you well enough to see that there is no possibility of you being fine!"

Yui's blank smile flickered as she tried to hold her emotions back. "I don't know how I feel, to be honest," said Yui, her voice cracking a little. "Anyway, you and Hikki were right earlier, she may have just been some poor random child that almost got caught up in my craziness."

"I don't like hearing you call yourself that, regardless of what the truth may be," Yukino said, glancing at me. "You've been so distant over the past few weeks and I've been really worried about you, we both have."

"Sorry," started Yui, before falling silent for a moment. Then taking a deep breath she continued, "it was Yume's birthday a few weeks ago and well, I always get the blues…"

"My God Yui!" Exclaimed Yukino as I winced through my teeth. "Why in the hell didn't you say so?"

"Well you were so stressed out over your sister's wedding and her baby, that I didn't want to add my woes to all that," said Yui. "Anyway I'm like this every year and if anything I thought I was handling it better this time, well until today."

Yui sighed and sagged, leaving Yukino to say, "but that just makes me worry more."

"I know," said Yui forlornly. "I just thought Hikki would be able to look after you, especially since you're working together more closely. I mean, it's better for you to be relying on him now and not me, it's only natural."

"I assure you we keep things purely professional, don't we Hikigaya?" Said Yukino firmly. I simply nodded back as I frankly wished I could anywhere but here. Yukino was trying to stay formal, but her voice was cracking as she continued, "frankly after that mess in Accounting, I'd gladly ban all office romances if I could."

I groaned at the thought, the complex Web of romances, infatuations and affairs had pretty much consumed an entire department. At the centre of it all was Haruno, saying the wrong word in the right ear and gleefully watching the drama ensue. It had all come crashing down once she'd left of course and the fallout had been immensely irritating.

"I'd also ban my sister from sticking her nose in everyone else's love lives, especially mine," said Yukino, starting to break into a rant. "As much as I appreciate Hikigaya's assistance, I would have rather our work lives be separate, but as always thanks to my meddling sister I can't." Yukino stopped for a moment to calm herself, before adding more tenderly to Yui, "especially since all it's done is drive you away."

"It hasn't driven me away, I was just giving you guys some space," replied Yui. "Even if you kept it outside of work, I thought you two, well would be closer now."

Yukino's eyes darted about as she looked and failed to find an exit. Then downcast she mumbled, "you know we can't do that."

"It's not..." I started, feeling I should say something. But my brain seized up, trying to find the right words and failing.

Yui looked between our shamed faces, her mouth moving like she was fighting with her own words. "Well, why the hell not!" She suddenly cried in frustration. "I've already told you I'm fine with it so many times, if anything I'd be happy for you."

There was a long silence only filled with Yui's heavy breathing, it felt like an eternity until it Yukino interrupted the stillness with a loud sniff. "But you won't be I know it," said Yukino her voice cracking under the strain of her emotions. "I know that you will be forcing that happy smile every day and that it will break eventually."

"It won't be like that, I promise," said Yui tenderly.

"Really, then why were you giving us space," said Yukino. "When that's exactly what I wanted to avoid, the last thing I want is to see you drift away." She sagged under the weight of her heart and whispered, "I can't bear to lose you again, Yui."

"I swear I'm not going to go anywhere," said Yui. Her eyes searching as she pushed a smile. "I mean I've got to stick around for when you two have kids for me to spoil rotten."

I was expecting Yukino to become embarrassed and despite myself, I could feel some heat in own my cheeks. But instead Yukino looked down at her hands as she said, "and why can't those children be yours?"

Yui actually looked surprised at the question and only managed to stammer vague denials as she fidgeted with her hair. Leaving Yukino to plead, "all day I've been thinking about how unfair it is for you to not be with your daughter. How you should be surrounded by children and your mother by grandchildren, all happy together. Why can't it be you and Hikigaya making that happen, with me as an aunt. I'd make a far better one of those than I ever would a mother."

"Yukino you'd make a great..." Started Yui.

"For the thousandth time, I don't want children Yui!" Bellowed Yukino suddenly, making me recoil from the anger that twisted her face.

I was expecting Yui to cower in fear, but instead, she shouted back, "and for the thousandth time, you shouldn't let your mother stop you from having a family!"

"Why won't you understand," pleaded Yukino. "My mother has had my life and my sister's life planned out since before we were even born."

"She can't have," I interjected trying to calm the conversation. "I can never predict what Homura's going to want for dinner, let alone what she wants to do in ten years time."

"My mother has files Hikigaya, actual physical files," said Yukino, gesturing as if she held one. "She was working on my nephew's one within minutes of meeting him for the first time and was probably updating my sister's file too. The thought of putting my own children through that, I can't, I can't bear it. Let alone risking my mother and sister sinking their talons into sweet little Homura."

Yukino looked at me almost apologetically, maybe thinking that she was guilty of putting my daughter in harm's way. "Don't worry I won't let that happen," I said casually, in an attempt to calm her. "Nor will Iroha for that matter."

"You're underestimating her Hikigaya," said Yukino with an unstable laugh. "I swear I'm not being paranoid, those files are real, I've seen them with my own eyes, complete with corrections for when I tried to deviate from my mother's grand plan."

She looked at us with darting eyes, seemingly expecting us to mock her or just dismiss her outright. "Neither of us thinks you're paranoid, Yukino," I said flatly. "I think we both have enough experience of your family to believe you."

I looked to Yui who nodded nervously in agreement before saying, "It's all okay Yukino." Yui stroked her friend's arm tenderly, deep in thought until something clicked in her mind. Unfortunately, it clicked on me as Yui suddenly rounded, fixing me with narrowed eyes. "Actually no, it's not all okay," she said. "Hikki has clearly not been doing his job."

"What do you mean, I work harder than most of the idiots in that office?" I protested.

Yukino looked equally confused as she added vaguely, "no, his performance has been most satisfactory."

Yui sighed and rolled her eyes before saying, "I meant your job of looking after Yukino. I thought I gave you explicit instructions to make sure she was okay and didn't get totally stressed out by her family."

"I have been," I proclaimed. "It's just not always easy within the workplace, especially with how stubborn she can be."

"True," said Yui. "But that still doesn't get you off the hook. I really thought you'd be able to support and protect her while she's getting herself settled, especially now her sister's gone."

"Well sorry," I said. "Look, I understand you've been trying to give us space and have been through some shit yourself, but you're the one that's been stressing Yukino out. I can help with her family problems, but between you two is well, kind of difficult."

She considered for a moment. "Fair enough Hikki," Yui said remorsefully. "I was so wrapped in my own head, I guess I hoping you'd be able to deal with any problems that Yukino's family brought up. I thought you two would be too busy with all that to be worrying about what I was doing."

"You were all that I was worried about," said Yukino. "My family can go hang for all I care these days."

"Despite all they've done, I still don't like you talking about your folks like that," said Yui. "I mean they're still family regardless and I know they can't be all bad."

Yukino looked like she was having to control the surge of anger that always threatened to burst forth at the mention of her tormentors. "I'm just tired of them always being the centre of attention," said Yukino. "I want to be helping you Yui, but again, we always get side tracked into once more talking about my stupid problems."

"Honestly I'll be fine," said Yui with a cheery, if tired looking smile.

"Yui, please don't lie to me," said Yukino sadly.

"I just need to work it all through my head first okay," said Yui quietly.

Sighing with exasperation, Yukino replied, "just please don't hide it from me. You deserve every ounce of support that I do, if not more. You keep pushing Hikigaya into being there for me, well why shouldn't he be there for you?"

This time it was Yukino who rounded on me, her eyes blazing. "Actually Hikigaya, why haven't you been supporting Yui?" She demanded in the voice of my boss, making me snap to attention.

As I struggled to voice an answer Yui said, "Hikigaya's got enough on his plate to worry about."

"How's that any different from me?" Asked Yukino.

"Well, you and Hikki..." started Yui.

"We what, we work together, that doesn't mean a thing," stated Yukino. "When I look at us three, all I see is family and how important it is to both of you. The simple fact is that it isn't to me and I can't see it ever being that way. You may deny it Yui, but every ounce of you is desperate for another child and well, you should have one."

Yukino paused, allowing her tone to become softer as she continued, "your life should be filled with the happy cries of children, that's why it should be you with Hikigaya. Together you'll be able to have the family you've always wanted, whether it's just with Homura or even a new little life. Unlike you, I will be truly happy just being an aunt and if it gets bad, then maybe I will allow myself a cat."

Yukino gave a small hopeful smile at the idea, but it didn't reach her friend. "You're being a hypocrite," said Yui darkly. "You said earlier how you'd worry about me drifting away, well you'll do just the same."

"It's different for me," refuted Yukino. "I'm used to being on my own, whereas you need to have a family around you."

"That just makes it worse," exclaimed Yui. "The only shows how much you need to have a family of your own, why you need Hikki by your side!"

"As I said, being on sidelines is all I require," replied Yukino her voice rising. "While being a mother is an intrinsic part of you, I assure you will be happy seeing you and Hikigaya together!"

"But then who will protect you from your mother and sister," demanded Yui. "You need Hikigaya for that as well."

"I've been dealing with them for years," said Yukino. "I don't need his help."

"That's a lie and you know it!" snapped Yui.

"Why won't you just accept what I'm giving you," Yukino said, claw-like fingers shaking with frustration. "Isn't it what you've always wanted?"

"Well, why won't you accept it from me," screamed Yui. "I know you want it just as bad."

"It's different," Yukino stammered. "What you've gone through today only hammers home that fact."

"How's it different," demanded Yui. "What you went through at your sister's wedding only proved how much you need him."

"How can you even compare dealing with my irritating family, to the anguish of holding your daughter for such brief moment," said Yukino.

"Everything that's happened to me I chose, that and today was just for a moment," said Yui, jabbing the table with a finger. "You've had to cope with those monsters you're entire life, whether you wanted to or not."

"A choice that has haunted you for nine years, that you should never have had to make," Yukino screamed. "If I hadn't destroyed everything, Hikigaya would have been there for you."

"He was supposed to be there to save, you," cried Yui. "Only I wrecked it all before he could."

Before anyone else could speak, I slammed my fist on the table and said, "can I say something here?"

Both women looked startled like they'd forgotten I was even there. But before I could say anything Yukino slammed her fist and said, "actually no Hikigaya you can't."

"I beg your pardon," I said with a scoffing laugh.

"Because I know exactly what you're going to say and I'm not going to have you try to take the blame," said Yukino. "You know how much I hate that."

"So that means, you can?" I snapped back. "Frankly I don't want either of you blaming yourselves or each other for the shit I caused."

"Shit that only happened because of me," said Yui.

"Only because you were trying to protect me from, well…" Yukino said, pausing on the edge of the expletive. "…Shit that I should have been capable of dealing with myself."

"Yukino, sorry to say this, but you're still in that mess now," I said. "You had no hope of dealing with it alone back then."

"See Hikki agrees with me," said Yui with a hint of triumph.

"I never said that," I said. "You were just bad for hiding things from us, then and now. I don't believe for a second that you're okay after earlier."

I saw a momentary flash of satisfaction on Yukino's face, while Yui mouthed silently as she tried to think of a counter argument. Eventually hung Yui hung her head sadly and said, "So where does that leave us?"

"It leaves us," I said as I drew a deep breath and tried to think of a response. "A bunch of useless fuck ups with messed up family lives."

There was silence and I began to wonder if they had taken it as an insult. Then a rare noise broke through and I wasn't sure what it was at first, but soon realised it was the sound of Yukino giggling. Yui joined her nervously until suddenly Yukino snorted and suddenly Yui was laughing proper. I just sighed and shook my head, but I couldn't help but smile at the pair of them, now just chuckling at other's laughter.

"I'm sorry," Yukino said through gasps. "I just had this image of us all battling like in one those children's television programmes, all over who was the most dysfunctional."

"Well you two pretty much were a minute ago," I pointed out.

"I suppose we were," said Yui with a sigh. "Which probably just shows how much of a mess we all are, not to mention it being a pointless game anyway."

Yui looked at me with a sympathetic gaze and Yukino joined her adding, "face it Yui, we can never beat Hikigaya at this contest."

"Yeah, he comes from the starting pointing of just being Hikki," Said Yui. "We never stood a chance."

"That just proves how great I am," I said proudly. "To come all this way despite all my handicaps and trials."

"You really shouldn't be so proud of that," said Yui.

"Yes, I'm afraid you still fall short in far too many areas, to be a functional member of society," said Yukino.

"Like what?" I asked with a sneer.

"Well for a start, you're still far too proud of the worst kinds of accomplishments," said Yukino bluntly.

"Not to mention somehow being even more stubborn than Yukino," added Yui.

"I wasn't sure that was possible," I said back. Almost missing Yui mutter something that contained the words, 'blindness and 'truth.' I was about to correct her when I heard Yukino mumble a sentence that contained, 'indecisive.'

"Hey, I can see the door right there, then I'll be decisive, by walking right out of it," I said overly dramatically.

"Sit back down Hikigaya," said Yukino irritably as she leant on her hand.

"We've hurt is feelings now haven't we," commented Yui in same tone and posture.

"To be honest, I think we might be in a worse situation if he wasn't those things," added Yukino.

"I guess it's what we love about him," said Yui, shaking her head with despair.

"I suppose it is and I hate that it says more about me than him," said Yukino.

"Yep, we are both two screwed up girls," said Yui.

As I tried to decide whether I preferred them arguing or agreeing, the sound of distant barking echoed from the world outside. We all looked up and then glanced at each other, unsure of what to say.

"So what are we going to do," said Yui forlornly. "You know, about us?"

There was another ominous silence till I eventually said, "Do you two mind if we sleep on it. I'm not running from this, but I don't think any of us can think clearly right now."

They sat in thought for a while, both looking tired and much older than their years. We could continue to talk about this, but with strained minds and heavy hearts, it wouldn't end anywhere good. By their expressions, I think both Yui and Yukino knew that, but didn't want to risk saying it.

"I going to take Homura home," I said. "If you two want to call me a coward, traitor or hypocrite, then so be it."

"No Hikki you're not, at least no more than I am," said Yui. "Part of me wants to settle this once and for all, but you two were right, the rest of me just can't face it, not tonight."

Yui looked troubled and made several attempts to continue, before saying. "Though before you go, there was one thing I wanted to ask you Hikki, well both of you I guess." Steeling herself, Yui stammered as she asked, "Her adoptive or should I say her real family. What were they like; did you see them?"

Yui looked at me and Yukino closely, analysing our reactions. Tentatively I said, "we saw her father, he seemed okay, I guess. Certainly, nothing that rang any alarm bells."

Yukino nodded as she added, "her father looked a little disreputable. But it was clear he was wrapped around her little finger, much like Hikigaya is with Homura."

"No, I'm not," I protested. But Yukino just rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Yui smiled faintly at us. "That's good," she said in a tired and distant voice. "You hear stories you know, about stuff that happens to kids that are adopted or fostered. But if he's like Hikki at all, then I'm sure she's fine.

Her face took on a hollow look, staring at nothing. "You know part of me wishes she wasn't, just so I could so swoop in and rescue her," Yui said in a whisper. Giving a dark hopeless laugh as she added, "horrible aren't I."

Yukino reached forward and stroked her friend's hand, saying tenderly, "No Yui it's not. Everyone has those thoughts, I have and I'm positive Hikigaya has, haven't you?"

As Yukino looked at me for support, I gave a vague, "Yeah, of course." Though truth be told I hadn't and I wasn't sure it was in Yui's best interest to dream of such fairy tale endings.

"You're a poor liar, Hikki," said Yui with a smile. "But it's okay."

Yui's head lolled as she smiled blankly at the room around us. Yukino looked worried, squeezing her friend's hand until Yui focused on her. Pondering etiquette, Yukino asked cautiously, "Yui, might it be okay if I stayed here tonight, with you?"

Yui looked surprised, but there was a hint of gratitude or maybe even relief in her features. With a nod, she replied, "sure, we can have a sleepover just like old times."

I left them to chat softly about days gone by and went to meet Homura at the door, hoping to catch her before she took her shoes off. Yui's mother was a little surprised to see me standing there and peered passed me apprehensively. She seemed a little relieved to see her daughter and Yukino talking, though there was still a fair amount of concern in her eyes.

As Homura started to take her coat off I stopped her. "Keep it on," I said. "We're heading home."

"Aww" whined Homura. "But I want to play with the doggy some more."

She hugged the dog for dramatic effect and they both looked at me with pleading eyes. But I stood firm as I said, "No, it'll soon be time for little girls and I think little dogs to be in bed, so we'd best head back."

My daughter wasn't the only one who looked disappointed. "It's okay dear," said Yui's mother with a sigh. She knelt down and gave Homura a hug saying, "you can come over anytime to play with him."

"Mom, stop using the dog to try and steal her," said Yui with a sigh. Walking over to us with Yukino, who flinched as the dog leapt up to lick her hand.

"I was not," said Mrs Yuigahama with a sulky expression. "It's just I'm getting too old keep up with him."

"No, you're not," scolded Yui tenderly. "Now come on, let them leave so Hikki can get his little girl to bed."

"You know they could..." started Mrs Yuigahama. But the look Yui gave shut her mother down and she stood aside with a sad sigh.

Yui stooped to give Homura a hug before smiling as she straightened my daughter's coat. She ruffled my daughter's hair affectionately, "I imagine you've got school tomorrow so you'd better be in bed soon, so you can be up bright and early."

"I suppose," said Homura without much enthusiasm. "We've got math tomorrow."

"Well try your best Homura and no one can fault you," said Yukino straightening the hair that Yui had messed up. Before adding as if to herself, "though I'm becoming concerned that she may have already picked some of her father's work ethic."

"Don't worry," I said. "I make sure she takes school seriously and works hard."

"Yeah, but that's you think is working hard," said Yui. "Which is honestly a little worrying."

Yukino, Mrs Yuigahama and for good measure, Homura, joined Yui with identical expressions of concern. Leaving me to scowl at them as I said, "regardless, it's time we were going. Now say thank you Homura, they can fault me on hard work, but I won't have them say anything about your manners."

"Thank you for having us," said Homura in a sing-song voice, which made all the women smile.

"It was lovely having you Homura," said Yui's mother sweetly. "You're always welcome here, as are you Hikigaya."

Saying goodbye was a little more awkward for myself as I looked at Yui and Yukino, unsure of how best to go about it. Settling on a small wave, I said with false casualness, "Okay, well I'll see you later."

"Oh come on Hikki you can't leave like that," said Yui suddenly. Catching me off guard as she shoved Yukino into me, forcing the two of us to embrace as we tried to stop ourselves. We only held for a moment, before Yukino pushed away, both of us blushing out of awkwardness.

I expected a Yui to hug me straight after, but she kept her distance with an amiable smile. I stood there for an uncomfortable second, arms jutting forward like a robot until it became clear nothing was going to happen. As I started to turn away, Yukino asked sharply, "aren't you two going to hug each other then?"

In the silence that followed I looked at Yui, unsure of whether I should if she didn't want to. Yukino looked between us with an expression bordering on anger, he features twitching as she fought an internal battle. Clearly, one side won a crushing victory as Yukino suddenly screeched at me, "Hikigaya, you will damn well hug your friend or I will, I will." Her eyes blazed at me as she tried to find a suitable punishment, "I will do, something!"

Yui and I looked at each other, then Yukino nervously. Gingerly we stepped towards each other and I awkwardly held Yui in my arms. Our bodies as stiff as mannequins until the last moment, when I felt Yui squeeze tight, then almost instantaneously she slipped away.

"See, that's better," said Yukino in a quavering voice.

But no one said anything else.

We stood in the heavy silence for what felt like an eternity. Then with a series of small nods of farewell, I turned and led my daughter out the front door.

As we walked away I looked back to see Yukino, Yui and her mother watching from the doorway. Homura gave a little, somewhat unsure wave and they waved back with small smiles. But my friend's faces were graven and frankly so was mine, as I struggled to manage a smile in return.

Eventually, they disappeared back inside, while my daughter and I carried on. As the apartment building began to recede into the distance I looked back once more and saw their silhouettes at the window. In my mind, I knew their beautiful faces were contorted by the weight of their hearts. My own heart was a jumbled mass of confused emotions, but as I looked back at the road ahead of me, I knew one thing.

This could not go on.


	10. Chapter 10

**My After Story SNAFU**

 **Chapter 10**

* * *

The autumn wind whistled through the open car park as Yui, Yukino and myself waited for the return of our esteemed former teacher. Yui looked dubiously at me, neither of us sure about Yukino's idea, but she had been so insistent that we had to simply humour her. Yukino gazed resolutely into the distance, trying not show how much the chill wind was making her shiver and tapped her foot irritably.

The plan as Yukino described it, was to corner Hiratsuka, then basically force her to accept our help. At the moment, it would mainly involve cleaning her apartment, but Yukino gave the impression that she wanted to sort out our former teacher's life too

Yukino glared at me and asked for the tenth time, "are you absolutely positive that she is on her way?"

"That's what Hiratsuka said in her message," I said irritably. Before adding, "unless you've scared her away with that death stare."

Yukino clicked her tongue in irritation, but refused to give my insubordination a response. She glanced down at the bag by her feet, checking the inventory of cleaning products and utensils again. My pride as a former husband was unnerved by how many I'd never seen before, let alone what you used them for. Both women were dressed for cleaning, though Yui's tracksuit actually looked old, as opposed to Yukino's which looked specially purchased for the purpose. My own casual clothes were the same regardless of what I was doing, since I liked to keep my wardrobe utilitarian to save on precious lazing around time.

"Do you think it might have been an idea to bring your daughter along, Hikigaya," enquired Yukino. "Hiratsuka is fond of the girl."

"No," I replied bluntly. "Homura is with Iroha today."

While that was true, it wasn't the whole truth. Seeing Yui so distressed by her brief encounter with her own daughter, had really shaken up my little girl. Homura had been quiet and unsettled for a few days after, a fact that had not gone unnoticed by her mother. Iroha had pretty much barred Homura from seeing Yui and Yukino, since it was nearly impossible for me to explain what had happened, without giving away Yui's very personal secrets.

The atmosphere on this cold morning was very quiet, with everything still feeling rather undefined between Yukino, Yui and myself. The threat of an argument seemed to loom over all of us and it felt like one wrong word would set it all off again. From their expressions, I could tell they had both been thinking about our situation as well, but I didn't know what their plans were once we had finished dealing with Hiratsuka. I for better or worse had been deep in thought on this sorry mess and had slowly come to a solution. Though how they would take it, I didn't know and there was probably no such thing as a right time to talk about it.

Another gust of wind cut into our bones, making Yui say with a hopeful grimace, "why don't we like, go and get a coffee. Then Hiratsuka can call us when she gets here and we'll come back to sort everything out."

"Yeah, a drink would be good right now," I agreed. "It'd certainly be better than just hanging around here at least."

"No, we're staying," said Yukino firmly. "If you want a warm drink, there is a thermos of tea in my bag."

I was about to argue back when a distant sound filled me dread, the roar of a high-performance sports car engine echoed down the street and made us look up in unison. It wasn't long until the bright red Aston Martin swung into the car park, filling the air with the screech of tortured rubber and the pulse of Eurobeat. Hiratsuka slid the car around the full parking spaces and untidily stopped in the space in front of us, it's engine clinking with relief.

I saw a face peering curiously through the tinted glass on the passenger side, but it was the driver's door that opened with an unhealthy creak of metal. Hiratsuka swung dramatically out with her long black hair catching in the wind, trying to look cool as she leant on the car roof.

"So, what do you three want," asked Hiratsuka casually. "Can I not enjoy a nice holiday without you lot bothering me?"

She looked at us and our awkward glances at Yukino, indicated it was her idea. Yukino coughed formally as if preparing for a speech and took a step forward. "Hiratsuka Sensei," started Yukino. Before correcting herself to, "I mean, Miss Hiratsuka."

"Please don't put so much emphasis on the Miss," cut in Hiratsuka sourly.

"My apologies," said Yukino, the correction rattling her a little. "As I was saying, we were thinking that as a thank you for all that you've done for us, over the years. We would come over and give your apartment a tidy, along with generally helping out, a little."

Yukino gave her a smile like it was the most reasonable thing in the world, but Hiratsuka just stared at her with confused incredulity. The silence was only broken by a sudden howl of laughter, the Aston Martin rocking as Hiratsuka's passenger lost themselves to hysterics. Hiratsuka gave the car's roof an irritable thump, but it had little effect. With a flick of her hair, the former teacher looked at me with narrowed eyes, like she was preparing a question. Then with a glance at the car, changed her mind and snapped her eyes towards Yui.

"Yuigahama, explain!" barked Hiratsuka. Making Yui squeak like she had just been picked out of class.

"Well like Yukino said," replied Yui nervously. "We thought it would be nice to help you out a bit, you know. You did bring us together, advised us and stuff."

Hiratsuka looked at me with a raised eyebrow, but I merely answered with a shrug. She sighed and said, "That's just my job as a teacher, you guys don't owe me anything."

"Still while we're here, we could..." started Yukino.

"I am perfectly capable of cleaning my own place, thank you very much and I did so before I left," snapped Hiratsuka. "I appreciate the offer, but frankly go away, I have things to deal with."

I looked at Yui and motioned to leave, while she shouldered her bag with a nod of agreement. But much to my exasperation, Yukino wasn't so easily dissuaded, drawing breath to prepare another offer.

"It's more than just what you did for us as a teacher, there were," Yukino paused her eyes darting towards the car. "Things I did and said a long time ago, that I still need to make amends for."

Hiratsuka rolled her eyes and said, "Yukino you were a child. You had no idea of what you were saying or consequences of your actions, so I've never blamed you for any of it."

"Does she feel that way?" Said Yukino flatly, her eyes now fixed on the car.

Hiratsuka was about to reply, but decided to give the car roof another thump instead. Demanding that the passenger, "stop giggling like a loon and get out."

The car door swung open and a woman awkwardly climbed out, struggling a little with the low height of the Aston Martin. She straightened out her long skirt and smiled at us, trying to hide the fact she'd been laughing at us a few minutes earlier. Brushing back the long brown hair that framed her pretty face, she straightened a small pair of round spectacles and smiled. Despite the mischievous glint in her eyes, she carried the unmistakable air of a teacher, though she seemed far friendlier than Hiratsuka.

She studied us curiously, giving me an amused smile, which changed to warmth when she looked at Yukino. Walking over to give her a big hug as she said, "Oh Yukino, you've grown so much. You were so little the last time I saw you, I remember when I used to stick cat ears on your head and you'd run around meowing."

As Yukino fought against the blush growing in her cheeks, the woman added conspiratorially to us, "she absolutely was adorable." Yui giggled making Yukino blush more and the woman suddenly added, "actually wait, I think I have some in my bag."

But before her friend could act, Hiratsuka pulled her away and stated, "Don't you dare."

The woman pouted and intoned sarcastically, "Yes, Hiratsuka Sensei."

"That's better, Yamanaka Sensei," snapped Hiratsuka. "Now if you'd actually start acting like one, you'll have heard that Yukinoshita has got it into her head that she is at fault for things that happened back then."

The woman looked puzzled for a moment, then waved her hand at Yukino dismissively. "Don't be ridiculous dear, if anyone is to blame it's Shizuka and myself," said Yamanaka or whatever her name was. Before adding with a wistful sigh, "we were all young, oh so young. Not to mention reckless and irresponsible, so there's no way either us would blame you, especially when you were so cute back then."

"See Yukino," said Hiratsuka. "There's nothing for you to worry or feel guilty about, so would you now just kindly leave me in peace." Yukino looked like she was about to argue back, but Hiratsuka stated firmly, "for the last time, you are absolved. If you want to do me a favour, then do it by going away."

To punctuate her words, Hiratsuka turned dramatically, her long hair flaring out around her. Rather than looking comforted by our teacher's absolution, Yukino looked distressed and confused. Her mouth moved convulsively as she tried to voice what troubled her, but I'd had enough and prepared to pull her away.

But Yukino managed to force her question out faster, asking in a high voice, "Miss Hiratsuka, please can you answer me one last thing?"

Hiratsuka turned back with a frown and snapped, "What is it?"

"Who won?" Asked Yukino. Struggling to hold on to her dignity as everyone looked at her with puzzled expressions.

"Huh, who won what?" Said Hiratsuka.

"When Hikigaya first joined the club, you said there was a competition of sorts, whoever won would be able to order the others around," stated Yukino. "Well, you never announced who the victor was."

As cobwebs blew away from ancient memories, I got a sinking feeling and glancing at Yui's troubled expression, it seemed she thought the same. Hiratsuka's memory took a little longer, but eventually, the realisation came to her. Pondering the question, she considered the three of us and a mischievous smile formed, giving me a surge of long forgotten fear. Then Hiratsuka posed dramatically and declared, "I did!"

She let loose a peal of laughter like some villainess in an old anime series. Before pointing at us and saying, "Now, I order you three to get lost."

As Hiratsuka turned away once more and Yukino looked at her, move moving silently in utter devastation. I'd expected anger or disappointment, even though I myself felt relieved. But Yukino looked like she was on the verge of tears as she tried to comprehend the teacher's answer.

Yui moved to put an arm around her friend, but stopped when she saw Hiratsuka sigh and turn back to face us. Our former teacher walked back purposefully and gently put her hands on Yukino's shoulders.

"Shizuka, remember what we promised," cut in Yamanaka flatly, looking at Hiratsuka with a frown. "We both agreed we're going to make a clean break of this."

"I know, I know, but they're such lost lambs at times. Let me just do this and then we'll be done," said Hiratsuka to her friend. "Though don't think I won't bring this up later, when we go and deal with your lot."

Yamanaka gave a dismissive wave as she rolled her eyes, leaving Hiratsuka to turn back to Yukino. "I get the feeling this has less to do with me and more to do with things between you three," asked Hiratsuka tenderly. None of us said anything, but the guilty expressions we gave each other was enough of an answer. Hiratsuka sighed and lifted Yukino's chin to meet her eyes. "I wish I had some sage advice for you guys, but honestly I'm even worse at relationships than you three."

Yamanaka made an exaggerated cough that didn't quite cover the word, "understatement."

Hiratsuka glared at her friend. "Like you're any better," she snapped. "Unless you've got something helpful to add, be quiet."

"Whatever," said Yamanaka. "I just wanted to have a shower and relax a bit before we headed to your old school. You promised me we could check out the bands, so kindly hurry up or you'll sour my mood."

"We will don't worry, though I'm sure they'll be terrible," said Hiratsuka dismissively. Then she paused for a moment's thought and her dangerous smile returned as an idea formed in her mind. "I know, why don't you three go back to school as well," she added. "The festival is on today and maybe seeing the place again will help you get some perspective on everything that's happened."

Hiratsuka struck a dramatic pose again as a big grin spread across her face. "That's it," she cried, "go back to your roots and strip the problem of all its baggage. Only then will you find the answer and be free." Then putting her hands on her hips Hiratsuka added, "how's that for sage, teacherly advice!"

Only Yui looked thoughtful, leaving me to show my disdain and Yukino to continue with being despondent. Hiratsuka was unimpressed at our less than enthusiastic response and said, "Fine then. That's all you're getting you miserable lot."

With that Hiratsuka sauntered off towards the apartment building, Yamanaka quickly joining her, glancing back at me with an amused wave. They were almost out ear shot when I heard Yamanaka giggle and say, "Oh my god, he's totally your type."

Yamanaka narrowly missed being clouted about the head by Hiratsuka and added with a laugh, "There's the old tsundere I know and love." Hiratsuka's second clout connected, as she yelled at her friend for silence. But it only made Yamanaka laugh harder as she poked Hiratsuka and said, "I least I get to see your sweeter side."

The laughing and shouting became indistinct as they headed into the apartment building. I shook my head and turned to see Yui watching the two teachers with a curious expression.

"What is it?" I asked.

Yui blinked in surprise, blushing a little. "Nothing," she said awkwardly. "I just thought it was nice seeing Hiratsuka so happy."

The distant sound of Hiratsuka yelling something made me say, "I'm not so sure about that."

Yui gave me a brief smile, before looking at the sky and saying, "Well what shall we do now?"

But neither Yukino or I answered, she seemed lost in her own little world and I simply hadn't a clue. I knew what Yui was going to say of course, but it certainly didn't fill me with excitement and really didn't want to break my vow of never stepping foot in that place again.

"I mean we could go back and see it, you never know it might be nice," said Yui warily. Then after seeing my face snapped, "Well what would you rather do Hikki and don't say go home!"

Yui turned to her friend for support asking, "Well, what do you think Yukino?"

Yukino looked confused at the question, then said in a distant voice, "I suppose we could. The school is always inviting me to these occasions, but it would be the first time I've actually been back."

"Well that makes two against one," said Yui with an unnecessary amount of triumph. "You lose Hikki."

"Whatever," I said with a shrug. It was tempting just to head home on my own, but I still needed to talk to them and my apartment wasn't the place. Yukino had already started drifting towards her car and we all climbed inside, driving off through Chiba in silence. All our minds were elsewhere, thinking of the future and the past. So we wandered aimlessly in the present, going with the flow, wherever it took us.

A feeling of dread had been building as we approached Sobu High, as if the school would loom over us like vampire's castle in an old horror movie. All our painful memories turning it into some vast shadowy monster, that would devour us the moment we stepped through the door.

But that feeling began to dissipate as I stepped under the gaudily painted banner that welcomed us to the festival, the chatter of pupils and guests filling the air. It wasn't like the place was suddenly bright and happy, it was just well, a school. Though I'd never felt any particular sense of belonging to the collection of concrete and glass buildings, I realised it didn't even remotely feel like mine anymore. It wasn't like it looked much different, a lick of paint there, some new outbuildings there. If anything, the place seemed smaller, the long trudge from the gate now taking only a moment.

We were met by pupils and staff, who all looked disturbingly young. The few old teachers that remained, were now haggard and grey, thankfully with no memory of me or Yui. But Yukino being a star pupil and now head of a major corporation was instantly recognised. They fawned over her, no doubt trying to curry favour and sponsorship, while she gritted her teeth politely. Using all her corporate experience to appear polite, despite her fatigue and disinterest.

Eventually and with a little help from Yui, Yukino extracted herself from the crowd and we began to wander through the festival. Looking at the same standard stalls, running the same games and selling the same food that school festivals always did. I tried to think back to when I was here, tried to remember whether I had been like these cheerful faces in the crowd. For a moment felt a strange warmth in my heart as I reminisced, thinking back to those halcyon days.

Then my disgust at myself hit me and I shook the thought away before it took root. Disregarding the lie of a rose tinted past, remembering hours slinking about on my own or running around after some idiot's problems. I looked at Yui and Yukino, wondering how they saw this place, were they remembering happy times or sad ones.

Yui seemed the happier amongst the bustle, occasionally greeting some parent she knew, but never stopping to chat for more than a moment. Yukino was still distant, her expression unreadable, only smiling for the odd teacher that remembered her. No one knew me of course, sometimes I'd get an odd look, but I was sure that was because of the company that I was keeping.

I slouched against a wall while they queued for some questionable takoyaki, leaning back to avoid a gaggle of passing school girls. I flinched at just how noisy the students were and looked away to see that I wasn't the only one giving them a disgusted look. On the steps opposite, in a place where the sea breeze ruffled his hair, a boy sat sipping from a can. He glowered at the girls, his narrow eyes filled with superiority and disgust. Watching the festival alone, he took in the frivolity of the crowd and despised it.

Just seeing him there, made me want to march over and grab him by the collar. Tell the miserable wretch to dare to enjoy himself, that no one cared how high his horse was if no knew he was riding it. That if there was anyone who cared, he would only hurt them with the arrogance that fuelled his sneer. But I knew he wouldn't listen, I was an ignorant adult now, who knew nothing of the trials of adolescent life. An old fart, doomed to watch another idiot make the same mistakes over and over.

As I sighed in despair, Yui appeared at my shoulder and said, "Have you been hiding another kid from us, Hikki?"

But Yui's chuckle died on her lips as the group of girls moved off, one holding back to give the boy a shy wave. He didn't seem to care her gesture and merely scowled at the girl, taking it as a signal to slink away in the opposite direction.

"It seems there must always be a Hachiman at Sobu High," commented Yukino. Giving me an amused smile, before watching the boy toss his can in the trash and vanish around the corner.

I frowned at her use of my name and asked, "what about a Yukino, has she always been here too?"

"A good question," said Yukino wistfully. Looking instinctively in the direction of the club rooms.

As we joined her, Yui asked warily, "shall we go and take a look?"

"I suppose we ought to," I said with a shrug. My own curiosity starting to gain ground against my sour disposition.

"It would be a shame not to see the place while we're here," added Yukino.

This seemed to be closest we'd get to a unanimous decision, so without any further comment, we walked together into the school. Again, the place felt smaller, as it didn't seem to take any time to reach the club room, with only the stairs seeming steeper. Now we stood outside the door waiting for one of us pluck up the courage to open it.

Yui looked at the sign above the door curiously, probably looking for the stickers she had left there, but they were long gone. She gave us a philosophical shrug and watched as Yukino moved to slide the door open.

"Oh my God Yukino," said Yui scandalised. Putting a hand out to stop her friend as she added, "You've got to knock first, how rude can you be."

Yukino looked confused as she slowly raised her hand and lightly tapped the door with her small knuckles. All while Yui struggled to contain her laughter as a smile tweaked my cheeks, watching until Yukino realised she was being messed with.

She narrowed her eyes at us as we both started to snigger. "Maybe I should just turn us around and drag you both back to elementary school to learn some real manners," Yukino said stiffly. Pulling the door open with her nose in the air and briskly entering our former club room.

I think we all blinked, looking about in confusion as we tried to comprehend what we saw. I leant back into the corridor to check the doors, making sure we had the right room. But there was no doubt about it, this had been the home of the Service Club, but it wasn't anymore.

I'm not sure what I'd been expecting really; photos featuring generations of loyal Service Club members or the perfectly preserved remnants of our passing. But there was nothing, instead what looked like the Literature Club had made a mess preparing for the festival. The huge stack of furniture was gone, replaced by a long bookcase and the plain walls had been covered in posters featuring various inspirational literary quotes.

Yui ambled about, looking at the junk on the tables, while Yukino made a more thorough inspection of the room. She studied the spines of the books, running her finger through the dust on the window sill and carefully examined the faded writing on the board. Once she was done, Yukino took to staring at the trees outside, perhaps trying to gauge how much they had grown.

"Are you okay Yukino," asked Yui tentatively.

Yukino sighed and said, "I know it's silly, but part of me believed there would at least be some trace of our time here."

Yui gave the room another quick search before seeing something in the corner, looking at it apprehensively before finally picking it up. "You don't suppose this is," she started with a guilty pause. "Hikki's old chair?"

I looked down and grimaced as I saw the chair's bent legs. But Yukino only gave it a quick glance and shook her head. Stating with the detached air of a great detective, "No Yui. You struck Hikigaya with the back legs, but that chair has sustained damage to the front, ergo it is not his chair. Not to mention that I don't believe you are strong enough, nor Hikigaya dense enough, to cause that degree of damage."

"Oh yeah," said Yui sheepishly as she looked at the chair again. She tried and failed to surreptitiously put the chair back, her cheeks going red as she said awkwardly, "sorry Hikki."

Feeling the discomfort of her embarrassment, I said with a dismissive wave, "Don't worry I deserved it."

"But did you Hikigaya," asked Yukino with sudden sharpness. But after seeing Yui stiffen she added, "we've blamed you for so much over the years, but did you really deserve it?"

Yukino sat down in a seat that roughly approximated her old one and stared out the window miserably. Yui sat next to her and gently stroked her arm, but after no response settled with looking glumly down. I automatically moved to sit in my old home at the far end of the table but was stopped by a loud cough.

"I think after all we've been through, you could at least sit with us," said Yukino formally.

"Yeah, it always made things so awkward with you sitting all the way up there," added Yui with a nod.

Clumsily I moved a chair to sit opposite them and sat looking at the pair, expecting them to say something else. But instead, Yukino reached to her bag and pulled out a thermos of tea along with some plastic cups, delicately pouring us each a drink.

"Sorry, if I'd known we were coming here, I would have brought our old cups," said Yukino. "Then at least there would have been something of ours here, but it really is all gone."

"Is that such a bad thing?" said Yui hesitantly.

But Yukino didn't answer, returning to staring out the window with a grim expression. Yui looked down at her tea and sipped it, watching the steam rise slowly from the cup. Feeling uncomfortable just looking at them, I tilted my head back and stared at the ceiling that was familiar, yet at the same time unfamiliar. All three of us lost in thought, no doubt thinking about the last time we had been in this room.

The start of my third year at Sobu High had been a strange time for me, with this vague feeling of listlessness casting a grey fog over my mind. Maybe it had been the start of exam stress or the knowledge that my school days would soon be over. But it felt like the story of my life had just inexplicably stopped and I had been left stumbling around, searching for a conclusion.

The issues between the three of us still remained, but they started getting pushed aside as revision and study came to the fore. At least I pretended that was the case as I waited for some spark of brilliance to tell me how to deal with the situation and leave everyone happy. But such inspiration didn't come until much later when all I had to think about, were the things I should have done.

While I was busy dodging the subject, something far more sinister began to spread through the corridors of the school. Rumours, gossip, mere idle jokes that soon became darker and more spiteful. I hadn't treated them seriously, presuming they would soon go away as another target took precedence. Even now, I wish I could have acted when it was just a minor problem and maybe then this mess would never have happened.

I'd never thought my presence within the school had been of any great note, but it seems that it had. Specifically, they had noticed me hanging out with some of the best-looking girls in the school and had wondered how such a thing was possible for the likes of me. It appeared that our pseudo dates had not gone unnoticed and during our spring break skiing trip, my close contact with them had been duly noted.

Whispers that I was dating one of them or playing both Yukino and Yui at the same time, began to spread. Then Iroha was added to the mix and before I knew it, practically every girl I had ever talked to was thrown into the constantly churning rumour mill. Even to the point where the likes of Totsuka and Hiratsuka were caught up in the sorry mess.

To the other pupils the saga of Hikigaya Hachiman the 'Harem King' was just a big joke, a good laugh to break up the mundanity of the school day. But to Yukino, Yui and myself it cut deep into our already frayed friendship, antagonising our inner doubts. Probably if we had banded together and come up with a battle plan, we could have sorted things out, but it became hard just to look them in the face.

So, I started making excuses and finding ways to avoid the problem, being a coward when I needed to be decisive. This mostly involved hanging out more with Iroha and the student council, losing myself in their daily problems. Gradually I stopped showing up to the club room, believing that if I wasn't around then at least there was a chance that Yukino and Yui could save their friendship. I would take any reasoning possible to convince myself that I was doing the right thing by them, even when I knew I wasn't.

When Iroha asked me out, I was so surprised that it was impossible for me to say no, mainly because I kept expecting it to be a joke or a dream. I decided to formally tell Yui and Yukino about my relationship rather than let them just hear about it. They took the news with dignity and wished us the best. Even though they were understanding when I explained that I would be spending most of my time with the student council, I should've seen how much that statement stung them.

In my foolishness, I believed that going out with Iroha would be the end of it, that the school would move on and we could go back to normal. I hoped that our friendship might mend itself now that the deeper problem had been buried, but I should have known better. Once the school knew about me and Iroha, the whispers took a nastier, more personal tone. As students with grudges against Yukino and Yui, envious of their looks, talent or popularity, began to attack.

Cruel words about how they had been cast aside by me for Iroha, that cut deep into already open wounds. Accusations of all kinds of promiscuity ranging from me sleeping with all of them, to Yui and Yukino being a couple with me as a cover story. That I had only gone out with Iroha to avoid choosing between the two, which was a chord that had dogged our relationship from beginning to end. Even now I can't deny there may have been some truth in that, but for Iroha, it cut like a knife into her own self-doubt and turned into a monster whenever the club was mentioned.

The mutterings of the school only became increasingly personal, to the point where Iroha was convinced that they were being spread by Yui and Yukino themselves. At first, I refused to believe it, but without evidence, it was difficult to give deny the possibility. If there was a singular source I never found it, but that dark seed of doubt about the two people I had considered close friends, rapidly grew into a monster inside me.

It seemed that similar thoughts had started to germinate in Yukino and Yui too, as what had once been friendly greetings in the corridor, turned into dark curses. I became angrier and angrier at them, mentally accusing them of betrayal and petty jealousy. My bitter, resentful side that had consumed me at the start of high school returned, even more wretched than before. Soon public and vicious arguments between us became a regular occurrence, all of which I blamed on them rather than daring to look in a mirror.

After another meeting between the school council and the various student bodies had been completely derailed. Iroha had been livid, convinced that Yukino and Yui had been working behind the scenes to undermine her authority. With Iroha's insistence that I do something about it, I decided it was time to put an end to it all.

The Service Club died on a wet Thursday just before our final exams started, the poor weather only amplifying my sour mood. I was angry at everything by then, the school, the club and though I wouldn't have admitted it at the time, myself. Somewhere deep in the coiled mass of rage inside me, I knew this was all my fault. But I was far too lost to anger to admit it, let alone try and do something about it. Instead, I demanded that we meet in the club room, where I would have them explain themselves and apologise for the lies that I believed they had been spreading.

I had expected Yui and Yukino to be clustered together, like witches plotting some foul deed. But they were stood at opposite sides of the room, Yui leaning on the table while Yukino was deep in thought by the window. My distorted mind saw this as part of some scheme against me, but I should have seen it as a sign of how badly fractured their friendship was.

Yui looked like hell and looking back it was clear that she'd been hit hardest by the rumours. Her high profile as a friend of Yumiko, coupled with her kind nature, had made her an easy target for the most savage of whispers. Yukino and myself were used to it to some degree, but Yui wasn't, taking every ill favoured comment deeply to heart. Since the year had begun, her emotional state had become progressively worse and she started lashing out at the people around her. Soon she had a batch of nicknames, some of which I'm ashamed to say came from my own lips. Names that called her crazy, psycho and the most common, Yui the Yandere.

But I was blind to any sympathy for her, all I saw was guilt and only heard her denials as proof. When I told them it was over, that I was leaving the club and their friendship, Yui begged me to reconsider. Desperately clinging to the idea that we could fix this somehow, a tiny sliver of hope that the club could be saved. Reminding me of the good times we'd spent together and how important the club had been to the three of us, what I myself had done for it.

But I denied it, claiming the club had just been somewhere to doss around, a task forced upon me by our teacher and nothing more. I feel sick even now remembering my cruel words, twisting like a knife in Yui's gut.

 _"You're a liar, Hikki,"_ Yui had screamed. " _The darkest, most filthy of liars."_

Over and over Yui screamed 'liar,' until her voice was hoarse with despair. But I kept on haughtily refuting her, even when she started desperately calling to Yukino for aid. But Yukino just stood there in complete silence, barely registering us as she stared into nothing with vacant eyes.

With a final scream of anguish, Yui had swung my old chair with all her strength, smashing it against my side. Coming at me unexpectedly, the blow sent me reeling, pain surging up my arm. But before I had recovered, Yui was gone and by the time I got to the door she was already a long way down the hall. Though not out of range of the obscenities I yelled after her, as I winced through the pain. Before I stormed off, I took one final look back into the club room. There Yukino still stood with the same empty expression, frozen like an ice queen entombed for all eternity.

That was the last time I'd been in this room before today and I believe the final time for Yui as well. She had run from the school, only briefly appearing for her exams and apparently flunking most of them. Yui never attended graduation or any other school occasions, but at the time I didn't give a shit. Many people had tried to get me to go and talk to her, but I had refused. Earning me even more scorn, along with a black eye from Hiratsuka after I had laughed at our teacher's attempts at making peace.

The worst part was I knew that a tiny fragment of me did want to talk to Yui, to make what I thought would be a futile attempt to patch things up. But in those days, I hated that part of me, thinking it was weak and pathetic. That my old belief in Yui's 'nice girl' façade had been well founded and masked a crazy lunatic, just to justify my own actions. This inner turmoil only made me worse, bitter and savage, leaving a scar that never truly healed.

Bringing myself back to present, I watched as Yui slowly traced some graffiti on the desk with her fingernail. She must have noticed my gaze, looking up and giving me a small smile.

I took a deep breath and bowed until my forehead brushed the table top. "I'm sorry," I said. "You were right that day, I was lying, about the club and about us."

I felt Yui's hand gently touch mine and I looked at her. "I know Hikki," she said, her smile warming a little. "It wasn't like you were the only one, I said some horrible things to both of you. I'm glad you never heard the things I called Yukino just before you came in, they make me sick just to think about them. By the time you arrived I was so angry that your lie was all I could see, when I really should have been thinking about why you were lying."

"To be honest, I'm not sure why I was lying either," I said forlornly.

"I think you just wanted it to be over," said Yukino. "For the pain to end and maybe right then, it was best that it did."

"I could have done it in a thousand better ways though," I said.

"We all could," said Yukino. "At least you and Yui argued about it, all I did was stand there like an idiot, letting everything crumble around me." She paused to calm her rising voice and refilled our cups with tea. "Even when I thought I had found the words," Yukino added softly. "They all turned to foolish nonsense in my mouth."

Yukino sighed sadly and I gave her grim look as I remembered the last time I had spoken to her at school.

It had been the day of our graduation and I decided to slip out early, having no desire to join my fellow pupils as they waved dramatically tearful goodbyes to each other. I was so focused on avoiding Hiratsuka and her fists, that I almost walked into Yukino as she waited anxiously near the gate. I tried to stroll past her, but when she called my name my legs automatically locked up. So many times since then, I've wished I'd been able to keep walking, silence being better than what happened next.

In the cold light, she looked like a wraith, her long hair whipping around her to shroud her face. Thin even by her standards, she struggled to meet my gaze with eyes shadowed by dark circles. But the black mass in my chest that served as my heart, felt nothing as I glared at her irritably. I was about to storm away when she finally asked if I'd seen Yui. I savagely said I hadn't and that I was glad, my tone making Yukino recoil back.

Yukino started rambling about her Yui, about me and about the club. Her voice so quiet and disjointed that it was bordering on gibberish, that I barely understood let alone cared about. Seeing Yukino so vulnerable should have made me feel sympathy, but my dark mood saw it as weak and disgusting. A real human being would have seen someone as broken as Yukino and offered them aid in their darkest moments.

Instead, I mocked her, openly stating her flaws and laughing at her insecurities. My own wretchedness forcing all my guilt on to Yukino's small shoulders, just so I could feel better about the mess I was in. A constant stream of bile spilling forth from the darkness inside of me, enjoying hammering her down and feeling triumphant in some horrible way.

 _"Is that genuine, Hikigaya?"_ Yukino had stammered.

At first, she quailed under my verbal assault, but with new found resolve Yukino demanded to know if the filth I'd just spouted was how I really felt or just being said in anger. I was cruel enough to say it was how I felt, that I'd never said anything truer in my life.

But that wasn't enough for Yukino, she started demanding to know what I really meant by the word, genuine. That if my hatred was genuine, then what did mean for her feelings, were they real or not. She tried to articulate the emotions about me and Yui, that rushed around inside of her like a maelstrom. Impossible to understand and even harder to express.

Yukino's confused statements began to loop in on themselves, constantly repeating questions about what was real, what was genuine. Like a mania, she had become obsessed with the concept and trying to understand it, desperate for some spark of comprehension. Not that really cared by that point, so I spitefully let Yukino know that if she didn't understand what was genuine by now, she never would. The truth of the matter was that I had no idea what was real either, but like hell was I going to let Yukino know that.

It wasn't until much later, when that moment ran through my mind for the thousandth time. That I finally realised what Yukino had been trying to express and understand, whether she realised it or not. Those were her feelings for me, her conflicting emotions about Yui and why my response had been to savagely rip her heart out.

I had laughed at Yukino's feelings when she was at her most vulnerable and somehow managed to stride away from the scene with pride. Satisfied that I would never see them or this school again, convinced that my life would be magically wiped clean as soon as I left those gates.

But of course, it hadn't, those days haunted me and probably always will. My inner demons tormenting me by replaying my darkest moments in my dreams and slowly slipping my feelings towards remorse. Though the events had brought me and Iroha closer, they forever cast a shadow over our relationship. To be honest it was a miracle that our marriage lasted as long as it did and probably owed more to her perseverance than mine. I'd loved her for putting up with my shit, but Iroha hadn't been able to do it forever.

Now she was gone, but they had returned and we were back where it all started. Only now our faces were all marked by the scars of those times and the ones that had followed. Yukino may see her last words to me as nonsense, but it wasn't like I wasn't spouting nonsense myself.

"It was wrong of me," I said awkwardly. "To ask you, both of you for something real. When I was incapable of being truthful with you and with myself for that matter. I don't think I know what genuine would look like even if you placed it in front of me and frankly I still don't."

Yukino looked at me thoughtfully, before saying, "I guess I should have known that and I don't know why I became so fixated on it. I just felt if understood it, then suddenly everything would click together and I could solve everything. Our troubles, my family issues, my own problems, everything."

"I don't think there will ever be some magical phrase that will solve all our problems," I said. "No matter how hard we search."

"I see that now," said Yukino. "But back then I was convinced it was there, just out of my reach and it was maddening."

The small laugh Yukino gave showed how literal that had been for her. With a grim expression I said, "I'm sorry that well, I was a complete and utter arsehole. You reached out to me for help and I threw it back in your face when you most needed a friend."

"I won't deny what you were that day, so don't expect me to refute it," said Yukino with a slight smile. "But I should have handled that day so much better, so maybe I will accept some of that blame."

"Don't think I won't accept some that," said Yui. "I dithered so much about going to graduation, if I'd actually had the guts to go, maybe I could have saved something."

"Or you could have made everything even worse," I said with a shrug. "It's impossible to say."

"I know, but that doesn't stop me from feeling bad about it," said Yui.

I think we all feel that regret," said Yukino. "For all the good it does for us."

The blame game goes two ways, either you're constantly trying to cast it all on someone else or attempting to absorb it all. But if you're all doing that it just ends up going in a circle, with no progression, only a slow descent. I could feel the black hole of our past starting to pull us in again and it had to be stopped before we were all dragged under.

"Not that it I'm dismissing what happened, but I think we need to draw a line," I suggested somewhat forcibly. "We are all ashamed of what happened and we're all wanting to take the blame, regardless of who deserved it. But if we don't put those days behind us, we'll never be able to move on and sort out our other problems.

There was a pause and I wondered if I had offended them. But then Yui glanced at Yukino and said, "There are still things we need to talk about though."

"I know, but..." I started. Only to stop myself so I could marshal my thoughts and prevent myself from saying anything else stupid.

It was a decision that had been rolling around in my mind for what felt like forever. It was something I should have decided a long time ago, but the truth was I had been either too stupid to see the problem or too scared to face it. Convincing myself that I was delusional, mistaken or that it would go away if I buried my head in the sand.

You think it would be easy, a simple binary choice, one or the other. I'm sure if I was watching from afar, I'd be screaming, 'pick her she's the best' or 'no, she's far better.' I could think about it with my monstrous logic, coldly balancing pros and cons, but I still wouldn't come up with an answer. My heart was a mess and I had long ago given up trusting it on matters this important, not that it stayed in one place for long.

But for me that didn't even feel like the main issue, the real issue was the friendship between Yukino and Yui. As I sat thinking they whispered to each other, leaning close as they conversed in short phrases and incomprehensible female body language. It seemed to me that they need each other far more than they needed me and that was what informed this decision the most.

I was going to refuse both of them.

It sounded so straightforward and simple, but it wouldn't be. I just had to hope that they would understand, that I could explain my reasoning in a way that would maintain our friendship. I knew there was a high chance of screwing up again, but maybe we had enough battle scars to not let emotions run away from us.

I wondered if we took this course, did it mean that we were being truly genuine with each other, probably not. It had seemed so important back then, but if it took a lie to maintain this friendship, then so be it. We would all be holding something back, but I think we all knew that and if we accepted it, everything would be okay. To me, our friendship felt more important than truth, which seemed more like a tarnished ideal these days anyway.

But still I was asking them to give up something major and it I was under no illusion that this would be easy for them. I may not understand why they both felt this way about me, because I certainly didn't deserve it. So I know worried at how cold and selfish my request sounded in my head, but it was one I had to make, I just had to hope they would understand.

I closed my eyes for a moment trying to formulate my feelings into words, attempting to...

"Hikki," said Yui in a soft, sing song voice that only just caught my attention.

"Hikigaya!" Snapped Yukino sharply. Before adding with a groan, "why do you always wander off into your own head when we want to discuss anything important?"

I looked at the pair them as they straightened up and smiled like newsreaders. Though they tried to look pleasant, the sudden formality made me feel slightly nervous and made me straighten up myself.

"Hikigaya," said Yukino. "After much discussion, Miss Yuigahama and myself have decided. That you are far too disreputable a man for us ever..."

Yukino was cut off by a whack to her shoulder. "Come on, Yukino," said Yui stifling her giggles. "You can say it properly."

Yukino blushed and it took a few attempts to marshal her words. Before deciding to instead whisper to Yui, "are you absolutely sure. I assure you that if you want to, I don't mind..."

"No, Yukino it's fine," Yui replied quietly. "As long as you're okay, you know if you really want to then I'll step back."

"No," said Yukino. "We agreed on this and that it is for the best."

Yukino tentatively put her hand on Yui's and then firmly squeezed it with a determined smile. She tried to make look more dignified, but her earlier cool was lost and Yukino's voice shook as tried to find her words.

"We have decided, Hikigaya," said Yukino. "That neither one of us will accept any romantic proposals from you, nor will we attempt to..."

Yukino's nerve went and she started stumbling over her words again.

So Yui took over with, "Yukino promises not to jump you."

"Yui!" Screeched Yukino, clouting her friend. "I would never 'jump him' regardless of the circumstances." She paused for a moment before adding in quiet indignation, "and neither can you."

"Don't worry I won't," Yui said with a sigh. Then looking at me she added, "What we're trying to say Hikki, is that for the sake of the three of us. It's best we put aside any romantic ideas, are you okay with that?"

The nervous pause grew as I realised they were expecting an answer right away. Yui was already starting to repeat herself when I let out an "okay," punctuated with a long sigh. But they still just looked at me expectantly, clearly expecting a more affirmative response. So, I added, "I was about to say pretty much the same thing."

With those simple words, I felt all the tension I'd built up, leak from my body. Slowly slouching into the chair like I'd melted and giving me a real craving for some coffee.

I felt Yui eyeing me critically as she said, "you had a big speech planned, didn't you?"

My irritated expression gave them their answer and they both sat up again. Their faces etched with amusement as they looked at me like excited children at story time.

"Come on then Hikigaya, let's hear it," said Yukino, lacing her fingers together.

I gave them a sour look and waved a hand dismissively as I said. "Nah, I'd only end up making a complete mess of it and upsetting you both."

This made Yukino and Yui both nod in unison as they giggled lightly. "Yes, that's very true," said Yukino. "Though it almost feels like our visit here is incomplete without one of your ill-considered speeches."

"It's for the best I think," said Yui. "He can be such a…"

Yui broke off as she considered her insult, leaving Yukino to add, "…a Hachiman?"

"Yes, that's it," agreed Yui.

Then they both sighed and looked at me with a hint of a despair as they said together, "such a Hachiman."

"Hey, don't use my name in vain," I snapped.

Yukino scoffed, "I always knew you were full of yourself Hikigaya, but I never thought you'd take it to the level of a god."

"Me, full of myself," I said. "That is so rich coming from you."

Yukino and I glared at each other, but the silence was filled by Yui giggling. "Stop it, guys please," Yui cried as she started to shift into full blown laughter. "You two are going to kill me with nostalgia."

"How do you kill someone with nostalgia?" I commented at the ridiculousness of the statement.

"I frankly don't understand how either," said Yukino. "But I'm sure somehow, you could manage it."

"Yui was telling you to stop too," I pointed out. "So maybe your nostalgia producing abilities are far more lethal than mine."

"Stop making up trivial competitions to make yourself feel better," stated Yukino.

"I didn't make it up, Yui did," I said waving a hand at the culprit.

But Yui didn't respond, her face buried in her crossed arms and making stupid snorts of laughter. It took her a while to get her breath back and eventually she sat up, tears running down her cheeks.

"I don't see what's so funny," I snapped, glaring at her.

But that just seemed to set Yui off again and Yukino said to me, "I know it's hard for you, but kindly stop making weird faces before our friend passes out."

"I'm so sorry," said Yui between gasps. "I've just been on edge all day and there is something about hearing you two bickering like old times again just sets me off."

"Look just turn around or something Hikigaya, your face is clearly upsetting her," Yukino said, pulling Yui close as she glared at me reproachfully. Yui started to calm as Yukino stroked her hair and added, "there, there, I've made the bad man stop."

I didn't turn around and was settled to just narrowing my eyes at the ridiculous pair in front of me. Yui was hiccupping slightly as they leant against each other with their eyes closed and the atmosphere of the room continued to relax. I felt my own mood lighten as I watched their hands find each other and squeeze together.

This is what I wanted, not just my friendship with Yui or with Yukino, but their friendship with each other. Their bond was the same, if not stronger than it was with me. One that I felt like I needed to protect, even if it came at a cost to myself. A smile crested my lips as I watched their fingers curling around each other, each digit tenderly adjusting to fit. It just felt so nice to watch this closeness between two people and brought a warmth even to my rotten heart.

Something whistled past my ear.

I looked up startled and straight into Yui's livid face. "Oh my god Hikki," she cried, her arm still raised from flinging the plastic cup. "We were having a nice moment and you have to ruin it all with that dirty, depraved mind of yours!"

"What, I never said I thing?" I proclaimed.

"No, but that lurid smile said it all," answered Yui, her face almost as pink as her hair.

"I'm amazed it still surprises you," said Yukino, shaking her head.

"Maybe we should have stuck with your original idea of calling him too disreputable," said Yui sulkily.

"I had a whole lexicon of words ready, but you were the one that wanted to be nice to him," said Yukino. "Though thinking about it now, we were right earlier and his family has been his entire life. The only word to describe him is simply…"

"Hachiman," they said together and sighed.

"Will you two stop that," I snapped. "Because otherwise, I'm just going to throw this agreement and everything else in the trash.

There was a pause as the atmosphere became more formal. "Sorry Hikki, it's like all this is much easier to deal with if we think…" started Yui.

"…We remind ourselves of your more, negative aspects," finished Yukino.

"Oh thanks," I said. "For your information, I was only thinking about how nice it was to see you two being such close friends again."

They blushed simultaneously and looked awkwardly away. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions," said Yui. "I should know by now that you're not always thinking something perverted when you smile like that."

"Well it's an easy mistake to make, so you shouldn't beat yourself up over it," said Yukino.

"I see I'm not getting an apology from you," I said.

"Fine, I'm sorry," said Yukino with an overly dramatic bow.

"Whatever," I said dismissively. "Look, is there anything else you want to discuss or shall we leave this pit of nostalgia, because I could do with something to eat and drink."

"Hikki's stomach calls it seems," said Yui. But it was her own that answered and she blushed, crossing her arms over herself.

Yukino smiled and said, "actually, I did bring something. I wasn't sure if Hiratsuka would have anything other than cup ramen in her cupboards, so I made some lunches for us."

"Hey, don't dismiss cup ramen," I stated. "Japan would be lost without it."

Yukino scoffed as she reached into her bag, that I'm sure was far bigger inside than the exterior suggested. Rummaged for a while and pulled out a series of carefully wrapped bento boxes, placing them neatly on the table. Yui and I waited with a little trepidation as Yukino studied the boxes for a moment, then pushed one towards each of us.

"Don't worry they're the same," she said with a hint of nervousness and while that was technically correct in terms of the morsels on offer, each had a different design. Yui's in the likeness of her old dog Sable and mine like my old cat Kamakura, while Yukino's was like Pan-San. Yukino opened the fourth box, revealing a car design and added," I did this one for Hiratsuka, but you two might as well have it. Sorry, I was so nervous last night, I went a little overboard on them."

Yukino took a box of cookies a placed them on the table between us, carefully positioning it equidistant from me and Yui. We both watched Yukino without comment as we ate, smiling in thanks for the food. Trying to pretend the situation was a hundred percent normal.

I was under no illusion that everything was going to be all sunshine and roses now. That this agreement meant that the complex web of emotions between us, suddenly didn't exist. Whether the idea would stand forever or soon crumble back into dust, was something only time would tell. I think they both knew this and I had no doubt there would be times where this truce would be stretched to breaking point. But it was worth trying, I had decided that I wanted to put all my will into making it work.

If it failed, it failed, but it wouldn't be for want of trying. I had presumed too much in the past and left it to some imagine fate to pick the right course. Granted neither of us had any idea what the future held, but there was comfort in the idea that Yukino and Yui would be there to drag me out of the mud.

Of course, the situation could drastically change at any time and we'd have to reassess everything. The most obvious being that one or both of them could meet other guys. Much better guys, who would finally give them the love and life they deserved. Even if the idea gave me a pang of jealousy, it was a selfish feeling that I had no right to inflict on them.

It might take some time until we all found the equilibrium of this mess, finding our places to balance out the strange three-armed seesaw. I would have to be especially careful with how I interacted with them until things were settled. To think all our problems were now all over, just because we had made a decision, was foolhardy.

But at least we had a place to start from, a platform from where we could look to the future. I guess this mood was in the room because as she finished her lunch, Yukino tidied it away and prepared to speak. With a polite cough, she said, "I have something to ask of you. I suppose it would be appropriate since we're here, to call it a request."

She smiled at the little inside joke and Yui said gently, "go on Yukino," while I nodded.

Yukino cleared her throat again and continued, "recently I've been considering where I want to go next in my life. I've spent so much time in the shadow of my family, that now I am beginning to feel free of them, I don't know what to do with myself. Like I want to reinvent myself in some way, to find the me that I want to be, rather than what anyone else wants."

Yukino looked down at her hands as her voice cracked a little. "I'm ashamed to have to ask you, but I need your help in this. I've tried, so many times in the past, but something always goes wrong. Whether it be something going amiss, my sister messing with me or that I simply get scared and run away."

She looked at me sadly and though I hadn't thought it, Yukino said, "I know what you're going to say Hikigaya and you're still right. It's pathetic that I run a massive construction company, but don't even know who I am. I'm not asking you to tell me who to be, that would be the opposite of what I need. But I may need well, a kick in the backside if I start to flag or go astray."

"I'm not sure about all that, but kicks in the butt I can do," I said casually.

Yukino sighed and shook her head. "I guess I shouldn't ask for more, so thank you Hikigaya."

I gave Yukino a relaxed salute, but Yui looked less than impressed. "Why does he get priority," she said. "I'm perfectly capable of kicking your bum too."

"Well, I have got bigger feet for a start," I pointed out. "Along with experience in giving corrective punts to Komachi."

"Still I don't see why it should be just you that gets to do it Hikki," said Yui.

"I never said you couldn't," I said. "Feel free to give her a..."

"What are you two arguing about?" Cried Yukino in exasperation.

Yui giggled and said, "Don't worry we'll only do it if you really deserve it." Punctuating her point by poking Yukino under the table, causing the embattled woman to jump up with a yelp.

"I am trying to have a serious discussion about my future and well, our future," Yukino stammered. "But you two just want to fool around and joke about my bottom."

Seeing the hurt expression on Yukino's face, Yui's smile faded. "I'm sorry Yukino," she said guiltily. "I think I've kind of gone a bit silly, now that everything's relaxed a bit."

Yukino smiled and squeezed Yui's shoulder. "It's okay," said Yukino. "I think I'm still feeling a little on edge, so sorry for jumping down your throat."

"You're right to be thinking about the future though," said Yui in a more serious tone. "I've been putting a lot of thought into where I want to be too." She glared at me and added, "don't you dare scoff, Hikki!"

"I wasn't going to say anything," I proclaimed. But Yui still narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously.

"Anyway," said Yui, taking a moment to collect herself. "I think I want to make a new start with myself, that I've let the past dominate too much of who I am. I'd convinced myself I was over my daughter, but I really wasn't."

Yui paused for a moment while Yukino looked at her with concern. "But I need to," said Yui. "I feel like I've already wasted so many years just drifting, waiting at the window for my purpose to come to me. I get what you mean Yukino, I want to find a new direction for my life. Talking with you guys, sorting things out, heck even just sitting here again. It's helped me come to terms with what I've done, but also made me want to do something more."

"Though it's still a scary prospect," Yui continued. "So, I guess I'm going to selfish too and ask you to two to keep me on the right track. I'm so petrified of messing things up again, that I can like, lock up, so I'm going to need your help keeping going, sorry."

Yui looked down at the desk in shame, but Yukino put a hand on her arm to make her look up. "Don't worry," Hikigaya and I will keep an eye on you, though I'm sure you won't need it."

"Yui squeezed her friend's hand and smiled as she said, "thank you. I know I didn't need to ask, but still, it feels good to hear it."

"Just don't hide anywhere I can't find you and let me know when something is wrong," I said. "I'm not a psychic, I won't know if you don't tell me."

"Indeed Hikigaya," said Yukino. "Even if such abilities did exist, you would be the worst in the country, if not the world."

"I wouldn't say they don't exist Yukino," said Yui. Who then began rubbing her temples as she continued, "for example, you're thinking, Hikki is an idiot."

"When isn't she thinking that," I snapped, frowning at Yui's mischievous grin.

"I was about to ask," said Yukino. "Whether you wanted to add anything to our discussion or are perfectly happy as you are, Hikigaya?"

"Don't get him started on about how wonderful he is," said Yui. "I don't think my eyes can cope with the rolling."

"Well if you two are so enlightened why don't you tell me," I said.

"Well for starters," said Yukino. "I would frankly be rather disappointed in you if you spent the rest of your days as some peon in my office. Not that I'm not grateful for the work you've done, but I know you are capable of being much greater than that. You still have a lot of potential, which sadly you seem to squander in pursuit of an easy life and it pains me to see you waste it."

Yui was nodding as Yukino looked at me imploringly. But honestly, I had no better idea of what I wanted to do with my life now than I had when I left school. If anything, I had more options then, because I still entertained the notion of being a house husband, which had worked out so well for me. I sole long term goal in life these days was making sure Homura grew up happy and I wasn't sure how successful I'd been at that. I hadn't even thought about another purpose in life in a very long time, to the point where I couldn't remember if I'd ever had one.

I took a deep breath and said, "you're right. But I don't have a clue if there's anything I can do these days without fucking it up."

"You won't, Hikki," said Yui. "I've seen what you're capable of if you put your mind to it."

"That doesn't mean I'm not a screw-up," I said. "As everyone and their mom likes to remind me on a daily basis, especially you two."

I had meant it as an admission rather than a jab, but Yui and Yukino gave each other troubled looks, before looking away from me. "Well, that's not going to happen anymore," said Yui. "You've said you'll support us and we will do the same."

"I can't promise never to scold your mistakes, Hikigaya," said Yukino. "But I will make sure they are deserved first."

"Actually, it would probably really weird me out," I said. "If the pair of you suddenly started being nice to me all the time."

They chuckled and Yui said, "Yeah it would take some getting used to. Especially the sight of you and Yukino not bickering all the time."

"Stop implying we're like an old marr…," started Yukino, before suddenly cutting herself off. "Anyway, he's more like an errant child that needs to be corrected, actually you both are."

"No, you and Hikki are more like brothers and sisters who are constantly fighting," said Yui. Before adding with a sigh, "with me as the haggard mom, caught in the middle."

"Hardly," I said with a mocking laugh. "You two are like delinquent daughters and far more trouble than Homura will ever be. Though increasingly I beginning to think you're like two bothersome old grandmothers."

With a laugh, Yui said, "so basically the conclusion we've come to today, is that we're like some horribly dysfunctional family?"

"I'm not so sure about that," said Yukino. "The pair of you are surprisingly, far more preferable to my actual dysfunctional family, which is truly a sad state of affairs. But maybe seeing ourselves as a family, no matter how strange is the best way to look at our situation. I certainly feel safer in the knowledge that you are looking out for me and more positive about keeping check of your prospects."

"I know what you mean," said Yui. "This is the first time I felt positive about my future in ages and I think I can finally start to move forward with my head held high."

Despite the optimistic vibe in the room, I could feel storms of cynicism and doubt rumbling inside me, eternally trying to put a stranglehold on such happy thoughts. I forced the bitter taste down, not wanting to infect them with my poison, regardless of whether it had any validity. We were making it sound easy, but it wouldn't be and I think they knew that. But now was the time for brave faces, smiling together at the sunrise on a new chapter in our lives.

"Sure," I said. "Let's try and figure out this whole 'being an adult' thing together."

Yukino laughed and looked like she was about to say a snarky comment, but stopped herself. "Being an adult," she said instead. "It's strange that if I was to quantify all the experiences and qualities that make someone an adult, you're the one that comes out on top, Hikigaya."

"Well, I certainly don't feel like one," I said with a shrug.

I guess I'd always assumed there was some magic moment where suddenly bam, you were an adult. But that had never happened, maybe it was just the slow corrosion of bitterness and cynicism that made you one or maybe just the ever-increasing pile of responsibilities. Well, I had all that in droves, but still felt no more adult than I had when I left this school.

"Well as far as the world is concerned, all three of us are," said Yukino. "So I guess we should try and start acting like it."

As if to punctuate her point, the door suddenly slid open to the sound of voices and all three of us looked over at the visitors. Two kids stood in the doorway holding parts of a costume and looking at us apprehensively. Well, I say kids, but they were the same age we had been when this was our club room. No doubt they saw themselves as mature and maybe they were, but they looked so young, closer to my daughter in age than me.

"Excuse us, this is our club room," said one of them cautiously.

"We need to get changed," added the other, hefting the head of the costume for effect.

There was a pause as they waited for a response and eventually Yukino said, "Yes, it is about time we were leaving. Sorry, we were just lost in reminiscence."

She stood, neatly packing our bento boxes away, which acted as a signal for Yui and me to stand. Collecting our things, we awkwardly walked towards the door, where the two students parted to let us pass.

"This used to be our club room too," said Yui to the pair cheerfully. But they just gave her polite smiles that made it clear they didn't give a shit. As they entered, the three of us turned for a final look at our old home, only for the door to slam shut in our faces.

"I guess that's that then," I said with a shrug.

"What shall we do now?" Asked Yui.

"Let's just get out of here and grab a coffee," I said, feeling cranky.

"I had a feeling you'd say that," replied Yui with a smile.

I suppose it must be almost time for your next dose," said Yukino. "When was your last?"

"This morning," I said. "So yes, after all that I could really do with some."

Yukino sighed as she said, "you really drink far too much of that stuff. But I agree I could do with some coffee myself, so shall we go?"

There was a nod of agreement from Yui and myself, so we worked our way back through the school to the entrance. Passing groups of wary students, while Yui whispered despairingly to Yukino about how young they all were.

We emerged back into the world with the hubbub of the school festival still in full swing and the noise was uncomfortably loud after the quiet of the club room. Also, there seemed to be some sort of commotion going on over at the main auditorium, where the wail of guitars could be heard even from here. But it wasn't our problem, so we carried on towards the entrance and freedom.

I really had spoken too soon, as our path was blocked by an old teacher and a very frazzled looking girl with a student council badge. The teacher looked relieved when he saw Yukino and motioned her to come over. She gave us a despairing look and went to them, listening to their urgent whispers. Yukino's expression grew increasingly grave, but eventually, she nodded and they bowed thankfully before scuttling away. She came back to us, looking towards the auditorium with a grim cast.

After a deep breath, Yukino said, "it would seem that our beloved former teacher and her delightful friend, have decided to take up music again." Seeing our confused expressions, she added, "they somehow snuck on to the school grounds rather, inebriated. Then proceeded to gate crash the stage and have an impromptu concert, as you can now hear."

The distant guitars seemed to get louder, to emphasise her point and I groaned. I started to slowly edge in the direction of the school gates, but Yukino stopped me with a hand to my shoulder.

"Not so fast Hikigaya," said Yukino.

"Why do we have to deal with Hiratsuka," I said. "Didn't she want us to leave her alone?"

"I know, but I feel we still have a responsibility towards her," said Yukino. "Saving her from herself was pretty much my intention this morning, it just seems to have been delayed a short while. Anyway, the school has asked me because of my past with Hiratsuka, hoping that we could deal with the situation peacefully."

"Good luck with that," I said.

"Indeed," said Yukino. "Which is why you'll be the one to deal with her.

"Why me, let the police handle it," I complained pointlessly.

"Because you already have experience of weathering Hiratsuka's outbursts," said Yukino with a smile. "Also, I rather not have the law involved, it would be bad for the school and very bad for her."

"Come on Hikki, think of it as an opportunity to be all manly and heroic," added Yui. Completely failing to hide the amusement in her voice.

I gave them a bitter look as Yukino commented, "I wouldn't be so glib Yui. You and I will be dealing with Miss Yamanaka, who despite appearances can be quite terrifying when roused."

Yui smile vanished and her eyes started to look towards the gate, occasionally darting to me as if making a suggestion. "You know, maybe it'd be better if we let someone more official deal with them," said Yui nervously.

Yukino's hand stopped Yui from moving, as she said, "it'll be fine. By the sound of their playing, they're likely far too drunk to put up much resistance."

Neither Yui or I looked entirely convinced, but it seemed Yukino had her heart set on the matter. "Fine, let's just get this over with," I said irritably. "Though you owe me a coffee when this is all over."

"And a pastry," added Yui quickly.

"Very well," said Yukino with a smile. "They'll be on me."

We smiled together and nodded as I said, "Come on then, though I'm sure I'm going to regret this."

I had made the foolish hope that once again I could exit the school gates and my past would be wiped clean. But such a thing was impossible and again the claws of history were reaching out to pull me back. But maybe this time I could see the good things I had done, the precious friends I had made and who had blessed me with the rarest of second chances. Dealing with our wayward teacher was a small price to pay for that and it felt good to working together again.

I wish I could say we looked like some noble samurai, striding together into the sunset like in an old movie. But the flow was the crowd was against us and we had to meander through the people who were wisely escaping the chaos ahead. Different routes, but with a singular goal, the Service Club riding again to save another fool from themselves.

Maybe one day we would finally figure out how to save each other, from our own foolishness.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Hi everyone, thank you all for sticking with me this far.  
_

 _I'll admit with the ending of this chapter I've run into a bit of a problem, since I had originally intended this to be the end. Mainly because I thought Chapter 12 of Oregairu would be out and this story would now be redundant. Then I'd be stuck with the decision of either: Carrying on regardless, re-writing with the same basic story while including Chapter 12 elements or starting something completely new. As we all know Chapter 12 isn't out yet, so I'm going to take a break from this, at least until recent rumours are confirmed or denied. Though I am planning to write a little spin off story about Hiratsuka and her friend, so keep an eye out for that._

 _Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and as always feel free to leave me your thoughts._

 _Yours_

 _Godric._

 _P.S. Happy Birthday Hikigaya!_


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